Add Some Zen to Your Leadership Style

These days, it might feel like the only certain thing in our lives is uncertainty. In this atmosphere, how you show up as a leader can make all the difference for your team.  

I’m coaching a couple of leaders who excel in showing up in a calm, positive way. Very Zen indeed. Their presence works wonders to help ground and center others. I’ve seen it in action, and it’s powerful. It not only benefits their organizations, but also differentiates them as leaders.

Image by Schäferle from Pixabay

So, I want to do my part to help you notice how you are showing up. Your presence as a leader matters even more right now in the midst of work environments full of stress and change.

Take a quick look at the list below and rate yourself from 1 (for things you never or almost never do) to 10 (for the things you always or almost always do).

_____ My tone of voice reflects positive energy.

_____ The pace of my speech is evenly paced and calm.

_____ I take a moment to personally connect with others before discussing the topic at hand.

_____ I let others finish speaking without interrupting.

_____ When I respond, my response reflects that I heard what the other person said.

_____ I am fully engaged and present during in-person or virtual meetings; I don’t multi-task.

_____ I notice the stress level of others around me and adjust my style accordingly.

_____ I thank others and recognize them for their contributions.

Now that you’ve assessed how you’re doing, identify one area to prioritize for the next week. For example, to minimize distractions during meetings you might turn off email and instant message notifications. If you need to look at something urgent on your device during a meeting, consider letting other attendees know. (“It looks like Greg just emailed me the report we were waiting for, so I have to take a quick look.”)

To help you address any root causes that keep you from feeling grounded and centered, take a look at some of my past blog articles below. After all, it’s a lot easier to exude calm and Zen when you feel calm yourself!

• How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

• Maintaining Focus in the Midst of Chaos

• Crazy Day? Here’s How to Get Centered

• How to Overcome Negative Feelings

• 4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over

And if you’re ready to take the next steps in building your leadership presence, I invite you to consider executive coaching with me or explore my self-paced tools, including the award-winning New Lens app.

How to Focus on Your Well-Being in 2022

Before your schedule fills back up again after the holidays, it’s a good time to check in on your well-being. If you’re a regular reader, you know that I’ve always taught that the quality of your leadership (i.e., how you “show up”) depends on your physical and mental well-being.  In demanding times like these, that’s even more true. 

In the current environment, self-care is a critical strategy rather than something to get to when you have a spare moment. You and I both know that those spare moments may never come. So how can you start the year with a focus on you and your well-being?

3 Questions to Ask Yourself

First, let’s get a sense of how you’re doing right now. Life often gets so busy that we lose sight of this. This is why it helps to reflect before you take action.

1. How would you rate your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 is high)?

2. What one or two derailing behaviors do you want to eliminate from your daily routine? 

3. What are one or two simple changes you can make right now to support your well-being in 2022? Keep in mind the strategies that energize you and have already proven effective.

How I’m Making Shifts

To help you think about these questions, I want to share what answering them brought up for me.

I know from experience that I’m happier and more productive when I go to bed on time and exercise or meditate first thing in the morning. Leading up to the holidays, I had let this personal best practice fall by the wayside. I had gotten into the habit of working too late and then staying up even later doing something to decompress, like watching TV. Instead of jumping out of bed well-rested, I started hitting the snooze button each morning. This put a damper on my energy level. On top of that, I got drawn into reading the depressing news notifications on my phone when I finally woke up.

As I start off this year, I’m being much more intentional about my sleeping and waking habits. I have set more realistic expectations for myself, especially when I know I’ll be really busy, and have let go of all-or-nothing thinking. If I can’t do a full workout in the morning, a 10-minute walk or run still has benefits. I’ve adjusted the notifications on my phone and read the news when it’s less likely to affect my mindset. 

Another way I support my well-being is by proactively managing my calendar. This is a work-in-progress. I’ve been experimenting with blocking out time on my calendar for different kinds of work and then evaluating whether I used those blocks as planned. Over the past six months, I’ve tweaked my system three times to align with when I have the most energy, my clients’ needs, and the work I actually need to get done. 

What Steps Can You Commit to?

As you think about how to better support your own well-being, remember that it’s not about perfection or having everything all figured out before you take action. It is a process of continuous improvement. Commit to just one or two small changes right now and then see how they affect your energy and well-being. Use what you learn to help you continue to refine your approach. And remember that small steps lead to big results.

If you’re looking for even more actionable strategies to start your year on the right foot, check out my award-winning New Lens app. It features bite-size lessons like the ones in this article that you can quickly absorb and apply.

Is Self-Care Really Selfish?

I have to give my sister credit for inspiring this article. She wrote a book on successful working women, the challenges they face in making marriage work, and how to overcome them. As we talked about common themes that we see in our respective worlds working with high-performing women, we talked about the difficulty women have with the concept of self-care.

We discussed that women often confuse self-care with selfishness. A woman may think, “How could I possibly take time for me right now when there’s so much to do and others rely on me?” In this view of the world, self-care is a luxury, a “nice-to-have.”

A man, on the other hand, knows that self-care allows him to keep going so he can provide the support others need from him. In this view of the world, self-care is a “must have” that provides energy. That doesn’t mean a man will put himself first no matter what. However, he is much less likely to confuse self-care with selfishness.

At the end of the day, what we’re talking about is energy management. Resist the temptation to keep giving and giving without taking enough time to renew your own energy. As you may know from firsthand experience, it can lead to burnout or resentment pretty quickly.

Think about what you will do for yourself this week to give yourself that essential energy you need to stay productive and avoid burnout. Here are some ideas.

1. Say no to something you really don’t want to do.

Whether it’s a personal or professional request, resist the temptation to say yes to something you don’t want to do — and know you shouldn’t be doing. If you feel guilty about saying no, you can always help the person find another resource to help. Remember that this task could be a good developmental opportunity or exposure for someone else.

2. Get exercise without putting any judgment around it.

You might just have 15 minutes to exercise, so adopt the mindset that 15 minutes is better than nothing. If exercise gives you energy, make the most of whatever time you have by taking a quick walk, going for a short run, grabbing some dumbbells, or doing a few pushups and crunches.

3. Give yourself time to decompress before you walk into the house.

Take time to transition out of work mode, so you can leave work stress at the office. Do something to deliberately make that shift, whether you sit in the car for a few minutes to get the solitude you need before you immerse yourself into a house full of children, or just don’t take that conference call on the drive home.

If you regularly put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, identify one step you will take this week to take care of yourself — so you can be there for others. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish.