At one time or another, we have all hit major bumps in the road – challenging us in ways we haven’t been before and testing our resilience. I remember participating in a meeting where I noticed how two people communicated very differently about the same difficult situation. Both people knew there was a lot more work to do to resolve the issues at hand, but one person came at it from a position of strength, conveying more confidence and optimism about the road ahead, while the other person left the impression that this experience had derailed everything and would take substantial recovery time.

Regardless of how you feel deep down inside, how often do you communicate from a position of strength? To help you determine how you “show up” after challenging situations, answer the questions below. If you are not sure of an answer, ask others for feedback.

1. What does your body language look like?

• I sigh or take a deep breath before I speak.

• I roll my eyes or look down or away.

• I slump over or have my head in my hands.

• I make direct eye contact.

• I sit up straight.

• I smile often.

• I appear engaged.

2. What does your tone sound like?

• I sound like I have no energy left.

• I have an edge, sounding irritated or frustrated.

• I am soft-spoken.

• I sound calm and in control.

• I sound energetic.

• I laugh.

3. What language do you use?

I use words that indicate that I:

• can't believe what has happened

• am in the middle of chaos or transition

• am exhausted or frustrated

• blame others

• have a positive attitude and will march forward

We all have our moments of frustration. The question is how long you allow yourself to stay in that place. So, this week, define one small step you will take to communicate from a position of strength, conveying confidence in your ability to move things forward and engaging others to help you if necessary. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.