Flexible Work Schedules: The Unwritten Rules — 2022 Update

I first published this article about how to lead successfully when you have a flexible work schedule almost three years ago. Of course, a lot has changed since then! The pandemic dramatically accelerated the trend toward flexible scheduling. What hasn’t changed are the “unwritten rules” for sending the right messages about your leadership when you are working a flexible schedule. Today, I want to update my strategies on how you can do that in our dramatically reshaped work environment.

Demands for Flexibility Grow

When I originally wrote this article, it was already becoming clear that flexible scheduling was on the rise and that it was especially important to women. One study found that having flexible hours reduced the wage gap between working moms and women who don't have children. We were also starting to see how flexible schedules support women's ambitions. At companies with flexible work arrangements, more high-potential women aspire to the senior executive/CEO level compared with firms without such arrangements.

Since the pandemic, professionals, especially women, have been loud and clear in voicing their desire for flexible work schedules. One survey found that two-thirds of employees would consider changing jobs if they had to go back to the office full time. Harvard Business Review calls flexibility the “key to retaining women.”

But while women want flexibility at work, we also can feel hesitancy about taking advantage of it. Many women worry that nontraditional working arrangements will keep them from getting promoted.

So how can we balance the benefits of flexible work schedules with being an effective leader?

Managing Assumptions and Expectations

Working fully or partially from home and working unconventional hours have become more common and more accepted during the pandemic. But that doesn’t mean everyone is on board.

You may still run into others' perceptions of what a typical workday should look like and what it says about you when you're doing something different.

During my last executive role at Deloitte, I incorporated some informal flexibility into my schedule. Some of my team members were in different time zones, and I had a 2-year-old son at home. So, it made sense for me to leave the office a little earlier in the afternoon, go home to spend some time with my son and then do some more work after he went to bed.

This was great for managing both my personal and professional priorities. But because of my after-hours emails, some of my team members, especially those in other cities, thought I worked nonstop and all the time. Even worse, they thought I expected them to keep similar long hours, which just wasn't the case.

The Hidden Messages in After-Hours Emails

As I discovered, when people get an email from you that has a time stamp that is outside regular business hours, it raises questions. I remember discussing this with a couple of clients, one who often works a few hours late at night and the other who starts before her small children wake up, often sending her first emails before 7 a.m.

Neither of these clients feels overworked or overwhelmed. In fact, they are well in control of their schedules and are far from burnout. But the optics of their email habits convey a different message to people who don’t understand their schedules. Their team members may assume (as my former colleagues did) that they:

• Are constantly checking email

• Expect their teams to work well beyond regular business hours

• Are approaching burnout and are up at all hours working

• Can’t effectively manage their workload, delegate or ask for help

If you put yourself in others’ shoes for a minute and reflect about your own behavior, what might it say to people about you?

Communicate Clearly About Your Schedule

Especially as we continue to experience an unpredictable work environment, don't leave it to others to draw their own conclusions about your capabilities or your stress level. Consider proactively sharing how the strategies you’ve implemented increase your productivity and effectiveness as a leader. Remember that most people have difficulty working in a way that is sustainable and sharing your approach may give them permission to start making changes.

That's what I did with my colleagues at Deloitte. When I realized that they thought I never unplugged, I knew that I needed to explain my approach and “connect the dots” for them. I told them that I wasn't always working — and that I didn't expect them to, either. I also encouraged them to adapt their schedules to fit their own needs (as long as business needs were also met).

But sometimes you may have to tweak your approach to better fit the culture. For example, if you frequently send emails outside of normal business hours, you may inadvertently set an expectation that others have to change the hours they work to accommodate you. So, unless it’s urgent, I suggest that you save your draft emails to send during business hours. This will reinforce your commitment to everyone working in a way that honors their personal and professional priorities. With burnout on the rise, that’s something your team really needs.

I want to challenge you to take 5-10 minutes to identify the assumptions people may be making about you, based on how you work. Are they taking away the right messages about your leadership? 

If you’re looking for ways that your organization can develop and support leaders as they navigate the challenges of hybrid work, I invite you to schedule a demo of my New Lens app. Unlike traditional approaches, New Lens makes learning digestible through bite-sized lessons that employees can access whenever and wherever they work.

4 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Energy

Recently, I shared a photo on LinkedIn that struck a chord with thousands of people. The photo shows a sign posted at an Indiana University Health facility which reads:

Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

Your words matter. Your behaviors matter. Our patients and our teams matter.

Take a slow, deep breath and make sure your energy is in check before entering.

Thank you.

I wonder if those words resonated with so many people because we all know what it’s like to be affected by someone else’s energy — for better or for worse.

As leaders, we have to watch the energy we project. We don’t have to be perfect but do have to remember that we’re always in the “invisible spotlight” and that our behavior and presence sets the tone for others. 

So how can you take ownership for the energy you bring as a leader — even when things get crazy and stressful? Here are a few strategies that consistently work for my executive coaching clients.

1. Take Care of Yourself

You can’t bring positive energy if you’ve depleted your own tank. Are you getting enough sleep, breaks, exercise or healthy food? Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking, “How can I possibly take time for ME right now when there’s so much to do?” But experience and research show that self-care will boost your productivity and help you better support others. Taking care of yourself is not “nice to have” but rather a critical leadership strategy that affects how you show up.

2. Notice Your Energy Patterns

To maximize your energy, plan your activities with your personal energy patterns in mind. For example, if you typically feel more energetic in the morning, complete your most challenging or creative work then. Don’t save it for when your energy is already drained. And don’t schedule most of your draining work activities on one day. Your body will always give you clues about when it’s time to walk away (such as headaches, back pain, fatigue, and the inability to focus) and give yourself a break.

3. Build Your Executive Presence

Think about all the times when someone else’s energy affected you. Their energy probably had less to do with what they said and more to do with how they said it – perhaps with an edge to their tone, impatience, or frustration. Before you dial into your next call or log into your next videoconference, ask yourself, “How do I want to show up? What energy do I want to bring?” By simply pausing to do this, it will affect your executive presence including your tone, body language, and energy.

4. Boost Your Confidence

Your confidence level significantly impacts how you show up with others. Sometimes, all it takes to give yourself a confidence boost is setting aside a little more time – even 15 minutes – to prepare more fully. Go beyond the subject matter to think through the audience, their potential questions and resistance, and your own presence. And remember that taking even 5 minutes a week to jot down a few of your accomplishments and the value they created for your organization, will build your confidence over time.

Your energy as a leader has a ripple effect on other people. I want to challenge you to identify one strategy that you will use to keep your energy in check this week. To take a deeper dive into the topics explored here — including self-care, boosting your energy, developing your executive presence, and building confidence — take a look at our tools and resources ranging from the New Lens® app to books and audio training to executive coaching.  You’ll find solutions that fit both your needs and your busy schedule.

The 5-Minute Strategy to Prepare for a Meeting

Meetings are opportunities to both advance your business goals and strengthen your personal brand as a leader. To make the most of every meeting, your preparation should include not just reviewing the subject matter, but also paying attention to the critical nuances that really drive success. Taking just five minutes to review these five questions can make a real difference in how your next meeting goes.

1. How Do You Want to Show Up?

If you only have time to think about one question from this article before your next meeting, make it this one.

Every meeting you attend affects how others perceive you as a leader. What do you want your colleagues to understand about your leadership? And how can you convey that through your presence and behavior during the meeting?

Also think about how you can align your demeanor with the qualities people associate with strong leadership. For example, if you tend to talk fast, you might be perceived as stressed and harried. So you can make a point at your meeting to speak in a way that sounds grounded.

2. How Will Others Show Up?

It's a pretty safe bet that the other people at your meeting are going to behave in the ways they typically do. Today is probably not going to be the day that your grumpy co-worker becomes optimistic or that the chronic interrupter starts allowing others to speak. If you go into the meeting expecting others will behave in their usual ways, you may take their actions less personally and be more open to engaging in a different way.

At the same time, though, it's important to be aware of any events or situations that could change how others show up. Does anyone attending have an especially heavy workload right now? Is anyone dealing with a family situation? If you have trouble answering questions like those about your colleagues, that could be a sign to start paying some extra attention to strengthening your relationships with them.

3. What Questions Might Others Have?

Many times, if someone questions your ideas, opinions or decisions at a meeting, it's because they don't understand the connection between your actions and the big picture of what's right for the organization. If you speak just about your (or your department’s) goals and priorities, others may wonder whether your motivation is self-serving. So, as you prepare for your meeting, think about how you can "connect the dots" and help others understand your intent if they ask questions.

4. What Resistance or Objections Might Arise?

Even if you're proposing something at this meeting that seems like it should be a slam dunk, take a moment to think about any obstacles you might run into. What concerns might the other meeting attendees have? Preparing for pushback will keep you from being blindsided and help you disagree without being disagreeable.

5. How Will You Respond to Those Objections?

If you do encounter resistance, you can respond to it in a way that helps others feel heard and respected even as you are trying to win them over to your way of thinking. Different people can be influenced in different ways. The Center for Creative Leadership identifies three styles of influencing: 

• Head – a logical appeal focused on organization and individual benefits and typically full of data and facts

• Heart – an emotional appeal linked to something the person cares about such as individual goals and values

• Hand – a cooperative appeal that offers collaboration, consultation and alliances

The best tactic, of course, depends on your audience. So consider which approaches would work best for the different people at your meeting.

If you have a few minutes right now, answer these questions for the next meeting you have coming up. Want more leadership strategies you can put to use immediately? Pick up a copy of my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." It will help you start taking small steps that lead to big results.

5 Ways to Self-Promote While Working Remotely

Is remote work making you feel out of sight, out of mind with your boss and other key leaders?

A recent article in Harvard Business Review argues that while working from home creates benefits like flexibility, it also carries unique pitfalls for women that can hold us back from promotions and pay raises.

In my last article, I gave you some tactics for dealing with one of those pitfalls: increasing demands at work and at home. This week, let's tackle another key question of our new WFH reality: How do you build relationships, get recognized for your contributions and advance your career when you and your colleagues can’t just run into each other in the office? Here are five of my best practices.

1. Track Your Accomplishments

I have always recommended keeping track of your successes. But it's now more important than ever. With our days so busy, it's easy to overlook all the ways you're creating value. So make it a point to regularly jot down your accomplishments — even if some of them don’t seem like a big deal. Then write down the impact of each accomplishment to help you notice its relevance.  You’ll find that even those small successes can have a big impact. For example, just one productive meeting with an influential leader can set the stage for a strong working relationship.

When you track your accomplishments, you will have them top of mind – which will make it easier to communicate them to others. Trust me, it's also a great morale booster as you realize the difference you’re making!

2. Strategically Communicate Your Value

After you start logging your accomplishments, the next step is to tell others about them. Don’t assume that others will simply notice your hard work and recognize you for it. Remember, your boss has a lot on her plate, too. "Tastefully tooting your own horn" isn't bragging. It's helping your boss understand all the ways you add value so that she can more fully leverage them.

Without the impromptu interactions that happen in an office, you have to be even more intentional about communicating your accomplishments and their significance. That could mean being ready to share one of your team’s successes on your next Zoom call. As a bonus, it also recognizes your team members. Or you could simply email your boss regular updates about your progress as an FYI (which she can easily forward to others).

3. Reframe Career Conversations

If your organization has gone through restructuring or downsizing, you might feel awkward about asking your boss for time to discuss your career goals. But you can do this in a way that's helpful for both of you.

As always, you're more likely to get promoted or achieve other career goals when you make clear to others that you're thinking about more than what you want. That's especially true today. Your boss will be more receptive when you frame your message more like this:

Given the recent organizational changes, how can I best use my skills and experience to make a difference? I want to continue to grow as a leader and add more value to the company. 

