Are You in the Moment?

“What was I thinking when I agreed to do all this stuff?”  

My client definitely had a lot going on, and she was pouring out her stress about all of it to me. From her point of view, the perfect storm was heading her way. Besides some major projects converging at work, she was dealing with her spouse’s transition to a new job, some unanticipated travel and volunteer duties, among other things.

She couldn’t help but fast forward beyond her current worries to other challenges she feared would come up in the future. On top of that, perfectionist tendencies were in the mix. She was determined to meet her own high expectations through all of this without letting any of the many balls she had in the air drop.

My advice to her? Take a few deep breaths and focus on what is right in front of you. Staying in the present moment can help relieve the pressure. When you feel overwhelmed and your mind starts racing through the laundry list of work ahead of you, you can become paralyzed. You can lose touch with your ability to generate creative solutions or notice how others can help.   Instead you may focus on frustration, negativity, or the obstacles ahead.

By returning to the here and now, you can create the mental capacity you need to deal with what’s happening. The next time you find yourself overwhelmed by what’s on your plate, ask yourself, “What is the first step I need to take?”  A simple question like this can take help you get the ball rolling.

For some of you, that first step should be to help you relieve your stress so you can take action. In other words, you may need to get centered or grounded before you try to do anything else. Some of you may want to start directly tackling the issues at hand, so your first step could be to simply block time on your calendar to develop a plan of attack.  Once you have completed the first step, define the next. By making it manageable, you will build the momentum you need to get unstuck and start making noticeable progress.

So, the next time you find yourself worrying about the future, take a deep breath and bring yourself back to the present moment.

The Women Who Personally Inspired You

I took a moment today to reflect on the women in my personal history who have had a major impact on my career success. Many of us have known a special person who helped them achieve a goal, tackle a challenge or find the confidence needed to take a leap of faith. Whether that person was a relative, a teacher, first boss or important colleague, I encourage you to look back and remember what they did. And ask yourself how they impacted your life and whether they still inspire you today. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor recently authored a book entitled “My Beloved World,” her 2010 autobiography about growing up in the Bronx, the daughter of poor immigrant Puerto Rican parents. Justice Sotomayor shares in her book that it was important to “find someone in your life who unconditionally loves you.”  Her grandmother was that person for her.

In my own life, my mother has been that person. She instilled in me the belief that I can do anything, an unwavering sense of confidence that if I work hard I will succeed. As a child, I completely underestimated the importance of this. But, as a parent and adult – and someone who coaches high performers – I realize how much difference this can make in a person’s ability to forge ahead into the unknown, take a risk, and pursue their passion.  I often see unbelievably talented individuals doubting themselves and holding back from taking steps towards the lives that they really want.  Trust me, I still have moments of doubt but I can also still hear my mother’s words of encouragement.  And those words ultimately overpower any hesitation or fear I might feel.

My mother’s gift is one for which I will forever be grateful. What special gift has someone given you? Take a few minutes today to think about it, and then acknowledge her with gratitude.

Photo Credit: Sonia Sotomayor

Focus on What Gives You Energy – Donna Epps, Partner at Deloitte Financial Advisory Services LLP

As part of our Texas Women in Business sponsorship on WBAP/KLIF, we asked Donna Epps to share her insights.  Donna is a partner in the Deloitte Forensic practice of Deloitte Financial Advisory Services LLP, the national leader of the Anti-Fraud Consulting group, and Co-Leader of Deloitte’s Governance, Risk and Compliance practice.

When it comes to navigating a complex and dynamic business world, Donna understands the importance of focus and energy.  During her more than 26 years in public accounting and professional services, she has audited public and private companies, and has led examinations of regulatory compliance at the state and federal level for certain communications companies. She has worked with the management of multinational public companies in complex, multiyear restatements of financial statements. She has also provided merger and acquisition-related services, and dispute services, particularly in the areas of purchase price and other accounting-related disputes. Donna also assists clients in corporate investigations, with a focus on SEC and accounting-related matters.

In her current role, Donna focuses on helping companies develop and implement proactive enterprise risk and compliance programs. With a focus on value protection and creation, these programs incorporate strategic, operational, compliance and financial risk.

Donna shared her thoughts on success and the future of women in business. I hope these comments resonate with you as well.

Q. What has contributed to your successful career?

I have been lucky to have several mentors and sponsors throughout my career who have provided guidance and support. Throughout my various roles, these people have greatly contributed to any success I’ve had so far. Don’t underestimate the importance of having the right people in your corner to help you.

Q.  What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business? 

Women should focus on the things that give them energy and make them want to get to work every day.  Knowing that some of these areas may not play to her strengths, she should build her team to complement her skills and experience.  She should also consider working for organizations that will invest in her development, providing strong training programs throughout her career.  Finally, women need support, in their personal and professional environments, to bring the right balance as needed. This will help them maintain energy over time.

Q. How does the future look for women leaders?

The outlook for women in business is strong, with many current opportunities for women. Keep your focus, find energy every day and seek out firms that are invested in your future.

To learn more about how to give yourself an energy boost, read the chapter in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. entitled How Well Do You Manage Your Energy available on Amazon.

The Balancing Act Between Teaching and Solving

Has this ever happened to you? One of your team members comes to you to talk about how to deal with an issue. But by the end of the conversation, you find that somehow the issue has become yours to solve. In a situation like this, you’re typically faced with balancing the need to solve the problem quickly and using it as an opportunity to build your team member’s capabilities.

When leaders feel significant time pressure or stress, they may intervene in their team’s problems more often than they should. What typically happens to you? When someone approaches you with an issue, how often do you dive right in and take action? How often do you start by asking questions to help the team member resolve the issue himself?

If your inclination is to jump into problem-solving mode, consider asking your team member the following questions first:

• “What’s most important to you about the issue?”

• “What problem are you really trying to solve?”

• “What have you tried already, and what did you learn from that?”

• “What would you like me to do in this situation?”

That last one is especially important: Get to the heart of what someone is truly asking before taking action. Does your team member just need you to listen, does she need your help brainstorming or would she like you to remove an obstacle to her progress? Don’t make assumptions.

Finally, pay attention to who owns implementation of the solution before you have finished the conversation. In some instances, you may want to take over due to the nature of the issue and sensitivity of the situation. However, challenge yourself to consider how you can help the individual be successful in resolving it himself or with the support of others.

This week, notice how you respond when your team approaches you with problems. Pay attention to your patterns and look for ways to guide your team to resolve more on their own. By keeping your priorities and your team’s development front and center, you will accomplish far more in the long run – by building a stronger team and strategically focusing your energy and effort.

Leaving Your Mark and Saluting Women Who Paved the Way

During Women’s History month, we are honoring women who made a difference. Below are stories of 10 women whom some would call the “mothers” of American business. Remarkable women who shaped our country’s business history beginning as early as the 1700s. Eliza Lucas Pinckney, 1722-1793 Charleston, SC Business: Agriculture

At 16 years old, Eliza Lucas Pinckney unintentionally became a businesswoman. After the death of her mother, Eliza ran her family’s three South Carolina plantations and cared for her younger siblings while her father, a British military officer, was stationed in the Caribbean. Her father sent a few indigo seeds from Antiqua and she planted them as an experiment.  Because of Eliza’s experiment and burgeoning business prowess, indigo became the second-largest crop in the state — South Carolina exported 134,000 pounds of indigo in 1748 — until the rise of cotton.

Mary Katherine Goddard, 1738-1816 Baltimore, MD Business: Journalism/Publishing

Mary Katherine Goddard got her start in publishing by working at her brother’s print shop in Rhode Island. She advanced quickly, publishing the weekly Providence Gazette,  followed by a stint in Philadelphia publishing the Pennsylvania Chronicle. In 1774, her brother’s printing business took her to yet another city –Baltimore – where she ran Baltimore’s first newspaper, The Maryland Journal. She was responsible for the first printed copy of the Declaration of Independence, and was the only printer in the city during the Revolutionary War.

Rebecca Pennock Lukens, 1794-1854 Brandywine Valley, PA Business: Iron and Steel

In 1825, the widow Rebecca Pennock Lukens was pregnant with her sixth child when she purchased the remaining interest in her late father’s struggling business, Brandywine Iron & Nail. Less than 10 years later, it was thriving under her leadership. Lukens successfully steered her company through the national financial crisis known as the “Panic of 1837.” More than 30 years after her death, Brandywine Iron & Nail became the publicly traded Lukens Iron & Steel, until it was purchased by Bethlehem Steel in 1998. In 1994, Fortune posthumously crowned Lukens “America’s first female CEO of an industrial company” and named her to the National Business Hall of Fame.

