10 Things Successful Women Consistently Do

March is Women’s History Month, and an important time for us here at Newberry Solutions. One of our passions is developing high-performing women leaders. We’re proud to have been recognized for this work. And we’re excited that the tools we’ve created to make leadership development more accessible (like the New Lens app) are helping women thrive and make a bigger impact.

In honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to reshare a list of the 10 things that successful women consistently do. Everything on this list is based on what I’ve observed over thousands of hours of coaching leaders. As much as we’d like to think the playing field is similar for men and women, women typically face different types of challenges at work and they play different roles at home. So, naturally, we would expect to see some differences in what successful women do. 

Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash

So many of you have told me that this list has been helpful to you or that it’s helped you to mentor or support other women. I hope to keep that momentum going today with this updated version of that list.

Successful women …

1. Realize that they’ve already earned their current role and fully assume the position. They pay attention to their executive presence and the messages they are sending about their confidence and authority.

2. Recognize that their own behavior plays a huge role in “teaching” others how to treat them.

3. Own their value by accepting and appreciating positive feedback. They know their strengths and look for ways to maximize them.

4. Authentically invest in cultivating sponsors — leaders with power and influence. They understand that mentorship is not the same thing as sponsorship.

5. Don’t shy away from office politics. Instead, they ethically engage in it to give them access to resources, information and influence they need to get things done.  

6. Negotiate for what they want.

7. Proactively share their positive business results in a way that others can learn and benefit from. (If you have trouble with this, check out our guide to tasteful self-promotion.)

8. Design a “sustainable model” that honors their personal and professional priorities. This is especially important now that hybrid work can make it harder to unplug while you’re at home.

9. Drive for results in a way that maintains or strengthens relationships. Results and relationships are inextricably linked and an investment in both is necessary.

10. Pave the way for other women. They look for the potential in others and find ways to support their growth.

As you read through this list, what resonated for you? What one step can you take this week to bring it to life for yourself or for another woman you work with? As always, we’re here to help, with several resources including our newest tool to make leadership development affordable and scalable, the award-winning New Lens® app.

One of the Fastest Ways to Have a Bigger Impact

Most of the go-getters I work with rarely celebrate success – and I’ve been just as guilty over the years. I remember the first time I was honored by the Dallas Business Journal with a Women in Business Award. I barely told anyone, let alone invite them to celebrate with me at the awards luncheon. 

Photo by Anna Shvets

As someone who belongs to a family of overachievers with tremendous resilience, I got so used to expecting a lot of myself. And my career choices continued to reinforce this. In my 14 years working at Deloitte, I was surrounded by smart, competitive, capable people. So, it was easy to say, “What’s the big deal?” when I accomplished something significant.  Like many of my high-performing clients, my definition of “average” performance became skewed. 

So, what’s at stake if I (or you) let a “check-the-box-and-move-on” approach continue? Simply put, others can’t fully tap into the power of your strengths, and you miss the opportunity to have a bigger impact. In other words, there is tremendous value for others when you truly notice and “own” your strengths. When you begin to see what you do well and how you consistently do it, you can be more intentional about leveraging your strengths and can teach others the same skills. 

Noticing your strengths is key to creating a bigger ripple effect.  In fact, that is why we make it easy for you to identify them in New Lens®, our online leadership development solution. 

How to Notice Your Accomplishments

A simple way to start noticing the value you bring is by tracking your accomplishments. The process doesn’t have to be time-consuming or complicated. Simply take five to 10 minutes per week to write down any accomplishments. For each one, list its impact (i.e., the “So what?”). And remember not to judge yourself too harshly; include the smaller things, too.

For example, you might include an introductory meeting that you had with someone who is important to a project you are working on. On the surface, it may seem insignificant. But when you really think about the impact, that one meeting may have set the stage for smooth collaboration with a department critical to your project’s success. 

As you continue to capture your accomplishments day after day, you will start to see how much you are getting done and what you do well. This will not only affect your confidence but also make it easier to share your results with others to build more visibility and credibility. And don’t forget to celebrate your successes to take it one step further.

For more strategies to help you or your employees be successful, schedule a demo of New Lens.. It makes learning digestible through bite-sized lessons that you can access anytime anywhere and a collaborative approach to foster deeper learning and stronger relationships.

4 Ways to Lead More Strategically

Have you spent the past couple of years with your head down, focused only on the latest problem to solve?

Many of us have been operating this way out of necessity during this period of constant change. But it’s time to lift your head up. No, the change isn’t stopping. However, thinking only in the short term will cause you to miss valuable opportunities. If you’re out of practice in looking beyond immediate concerns, here are a few ways to get back in the habit of taking a wider perspective and being more strategic.

Photo by Behnam Norouzi on Unsplash

1. Adjust Your Calendar

Focusing on the right work is the most powerful thing you can do for the long-term health of both your organization and your career. So take a quick pause right now to jot down the three critical areas where you make the biggest impact on the business. Have your “big three” changed over the past couple of years? And does your calendar reflect what your strategic priorities need to be right now? If not, how can you make more room in your schedule for your most important work? For example, maybe there’s a task you can delegate to someone on your team to both free up capacity for you and help your team member develop a new skill. Or perhaps you can change a weekly meeting to biweekly. While you’re working with your calendar, schedule some regular time for strategic reflection. Even 10-15 minutes per week can help you course correct if you get distracted from the big picture.

2. Think Beyond Your Role

Silos are a big problem in many organizations. And in times when resources are scarce, it’s even easier to become territorial and think only in terms of your team or department. But you’ll be a more effective leader, and more likely to get promoted, if you become known as someone who considers the good of the entire organization, not just your own area. Think about relationships you’d like to build across departments. Who are the colleagues in other areas who can help you get things done — or whom you would simply like to learn from? Also think about how often you present ideas that go beyond your current role. What insights or suggestions could you share that would benefit the organization as a whole?

3. Look for the Deeper Issue

Does it feel like you keep putting out the same fires over and over again? Then use some of the reflection time we talked about above to try to identify the root cause of these crises — and how you can stop them from repeating. For example, maybe you’ve just lost yet another team member during the Great Resignation. The short-term solution is finding someone to replace them. The longer-term solution is determining why people keep leaving and making changes to help retain them.

