Can Coaching Really Make a Difference?

Are you intrigued by the thought of working with a coach, but skeptical about whether it can really make a difference? I know I was the first time I had an executive coach. At the time, I worked at Deloitte, one of the largest professional services firms in the world. The organization was in flux (so politics were running high) and my new leadership role was stretching me in ways I hadn't anticipated. Recognizing this, my firm invested in my success by offering me an executive coach. Although I wasn't sure what to expect, I jumped at the chance. I can tell you that I have participated in many training classes and leadership development programs over the years (and even designed some myself), but none could have taken the place of a coach - an objective third party with an approach tailored to my needs and goals.

Consistent with what my clients tell me, one of the most valuable aspects of the coaching was having dedicated time to reflect and to be much more strategic about my choices and business results. Like many professionals who work with coaches, deep down I already knew what I needed to do to achieve my goals. It was just taking me longer to see it, because I was getting caught up in the whirlwind and stress of each day. So, I remember being really surprised by how even as little as 30-45 minutes of coaching twice a month helped me get clarity and accelerated my results.

Another key piece was selecting the right coach, someone who I could really open up to and trust. After defining my criteria, I reviewed three bios and talked to two coaches before deciding. I chose my coach not only for her coaching credentials and business experience but also because of the personality fit - which is SO IMPORTANT. Our coaching relationship truly was a partnership, where she brought the coaching expertise and process and I brought the expertise about me, my situation, and goals. Together we turned that into insight, action, and results over a six-month period. Had she just told me what to do, rather than help ME discover my own answers through thought-provoking questions, I would have lost most of the value of the coaching.

Finally, the most important ingredient was my own commitment - to defining clear goals for the coaching, making time for coaching, being open to different perspectives, and turning the insight I gained with the help of my coach into action. Without that, IT JUST WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED.

So, I can honestly say that coaching made a huge difference in my career by helping me see my blind spots, make change more quickly and take my performance to the next level. It ultimately helped set the stage for my next leadership role.

I have no doubt that coaching can do the same for you if you set it up for success - by selecting the right coach, setting concrete goals for the coaching, co-designing a partnership between you and your coach, and committing to making the most of the coaching process.

Get the Results You Want

It's that time again when we ask ourselves, "What do I want to accomplish this year?" Some of us write New Year's resolutions, many which never come to fruition. We may start out with a lot of energy and excitement, but don't recognize how we set ourselves up for failure. Read on for tips to help you get better results this year - in how you write goals and your approach to achieving them.

1. Unbundle and be specific

Let me take an example of Judy who sets a goal to get 20 new clients this year. We all know that she won't find all of these clients immediately and it may take a while to meet her goal. So, first she needs to unbundle her large goal into its component parts. For example, revising her goal to get 5 new clients by the end of each quarter will still allow Judy to meet her overall goal but breaks her goal into manageable pieces. She will also know when she's achieved her goal because it is measurable and time-bound with specific interim milestones.

2. Identify what makes it so important

Judy should also think about what makes this goal so important to her. Perhaps, it's about feeling good about herself, making more money, or getting promoted. Whatever it is, reminding herself of the underlying reason will motivate her - especially when she feels stuck. Often, having a visual reminder (e.g., a note in a visible place, a screensaver) or someone who periodically reminds Judy of the importance of her goal can be very powerful.

3. Think about what it will really take

Is Judy's goal realistic and attainable for her? What will it really take to meet her goal and what obstacles might get in her way? For example, does she need support from someone who is more skilled in developing new business? How should Judy prioritize her time and leverage her team so she can focus more on sales? Does she have the budget she needs? Answering these questions as she's formulating her goals and developing supporting strategies will help Judy be more successful.

4. Assess and Adjust

Periodically, Judy should assess what's working and what's not and make adjustments to her approach. For example, if she's not spending enough time on developing new business, what's getting in her way? What does she need to change about her strategy? She should schedule checkpoints often enough that she can make adjustments before it is too late to meet her goal.

So, I challenge you to try these tips in 2010. I have no doubt that you will get better results. Who knows, maybe this will be the first year you follow through on your resolutions!

Is the Economy Taking a Toll on Your Career Plans?

