The Women Who Personally Inspired You

I took a moment today to reflect on the women in my personal history who have had a major impact on my career success. Many of us have known a special person who helped them achieve a goal, tackle a challenge or find the confidence needed to take a leap of faith. Whether that person was a relative, a teacher, first boss or important colleague, I encourage you to look back and remember what they did. And ask yourself how they impacted your life and whether they still inspire you today. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor recently authored a book entitled “My Beloved World,” her 2010 autobiography about growing up in the Bronx, the daughter of poor immigrant Puerto Rican parents. Justice Sotomayor shares in her book that it was important to “find someone in your life who unconditionally loves you.”  Her grandmother was that person for her.

In my own life, my mother has been that person. She instilled in me the belief that I can do anything, an unwavering sense of confidence that if I work hard I will succeed. As a child, I completely underestimated the importance of this. But, as a parent and adult – and someone who coaches high performers – I realize how much difference this can make in a person’s ability to forge ahead into the unknown, take a risk, and pursue their passion.  I often see unbelievably talented individuals doubting themselves and holding back from taking steps towards the lives that they really want.  Trust me, I still have moments of doubt but I can also still hear my mother’s words of encouragement.  And those words ultimately overpower any hesitation or fear I might feel.

My mother’s gift is one for which I will forever be grateful. What special gift has someone given you? Take a few minutes today to think about it, and then acknowledge her with gratitude.

Photo Credit: Sonia Sotomayor

Leaving Your Mark and Saluting Women Who Paved the Way

During Women’s History month, we are honoring women who made a difference. Below are stories of 10 women whom some would call the “mothers” of American business. Remarkable women who shaped our country’s business history beginning as early as the 1700s. Eliza Lucas Pinckney, 1722-1793 Charleston, SC Business: Agriculture

At 16 years old, Eliza Lucas Pinckney unintentionally became a businesswoman. After the death of her mother, Eliza ran her family’s three South Carolina plantations and cared for her younger siblings while her father, a British military officer, was stationed in the Caribbean. Her father sent a few indigo seeds from Antiqua and she planted them as an experiment.  Because of Eliza’s experiment and burgeoning business prowess, indigo became the second-largest crop in the state — South Carolina exported 134,000 pounds of indigo in 1748 — until the rise of cotton.

Mary Katherine Goddard, 1738-1816 Baltimore, MD Business: Journalism/Publishing

Mary Katherine Goddard got her start in publishing by working at her brother’s print shop in Rhode Island. She advanced quickly, publishing the weekly Providence Gazette,  followed by a stint in Philadelphia publishing the Pennsylvania Chronicle. In 1774, her brother’s printing business took her to yet another city –Baltimore – where she ran Baltimore’s first newspaper, The Maryland Journal. She was responsible for the first printed copy of the Declaration of Independence, and was the only printer in the city during the Revolutionary War.

Rebecca Pennock Lukens, 1794-1854 Brandywine Valley, PA Business: Iron and Steel

In 1825, the widow Rebecca Pennock Lukens was pregnant with her sixth child when she purchased the remaining interest in her late father’s struggling business, Brandywine Iron & Nail. Less than 10 years later, it was thriving under her leadership. Lukens successfully steered her company through the national financial crisis known as the “Panic of 1837.” More than 30 years after her death, Brandywine Iron & Nail became the publicly traded Lukens Iron & Steel, until it was purchased by Bethlehem Steel in 1998. In 1994, Fortune posthumously crowned Lukens “America’s first female CEO of an industrial company” and named her to the National Business Hall of Fame.

Bridget ‘Biddy’ Mason, 1818-1891 Los Angeles, CA Business: Real Estate

Born into slavery in Mississippi, Biddy Mason grew up to be a successful real estate developer and human-rights champion. A decade after winning freedom for herself and her three daughters, Biddy became one of the first black women to own land when she purchased commercial property in what is now the heart of downtown Los Angeles for $250. She turned her initial investment into a small real estate empire worth about $300,000 in 1884.

Jane Addams, 1860-1935 Chicago, IL Business: Nonprofits

Jane Addams founded Hull House, the first settlement house in the US as an educational and cultural community for immigrant women. This effort, along with other philanthropic efforts and social activism, earned her (along with Nicholas Murray Butler) a Nobel Peace Prize in 1931.