4. Remember to ‘Connect the Dots’

Leading strategically is only part of the equation. You also have to communicate to others that you are focused on the big picture. For example, it may seem obvious to you how your suggestion that benefits your department also helps the organization as a whole. But others may not see that unless you “connect the dots” for them. Even just using the words “strategy” and “strategic” more in your communications can help others understand your motivations.

Which one of these ideas can you use this week to better balance short-term problems with long-term priorities? Remember, we have a wealth of tools you can draw on, no matter what leadership challenges you are facing. You may be especially interested in our new white paper, “Leadership Development for a Changing World,” which explores the demands that leaders face now and the development opportunities they need to succeed in today’s hectic work environment.

3 Questions to Help You Shape Your Legacy

It's Women's History Month 2020, a time to celebrate the legacies of women who have shaped our country. It's also a valuable opportunity to think about what you want your own legacy to be.

With our days so busy, we rarely get a chance to think about big-picture questions like this one. But considering what you will leave behind is one of the most motivating things you can do. These three questions can be a starting point to thinking about what you want your legacy to be.

1. What three things would you want someone to say about you over the long-term?

Think about this question in terms of both what you do and how you do it. Your answers will probably overlap with your desired brand and your "Big 3": the areas where you can have the biggest impact at work.

If you aren't sure how to answer this question, think about the ripple effect you could start right now — in your company, family or community. What kinds of activities get you excited? What is one thing you can do to put your passion and strengths to work?

Here are some possible answers that might spark ideas for you:

• Seeing the potential in others: The best thing anyone could say about me is that I recognize the power of helping people see and tap into who they really are, and I consistently stretch and challenge them to realize their potential.

• Mentorship: I want to be known as a mentor, someone who always makes it a priority to help the next generation of leaders navigate challenges in their careers. I am not afraid to share tough feedback, because it’s a gift – to increase their self-awareness and help them be successful.

• Servant leadership: I'd like to be recognized as someone who sees the power of one person making a difference. In particular, others would say that I consistently provide support to family, friends, and colleagues and invest time in my community by serving on nonprofit boards.

2. How aligned are your time and energy with your desired legacy?

Track your time for two to three weeks at a high level, paying particular attention to how much time you dedicate to what you want to be part of your legacy. If you're like most of us, your schedule won’t fully align with your priorities. 

Notice the difference between your time and effort and its overall impact. How you can shift the balance toward the things that matter? Identify one or two strategies to help you. What can you delegate? How else can you ask for help? Researchers have found we spent more than 40% of our days on low-value tasks we could easily hand off.

This exercise to think about your legacy may also inspire you to manage your time more effectively. We all get lured away by the various demands on our time. To stop from getting sidetracked, check out my tips to minimize distraction.

3. What one action will you take this week toward the legacy you want to leave?

The word "legacy" can be intimidating. Remember, though, that no one creates their legacy overnight. Everything starts with one small step. What one small step can you take to start moving you closer to the impact you want to have? Here are a few ideas:

• Say “no” to something that doesn’t fit.

• Provide words of encouragement to someone else.

• Make just one different everyday choice.

• Notice a mindset that has been holding you back, and replace that negative talk-track with something more positive.

• Meet with someone who can advise you on that idea you've always wanted to pursue.

Whatever you want your legacy to be, visit my website to learn more about how we can help you get there with corporate programs and apps, executive coaching, self-paced tools or free resources from Newberry Executive Solutions.

This Women's History Month, Amplify Your Influence

Happy Women's Hitory Month! Each March, we celebrate how women have influenced the course of U.S. history. I hope this special observance has your thinking about how to more powerfully put your own influence into play.

The ability to influence has always been one of the most important skills for leaders. Today, that's truer than ever. As leadership structures become less hierarchical, companies increasingly emphasize getting things done through influence instead of formal authority. Innovation is vital, and the leaders who deliver innovation are those who can "win over (employees') hearts and minds" to create change, McKinsey reports. The CEOs who are best at engaging others create detailed plans on how to influence.

The action plan in this article will guide you through building your influence in a way that's authentic to your leadership style.

What Does Influence Mean to You?

Many leaders want to be more influential. But that can mean different things to different people. It all depends on how you want others to perceive your leadership. These questions can help you identify the kind of influencer you want to be.

• What do you want others to say about your influence? This is a variation of the question I ask clients when I help them define their leadership brand. What are the top three things you’d want someone to say if they were describing your influence style? For example, maybe it's important to you that others see you as a leader who influences by thoughtfully sharing relevant information, focusing on win/win approaches and keeping the other party’s best interest at heart.

• What kinds of decisions do you want to influence? We all have our strengths. What types of decisions could you influence today based on how others view your strengths? These could include shaping vision, defining strategies, making changes to business operations or staffing decisions. On the other hand, think about what types of decisions would be harder for you to influence based on how others perceive your strengths.

• Whom do you want to influence? Do you want clients or other leaders in your industry to see you as a thought leader? Or is it more important to you to influence others inside your organization, such as peers, direct reports and company leaders? Even if it is a mix of both, defining your target audience will help you build influence faster.

Influence Starts With Credibility

Now that you know more about the kind of influencer you want to be, it's time to shape your plan to become influential. Where should you start? Credibility is at the heart of influence. Without credibility, you can’t effectively influence, no matter what approach you take.

Not sure whether others see you as credible enough to influence a particular area? Seek some feedback. If you hear questions about your credibility, correct any misperceptions by helping others see your strengths and the results you create. Share examples of how you consistently add value, in a way that’s relevant for the audience.

If you’re like many high performers, though, you may need to take a step back before you can do this. We often underestimate our own strengths and all that we contribute. If you don't understand why you're "kind of a big deal," you can't effectively share that information with others. And that undercuts your influence. Affirm your credibility to yourself by keeping a log of what worked well for you in your latest successes. Then you'll be more ready to demonstrate your credibility to others.