The economy is taking a toll on finances, but does it have to take a toll on your job satisfaction? I have talked to so many people who want to make a change in their careers or jobs or switch companies, but are "staying put" until the economy improves. It's reasonable to expect that a major economic downturn would make anyone think twice about their timing; even more so if they are telling themselves:

"I just have to stick it out. I should feel lucky to have a job." "It's too risky to make a change right now." "I'd be crazy to do something now. After all, I am still getting a decent paycheck."

In this situation, there are two very important elements at odds with each other: the need for financial security and the need for more job satisfaction or fulfillment. This might lead someone to feel like they are trapped in a no-win situation. If you are in this predicament, here are three steps to help you work through it:

1. Assess your mindset

Are you starting each day with dread or some other draining negative feeling? If so, how could you start it in a way that would give you a more positive mindset? What energizing activities could you incorporate into your day whether it's exercising, having lunch with someone whose company you enjoy, or something else that's worked well for you in the past? Just remember that these don't have to be time consuming activities (e.g., reading something funny or inspirational), but they should energize you and make you feel more positive.

2. Focus on what you CAN do

Although there are many things beyond our control, we often overlook what we can do to improve our own situations. Start by identifying one or two things that would make working in your current role or company more satisfying. For example, you could volunteer for a project in an area you find exciting. These don't have to be huge changes, but should be changes in a direction that is important to you. What would it take to make those things happen? If you are not sure where to start, find someone who could help you brainstorm. Focusing on these things will make you feel more positive and empowered.

3. Take steps towards what you really want to do

Identify steps you can take right now that will make it easier for you to make a transition when you are ready to make a change. They don't have to be big or risky steps, but they do need to help you make progress towards what you really want. For example, you might focus on increasing your visibility internally in the company, networking with people who work in areas in which you have an interest, or saving more money.

We all know that the need for safety and security are essential, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of being miserable day-to-day. Small steps combined with even a small shift in your mindset can make a big difference.

Can Others Really Read Your Mind?

When you are a high performer and working in a fast-paced environment, it's easy to fall into the trap of "moving too fast." Because you have already thought through the issue at hand and the best way to address it, you might inadvertently leave out some important information in your communication - because YOU KNOW what you mean and how you got there. But the person on the receiving end may need clarification about your conclusion, assumptions and supporting data. They can't read your mind. Let me give you a really simple example. The other day I coached someone through her frustration about her relationship with her board. She couldn't understand why her board wouldn't step up to help her with fundraising. Her board chair explained what he needed from her to give her more support, and she responded by saying she needed something else. So, her board chair left with the distinct impression that she disagreed with his request, when in fact she agreed with most of what he asked for. However, she never said she agreed with him. Instead, she skipped over that important statement because she knew what she was thinking - and quickly moved on to her own ideas.

Had she said, "I agree and to build on that, I also think we need....," it would have shifted the entire interaction. This broken pattern of communication had been playing out between the two of them time and again, leaving both of them frustrated.

I am also working with another talented leader whose good intentions are often misunderstood. His team observes his actions, and draws their own conclusions about what they think his actions demonstrate. When I interviewed his direct reports to get feedback about his effectiveness as a leader, the gap between what he intends and what they take away from his actions became crystal clear.

So, what should you do to remove mind-reading from the equation? Here are three tips to get you started:

1. Remember that each person has their own filter

People typically filter through information and draw conclusions based on their life experiences and their relationship with you. So, take time to think about the other person's perspective and they might interpret your actions, especially if they have a strong opinion about you. Often, people are evaluating each of your actions against their hypotheses or conclusions - to validate what they believe.

2. Notice people's reactions

Notice how your actions and words are "landing" on others. Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, energy level, and other reactions. What did they say in response? Really listen, instead of focusing on how you will respond. You may start to notice patterns and clues about how they interpreted your actions.

3. Be more transparent

Think about the one or two things you want others to know, to put your specific action, decision or behavior in the right context. Be careful not to get into too much detail, so they can hear your key messages or headlines. Remember that just because YOU KNOW what you are talking about and what you mean, it doesn't mean that others will!!

By making slight tweaks to make your thoughts and intentions more transparent, you can vastly improve communications and relationships...and we can all get out of the business of mind-reading.