Bridget ‘Biddy’ Mason, 1818-1891 Los Angeles, CA Business: Real Estate

Born into slavery in Mississippi, Biddy Mason grew up to be a successful real estate developer and human-rights champion. A decade after winning freedom for herself and her three daughters, Biddy became one of the first black women to own land when she purchased commercial property in what is now the heart of downtown Los Angeles for $250. She turned her initial investment into a small real estate empire worth about $300,000 in 1884.

Jane Addams, 1860-1935 Chicago, IL Business: Nonprofits

Jane Addams founded Hull House, the first settlement house in the US as an educational and cultural community for immigrant women. This effort, along with other philanthropic efforts and social activism, earned her (along with Nicholas Murray Butler) a Nobel Peace Prize in 1931.

Catherine Anselm ‘Kate’ Gleason, 1865-1933 Rochester, NY Business: Engineering/Banking/Construction

At the age of 11, Kate Gleason began working for her father at the family machine-tool company Gleason Works. She coupled her interest in mechanical engineering and mechanical arts and helped design a revolutionary machine that efficiently and inexpensively produced beveled gears. She continued with the company for many years, expanding Gleason’s services internationally. Gleason temporarily became the first female president of the First National Bank of Rochester when its president joined the military during World War I. After the war, she invented a new method of pouring concrete, enabling low-cost concrete houses which became the model for suburban developments.

Elizabeth Arden, 1884-1966 New York, NY Business: Cosmetics

Florence Nightingale Graham changed her name, and the future of beauty. She started as a shop assistant, then a partner in a beauty salon before opening her first salon in 1909 under the name Elizabeth Arden.  Arden delved into chemistry, designing, developing and manufacturing her own beauty products. In 1914 she incorporated and expanded internationally with a salon opening in France in 1922. There are now Elizabeth Arden Red Door spas throughout the U.S., Europe, Australia and South America.

Mary Kay Ash, 1918-2001 Hot Wells, TX Business: Cosmetics/Direct Sales

Following a few rocky positions, and a failed advice book, Mary Kay Ash developed a business plan that then morphed into Mary Kay Cosmetics. At the age of 63, with $5,000 in seed money and the help of her son Richard, Ash started her new business with the intent to empower women and make their lives more beautiful. Her direct-sales cosmetics company grew into a multimillion-dollar conglomerate with nearly 2 million independent beauty consultants across the globe.

Katharine Meyer Graham, 1917-2001 Washington, D.C. Business: Mass Media

Katharine Meyer Graham’s involvement with The Washington Post has had many twists and turns.  In 1933, her multimillionaire father purchased The Washington Post at a bankruptcy auction. Graham began working for the Post in the late 1930s and married Philip Graham in 1940. When her father died, he bequeathed the Post to his son-in-law Phillip. But Phillip was plagued with personal problems and committed suicide in 1963. Graham gained leadership and chaired the board of directors from 1973 through 1991. Under her leadership, the Post received a Pulitzer Prize for Public Service for its coverage of Watergate.

Juanita Morris Kreps, 1921-2010 Durham, NC Business: Economics

Growing up during the Depression, Juanita Morris Kreps advocated for flexible work schedules, public preschools and equal pay. She was the first woman U.S. Secretary of Commerce — only the fourth woman in history to hold a Cabinet position.  Krebs served as a director at the New York Stock Exchange, Eastman Kodak and J.C. Penney. Combining her business expertise and passion for the advancement of professional women, Krebs wrote the influential 1971 book, Sex in the Marketplace: American Women at Work, as well as a study called Sex, Age, and Work: The Changing Composition of the Labor Force.

After reading about these amazing women, how will you leave your mark? Check out the chapter Keeping Your Passion Front and Center in my book, Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., for practical strategies to help you get the results you want. http://amzn.to/1f9Gqu7

Leave Your Fingerprints – Advice from Nancy Loewe, Senior Vice President and Chief Strategy Officer, Kimberly-Clark Corp.

Newberry Executive Solutions is sponsoring the Texas Women in Business segment, airing on WBAP/KLIF radio in Dallas, Texas.  I asked my colleague Nancy Loewe, Senior Vice President and Chief Strategy Officer for Kimberly-Clark Corp., to participate in the radio segment and she readily agreed.

Nancy leads the development and monitoring of the company's strategic plans and processes to enhance the company’s growth initiatives. In 2011, she joined Kimberly-Clark as treasurer from Frito-Lay North America where she served as chief financial officer. Nancy has more than 20 years of experience in global financial roles of increasing responsibility, including holding CFO positions at GE for consumer and industrial, plastics and healthcare before becoming corporate vice president of strategic transactions and cash.

Throughout her career, Nancy has lived in several countries and has focused on developing global talent across Europe, Asia and North America. Her strong finance, general management and strategy experience brings unique perspective to our businesses in developing new strategic priorities as we expand around the world. Clearly, Nancy has a very successful career and should be applauded for her what she has accomplished.

But just like everyone else, Nancy has had to work her way to the top. She shared some insights about her challenges as well as the future of women in business.

Q. Please tell us what you feel has contributed to your successful career?

A.   For me, the keys to success have been hard work, results and sponsorship – in that order.  I took on tough roles no one else wanted and then focused on demonstrating results within them. In some cases that meant going deep in a certain area or subject.  That ultimately led to sponsors, who I didn't even know were sponsors at the time, taking a chance on me.

Q. How did you overcome a particular challenge in your career?

A. As I changed companies, I didn't initially understand that the rules of the game had changed too.   In other words, I needed to figure out how decisions were made and who needed to be involved.  I had to observe how others got things done, and I learned the critical importance of alignment and relationships.

Q. In your opinion, how does the future look for women leaders in business?

A. The future looks fine.  There has been a generational shift in the workplace. Many men leaders may have had a mom or an aunt who worked, or sisters and wives who have careers, or even daughters already in the workplace. This raises the awareness and acceptance of women in business. It's not a coincidence that companies with more female senior leaders have better employee engagement, and companies with Boards with female directors have better financial results. Women bring valuable skills to the workplace.

Q. What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business?

A. Women I know who have made their mark always leave things better than how they found them. They're not afraid to push the envelope. So I say leave your fingerprints wherever you go. Be known for your unique skill set or the way you get things done.

Nancy offers some excellent words of wisdom. To build on her comments, check out the chapter in my book, Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., entitled Creating the Outcome You Want. It provides strategies that can help high performers with a drive for results to take it one step further.

A Little Bit of Wisdom and Inspiration

March is Women’s History Month, and a great time to draw motivation from the words of inspiring women. These 10 quotes have some real wisdom on leadership. What wisdom would you share with others?

1. A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be. — Rosalynn Carter

2. One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes...and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. — Eleanor Roosevelt

3. "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." — Alice Walker

4. I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." — Helen Keller

5. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

6. An important attribute of success is to be yourself. Never hide what makes you, you. — Indra K. Nooyi, CEO, PepsiCo

7. Never limit yourself because of others' limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination. — Mae Jemison, astronaut

8. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. — Anna Quindlen

9. If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. — Margaret Fuller

10. If you are successful, it is because somewhere, sometime, someone gave you a life or an idea that started you in the right direction. Remember also that you are indebted to life until you help some less fortunate person, just as you were helped. — Melinda Gates

If any of these quotes inspired you, pay it forward by sharing them with others. And take a few minutes to think about one pearl of wisdom you have gained from your own experience.

Celebrate Women's History Month

March is Women’s History Month, and March 8 is International Women’s Day (IWD). I am excited to celebrate IWD tomorrow at the George W. Bush Presidential Center with the Women’s Initiative Program Fellows from Egypt, to hear more about the amazing results they have achieved through the program this past year.  As a faculty member and mentor for the program, it is rewarding to see their energy, confidence, and impact skyrocket throughout the year. Later on Friday, I will have the opportunity to deliver an interactive presentation to a group of women at Accenture’s IWD Celebration about Purpose, Presence, and Power – three areas proven to get results. As you think about Women’s History Month, I urge you to celebrate by thinking about and acknowledging a woman who has impacted your life.

·         What did you learn from her?

·         How has it made a difference in your life?

·         What would you say to her?