Influencers See the Big Picture

The intelligence, insight and other qualities you bring to the table are just part of what makes you influential as a leader. You also have to be known as someone who’s not just in it for yourself. Connect what you do to the big picture of what’s right for the organization. Sometimes we can be so clear in our own heads about what we are doing that we forget that others may not understand the intent behind our words and actions.

For example, if you speak just about your (or your department’s) goals and priorities, it can leave others wondering whether your motivation is self-serving. That can quickly erode your credibility. So look for opportunities, big and small, to communicate your big picture and priorities to others – the “what” and the “why.” You don’t have to create new forums to do so; you can leverage existing meetings and opportunities.

Influence Grows Through Relationships

One of the biggest mistakes I see my executive coaching clients make is confusing position and influence. Titles on the org chart don’t tell the full story. All organizations have formal leaders whose power ties to their positions. But they also have informal leaders who shape what really gets done.

Being an influential leader means looking beyond formal structures and recognizing that it’s not just your position (or someone else’s position) that makes things happen. You have to understand, cultivate and leverage relationships, with both formal and informal leaders.

Hone Your Process for Influence

The final part of the influence equation relates to the processes you use to build influence. Be strategic about how you leverage and engage others. For example, how often do you hold the “meeting before the meeting” to get buy-in from others and avoid surprises? Are you enlisting help from the messengers your audience will find credible? Look at what you do today and for any small tweaks you could make to bring others along more effectively.

What Does Using These Influence Strategies Look Like?

Now let's bring all of that together. Think about an upcoming decision you'd like to influence. First, identify who will really make the decision. If you aren’t sure about the political dynamics in your company, ask people you trust who have been around long enough to know. Frame your questions in the right context by communicating how a better understanding of the landscape will help you avoid landmines and more quickly deliver what the business needs. But don’t stop there. Go beyond identifying this group of decision-makers to also understanding whom they trust and rely on for advice and input.

Now consider how to best share your ideas. In other words, who would be the best messenger(s) for your ideas? To influence the outcome you want, it may not be you. Never forget how much the messenger matters.

Once you have thought through the dynamics and who can help you, frame your ideas to enlist the support of key stakeholders. What is important to you and to each of these individuals? What are the key points of connection, and how should you communicate those? Choose the right words to help others see your focus on what’s best for the business and not your own personal agenda.

Set Your Goals as an Influencer

Ready to use what you've learned to become more influential? It helps to set concrete goals. For example, how long would it take you to build the knowledge and track record needed to exert the influence you want to have? Whom do you need to engage along the way? To focus your efforts, define one or two small steps along with deadlines. Once you’ve completed those steps, define the next one or two. This will help you move forward without feeling overwhelmed.

As you work your game plan, remember that influence is not about manipulation. It is about helping your company achieve desired results, in a way that is authentic, genuine and relationship-oriented. You can find more strategies like these in my Leadership EDGE Series℠ booklet on Building Influence.

6 Secrets of Women Who Always Have Energy

Has all the newness worn off the new year? Are you already counting the days until your spring break trip? Then it's time to tune up your energy level. With all the work and personal demands that fill your days, be deliberate about maintaining your energy. Fortunately, there are lots of easy steps you can take during your day to recharge and renew. Here are some of the key strategies that energetic women share. 

1. Spend time with people who energize them

The people you’re around regularly have a huge effect on whether you feel lively and energized or depleted and crabby. Think of how you can get some time with people who lift you up. Maybe that means scheduling lunch with your favorite former boss or making a coffee run with the co-worker who always makes you laugh. Bonus: Cultivating relationships also helps you build a career-boosting network.

At the same time, be mindful about your exposure to the other kind of people: the ones who drain your energy. How can you manage the amount of time you spend with your de-energizers? Or what can you do before or after seeing them to replenish the energy they take from you?

2. Avoid mental traps that drain their energy

Sometimes we drag our own energy down with negative self-talk and destructive ways of thinking. For example, do you tend to take things personally, assume the worst, or exaggerate the impact of any event or setback? No wonder you're feeling stressed and exhausted! Check out my article on common "thinking traps" to identify your negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive, energizing thoughts.

3. Know their unique energy patterns

We all have different energy patterns. It's important to understand yours and make the most of them. For one week, monitor your energy level every two to three hours. Keep a log of this information. At the end of the week, consider these questions:

• What days of the week or times of day did you have the most energy?

• What days of the week or times of day did you have the least energy, even if you hadn’t done anything unusually taxing? 

• What types of activities gave you the most energy? 

• What types of activities drained your energy?

Use your own patterns to develop strategies to help you better manage your energy throughout the day. If you have more energy in the morning, try to schedule your challenging work or meetings then. If your energy slumps midday, what one thing can you do to give yourself a boost?

4. Take time to reflect

One of the most effective ways to be more productive is by creating space to be more strategic. Setting aside time to reflect will bring new energy to your work. Start by putting just 10-15 minutes on your calendar once a week to process what happened at your recent meetings and prepare for upcoming ones. Work your way up to 15 minutes several times a week, and then an hour several times per week. This will also help you stay on top of your biggest priorities and maximize your productivity.

5. Use self-care to strategically boost their energy

Do you any of these statements apply to you?

• I rarely get more than seven hours of sleep in a night.

• I exercise fewer than three times per week.

• I often skip meals or eat unhealthy food.

If you skimp on self-care, your energy and perspective will suffer. Yet many people, especially women, fall into this trap. You might think, “How could I possibly take time for ME right now when there’s so much to do and others rely on me?” In this view of the world, self-care is a luxury, a “nice-to-have.” In reality, though, self-care leads to a more sustainable way of working and living, so you can provide the support others need from you.

At the end of the day, what we’re talking about is energy management. Resist the temptation to keep giving and giving without taking enough time to renew your own energy. As you may know from firsthand experience, it can lead to burnout or resentment pretty quickly.

6. Express gratitude more often

Research has shown that gratitude makes us happier, healthier and more resilient. Yet we're less likely be grateful at work than we are in other aspects of our lives.