Catherine Anselm ‘Kate’ Gleason, 1865-1933 Rochester, NY Business: Engineering/Banking/Construction

At the age of 11, Kate Gleason began working for her father at the family machine-tool company Gleason Works. She coupled her interest in mechanical engineering and mechanical arts and helped design a revolutionary machine that efficiently and inexpensively produced beveled gears. She continued with the company for many years, expanding Gleason’s services internationally. Gleason temporarily became the first female president of the First National Bank of Rochester when its president joined the military during World War I. After the war, she invented a new method of pouring concrete, enabling low-cost concrete houses which became the model for suburban developments.

Elizabeth Arden, 1884-1966 New York, NY Business: Cosmetics

Florence Nightingale Graham changed her name, and the future of beauty. She started as a shop assistant, then a partner in a beauty salon before opening her first salon in 1909 under the name Elizabeth Arden.  Arden delved into chemistry, designing, developing and manufacturing her own beauty products. In 1914 she incorporated and expanded internationally with a salon opening in France in 1922. There are now Elizabeth Arden Red Door spas throughout the U.S., Europe, Australia and South America.

Mary Kay Ash, 1918-2001 Hot Wells, TX Business: Cosmetics/Direct Sales

Following a few rocky positions, and a failed advice book, Mary Kay Ash developed a business plan that then morphed into Mary Kay Cosmetics. At the age of 63, with $5,000 in seed money and the help of her son Richard, Ash started her new business with the intent to empower women and make their lives more beautiful. Her direct-sales cosmetics company grew into a multimillion-dollar conglomerate with nearly 2 million independent beauty consultants across the globe.

Katharine Meyer Graham, 1917-2001 Washington, D.C. Business: Mass Media

Katharine Meyer Graham’s involvement with The Washington Post has had many twists and turns.  In 1933, her multimillionaire father purchased The Washington Post at a bankruptcy auction. Graham began working for the Post in the late 1930s and married Philip Graham in 1940. When her father died, he bequeathed the Post to his son-in-law Phillip. But Phillip was plagued with personal problems and committed suicide in 1963. Graham gained leadership and chaired the board of directors from 1973 through 1991. Under her leadership, the Post received a Pulitzer Prize for Public Service for its coverage of Watergate.

Juanita Morris Kreps, 1921-2010 Durham, NC Business: Economics

Growing up during the Depression, Juanita Morris Kreps advocated for flexible work schedules, public preschools and equal pay. She was the first woman U.S. Secretary of Commerce — only the fourth woman in history to hold a Cabinet position.  Krebs served as a director at the New York Stock Exchange, Eastman Kodak and J.C. Penney. Combining her business expertise and passion for the advancement of professional women, Krebs wrote the influential 1971 book, Sex in the Marketplace: American Women at Work, as well as a study called Sex, Age, and Work: The Changing Composition of the Labor Force.

After reading about these amazing women, how will you leave your mark? Check out the chapter Keeping Your Passion Front and Center in my book, Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., for practical strategies to help you get the results you want. http://amzn.to/1f9Gqu7

A Little Bit of Wisdom and Inspiration

March is Women’s History Month, and a great time to draw motivation from the words of inspiring women. These 10 quotes have some real wisdom on leadership. What wisdom would you share with others?

1. A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be. — Rosalynn Carter

2. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes...and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. — Eleanor Roosevelt

3. "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." — Alice Walker

4. I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." — Helen Keller

5. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

6. An important attribute of success is to be yourself. Never hide what makes you, you. — Indra K. Nooyi, CEO, PepsiCo

7. Never limit yourself because of others' limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination. — Mae Jemison, astronaut

8. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. — Anna Quindlen

9. If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. — Margaret Fuller

10. If you are successful, it is because somewhere, sometime, someone gave you a life or an idea that started you in the right direction. Remember also that you are indebted to life until you help some less fortunate person, just as you were helped. — Melinda Gates

If any of these quotes inspired you, pay it forward by sharing them with others. And take a few minutes to think about one pearl of wisdom you have gained from your own experience.