Before you move on to the next thing in your day or week, take five minutes to reach out to her, to let her know how she has touched you.

Develop Your Team While Managing Your Energy

One of my clients recently struggled with a leadership dilemma: Her high performers energized her, while the team members who need more development — and thus more of her time — often left her drained. If her situation rings true for you, here are three ideas to help you guide your team’s growth while managing other priorities as well.  

Notice Your Energy On any team, some people will take more of your time and energy. How does spending time with them affect you? And how does it affect the way you engage with the rest of your team? Based on what you notice from your answers to these questions, proactively plan energizing activities or interactions right after draining situations. Remember that the quality of the activity matters more than the quantity of time you spend doing it, so it can be quick.

Express Gratitude Acknowledge and appreciate what each team member is doing right. We often take for granted that people know what’s working and focus our feedback on what should change, but your team needs to hear what they’re doing well so that they know to keep doing it. Be specific. Just saying “You’re doing a good job” doesn’t provide much useful information. And be prompt. Take a minute to pull your team member aside after a meeting or conference call to review what she did well. I also have clients who carve out a few minutes each week to send emails acknowledging good work. Quick tactics like these will give you energy while maximizing your team members’ strengths.

Cultivate the Right Mindset When working with the team members who require more of your energy, go in with a mindset of acceptance: They are who they are. What’s the best way to engage with them? And do you need to set any boundaries? Of course, you’re focused on helping the team member succeed, but also think about what you need in order to participate in a positive way. For example, I have a client who often lets feedback conversations drag on too long. And that has turned into reluctance to initiate this kind of conversation, even when it is important. By simply setting some time limits for these conversations, he changed his whole energy around these interactions.

This week, identify which of these strategies you will put into play. And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

Who’s in Your Corner?

A recent Harvard Business Review article asked the question, “Are you sponsor-worthy?” The article shared the example of an employee who gave “110 percent” but didn’t focus her efforts on people who would invest in her. While her efforts were commended, senior leaders with power and influence were not members of her network of advocates. As a result, she found herself stuck in what she called “permanent lieutenant syndrome.” 

I see this happen often, as many of my clients fall into the trap of thinking their good work is enough.  It often takes people a while to realize that who they know is just as important as the quality of their work.  As they shy away from office politics, they overlook the fact that their relationships give them access to resources, information and influence they need to get things done.  

When was the last time you took a hard look at your own network and assessed it against the areas that drive high performance and high satisfaction? Research shows that the six key dimensions include expertise, personal support, power, purpose, development and balance?  And remember that the quality of your network matters far more than the number of people that you know. At the end of the day, a balanced, high quality network can make a huge difference in your ability to get results and advance, and increase your job satisfaction.  

If this is an area where you could use some help, check out the module in my WOW! Women on the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM.  Entitled “Building a Network of Advocates”, the module offers tools to assess your network against critical dimensions so you understand where you have gaps and know where to focus. It also gives you specific strategies to start making changes today. You can download this module from my website and the complete program when it’s convenient for you.  

Taking time to assess who is in your corner can mean the difference between giving your all for nothing or making sure your efforts are recognized and applauded.

Give Yourself an Ear Worm!

Have you ever heard a song on the radio in the morning that stuck with you throughout the day? Some call that an ear worm - a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person's mind after it is no longer playing1. And according to research, 98% of us experience these pesky occurrences every once in a while. But what if your ear worm worked to your advantage?   My WOW! Women on the Way to Peak PerformanceProgramSM can give you just the messages you need to take your performance and career to the next level. If you’re not ready for the full program, the Lite version includes two high impact modules – “Getting the Right Work Done” and “Building a Network of Advocates” – to help you keep some powerful tools front and center.

“Getting the Right Work Done” focuses on:

* Determining the three most critical areas where you can make the biggest business impact

* Understanding where you are getting side-tracked

* Develop strategies to ensure you are getting the right work done

Listening to this audio module periodically during the year can serve as a checkup or help you refocus on the most important areas for success.

“Building a Network of Advocates” helps you assess and strengthen your current network of colleagues and contacts, to help you get results and advance your career with advocates in your corner.

* How do your attitudes and beliefs impact your ability to network?

* Who should you leverage in your network?

* Strategies to strengthen your network in a way that works for you

* Develop action steps to leverage your contacts to achieve your goals

Designed with busy professionals in mind, you can download and listen to these two 30-minute modules from my website here at your convenience. They come with transcripts and exercises to help you get the most out of the content. Whether you need a boost in the morning to make sure you are showing up the right way, or would like to have a coach available at the press of a button when tackling a difficult challenge, these audio programs will give you a positive ear worm!

1 Wikipedia definition – ear worm

Leadership Lessons from 'Hank'

I recently had the opportunity to attend a private screening of the documentary “Hank: 5 Years from the Brink” at The George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum.  In the film, former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson talks about the challenges and issues he dealt with during the financial crisis and government bailouts of 2008. President George W. Bush introduced the film and we had an opportunity to hear directly from Secretary Paulson about the experience and what he wanted others to learn from it. Whatever your politic views, “Hank” is a fascinating look at how we make decisions and lead during times of complexity and high stakes. Paulson faced extreme versions of the pressures we all face at times in our careers: deadlines, adversity, harsh criticism, and others questioning our judgment.

His story gives us some lessons on handling challenging times:

Get support. Paulson’s wife was a pillar of support for him. In one memorable scene of the documentary, Hank is paralyzed with fear and truly at a loss for what to do. Completely overwhelmed, he reaches out to his wife to ask her for advice.  In that moment, she says exactly the right inspirational words to propel him forward, out of a place of fear and to a place where he can identify and take that next step. We all need people in our lives who know just what to say when we’re stuck. Who provides that voice of reason, reassurance or comfort for you?

Frame your actions. With each looming crisis, Paulson’s focus on doing the right thing for the country was at the forefront of his decision making. He reinforced this in every communication to congress by framing the options in the context of what was truly at stake. How you frame something can be the difference between garnering support or falling flat.

Surround yourself with the right people. Paulson deliberately brought in others whose expertise supplemented his own skills, knowledge, and experience and engaged them in being part of the solution. He recognized his limitations and leveraged others to fill in the gaps.

Leaders who put this into practice can accomplish amazing things – sustainable high performance, effective crisis management, and unprecedented results.  Invest time to get clear about the types of skills and expertise you need to round out your team’s capabilities.

You can watch “Hank” on Netflix or iTunes, and I encourage you to check it out. The documentary sheds light both on the financial crisis and dealing with personal adversity as we face difficult chapters in our own careers.

Do you leverage the power of curiosity?

We’ve all been in situations where a manager consistently asks rhetorical questions, positioning himself as the “loudest voice in the room.” And while he may think he is sharing useful information and reinforcing his position, his team members often become uncomfortable and disengaged. However, questions can be a valuable leadership tool when they come from a place of genuine curiosity. Roger Schwarz (http://www.schwarzassociates.com/) recently commented in the Harvard Business Review (http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/07/increase-your-teams-curiosity/) that good questions “keep the discussion focused, get all the information on the table, learn why members have different views, and create solutions that take into account all team members’ perspectives.”

How often do you leverage the power of true curiosity - either as a valued team member or with your manager? Do your questions typically advance the discussion in a positive way, or do you rely on rhetorical questions that can have the opposite effect? So before you ask your next question, challenge yourself to be truly curious.

Early Morning Habits of Successful People

There is one thing that distinguishes successful people. They get a lot done. And while we all have several balls in the air, these high performers seem to have exceptionally high output. So…how do they do it?

A recent article in Inc. Magazine shared several nuggets that you may find useful. As you might expect, how you start the day can set the tone for how much you accomplish. The most successful people begin by focusing on their top priority, and science gives us more insight into what works about this practice. A well-known psychology professor from Florida State University found that willpower is like a muscle that becomes tired when overused. So, mornings offer a fresh boost to the willpower muscle, enabling successful people to focus on their most critical goals first.

Take a look at the other early morning habits that successful people exhibit, and notice which ones you currently put into practice.

• Wake up early

• Exercise or meditate in the morning

• Work on a personal passion

• Spend quality time with family

• Network with friends and advocates

• Develop plans or strategies

• Catch up on current events

• Make a list of things for which they are grateful

How do you want to set yourself up for success each morning? Do your days currently begin with a mad dash or do you show up with purpose and a specific plan in mind?  This is so critical to success that I have dedicated a module to Getting the Right Work Done in the WOW! Women on the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM (full and Lite versions).  Listen to the quick 30-minute audio to learn how to focus on the three critical areas where you can make the biggest business impact this year, and how to manage distractions.