Taking the time to feel and express gratitude can lift your energy — and the energy of those around you. One way to do this is to express appreciation to someone who has made a difference for you this year. The more specific your feedback, the more energy you and the other person will get from the experience. Taking five minutes each day to simply notice the things for which you are grateful, whether it’s in the morning before the mad dash begins or at the end of the day, will give you a boost.

Try one or more of these strategies the next time you start to feel tapped out. And for one more easy energy boost, pick up my Highlight Audio℠. With a sampling of strategies from the full WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance Program℠, this audio training will help make the most of every minute, whether you're working out at the gym, traveling to a meeting or waiting in the carpool line.

The Top 10 Things Successful Women Do

I’ve spent thousands of hours coaching leaders over the past twelve years, which has given me the opportunity to get an “up close and personal” look at what impacts their success.  As much as we’d like to think the playing field is similar for men and women, women typically face different types of challenges at work and they play different roles at home. So, naturally, we would expect to see some differences in what successful women do. 

Successful women:

1. Realize that they’ve already earned their current role and fully assume the position.

2. Recognize that their own behavior plays a huge role in “teaching” others how to treat them.

3. Own their value by accepting and appreciating positive feedback and by speaking up.

4. Authentically invest in cultivating sponsors — leaders with power and influence.

5. Understand the importance of ethically engaging in vs. opting out of office politics.

6. Negotiate for what they want.

7. Proactively share their positive business results in a way that others can learn and benefit from.

8. Know the importance of designing a “sustainable model” that honors their personal and professional priorities.

9. Drive for results in a way that maintains or strengthens relationships.

10. Pave the way for other women.

As you read through this list, what resonated for you? What one step can you take this week to bring it to life for yourself or for another woman you work with? If nothing else, keep this list handy as a quick reminder and share it with other women. 

And always remember that small steps can lead to big results. 

Lessons From My Year of Decluttering

Earlier this year I told you I had begun a process of clearing both physical and mental clutter in my life. This has been quite a big undertaking, but I am on the other side of it. Life feels much easier and lighter. I want to share what I've learned about clutter (no matter what kind) and how you can begin to address yours.

What Is Clutter?

Most of us think of clutter in the physical sense — for example, a pile of papers on your desk or a closet full of outdated clothes that don’t fit anymore. But let’s take a look at a much broader definition.

• Clutter can be anything that drains your energy, whether that's a messy physical environment or a relationship that depletes you.

• Clutter encompasses what you keep tolerating and allowing to frustrate you. This could range from a repair job that you keep putting off to bad habits that you know you need to change to perpetual underperformance from team members or ongoing issues in your other work or personal relationships.

• Clutter can include remnants of the past or parts of your life, personal or professional, that just don't fit anymore.

• No matter what form clutter takes, it can distract you, deplete your energy and affect how you “show up” with others every day.

Managing Relationship Clutter

As I examined the clutter in my own life, tackling my physical environment was easy. I cleared stuff out of my house, replaced the old, drafty front and back doors, installed new porch lights and got a new yard service. Essentially, I got rid of all the visual reminders of what didn’t work, which released some of my mental capacity for other things.

The next step was to look at my relationships, which was much thornier work. When you have to continue interacting with people you find draining, things get a bit more complicated. It’s not as easy as tossing out old magazines!

You can, however, take steps to minimize the impact of these relationships:

• Think about both how a particular relationship serves you and how it's holding you back. Get clear about the one or two reasons you want to stay engaged in this relationship. This will allow you to be more intentional about the choice you are making to continue the relationship and why.

• Next, identify one thing you could do differently with this challenging person that would allow you to maintain your relationship and your energy. Experiment with setting boundaries for yourself. For example, you could shift your interaction to more phone calls vs. in-person meetings, shorten the time you interact or change the cadence of how often you interact.

• Identify at least one way to restore yourself after you have to spend time with a frustrating or energy-draining person. For example, if you know a colleague that sets you off will be at a meeting, plan to do something energizing right before or after. It can be something as simple as taking a quick walk. Focus on what works for you.

• Start taking steps to address underperformance that feels exhausting to deal with. Check out my previous blog post on how to stop tolerating ongoing performance issues in your team.

Declutter Your Behavior

You might discover, though, that the most damaging clutter in your life isn't in your physical environment or your relationships, but rather in your mindset or behavior. If this resonates for you, review these resources to leave your limitations behind:

• Notice your "thinking traps." These affect your stress level and confidence.

• Identify one or two behaviors that undermine your executive presence. This could include acting as you did in a past position instead of adopting new practices to help you succeed in your current role. For example, I see leaders involved in far too many details and failing to delegate and more fully leverage their teams. Or they fail to recognize that how you get results is just as important as the results themselves.

• Take a look at my products and services, which will give you many more resources to draw on when you're looking to make lasting change.

No matter what area of your life you want to declutter, remember to enlist support from people who understand your goals and give you energy.

I want to challenge you to identify one thing you will do this week to start decluttering.  And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

How Are Your Blind Spots Getting in Your Way?

Blind spots. We all have them. But do you really understand how they’re getting in the way of your success?

Imagine racing a high-performance car. You are looking ahead, planning your next move to sustain your performance without compromising your speed. You need to switch lanes and have just a split second to decide which way to go. But you can’t see because your car has a huge blind spot. What do you do? Do you slow down and risk losing the race? Or do you move to the next lane, with unknown consequences to you and others?

Like a race car driver, a high-performing leader moves at a fast clip — zipping from one move to the next, making quick decisions; all the while focused on getting results. If you are like many leaders, you have limited time to reflect. You may not realize that you have blind spots — behaviors that could be hindering your progress and possibly putting others at risk.

So, what can you do? Here are three tips to help you identify and address your blind spots:

1. Ask others for feedback

Identify people with a range of perspectives who will be open and honest about your performance and ask them for feedback. Be sure to ask what you do well, how you may be getting in your own way, and what you should do more or less of to be effective in your role.