Celebrate Women's History Month

March is Women’s History Month, and March 8 is International Women’s Day (IWD). I am excited to celebrate IWD tomorrow at the George W. Bush Presidential Center with the Women’s Initiative Program Fellows from Egypt, to hear more about the amazing results they have achieved through the program this past year.  As a faculty member and mentor for the program, it is rewarding to see their energy, confidence, and impact skyrocket throughout the year. Later on Friday, I will have the opportunity to deliver an interactive presentation to a group of women at Accenture’s IWD Celebration about Purpose, Presence, and Power – three areas proven to get results. As you think about Women’s History Month, I urge you to celebrate by thinking about and acknowledging a woman who has impacted your life.

·         What did you learn from her?

·         How has it made a difference in your life?

·         What would you say to her?

Before you move on to the next thing in your day or week, take five minutes to reach out to her, to let her know how she has touched you.

Do you leverage the power of curiosity?

We’ve all been in situations where a manager consistently asks rhetorical questions, positioning himself as the “loudest voice in the room.” And while he may think he is sharing useful information and reinforcing his position, his team members often become uncomfortable and disengaged. However, questions can be a valuable leadership tool when they come from a place of genuine curiosity. Roger Schwarz (http://www.schwarzassociates.com/) recently commented in the Harvard Business Review (http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/07/increase-your-teams-curiosity/) that good questions “keep the discussion focused, get all the information on the table, learn why members have different views, and create solutions that take into account all team members’ perspectives.”

How often do you leverage the power of true curiosity - either as a valued team member or with your manager? Do your questions typically advance the discussion in a positive way, or do you rely on rhetorical questions that can have the opposite effect? So before you ask your next question, challenge yourself to be truly curious.

Focusing on the Positives

I frequently ask my coaching clients - “What worked well for you during your ‘successful’ event?” We’ll discuss the event to determine what really worked, what was done differently and how can they consistently put those actions into play the next time. It’s a simple tactic of noticing the positives to reinforce behavior. 

I employ this tool as a parent as well. Each night, as I put my son to bed, we talk about the three good things that happened that day. I cherish these conversations, and believe this time of reflection helps him build strong skills for success.  

In fact, there is scientific evidence that daily reflection on the positives is beneficial. The Harvard Business Review recently cited a University of Florida study on this topic. A team of researchers led by Joyce E. Bono found that stress levels and physical complaints declined by roughly 15% after employees spent 10 minutes writing down three things that went well each day. Clearly, reflecting on the positives has an important effect stress and health.  

Do you focus on the positives? In my book Show Up! Step Up! Step Out!, my first chapter talks about the power of simply noticing. There is value in noticing how you show up, how others show and what it all means. I encourage you take that step a little further and notice the positives in your daily activities. Take a few minutes each night to write them down and reflect on what they mean. Then make a commitment to yourself to reinforce those positives the next day. Focusing on the positives can make a difference.    

The Gender Diversity Mindset

Every company has an embedded culture that sets the tone for acceptable behavior. Whether stated – or implied – this culture plays a critical role in either supporting or hindering efforts to advance diversity. A recent multiyear McKinsey Global Survey  investigated gender in the workplace and the ability of women to reach top management. I found the results compelling and wanted to share some key nuggets with you. Women Matter While the majority of the 230 companies surveyed had implemented at least one measure to recruit, retain, promote, and develop women, few companies have seen notable improvements as a result. The primary culprit impeding success – corporate culture. Cultural factors at work are more than twice as likely as individual factors to affect women’s confidence that they can reach top management.

What Women Want Survey results show that women’s career ambitions are just as high as their male peers, and they are ready to do what it takes to achieve their ambitions. Yet female executives are much less certain they will reach the top. Two factors seem to drive or inhibit career success: personal actions/desires/initiative, and the organizational environment in which executives work.

Moving the Needle What are the most important drivers for increasing gender diversity at the top? Survey respondents say strong CEO and top-management commitment, and a corporate culture and mind-set that supports gender-diversity objectives are required to achieve this goal. No one single tactic will deliver success. Companies need a whole ecosystem of measures – and both male and female executives to actively support the initiatives.

While you can certainly impact your company’s culture, you will see faster results by focusing on your own actions and what you can influence. In my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., I share a variety of practical leadership strategies that get results. Based on what’s getting in the way of your success, pick a chapter each week and focus on implementing the strategies in it. 

Find (and Share) Your Spark

We all know people who are truly excited about what they do. They exude energy and enthusiasm. They have a spark that may come from their work or personal lives, or both.  And it can be especially powerful when they use that spark to help others. As you go into this year, I want to encourage you to find and share your spark. My spark comes from bringing out the best in every leader I work with. One way that I use that spark to ignite change is through my work with the George W. Bush Presidential Center Women's Initiative Fellowship Program, which empowers women to catalyze change around the world.  The third year of the program kicks off on March 7, International Women’s Day.