To accelerate your results and impact, invest your time intentionally each morning. Consider implementing one or two of these habits I’ve listed and investing in the WOW! ProgramSM audio to make sure you’re applying the right tools for a more successful you.

Dealing with Difficult People

Do you have a colleague who never fails to frustrate you? Some of my clients are struggling with this very issue, and I’ve noticed that they do something interesting. Rather than expecting the other person to behave as he always has, my client shows up with hope that today will be different and this person just won’t do the things that get under her skin. I hate to squash that kind of optimism, but in this case the evidence is overwhelming that the behavior will likely be as maddening as it has been.

However, if instead you expect the same behavior, you may be less likely to get “triggered.”  In other words, you may take her actions less personally and be more open to engaging in a different way.

To take yourself out of the predictable cycle of how your interactions unfold, try a new approach with him. Take a look at these three questions to help you do so:

• How much time or energy do you want to invest in changing things?

• What small change can you make to how you engage with him, so that you get a better outcome?

• How much dread and negative self-talk are you holding onto? What do you typically say to yourself? Remember that what you say to yourself can make the situation ten times worse.

Remember that slight tweaks can shift the dynamics, so it may not take a lot to improve the situation. It’s critical to be clear on how you want to show up, regardless of how the other person does.

So, if you’re dealing with a difficult colleague, take a few minutes this week to answer the questions above. You may realize that a small change in how you behave or what you tell yourself, can make a huge difference and take a lot of the angst out of the situation.

Show Up the Right Way When You Get Triggered

One of my executive coaching clients has the perfect storm of business and political challenges converging. Her company is going through dramatic and rapid change, resulting in rampant office politics as people feel uncertain and insecure about the future.  In tough environments like this, emotions can run high and feelings can be hard to control. We have all been there at one point or another.  The next time you find yourself in a situation that triggers you, try these strategies.   Breathe  Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathing is one of the easiest and most effective steps you can take to help you get centered. Inhale to a count of 3, hold for 3 and then exhale for 3. This pace of even, methodical breathing can get you out of fight-or-flight mode. And you can even do this in a meeting, and no one will know.   Check in  Once you calm down, answer these questions: 

• What do you really want or need right now?” Maybe you need to feel validated, respected, or understood.

• What does the other person want or need?

• How do you want to show up in this situation? In other words, what do you want others to consistently understand when they think about your leadership? For example, it could be with professionalism, integrity, and confidence.

It can help to write your responses to these questions or talk through them with someone else, to really crystallize what’s going on.   Defer  Sometimes the emotions of a situation can prevent you from moving into problem-solving mode. If you’re having difficulty re-centering or you keep replaying the scenario in your head, one of your core values may have been threatened.  Once someone is fully triggered, it takes 20 minutes to recover.   If you find yourself in this place, the best action may be no action. Give yourself some space so you can show up in the way that you want. For women, talking to other female friends can also help because doing so releases stress-reducing hormones (according to a groundbreaking study released by UCLA in January 2014).   The next time you feel yourself getting triggered, start by simply breathing.   It’s a small shift, but one that can help manage your emotions during challenging situations.  Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

Getting to the Top

Two momentous promotions recently occurred. Janet Yellen was promoted from Vice Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System to the 15th Chairman of the Federal Reserve. And Mary Barra transitioned from Executive Vice President of Global Product Development, Purchasing and Supply Chain at General Motors to Chief Executive Officer of General Motors. Both promotions are a first, and realized after the women had spent 20+ years at their respective organizations. Is there a hidden nugget for you in these two events? Clearly, both women persevered and got results. But having a strong network, in addition to demonstrating results, matters just as much. Research from Catalyst shows that having sponsors, leaders with power and influence who give visibility to your strengths and push to get you opportunities, can make a huge difference.

What are you doing to build a powerful network of advocates?  When was the last time you took a hard look at your network and how you cultivate and leverage key relationships? If this is something you struggle with, you can find easy-to-implement strategies to develop and strengthen your network in my WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance Program℠.  Given the importance of this skill set, I have dedicated a complete module to Building a Network of Advocates –  to help you get results for the business and your career (this module is also included in WOW LiteSM).