As you prepare to request feedback, think about the importance of anonymity and the approach that will yield the most insight. For example, you can use your company’s 360 or upward feedback tool, use a simple online survey tool like SurveyMonkey, sit down and have a direct conversation, or work with an executive coach who can interview others on your behalf and summarize the key themes. Whatever you decide, be sure to choose a method that fosters honest, candid feedback and gives you enough context to interpret the comment.

2. Validate the feedback

Everyone reacts to feedback differently. You may find yourself choosing to deny it or ignore it. However you feel about the feedback, I would urge you to at least validate it. Look for evidence and examples through your own observations, reflection, and conversations with others. Whether you agree with the feedback or not, entertaining the possibility that “it might be true” will open you up to noticing things you might not otherwise see.

3. Take Action

So now that you have gathered and validated the feedback, what should you do? Just remember that feedback has value only if you do something with it. Start by choosing one or two areas that you’d like to focus on first. Be careful not to overload yourself with action items, and remember that your action items don’t have to be huge. Small steps can lead to big results.

What Kind of Leader Are You?

If you’re like most people, you probably haven’t given much, if any, thought to your brand as a leader. When I coach high-performing managers and leaders, leadership brand comes up time and again — because being deliberate about assessing and developing your brand can have a huge impact on your success.

So, if you’re ready to take a look at your brand, here are four steps to get you started:

1. Find out what you are known for today.

Whether you realize it or not, you do have a brand. The question is how well it's serving you. As you define your current brand, limit yourself to three, one-word adjectives. Reflect on performance reviews and common themes you have heard from others in the past, and consider collecting feedback from others. You can conduct an anonymous online survey, ask people yourself, or have someone else (like an executive coach, mentor, or supervisor) gather feedback for you. Whatever you do, choose an approach that will give you candid information. Remember to ask people to give you specific examples. What do you say or do that demonstrates your brand? You have to understand what it looks and sounds like.

2. Determine what you want to be known for.

Your desired brand must be authentic (i.e., true to you); this is not about misleading anyone. Again, limit yourself to three one-word adjectives. I once coached a female executive (let’s call her Michelle) about her desired brand.

She wants others to view her as:

Credible – Michelle wants others to recognize her specialized industry expertise because it is important for the role and business she is in.

Confident – Michelle wants to have a physical presence that conveys that she is a strong player.

Respectful – When she disagrees with a point of view, Michelle wants to do it in a manner that still encourages ideas and input from others.

3. Define how to reinforce your desired brand.

Again, it’s important to determine what you would say or do to reinforce your brand. In Michelle’s example, demonstrating credibility might involve proactively sharing specific industry information with the leadership team in the context of a top priority or project. Confidence might entail speaking louder, making direct eye contact when addressing a group, standing or sitting taller, or speaking up at least once in every leadership meeting.

4. Take action to close the gap.

Identify one or two actions you will take to close the gap between your current and your desired brand. This may mean that you have to stop or start doing something. Using Michelle’s example of being respectful, she has to stop interrupting others when they speak and resist that urge to jump right in.

Just remember that your leadership brand is important context for how you show up as a leader — in your everyday words and actions. By proactively defining and managing your brand, you will get better results. So, what are you waiting for?

Do You Have Mentors or Sponsors?

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ve probably heard time and again how important it is to have at least one strong mentor to guide you and help you develop the skills to get to the next level in your career. Most large companies even offer formal or informal mentoring programs. So you might think that both genders benefit equally from having a mentor. However, a Harvard Business Review article, Why Men Get More Promotions than Women, highlights that men benefit more than women.

The article shares research from a 2010 study by Catalyst, a leading nonprofit organization that works with businesses to build inclusive workplaces and expand opportunities for women and business.

Here is one of the most notable findings from the research:

“Although women are mentored, they’re not being promoted. A Catalyst study of more than 4,000 high potentials shows that more women than men have mentors— yet women are less likely to advance in their careers. That’s because they’re not actively sponsored the way the men are. Sponsors go beyond giving feedback and advice; they advocate for their mentees and help them gain visibility in the company. They fight to get their protégés to the next level.”

The article goes on to say that men and women both mention receiving valuable career advice from their mentors, but men predominantly describe being sponsored. Women explain that their mentoring relationships help them better understand themselves and how they work, and what they might need to change as they move up the corporate ladder. Men, on the other hand, tell more stories about how their bosses and mentors have helped them strategically plan their career moves, assume responsibility and leadership in new roles, and openly support their authority.

The research certainly has implications for organizations as they design mentoring programs and explore how to best support the advancement of women. But there are also important implications for what you should personally do. Here are three suggestions to think about:

1. Recognize the distinction between mentorship and sponsorship.

Both mentors and sponsors offer tremendous value in helping you develop yourself and proactively manage your career. Mentors typically serve as role models, providing guidance and perspective to help you further develop your skills and navigate challenging political situations. Sponsors, on the other hand, give you exposure to opportunities and visibility to influential leaders, and advocate on your behalf.

2. Have mentors and sponsors in your network.

Recognize that the skills required to be an effective mentor may be different from what it takes to be an effective sponsor. Mentors can typically hold any position in the organization and can help you close gaps in your skills, while sponsors have clout and yield considerable influence on key decision-makers. Remember to have both mentors and sponsors in your network, using your career goals as important context for whom you engage.

3. Be mindful of whom you choose.

It may be more comfortable for you to choose individuals who look like you. In fact, the research shows that men tend to gravitate toward men and women to women. However, when it comes to sponsors, more important than gender is the person’s role and level in the organization. Remember that it’s critical to gain sponsorship from leaders who hold senior-level positions and have influence and power. As you think about mentors, think about the skills you are trying to build and who may be able to help you fill those gaps.

So, to get you started, take a look at your existing network in the context of what you’re trying to accomplish personally and professionally. This will serve as an important guide to identify whom to engage as mentors and sponsors to get the support you need.

Networking for Results

When we expanded our business into the Dallas/Fort Worth area, several people commented on how quickly we plugged into the local business community and asked what we did to make it happen. Here are three simple strategies that have worked for us and our clients.

1. Get clear.

Networking can be a full-time job if you let it. So before you dive in, clarify what you want to accomplish personally and professionally. Developing specific goals will help you focus on who and what matter most, make the best use of your time, and make networking less overwhelming.

Let's take the example of Susan, a leader who told me that she really needs to start networking but finds it draining and difficult. Given her busy schedule, she just doesn’t know how to make it happen. I asked her what she was trying to accomplish. Susan explained that she is ready to take on a bigger role at her company, but that she cannot travel extensively. She admitted that her ideal role may be difficult to get at her company, so she will need strong sponsors to make it happen.

In particular, there are two leaders who could strongly influence her career path. Susan needs to make sure that they know who she is and how she is adding value. As a backup plan, Susan needs to build her external network to identify opportunities outside her company. Because we clarified Susan’s goals first, she could quickly develop a list of people she needs to network with internally and externally.

2. Be consistent.

Most people focus on their networks when they need something. They typically view networking as optional vs. core to achieving their goals. If this sounds all too familiar, I would urge you to set aside time each week to strengthen your network. Remember that it doesn’t have to be time- consuming. Even 5-10 minutes per week can go a long way. For example, in less than five minutes, you can send a quick email about an event or article of interest, make an introduction to someone your contact would enjoy meeting, or ask for advice or input.

As you develop your strategies, think about what would be of service to the person with whom you are cultivating a relationship. Whatever your approach, communicate regularly so that you stay top of mind.

3. Show your stuff.

The best way for people to get to know you is by seeing you in action. Volunteer for something that showcases your strengths, fits with your passion, and helps you develop strong relationships with the right people. When you get involved, others will notice how you think and the value that you bring — as long as you follow through on your commitments. Otherwise, you risk damaging relationships instead of advancing them. Again, you don’t have to invest a lot of your time, but be clear about how much time you can give and carve out something manageable.

Because networking can feel overwhelming, start by developing one achievable goal. For example, you could carve out ten minutes this week to clarify what you want to achieve through networking. If you already know, invest those ten minutes instead to reach out to someone with whom you want a stronger relationship. Remember to look for opportunities within what is already on your calendar (e.g., meetings, calls, etc.), rather than adding more to-do’s to your list!

Do You Know What Really Differentiates You?

As I have coached high performing leaders over the years, I can’t help but notice some common themes. As they move up the ladder, sometimes they take for granted how hard it would be for someone to fill their shoes. Or they underestimate the value of their perspective, one that has been shaped by a unique set of personal and professional experiences.

So, today, I want to ask, “When is the last time you stopped to think about what makes you truly unique and valuable to an organization, whether it’s your current employer, a client or prospect?” If you’re like most people, you spend little to no time contemplating what differentiates you—unless you’re actively job hunting or lobbying for a pay increase or promotion. Yet going through this process can help you step up your game, leveraging your unique value in a way that serves you and your company.

To clarify what sets you apart, start by answering the three questions below. Remember that this won’t take the place of a more thorough personal leadership branding exercise, but it will get the ball rolling in the right direction.

What common themes do you see in the type of work others ask you to do?

Sometimes it takes other people repeatedly pulling you into certain types of projects or opportunities before you notice that what you bring to the table is unique and valued. Think about some of your experiences over the past six to nine months. What jumps out at you?

What have you heard others say about your work?

What do others value most about your work? I want you to think about it from two vantage points, what you do and how you do it. Also consider what you have heard people consistently say, whether or not their feedback made it into your performance review.

What skills or perspective do you have that would be hard to replace?

Finally, get to the aspects that cannot be easily replicated, i.e., your unique approach, perspective, skills, or background. People often openly point these out when they initially meet or get to know you. So, think about conversations you have had with people who have known you for little time, as well as those who have known you for years. What have you heard them say?

It may help to start by asking a few people you trust for input. But even if you don’t, you should gain some insight from answering the questions yourself. If you want to take the exercise one step further, identify one small step to highlight or leverage your unique value, in the context of your career goals and what’s important to business.

What’s Your Impact?

Every day we engage with people from all walks of life in our professional and personal lives. Each interaction results in an exchange of energy, information, and ideas—positive and negative. Through the following three questions, I challenge you today to think about the impact you have on others.

What kind of energy are you giving off?

First, are you the kind of person who brings a conversation to a halt with your “healthy dose of realism” that others might call pessimism, or are you someone that people receive positive energy from? As you go through your day, notice how people respond to you by observing their body language, tone and actions. Recognize that some of their reactions may be more about them than you, but others may be directly related to what you are saying and doing. By paying attention more closely, you may notice some important patterns.

How do you impact results?

Next, ask yourself how the company or others benefit from your involvement or participation, whether you’re participating in a meeting or on a conference call. What do you typically contribute? Are you the person that “hangs back” or dives right in with your ideas? How much do you focus on moving things forward versus staying below the radar or just trying to wade through? Even if you’re “showing up” to participate, are you actually adding value?

What do others take from your behavior?

To bring the last point home, I want to share something from a meeting I was facilitating with an executive women’s group last week. We talked about how leaders are always in an “invisible spotlight.” In other words, people are constantly watching them, noticing what they are doing and drawing their own conclusions.

So, whether you realize it or not, you are sending indirect messages with everything you do. What are yours? Is it that you’re overwhelmed and need to be managed carefully or you might make life miserable for everyone? Or are you that unwavering leader that can provide direction and guidance consistently no matter what is going on? Recognize that small actions can add up to big messages when you put them all together.

Remember that you have an impact on everyone you interact with, but you do have a choice about what kind of impact you want have. So be intentional and purposeful about it and make sure that what you do reinforces your leadership brand and aligns with your values.

So, what one small step will you take this week to have the type of impact that’s important to you and your team?

How Hierarchy Impacts Your Presence

When you participate in events with professionals who hold a much higher or lower position than you, does it make you uncomfortable? As someone not yet in the executive ranks, do you wonder how you can make a positive impression on that senior leader who barely knows you? Or, as a senior leader, do you wonder how awkward it will be to talk to someone who is at a completely different stage in his or her life and career?

Colleen Barrett, President Emeritus of Southwest Airlines, has truly mastered the art of removing hierarchy from the equation when she engages with others. I have learned a lot from observing her, and she wrote the foreword to my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. – Leadership Through a New Lens. As I have gotten to know Colleen, I have noticed three things that she consistently does. As simple as these strategies may seem, they can make a huge difference.

1. Relate to people as people

Imagine for a moment that titles and positions have no relevance. How would you approach the person if you were just trying to get to know her and trying to make her feel comfortable talking to a stranger? What would you want to ask? What would you share about yourself?

2. Be yourself

People can always sense authenticity. Rather than trying to live up to a certain image, remember what others appreciate about you and let that show – whether it’s your sense of humor, ability to tell stories, or some other aspect of your personality. In advance of your interaction, think about how you want to “show up” and what you want others to take from their conversation with you.

3. Take a genuine interest in others

The simplest way to take an interest in others is by asking questions and being fully present as they answer. Allow yourself to go beyond surface level small talk. To get started, you can always ease into a conversation by inquiring about people's interests, families, or vacation plans. This will allow you to quickly find common ground to build on and set the stage for an even better conversation next time.

So, this week, I want to challenge you to think about how hierarchy impacts your presence and to try one of the strategies above. You might be surprised at the difference it makes.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Build Your Personal Brand by Claiming the Spotlight

You've heard me make the case for "tastefully tooting your own horn" as a way to build your personal brand. Well, recently, I got a chance to take this to a whole new level for myself – one way outside my comfort zone. At the tail end of 2014, I found out I was a finalist in four categories for the Stevie Awards for Women in Business.

Initially, I didn’t even consider going to the awards ceremony in New York, and the thought of stepping into that kind of spotlight made me really uncomfortable.

But then I had a change of heart during a conversation with my executive coach. As we talked, I realized the importance of raising the visibility of my personal brand. People who know me well know how much I care about having a bigger impact – to reach more people, give them valuable resources and make a difference. I realized that this would be an important step in that direction. So I bought a plane ticket and headed for New York.

I was surprised at how vulnerable I felt about the whole thing. After all, in a situation like this you are being evaluated by a panel of judges and compared to your peers. And not everyone goes home with an award. So, it was a big deal for me to show up at the awards ceremony, and it was an even bigger deal to take a friend along. I went into that evening figuring I had no chance at gold, and certainly no need to prepare an acceptance speech. The Stevies drew 12,000 nominations from more than 20 countries.

Early in the evening, though, things began to unfold differently than I had predicted: I won a gold award! By the time the whirlwind of an evening was over, I had two gold awards: Mentor and Coach of the Year-Business and Female Entrepreneur of the Year for businesses in my size and category. I also came away with one silver award and one bronze. Because I was seated with honorees from PepsiCo and AT&T, two of my clients, I had my own cheering section. By the end of the night, I was excited — and drained (in fact, too drained to go and celebrate that night in NYC)! When I got back to Dallas, my executive coach laughed out loud when I told her I “survived” my awards ceremony.

This story might surprise you, given how often I’m in the spotlight speaking and presenting and successfully coaching others on tasteful self-promotion. But being in this kind of spotlight was really different, and stretched me in new ways. I am so glad I went, and I urge you to find opportunities to step out, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Here's why:

• We all need to acknowledge and celebrate success. As high performers, we often push ahead to the next project without pausing to notice the impact of what we've already done and how many people we've affected. As I reflected about my company’s growth and performance, I realized how many lives we have touched and in what way. If I didn’t have to find a way to fit four awards in my luggage, I’m not sure I would have really noticed in the way I did that night.

• Increasing your own visibility can help others. To tap into your knowledge and strengths, people have to know what you have to offer! Look for opportunities to showcase your value, impact, and skills so that others can leverage and learn from them, and you can make a bigger difference.

• Being open to the possibilities can take you to places you never expected. I had to really stretch to put myself in a situation that might not have gone as well as I'd hoped. It has taught me lessons that will benefit me and my clients.

If you normally shy away from the spotlight, think about how you can step out more in 2015. Maybe it's applying for an award; maybe it's taking on a high-visibility role or project that scares you. Get motivated with my videos on self-promotion as a way to build your personal brand or the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklet "Strategically Standing Out." And remember, small steps can lead to big results.

P.S. Check out the full list of Stevie Awards for Women in Business winners.

The Real Way to Get a Raise (Hint: It's Not Karma)

It's been almost a month since Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella suggested that women who don't ask for raises earn "good karma," and the fallout continues. Nadella has apologized for the remarks, and now says he was "completely wrong." I agree! (Listen to one of my radio interviews on the controversy here.)

The upside of his remarks is that it initiated more conversations about the pay gap between men and women. Did you know that a recent Glamour magazine survey found that 39 percent of women ask for a higher salary when they land a new job, compared with 54 percent of men? The same survey found that only 43 percent of women have ever asked for a raise in their current jobs. For men, that figure is 54 percent.

Additionally, Nadella's advice to leave their pay up to karma may be sending some women in the opposite direction. Alexis Fritzsche, who works in sales in San Francisco, told the New York Times that Nadella's remarks are spurring her and her friends to ask for raises.

If you're feeling fired up to go after your own raise, I've got some strategies to help you succeed.

Why We Don't Ask — and Why We Should

Unfortunately, Nadella isn't alone in his views about women who ask for a raise. Researchers found that women get penalized more severely than men when they try to negotiate for higher pay.

That study shows that women's fears about asking for a raise — that we'll be seen as greedy, aggressive and not "nice" — aren't baseless.

But, at the same time, it's more necessary than ever to ask if you want the pay you deserve. Believing that "good work speaks for itself" won't get you too far in today's busy workplace. Even if your boss has the best of intentions to notice and reward everyone's accomplishments, she also has a lot of other demands competing for her time and attention.

How to Ask for (and Get) a Raise

Know your value.

You can't sell others on why you're a valuable asset unless you're crystal clear about your unique skills and contributions. Identify your key strengths and how they make a difference to the bottom line.

Share your value regularly.