Building on the success of the 2012 and 2013 Fellows from Egypt, this year’s group is from Tunisia. In the past two years, the Egyptian Fellows advanced their causes in big ways – starting businesses, NGO’s and nonprofits through their passion, incredible energy and spirit of collaboration. I feel so privileged to have worked with them to help them build their capabilities and confidence and forge ahead in such difficult circumstances in Egypt.

This work has also helped me notice the power of sharing your spark. As I worked with the Fellows, I saw my own spark magnify their motivation to take action and ignite sparks for others. I’m energized by the collective impact of the Program. The results are tremendous. Similarly, in my personal life, leveraging my skills and passion to advocate for positive change in the areas of income, education, and health with the United Way of Metropolitan Dallas has been rewarding. I recently testified at a hearing held by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which among other things provided an opportunity to share data about how payday lenders with exorbitant rates keep low-income people in a cycle of poverty. It was gratifying to raise the visibility of this issue to promote the implementation of fair lending practices.

Yes, my work with the Bush Center and United Way require an investment of time in a world of competing demands, but it also energizes and engages me.

So, take 10 minutes to think about what you bring to the table and look for at least one way you can use your unique skills and passions to help others. Find that spark within yourself and start turning it into something bigger, something that perhaps lights a spark within others to take action themselves. And remember, small steps can lead to big results.

How Will You Show Up with Family and Friends

Most of us regularly consider how we interact with others in a professional setting, but our personal relationships often don’t get the same level of attention. As you enter this holiday season, think about how you can help people in your personal life see more of who you really are and what you bring to the relationship. Challenge yourself to be more intentional about how you Show Up with family and friends. Even though you may be secretly planning your escape, keep a positive mindset. Ask yourself these three questions:

• How do I want others to view me?

• What matters most to me about this relationship?

• How can I convey these things through my behaviors, language, and actions?

By simply having more clarity and intention about how you want to Show Up, annoying behaviors may not trigger you as much as they typically do. That alone can be worth its weight in gold. As I always say, small steps can lead to big results. What one small step will you take to make sure you bring the best of yourself to people you care about during this holiday season?

Re-energize for the New Year

As the year winds down, are you racing to complete your “to-do” list or struggling to find the energy to get through those last few days before a well-deserved break? Maintaining your energy and understanding the activities or situations that affect it are key to your success.  First, simply notice what energizes or drains you. Are you tolerating something or someone? Are you putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own? Are you getting enough rest?

Second, remember that your energy level naturally peaks and dips in 90-minute cycles, so plan to give yourself a quick boost in those intervals. The quality of the energizing activity matters more than the quantity of time you spend on it.  It could be as simple as taking a short walk outside, talking to someone you like, or listening to a good song. Whatever you decide, choose something that works for you.

Finally, don’t underestimate the power of energy management – intentionally balancing draining activities with energizing ones. This approach can have a huge impact and is overlooked by most, so I created an entire module on this in my WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM .  Check it out if you could use some strategies to boost your energy and productivity. It may be just what you need to start 2014 with a bang.

Tap Into the Power of Gratitude

Here are three simple ways to put the power of gratitude into play:

• Express appreciation to someone who has made a difference for you this year. Research shows that the more specific your feedback, the more energy you will get from the experience.

• Think of someone who frustrates you and write a thank you note for the ways in which he or she stretches you or reminds you of your core values. (You don’t have to send the note.)

• Set the tone for each day by taking 5 minutes in the morning, before the mad dash begins, to simply notice the things for which you are grateful. Or if you prefer to do this before bedtime, jot down your thoughts in a gratitude journal. Over time this can be really impactful.

Don’t underestimate the power of gratitude, and remember that it’s not just reserved for Thanksgiving.

3 Strategies for Hectic Times

We all want to be more effective and efficient in our work. The way to do that isn’t pushing harder; it’s being more strategic. Here are three ideas to try.

Plan for the unplanned.