Making the Most of Transition

Over the years, I have worked with many individuals and organizations to help them transition through major changes - even more so in this economic climate. So, whether you're personally dealing with change or leading your organization through change, this article has tips to help you work through it more effectively. William Bridges, author of bestseller Managing Transitions - Making the Most of Change, has a simple but powerful way of framing change and understanding what it really takes to make transition happen. He distinguishes change from transition, explaining that change is situational and external (e.g., getting a new boss, role, etc.) while transition is internal and refers to "the psychological process that people go through to come to terms with their new situation."

So, why does this distinction really matter? Most of the time, when we talk about change, we focus on the ultimate outcome or result of the change (e.g., 20% cost reduction). Bridges argues that what enables the outcome is transition. Take a look at the overview of his three-step model below to understand how to put this concept into play:

Step 1: Recognize that transition starts with an ending

Every transition starts with an ending, so the first step is to really understand what you have to let go of as a result of the change. In other words, what is "the ending you will have to make to leave the old situation behind?" For example, even something positive like a promotion may mean leaving behind a peer group, a strong sense of security about your ability to do your job, or a work schedule you really enjoyed.

The same concept applies for organizational change. Use the following questions to help you identify who's losing what:

• What is actually going to change? Be really specific.

• What may be the ripple effects of the change?

• Who will have to let go of something as a result of these changes?

• What is ending for everyone?

Step 2: Understand the neutral zone

The second step is to understand the neutral zone, "the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new." Bridges explains that the neutral zone can be a place where we see tremendous creativity, innovation and revitalization. However, it can also feel confusing, discouraging or chaotic - making people want to escape it entirely. This is why we often see an increase in turnover in major organizational changes. The key is to recognize that the neutral zone has its place and is where old habits start getting replaced with new ones, setting the stage for a new beginning.

Step 3: Make a new beginning

The last step is to make a new beginning. New beginnings are what most companies emphasize when they make changes, often failing to recognize the existence and importance of the two steps above.

So, if you take away just one thing from this article, remember that every transition starts with an ending. Recognizing this will go a long way in helping you navigate through your own transitions and leading others through theirs.

Looking from the Outside In

I remember the first time I worked with an executive coach when I was a Director at Deloitte. It was truly eye-opening. People who know me well know that I'm a self-help book junkie and my own worst critic. However, when you're in the thick of the day-to- day pressures and demands there are some things that you just can't "see" on your own. It usually has nothing to do with your intelligence, but has more to do with whether you can find ways to "look at the situation from the outside in." Let me give you an example of a recent client, Suzy, a leader frustrated about an employee's subpar performance. She was convinced he had potential and was trying to figure out how to help him improve. I asked Suzy to explain in detail how she was working with this particular person. As we got deeper into the conversation, she shared that she was giving him recommendations, checking in with him daily, and personally investing a lot of her time. Nonetheless, she saw no notable change in his performance.

I asked whether she thought he had the intellectual horsepower and capacity to do the job, and Suzy immediately said, "Yes." Hearing this, I realized that Suzy may have some blind spots about the situation. So, I asked her a series of questions to help her "look at the situation from the outside in." These questions might come in handy the next time you find yourself in a perplexing situation:

1. What is your underlying intent in this situation?

"I want to keep this employee in the company. His technical skills and knowledge are valuable and hard to replace, and he has potential. I want to help him in any way that I can."

2. What is at stake?

"I'm relatively new in my role. If this fails, I will be viewed as a failure. It will take forever to find a good replacement. I have to make this work."

3. What messages are you sending through your words and actions, regardless of your intent?

Words - "I am willing to invest my time to help you improve. I am concerned about your performance but think you have potential. I want to keep you in this company."

Actions - "Daily meetings with him and sometimes his team, offering numerous recommendations, dedicating hours of my time to him each week despite other priorities."

Messages Conveyed by these Actions - "I don't trust you, so I need to look over your shoulder every day. I don't think you can do the job, so I'm going to do it for you. My way is the best way, so this is how you should do it."

4. If roles were reversed, how would you feel in this situation?

"Incompetent, embarrassed, like I'm about to be fired and should be looking for another job."

By answering these questions, Suzy realized the pressure she felt and how she was sabotaging her own efforts to improve her employee's performance. So, we took her insight and came up with a different approach - one that engaged her employee in the solution without micromanaging him. I'm pleased to say that she is finally seeing that potential turn into performance.

So, keep these four questions handy and find someone to help you objectively look at your situation "from the outside in."

Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman

I just read Play Like A Man, Win Like a Woman by Gail Evans, a senior executive at CNN. Because I specialize in working with high achieving women, the challenges she highlighted were all too familiar. I thought I'd share four pieces of advice that may be a valuable reminder to both men and women.

1. Ask for What You Want

Time and again, I coach women who are reluctant to ask for the raise, promotion, or assignment that they want. I recently interviewed a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company who remembers to this day how she got passed over for a promotion because her boss had no idea of her interest in the position (or the extent of her qualifications). Sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that the boss already knows, or we might simply be afraid of rejection. After her painful lesson, she made sure that key stakeholders understood her capabilities and career goals. A few months later, a similar position opened up and she got the promotion. When you really want something, don't hint. Ask for what you want.

2. Toot Your Own Horn

I give presentations on this topic all the time, and I know that many women fall into the trap of thinking that their good work will speak for itself. Well, I'm here to tell you that in this 24/7 world, most people are just too busy to notice all the ways that you are contributing. So, it's important to proactively provide snapshots of your performance, in a way that works for you. Women often wrestle with how to tastefully self-promote (i.e., without seeming like they are bragging). One simple idea is to send your boss a concise email every week to let him/her know about your progress on an important project or what your team is doing. When you think about self-promotion as sharing important information, it's much easier to do it.

3. Sit at the Table

Imagine if you were in a situation where your boss has called a meeting, and there are fewer chairs at the table than the number of participants. However, there are other chairs along the wall. Would you take a seat at the table or would you offer it to someone else? The author, Gail Evans, asserts that women often sit in one of the peripheral chairs because they think "the table is for the boss, key people or those who would be disgruntled sitting anywhere else." Remember that if you want to be considered a key player, take a seat at the table.

4. Speak Out

Have you ever been in a meeting that you're well prepared for, but you just don't speak up because there's something you lack information about? Meanwhile, the man sitting next to you confidently shares his ideas and perspective although he doesn't have all the facts. Just remember that if you don't talk, no one will know that you're really there. So, before each meeting take a few minutes to think about what you will say, even if it's asking a thought-provoking question.

I'll leave you with the final thought from this book: remember to be yourself. Women can build genuine, lasting relationships by allowing the natural, nurturing side of themselves to be available. This can be a real advantage in the workplace.

Are You Doing the Right Work?

Time is a precious resource that we just can't get back, so use it wisely. Time management strategies can help, but yield minimal results if you aren't focusing on the "right work" - areas where you can have the biggest impact on the business.  Here are three simple steps to help you focus your efforts:  

Step 1: Determine your "Big 3" - the three critical areas where you can make the biggest business impact this year

As you define your Big 3, also think about what your boss would say should be your Big 3. If your boss hasn't clearly stated what is most critical, there are usually clues in his/her actions or behavior. If you're unsure, take the mystery out of the equation and get clarity through a conversation. A common definition of the "right work" will ultimately shape how you and your boss define and measure YOUR success.  

Step 2: Understand the gap in how you spend your time

After you've identified your Big 3, draw a pie chart. Determine how many work hours your pie represents over a one-week period (e.g., 40 hours, 50 hours, etc.). Then, carve your pie into slices that represent major areas of your work (e.g., getting new clients, developing your team, etc.), with the size of each slice indicating the percentage of hours you SHOULD spend on that area each week. For example, if you should spend 50% of your time on getting new clients, that slice would be half of the pie. Be sure to include your Big 3 as separate slices in this pie.   Then, compare this pie chart to one that shows how you ACTUALLY spend your time.  You can do this by tracking your time for a week, noting your activities in increments of 30 minutes, and then summarizing how much time you dedicated to the Big 3. If it's easier, review your calendar for a recent week that represents how you typically spend your time.   It's up to you how specific you want to get, but the ultimate goal is to recognize the gap between what you should be doing and what you are doing.  

Step 3: Develop strategies to redirect

If you reach the conclusion that you need to shift your focus, figure out what's getting in the way today. Is it perfectionism, too many distractions, or just that you weren't clear on the Big 3? Whatever it is, determine 1-2 strategies you can start implementing tomorrow to help redirect you. Often starting small with just a couple of strategies can start building the momentum you need to achieve big change.   Just remember that when you say "yes" to too much time on less critical areas, you are saying "no" to the "right work" - and your potential impact on the business!!