I have no doubt that Mary and Janet developed strong networks within their companies, their industries and personal lives – and it has served them well. How do you want to put this into play for yourself this year?

Focusing on the Positives

I frequently ask my coaching clients - “What worked well for you during your ‘successful’ event?” We’ll discuss the event to determine what really worked, what was done differently and how can they consistently put those actions into play the next time. It’s a simple tactic of noticing the positives to reinforce behavior. 

I employ this tool as a parent as well. Each night, as I put my son to bed, we talk about the three good things that happened that day. I cherish these conversations, and believe this time of reflection helps him build strong skills for success.  

In fact, there is scientific evidence that daily reflection on the positives is beneficial. The Harvard Business Review recently cited a University of Florida study on this topic. A team of researchers led by Joyce E. Bono found that stress levels and physical complaints declined by roughly 15% after employees spent 10 minutes writing down three things that went well each day. Clearly, reflecting on the positives has an important effect stress and health.  

Do you focus on the positives? In my book Show Up! Step Up! Step Out!, my first chapter talks about the power of simply noticing. There is value in noticing how you show up, how others show and what it all means. I encourage you take that step a little further and notice the positives in your daily activities. Take a few minutes each night to write them down and reflect on what they mean. Then make a commitment to yourself to reinforce those positives the next day. Focusing on the positives can make a difference.    

3 Leadership Principles from Dr Pepper/Snapple Group

Recently, I had the chance to hear Marty Ellen, chief financial officer of the Dr Pepper Snapple Group, speak at a Network of Executive Women event. Ellen shared that he leads by three guiding principles and emphasizes these as a mentor.

Control Take charge of your own life and how you are showing up. Ellen said that when he delivers a speech, he pays attention to who is sitting in the front row — in other words, who is ready to engage and be seen instead of fading into the woodwork. The other aspect of control is asking for what you want. Don’t assume, for example, that your bosses will know you’re interested in a promotion. Ask for what you want.

Influence What truly makes you influential is the power of relationships, and what makes your relationships thrive is relating to others on a personal level, Ellen says. No matter how far you’ve risen in an organization, remember your journey. You were learning the ropes once, too. Showing humility and respect in how you treat others will increase your influence.

Judgment Ellen got his MBA from Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, where he learned the concept of “managing your 168.” That’s the number of hours in a week. How will you invest that time based on what matters to you? How you use your 168 will vary at different times in your life, but you must always use careful judgment in how you spend those hours.

His talk gives us some valuable questions to consider: How are you taking charge of your life? How are you showing up in relationships?  Are you “managing your 168” in a way that reflects your priorities? I challenge you to identify one small step to put at least one of these principles into play this week. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

The Gender Diversity Mindset

Every company has an embedded culture that sets the tone for acceptable behavior. Whether stated – or implied – this culture plays a critical role in either supporting or hindering efforts to advance diversity. A recent multiyear McKinsey Global Survey  investigated gender in the workplace and the ability of women to reach top management. I found the results compelling and wanted to share some key nuggets with you. Women Matter While the majority of the 230 companies surveyed had implemented at least one measure to recruit, retain, promote, and develop women, few companies have seen notable improvements as a result. The primary culprit impeding success – corporate culture. Cultural factors at work are more than twice as likely as individual factors to affect women’s confidence that they can reach top management.

What Women Want Survey results show that women’s career ambitions are just as high as their male peers, and they are ready to do what it takes to achieve their ambitions. Yet female executives are much less certain they will reach the top. Two factors seem to drive or inhibit career success: personal actions/desires/initiative, and the organizational environment in which executives work.

Moving the Needle What are the most important drivers for increasing gender diversity at the top? Survey respondents say strong CEO and top-management commitment, and a corporate culture and mind-set that supports gender-diversity objectives are required to achieve this goal. No one single tactic will deliver success. Companies need a whole ecosystem of measures – and both male and female executives to actively support the initiatives.

While you can certainly impact your company’s culture, you will see faster results by focusing on your own actions and what you can influence. In my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., I share a variety of practical leadership strategies that get results. Based on what’s getting in the way of your success, pick a chapter each week and focus on implementing the strategies in it.