I often hear people say that they have trouble finding the time to get things done because of unexpected disruptions. If you find this is happening often, there’s typically a pattern and your first step is to notice it. How much time do you lose to these disruptions per week? As you plan each week, start factoring that time into your schedule to give yourself leeway to deal with the unexpected. Eventually, you can start working on the underlying issue – how to minimize the disruptions in the first place.

Take time to reflect.

It’s important that you have time each week to process what’s going on. You need a chance to look back at the week’s events, decide what they mean and adjust your priorities and focus accordingly. If you’re super-busy, start by blocking out even as little as 10 minutes to reflect. Initially, you don’t have to specify how you will use the time; just start by getting the time on the calendar. Over time, work toward designating the topics you will focus on during each block of time. Perhaps you need to focus on a major project that’s underway, or on how the week’s events affect your Big 3 priorities.

Reach out for help.

When things get hectic, our tendency can be to buckle down, work late and plow through. But instead of trying to get everything done yourself, think about whom you can reach out to for help. That could mean people on your team at work or even in your personal support network if you need a hand with something like child care. Remember that giving others a chance to help benefits them too. It can give them extra exposure at work or a chance to develop their skills. And it makes your relationship closer when you show trust by leaning on them.

This week, I challenge you to take a step back from your to-do list to put one or more of these strategies into play. Remember that small steps can lead to big results.

What Legacy Will You Leave?

I was lucky enough to have known Fritzi Woods, President and CEO of the Women’s Foodservice Forum, who passed away on Sept. 18. Fritzi brought so much energy and life to everything she touched. We shared a passion for helping women succeed. Only 53 years old, she left behind a tremendous legacy. In a letter to Fritzi’s family, first lady Michelle Obama called her “a leader, an innovator and a role model for women across our country.”

As I mourn the loss of this amazing person, I’ve been thinking about what it means to leave a legacy. Today, I encourage you to think about your own legacy and what you can do today to align your life with what you want to leave behind. These three questions can be a starting point.

1. What three things would you want someone to say about you?

2. How aligned are your time and energy with your desired legacy?

3. What one action will you take toward your desired legacy?

It could mean a small step like saying no to something that doesn’t fit, making a different everyday choice or shifting your mindset.

Sometimes it takes a jolting event like the loss of a friend or loved one or a brush with illness to get us to stop and consider what’s truly important and what we most want to create with our lives. As we remember the life and work of Fritzi Woods, let’s honor her this week by taking at least one small step toward the legacies we each want to leave.

'I'm Kind of a Big Deal!'

How long has it been since you’ve thought about your strengths? As I coached two clients through moments of frustration and self-doubt, I was reminded of how important it is to simply notice the value we bring. It can be the difference between staying where you are or moving past the hurdles in front of you.

For example, one of my clients wants to transition into a new role but has been questioning her qualifications for her dream job. So I asked her to present her business case to me, the skills and experience that demonstrate that she has what it takes. She quickly shared at least ten things that clearly showed she would be able to hit the ground running in that role.

“How does that feel saying all that?” I asked her.

“Wow,” the client replied. “I’m kind of a big deal!”

And I couldn’t agree more with her. She is “kind of a big deal.” After our coaching session, my client had the evidence she needed to move forward.

As high performers, we can set the bar so high for ourselves that we may not notice what we have to offer. Or we may have a skewed definition of “average” performance, one that others would see as exceptional performance.

Take a few minutes to notice how you are “kind of a big deal” and what that means for others around you.

1. Identify your top 3 strengths.

The first step is to simply take a step back to consider your biggest strengths. For example, is your integrity unwavering? Do you build strong relationships? Do you influence others? Are you approachable?

2. Identify the "so what" for each strength.

What does each strength allow you to do that other people cannot do? How does each of your strengths make a difference or add value (to the business, your colleagues, or teams)? Challenge yourself to come up with at least two things, and don’t underestimate yourself.

Even something simple, such as being approachable, can make a big difference and may generate a different result than someone else with the same strength. For example, for one leader, being approachable means that her peers feel comfortable coming to her with problems. This keeps her well-informed about what’s really happening across the company and gives her an edge at getting to the crux of an issue and finding effective cross-functional solutions. Another executive may also be approachable, but the impact is greater team engagement, commitment, and performance.

3. Create your personal "headline."

As you examine your strengths and how they make you uniquely valuable, what “headline” would sum it up?

“I can get results even under the worst circumstances.”

“If anyone can get it done, I can.”

“People want to follow me.”