4. Remember What Works for You

While our work environment has changed, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to building relationships or raising your visibility. The same fundamental principles hold true. You may just need to adapt them a little for the work-at-home world.

That's the message I gave one of my former clients when we caught up recently. She had just started a new job and was worried about how to get to know her new colleagues and work effectively with them without ever meeting them face to face.

Here's the surprising thing: As an experienced executive in an externally facing role, she has built her career on her ability to successfully cultivate strong, authentic relationships. But during this period of significant change, she kept thinking about what may be difficult instead of focusing on what she already knows that can help her. 

Take a moment now to jot down strategies you have used to increase your visibility and advance your career so far. How would you adapt those strategies for the current environment? Some strategies you may not need to adapt at all. For example, you can establish a regular cadence of sharing one or two accomplishments each week, forward positive feedback you’ve received, or be fully present to engage more impactfully.

5. Keep Growing as a Leader

It's totally understandable if you haven't had a spare moment in the past six months to even consider professional development. But hopefully you've started to create some capacity in your schedule to reflect about where you are, where you want to go and how to get there. Investing in building your skills and expertise is one way to strategically advance your career, differentiate yourself and boost your confidence. 

Even before the pandemic, online learning opportunities were dramatically expanding. Think about the type of virtual experience that could help you develop your leadership skills. Start by checking out my WOW! (Women on the Way to peak performance) Program℠. I've delivered WOW! at top corporations, and it is now available as a self-paced program that you can complete on your own, with a colleague or through your own informal learning circle.

One Overlooked Behavior That Can Destroy Your Brand

A positive leadership brand takes time to build, but it can also be quickly destroyed. Today, I want to share one of the ways that I see people at all leadership levels erode their brand every day. 

Picture this scenario. You’re busy, life is moving at a fast pace, and your days are full of meetings. You get an email. Before you know it, it isn’t even visible on your screen because so many other emails have come in. The message requires a response, but for you it’s already out of sight and out of mind. A week or two goes by and the sender reluctantly forwards it to you again. And the same thing happens.

I understand that you’ve got a lot on your plate. But, in your flurry of activity, how often do you stop to consider the impact of your lack of responsiveness — in particular, the impact on your personal brand? 

If roles were reversed, what would go through your head if you didn’t get a response to your email? Initially, you may make excuses for the unresponsive person, such as that he or she:

• Didn’t see your message or forgot to reply. We all get too much email every day. It was just an oversight.

• Is really busy. It must be a hectic week.

• Is out of the office traveling or on vacation and forgot to put an out-of-office message in place.

But, over time, you may draw some big negative conclusions about the person, even if you initially had a more positive impression. 

You might assume that he or she is:

• Disrespectful of your time. You don’t have time to keep following up on this. 

• Disorganized and doesn’t know how to prioritize or keep track of things.

• Overwhelmed and unable to manage time effectively. 

• Not someone you can count on. Responsiveness and follow-through are such foundational expectations.

• Definitely not ready for more responsibility. If something this small takes so long, what would happen on the bigger, more important stuff?

You may not agree with these conclusions, and some of them may feel unfair. But these are very real possibilities depending on how long you have behaved this way. Although you may have perfectly valid reasons for taking so long to respond, at some point the other person just won’t care why.    

Lack of responsiveness and follow-through are simply not what you want to be known for. 

If you struggle with these behaviors, start by identifying one small step that you can take to get on top of them. Remember that a little bit of structure can go a long way. That could mean taking 15 minutes to prioritize each day, organizing email into folders (high, medium, low priority) as you get them, checking email at intervals and adding reminder flags to them, delegating to others who can respond or take action on your behalf, or getting some non-essential activities off your plate. Whatever it is, just get started and hold onto that positive brand that you have worked so hard to build.

The Fine Art of Influence

Influence has so many implications, from getting your ideas heard to getting the support and resources you need to implement them. For some, the fine art of influence comes naturally, but for most it requires concerted effort.