Make it a habit to tastefully self-promote. You are not bothering people or being a showoff by letting them know what you've accomplished – as long as you do it in a way that is relevant and useful to them. As I said earlier, your boss is busy and may not know all the great things you are doing. Part of her job is to best utilize your talents, so you're helping her out by keeping her informed. Check out my video series for more ideas on the right way to self-promote.

Make it a win/win.

The way you frame your request is key. An ultimatum will put your boss on the defensive. Instead, communicate your commitment and your desire to provide value and feel valued.

Practice!

Your tone and confidence make a difference, too. Rehearse ahead of time in front of a mirror, especially if you know it's hard for you to ask for what you want, so that you can get used to hearing and seeing yourself ask.

Plan for obstacles.

Know how you might get in your own way during the negotiation and plan for that. Decide on what you will do if your boss says no to your initial request. What alternatives can you offer?

You'll find more ideas on the right way to ask for a raise in this Miami Herald article I was part of and this radio interview.

The good news is that the Glamour survey I mentioned earlier found that 75 percent of the women who ask for a raise get one. You can, too! Let me know if you use these strategies and how they worked for you.

Check In on Your Relationships

In October, we've been working with the theme of relationships. In our first post of the month, I challenged you to identify your most important relationships at work and focus on improving the ones that were a little rocky. How did that go for you? Using the approach below, let’s take a look at your progress:

• First, list the priority relationship(s) you wanted to improve. For example, maybe you focused on your relationships with your boss and with one of your direct reports.

• Next, for each person, jot down what has improved.

"My boss is taking more time to understand my ideas instead of cutting me off or multi-tasking when I speak." "My direct report has gone from complaining to me all the time to now beginning to offer some productive suggestions."

Remember, relationships take time to cultivate. Even small changes can be positive indicators. Notice what has happened as well as what doesn’t anymore. For example, you may no longer be having difficult conversations with the person.

• Then, identify what worked. The third step is the most important one. Here, list what worked. Notice the actions you took that improved the relationship. With your boss, maybe the difference-maker was engaging in strategic self-promotion or strengthening your relationships with her trusted advisers so they could share positive feedback about you (the messenger does matter). With your direct report, maybe you saw changes start to happen when you made the effort to find out what was important to him, limit the time he was allowed to vent, and help him remove barriers in the way of his goals.

By taking the time to notice what helped you strengthen these relationships, you will more proactively put these strategies into play. In effect, these are your personal best practices and leveraging them is a powerful strategy that many often overlook.

I hope that you'll take away some new insights on your relationships from our work this month, and I challenge you to keep investing just a few minutes each week. It doesn’t have to be time consuming, but your focus on relationships should be consistent. You'll find ideas on how to do that in my new Leadership EDGE SeriesSM e-booklets "Building Influence" and "Building a Powerful Network." And remember that small steps can lead to big results!

Step Out to Close the 'Confidence Gap'

Did you read the recent article "The Confidence Gap" in The Atlantic? The authors, broadcast journalists Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, explore the disparity in confidence between men and women and how that affects women's success in the workplace.  "Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities," Shipman and Kay write.   And they add, "A growing body of evidence shows just how devastating this lack of confidence can be. Success, it turns out, correlates just as closely with confidence as it does with competence."   But there is good news: Confidence can be learned, Shipman and Kay write.   A confidence makeover doesn't happen overnight. Instead, I believe that you start to build confidence as soon as you take just one small action to "put yourself out there" more than you have in the past.   Are you ready to take that first step toward more confidence? Here are a few ideas:

• Ask for something you want.

• Make a suggestion that you believe in, and that might meet with resistance.

• Speak up in a setting that’s less comfortable for you, such as meeting with senior leaders.

• Volunteer for an assignment that will require you to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

• Reach out to a leader you admire and respect but have hesitated to contact before.

After you've decided on what your action will be, try to get to the heart of what makes it challenging for you. What has held you back from actions like this in the past? Maybe you've worried you might lose credibility or even fail on that "stretch" assignment, or that you were wasting a senior leader's time by asking her for advice.   Once you clarify what's held you back in the past, consider the kind of support you need to make your bold move this time. What words of encouragement would you need to hear? Who do those words need to come from? You or someone else, such as a mentor or a former boss?   Finally, find a way to hold yourself accountable for your confidence-building move. What do you need to do to make sure you carry out your plan for putting yourself out there? Perhaps it's just scheduling time in your calendar to take action, or a follow-up call from someone you trust.   This week, identify the first step you want to take toward "stepping out" in a more visible way. Each small step will help you close that "confidence gap". And remember, small steps lead to big results.

Celebrate Your Success Story

Your shoes would be hard to fill. As we continue our April theme of being bold about what makes you unique, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on how you've succeeded so far. Even accomplished leaders sometimes take their distinctive skills and abilities for granted.

What themes do you see in your success story? Think about the kinds of work that you typically get asked to do. That's a good indicator of your strengths. What have you heard others say about why they value you work? What skills and perspectives do you have that would be hard to replace?

For inspiration, here are some stories of women with humble beginnings whose boldness took them to the top of their fields:

Marissa Mayer, CEO at Yahoo Long before her Silicon Valley days, Marissa Mayer worked as a grocery store clerk. But even then, she was known for fast results. To work in the express lane, she had to scan 40 items a minute.

Indra Nooyi, chairman and CEO at PepsiCo Showing early on that she could take on tough challenges, Indra Nooyi paid her own way through college. When she came to the U.S. to attend graduate school at Yale University, she took a job as a receptionist in her dorm. She worked the late-night shift — from midnight to 5 a.m.— because it paid 50 cents more per hour.

Tina Fey, writer/producer/actress Living in Chicago in the mid-'90s, Tina Fey worked as the child-care registrar at a YMCA before famed improv troupe Second City invited her to join. In 1997, she sent scripts to "Saturday Night Live" producer Lorne Michaels, who then hired her as a writer.

This week, I challenge you to look back on how far you've come in your career and identify the top two things that have helped you get where you are. From this, you'll see how you've been bold and all of the unique things you've already done. And, I hope, you'll be inspired to do more.