For one of my other clients, his headline was “I have influence.” At the beginning of our conversation, he was feeling ineffective in trying to drive enormous change in the face of resistance. As we talked further, he realized that top executives are listening and taking action based on his recommendations. Think about how that shift — from seeing himself as ineffective to realizing he is influential — will affect his work.

By being more conscious of the value you bring, you’ll see yourself in a new light and put your strengths into play more deliberately each day. And when challenges feel insurmountable or self-doubt kicks in, you can pull out your headline to give you the boost you need to get back on track.

This week, I want to challenge you to take 15 minutes to go through the three steps above. This small investment of time will pay off many times over. Who knows, you may discover that you’re “kind of a big deal,” too. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

The Power of Clarity

I recently bought a house and feel like the past eight weeks have been all about choosing paint, texture, tile, granite, and bathroom fixtures. For those of you who know me well, you know this doesn't fit my definition of fun. In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that my house was already in great condition so none of this had to be done. As others have commented on the pace and intensity with which I completed the unpacking and remodeling, I realized my underlying motivation. Contrary to what people thought, it wasn't about getting it done as fast as possible. This was more about successfully completing a multi-phased move that began two-and-a-half years ago. And now that I'm on the other side of it, I am thrilled to have a place I can call home again for years and an inviting space to spend quality time with my family and friends.

This whole experience reminded me about the power of clarity, a concept that people often underestimate. Simply put, when you can envision what you want and understand what makes it so important to you, it can give you that extra motivation to just get it done. It can help you rise above the task and connect to the bigger picture. So, if you find yourself procrastinating or stuck on an important goal, ask yourself:

• What's so important about achieving this goal or resolving this issue?

• What would it feel like to achieve it? Describe it in details

• How can I help others understand what this is about for me?

Spending just a few minutes to answer these questions may give you more insight about yourself, allow you to engage others in supporting you, and ultimately motivate you to go for it. Remember, a little bit of clarity can go a long way.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Recharge and Renew

As I think about my own summer and the flurry of activity I see my clients immersed in, I want to give you three simple tips to help you recharge and renew.

1. Notice your mindset

Pay attention to what you tell yourself each day. Everything begins with your mindset. Do your thoughts reflect frustration, fatigue, or positive energy and excitement? If they are more negative, identify a counteracting positive thought you will replace them with – or a small step you will take to shift your perspective.

2. Identify what you can stop doing

Most of us focus more on what we should be doing rather than what we should delegate to others or stop doing altogether. Challenge yourself to identify one change you will make to free up your time or delegate with a team member's development in mind.

3. Take short breaks

Research shows that taking a short break every 90 minutes can help you sustain your energy and productivity throughout the day. Simply get up from your desk, take a walk outside, or get a drink of water. Forcing yourself to plow through without breaks can actually make you less productive, requiring more time to complete your work.

This week, I want to challenge you to take one small step to renew and recharge. Remember that small steps can lead to big results.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Lessons from Nicaragua

In 2013, I took a trip to Nicaragua after a personally challenging month. As we drove to the airport through the rough roads of this beautiful but impoverished country, I thought about my experience. Two things emerged for me that may serve as valuable reminders for you.

1. Attitude

As I reflected about the day-to-day hardships Nicaraguans face, with many living in structures just one notch above what we would consider camping, I was struck by their positive attitudes.

Most people we met took such pride in their vocations, whether it was the small boy on the street making an honest living quickly washing windshields as cars stopped at the red light, or the roving mariachis dressed in nicely pressed pants and long-sleeved shirts in the 90+ degree weather, or the street vendor proudly showcasing his wares as we passed by.

The Nicaraguan culture reminded me about the simple power of a positive comment, an offer to help, or a warm smile. Every day, we get to make choices about how we want to show up. How are you showing up?

2. Gratitude

Spending five days around Nicaraguans who were grateful for the simple pleasures in life reminded me how easy it is to lose perspective when life feels stressful and complicated. A person’s ability to make rational decisions can get vastly diminished by fatigue and emotion, especially when things do not go as expected.

The next time you feel this way, remember the power of gratitude. Challenge yourself to look for the lesson in the tough situation you are drowning in, to give you what you need to stay afloat. Or simply make a list of what is going right or the things for which you are thankful, or express appreciation to others. These quick exercises can give you the energy you need to move forward.