Let’s start by taking a look at a common definition of influence:

Influence is the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others. (Source: dictionary.com)

Well, who wouldn’t want to be a compelling force that affects what others think or do?! You might be thinking that this sounds more like manipulating others to get what you want. However, what I’m referring to is learning how to develop win/win scenarios that allow you to get traction by being authentic, considering what is important to others, and doing what’s right for your company.

For example, I have a client who is trying to take the performance of her organization to the next level but keeps getting tangled in a web of politics. She needs help from another group to get the results she wants, but hasn’t been able to influence them to collaborate. Her focus is not self-serving. She truly has the organization’s best interest in mind.

So, we zeroed in on one critical relationship that could influence my client’s results dramatically. Below is a list of questions that I asked her in the context of influencing a specific person to take action. These questions may help you the next time you want to exert more influence.

What are you really trying to accomplish?

First, be clear about what you want and why. It will help you better understand and communicate your underlying intent. For example, you may want someone to invite you to a specific leadership team meeting. On the surface, it might seem to the other person that you just want to schmooze, but in reality you have and want to share key information with the group so that they can make better business decisions. Clarifying and sharing your intent will lead you to make the request in a way that will help the other person understand the “so what.”

How are you perceived by the other person?

Your credibility and reputation impacts whether the other person notices or really hears what you want. So, take time to reflect about what the other person thinks of you and how her “filter” might affect what she thinks of your request.

In my client’s case, the other person thinks of her as smart, direct, and focused on doing the right thing. However, they don’t know each other well, so my client may need to reinforce some of those attributes in her communication.

What is important to the other person?

Asking this question will help you zero in on what motivates the other person. It could range from looking good to his boss, to wanting to get promoted, to achieving a specific goal, to working less. If you don’t know the answer to this question, talk to others who might.

Where is the common ground for you both?

This final step brings it all together by combining your intent with what matters to the other person. People tend to be much more receptive if they view your request as aligned with their goals and objectives. Think about how you can frame your request or what you want in this context.

By taking even a couple of minutes to think through these questions, you can dramatically shift how you frame an idea or make a request — and your influence on the outcome. It can be the difference between sounding nitpicky and self- serving vs. sounding focused on something that matters to you and the other person involved, and that brings value to the organization. Give it a shot and see what happens.

Do You Provide “Strategic Snapshots” of Your Performance?

If you’re like most people, you have a sense of what you want to accomplish when each day begins—and then the day “happens.” You may get diverted by unplanned issues and be left wondering, “What the heck happened?!”

No matter what is going on in your day, I urge you to think about the countless opportunities you have to showcase what you’re doing to add value and make a difference. I like to call this providing “strategic snapshots” of your performance. In my signature presentation “Getting the Visibility You Want” (aka, “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn”) and in my coaching, I offer a range of strategies on how to do this in a way that works for you.

Before I dive into giving you my tips, I want you to consider the following points as important context.

• We are all busy—usually too busy to notice how others are adding value and contributing on a day-to-day basis.

It’s not that we don’t want to notice; it’s just that our attention is divided. And your boss is probably no different from you in this respect. So, you have to help your boss notice how you’re making a difference. I’d like to say a mid-year or year-end discussion as part of your formal performance management process is enough—but it just isn’t. When I led Performance Management & Career Planning at Deloitte, I came to fully appreciate how often people are out of sync with their boss’s view of their performance.

• This isn’t about bragging.

At the end of the day, this is about sharing important information that can add value to your company and shape the direction of your career. Remember that as someone who has a personal stake in your performance and development, your boss needs to know how and what you’re doing. And others in the company can benefit from learning about how you overcame specific challenges and what led to your success.

So, here are three suggestions on how to provide “strategic snapshots” of your performance:

1. Be clear about what you want to be known for.

Your desired brand/reputation serves as important context and a filter for what to share with others. So, take the time to get clear about the 2-3 things you want people to think of when they think of you. This isn’t about trying to be someone you’re not. It’s about helping others understand what differentiates you and why that matters.

2. Notice the opportunities in front of you.

Before you go into a meeting, have a call with someone, or write an email, ask yourself, “How can I demonstrate how I’m adding value, or reinforce my desired brand in this interaction?” Every interaction may not afford this opportunity, but asking yourself this question will lead you to provide “strategic snapshots” of your performance more often.

3. Find an approach that fits your style.

As you know, some people have no problem telling others how they are adding value while others struggle because they don’t want to come across as arrogant, or self-promotion doesn’t fit with their cultural norms. So, don’t just adopt someone else’s approach. Take the time to think about what fits your personal style.

As a first step, think about a couple of accomplishments you’d like to share and how and why they have relevance and value to others. By going through this thought process you will present the information differently—less like bragging and more like information that others really need to know.

Remember that it’s up to you to consistently share and reinforce what you want others to know about your contributions (i.e., provide “strategic snapshots” of your performance) no matter how your day unfolds. And it doesn’t have to involve a huge effort or time commitment. You should know my mantra by now: “Small steps can lead to big results.”

Do You Have Strong Peer Relationships?

The importance of peer relationships keeps emerging as a theme with my clients. Strong leaders recognize that their leadership must extend beyond managing up and down; they must also manage effectively across the organization. Although it may not be on your radar screen, peers play an important role in providing perspective on your performance, no matter how far removed they may be from your do day-to-day activities.

Even if you don’t need much of your peers’ involvement to achieve your business results, most companies expect you to care about and invest in their success. An investment in your peers demonstrates your willingness to go beyond what matters in your microcosm of the world, to think about how you can make a difference in other parts of the company.

Ask yourself the following questions to quickly assess your peer relationships:

1. How well do you know your peers?

Using a scale of 1-10 (with 10 the highest), rate the strength of your relationship with each peer. Do you know what challenges your peers face, pressures they feel, or what goals are most critical to them? Based on this information and the strength of your relationship, with whom should you invest more time?

2. What do your peers think of you?

Do your peers view you as someone who is willing to give them support? To quickly assess this, think about how much time you spend listening, problem- solving, or brainstorming with your peers and the degree to which you think beyond your scope of responsibility.

3. What value can you offer to your peers?

As you consider your strengths, background, and experience, how can you leverage them for your peers? What can you offer in the context of what matters to them? If you don’t know enough about their priorities, find out.

As you contemplate your responses to the questions above, identify one peer relationship that you would like to strengthen in the next six months. Come up with a small step you will take this week to get the ball rolling, and remember that small steps can lead to big results

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Is Your Communication Style Undermining Your Credibility?

Every day you shape how others view your leadership, through how you communicate. You send messages directly and indirectly all the time. Although this sounds really obvious, most people don’t take time to think about how their communication style affects their credibility.

The biggest opportunities to improve how we communicate typically exist when we know exactly what we mean and are laser focused on our message, because this is when we may forget to provide important context. We can leave people confused or making incorrect assumptions about our intentions.

So, here are three important questions to ask yourself before you engage someone, or to have your team think through before they approach you:

1. What do I want the other person to do with the information?

When you approach someone with information, the first thing she typically wonders is, “Why are you telling me this?”

• Do you want me to take action? Help you problem-solve?

• Are you just giving me an update?

• Are you venting? Do you just need me to listen?

Remember to Connect the Dots for others to help them understand how the information impacts them and what you expect from them.

2. How important is this?

Next, ask yourself what level of priority the topic really warrants. Remember that by having a conversation focused on a single topic you may inadvertently give it more emphasis than you intended. Even the method of communication — face-to-face vs. phone or email — can convey relative importance.

Given the level of priority (high, medium, or low) what method and timing make sense? Should this topic be bundled with others? Can it wait to be discussed at a meeting you already have scheduled on another topic? Each approach communicates a different level of priority.

3. How can I connect this to the bigger picture?

Finally, consider the strategic significance of the information you want to share. If you are like most people, you have a bigger issue or business priority in mind even when you are “in the weeds.” How consistently do you make that connection for others in how you frame your message?

