Even as we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the coronavirus pandemic, we're also experiencing stress and exhaustion after more than a year of disruption. Many of us are still not feeling quite like ourselves — and with good reason.
So, I thought it was a good time to revisit the core ideas of positivity. These principles have made a big difference for both me and my clients over the years. And they can be an important part of our toolkits for dealing with stress and restoring and replenishing ourselves as these challenging times continue.
Negative Emotions Are Big, But Brief
Positive and negative emotions both play important roles in our lives. Because negative emotions help us deal with threats, we're wired to pay a lot of attention to them, according to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, a researcher on the science of emotions. (Be sure to check out her books Positivity and Love 2.0). However, over time, negative emotions may create “lingering lenses" — for example, the tendency to see danger in every situation. It's helpful to remember that emotions, by nature, are brief. If you're having negative emotions right now, it may not feel like they'll ever pass. But they will. Also remind yourself that a negative emotion might feel "big" not because of its actual magnitude, but rather because that's just how our brains work.
Positivity Is Good Medicine
It's not just important to manage our negative emotions right now. We also need to cultivate positive emotions. Positivity has very real effects on our physical and emotional well-being and is tightly linked to how long we live and how healthy we are. Research shows a direct correlation between positive emotions and heart health, immune health and resilience. Positive emotions can even increase your sense of purpose. If this is a time of transition for you, positive emotions can help you find your new path.
3 Steps to More Positivity
Using the power of positivity to tackle your pandemic fatigue doesn't mean telling yourself to "just think positive" or constantly reading positivity quotes or memes on social media. To become more positive, you need intentional strategies. It isn't about suppressing negative feelings.
As an example, let's say that you want to start working out regularly again after letting your fitness habits slide during the pandemic. Based on Dr. Frederickson’s teachings, you could use this simple reflection to get started:
Notice how often you actually think about the activity – in this case, exercising. Once or multiple times a day? Weekly? Never?
Identify what percentage of your thoughts about the activity is positive and what percentage is negative.
Finally, think about how positive your experience is while you are engaging in the activity.
In other words, tweak the experience so that it becomes more enjoyable, rather than just focusing on the accomplishment. When I used to go to spinning classes regularly with friends, I loved it — even when I was too tired to do it. I enjoyed catching up with my friends, listening to the upbeat music and picking a person in the class to secretly “compete” with. If I had been focused only on the outcome (getting through the one-hour class) I wouldn’t have enjoyed it nearly as much.
Reprogram Your Negative Thoughts
Once you have greater awareness about your thoughts about an activity, you can actually “program” your spontaneous thoughts to be more positive. Frederickson suggests using an “if (this), then (that)” approach. Continuing with our example of exercise, here’s what it would look like in practice:
If I am too tired to exercise after work, then I will remind myself how good I will feel once I start exercising.
If it is a nice day outside, then I will go for a walk in my favorite park or trail.
These quick strategies will help you develop effective ways to counteract some of the challenges and negative thoughts you may be facing lately. I have been trying them myself and am surprised at how quickly they start to work. How can you put positivity into action in your own life this week? For more self-care strategies like the ones in this article, pick up a copy of "Staying in the Driver's Seat," part of my Leadership EDGE℠ series.