My trip to Nicaragua came at time when I really needed it. But I realized that I didn’t need a trip to keep my perspective in check. Rather, I needed to remember the power of positive thinking on a day-to-day basis. As you know, it all starts with your mindset. If you can successfully shift your thoughts from negative to positive, it can work wonders.

This week, I want to challenge you to take one small step to put the power of attitude or gratitude into play. Remember that small steps can lead to big results.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Speak Up

Ever have one of those days where you feel like a full day has elapsed even before the official work day has really started?

One morning, I rushed to get my son up and ready early so I could drop him off and race to the airport for a flight to Houston. After I made it through security at the airport, I noticed that my flight had been canceled. Apparently I had missed the call from the airline. So, I went to the gate and stood in a long line to see whether I could get on the flight immediately before my scheduled flight, knowing I had a tight schedule of meetings. I knew it was a long shot since the earlier flight had almost finished boarding.

On the counter in front of me was a sign that clearly stated in capital letters “FORM ONE LINE” although there were three flights being served by three different agents in that area. As I stood there, a woman walked right up to one of the agents, bypassing all of us, and requested a seat on the earlier flight. The gate agent didn’t notice she had cut in line because her eyes had been glued to her computer screen. When the passenger first walked up, my first reaction was to think I was confused because no one in the line reacted. So I asked the man in front of me if there was in fact just one line and not three. He confirmed there was only one and confided that he was glad that he would have some time to decompress until the next flight. He was not in a hurry.

At that point, I felt like it was too late for me to walk up to the passenger and say something. And my sense was that she was completely clueless – she was in her own world and didn’t even notice the sign let alone the potential impact she had on the rest of us.

By the time I got to the front of the line, the agent informed me that the last seat had just been taken. At that point, I expressed my frustration about the woman who had cut in line, to which the agent responded, “Next time speak up!” In that moment, I realized that I alone had made the choice that would affect the rest of my day. If I had said something, that seat would have been mine. I could have arrived early, but because I held my tongue, I had to cancel my first meeting and knew I would be racing to the next one once I arrived in Houston.

I guess I could have blamed the airline and the passenger for how my day would unfold, but I’m not sure what good it would have done me or anyone else. It was far more empowering to realize that I just need to use my voice and make a different choice next time.

So, when you find yourself standing there holding your tongue and feeling frustrated (whether it’s in a meeting, on a call, or at the airport) speak up. Remember that people are often distracted or just don’t realize the impact of their actions on others.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Forge Ahead

This week, I’d like to express my gratitude to my father who played a big role in making me the person I am today.  He lost his battle with pulmonary fibrosis this Tuesday night after a difficult ten days. One of the most important lessons I learned from him was to never give up in the face of challenges that seemed insurmountable. Although he may not have fully realized it, throughout his life his actions taught me to always look for a solution first.   I saw him step forward with courage making big decisions that changed our lives forever.  He may have expressed more than his fair share of frustration about the circumstances at hand, but at the end of the day he was willing to make tough choices with the unwavering strength and support of my mother.

With my father showing me that he could do whatever he put his mind to, and my mother constantly telling me that I could as well; I have been armed with an amazing gift – one that allows me to forge ahead no matter what, and to believe that I can.

This week, in honor of my father, I want to challenge you to think about two things. First, consider the messages you send to others on a daily basis – whether it’s to your loved ones or co-workers. I assure you they are watching and learning. Remember you are always in the invisible spotlight.  You have so much to offer, so be purposeful about sharing the best of who you are.  Really think about how you want to show up in every interaction. Second, the next time you find yourself complaining over and over about a particular situation, challenge yourself to step out and do something different – perhaps something bold – to address it. One person does have the ability to make a big difference, one small step at a time…so forge ahead.

Pause, Reflect, Give Thanks

In the flurry of day-to-day life, we can easily overlook what’s right in front of us – valuable lessons we’ve learned, people who have touched our lives and opportunities to express gratitude. So, take a moment to consider the following questions:

1. How have you been “tested” this year?

Although it might not have felt like a “gift”, what value did you get from the experience?

2. Who has given you the most support and guidance?

How will you help them understand the difference they’ve made?

3. Whose performance and contributions do you want to recognize?

How and when?

I hope you will take time this week to answer at least one of these questions and give thanks. Gratitude can be a huge source of energy – for you and the person receiving it.

© 2012 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.