If you are in a leader’s office frequently talking about what seem like minor things at a surface level, it can undermine your credibility over time. Ensure the leader understands how each item relates to a bigger picture.

This week, I want to challenge you to think about these three questions as you communicate. Where do the biggest opportunities lie for you? What one step can you take to build your credibility through your communication style? Don’t forget that small steps can lead to big results.

© 2012 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

What Are Your Top Five?

Today, I want to challenge you to put the power of self-appreciation into play. It’s something people often overlook, but it can change how you “show up” and participate in everything you do. And, as you know, it’s hard to help others see the value you bring when you don’t have this information top of mind.

1. What are the Top Five things you appreciate about yourself?

For those of you high performers with a constant eye toward self- improvement, creating this Top Five list will help you simply notice what differentiates you and how you uniquely add value. For example, your list might include the following:

• "I am a quick study."

• "I enjoy learning and growing."

• "I am authentic."

• "I am tenacious."

• "I am fun to be around."

If you have a hard time limiting your list to five, keep going!

2. How do the Top Five make a difference?

Next, write down how the Top Five allow you to do things others can’t easily do. For example, as a quick study and someone who enjoys learning, you may dive into opportunities that stretch you beyond your comfort zone. For your company, this means that they can put you in challenging situations and you will quickly figure out what you need to do and how to add value. Even if you have been doing this for years, remember that not everyone has this ability.

3. How will you put your Top Five into play even more?

So, now that you have your Top Five list and the "so what" of each item on the list, think about what's going on in your world – personally and professionally.

• How can you leverage your Top Five to make a bigger difference?

• Who could use your help?

• How can you reframe your ideas to make your Top Five more obvious to others, so they can benefit from them?

This week, take 5-10 minutes to answer at least the first two questions above. It will get your wheels turning and you will start “showing up” differently as you consider what you have to offer. Remember that small steps can lead to big results – and the first step here is to simply appreciate what you bring to the table.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Put Your Network to Work

When people think of networking, they often think about how to expand the size of their network. But you can also harness the power of your existing network to achieve your goals.

Take the example of my client Susan. When I began coaching her, Susan was frustrated with her job and was ready to make a career change. However, she had been so focused on doing her day-to-day work that she had invested little to no time maintaining or building her network within or outside the company. Sound familiar? Read on to learn more about the process we used to help her make a change and put her network to work:

1. Brainstorm a list of five contacts who can help in the context of your specific goal.

After outlining Susan’s ideal next role in marketing, we brainstormed names of five individuals to whom she should reach out. I challenged her to think about personal and professional relationships. Just taking ten minutes to go through this exercise helped Susan think of people she had completely overlooked.

2. Determine the current and desired strength of your relationship with them.

Using a scale of 0-10, we rated the strength of Susan’s existing relationships with each of these five individuals. She rated the people she had very strong relationships with already a 10, while those she had never met were rated a 0. We used the same scale to determine what she wanted the strength of each relationship to become over the next six months to a year. These ratings helped her focus and prioritize her efforts.

3. Identify someone who can introduce you to the people you have not met.

For the individual Susan did not personally know on her list, she identified someone in her current network who knew him or could at least help identify the right next step to meet him.

4. Develop specific relationship-building strategies by person.

Next, Susan and I brainstormed at least one or two strategies to further build the relationships with each of the five individuals. Sometimes, this is where people get stuck — especially if they already feel pressed for time. But networking doesn’t have to be time-consuming. It can be as simple as sending someone an article that’s relevant to her, sharing information on an upcoming event she may want to attend, making a point to introduce yourself at a meeting, or asking her for a 15-minute meeting to get career advice or her input about something you’re working on.

Just remember that the goal is to network in a way that is authentic for you and leaves a positive impression. So, as you develop these strategies, think about what you want the other person to remember about you.

5. Set deadlines for each strategy.

Finally, to really put some accountability in place, I asked Susan to set deadlines for each of the networking strategies she identified. This helped her maintain focus and track progress.

Susan put her network to work and got her dream job (which was also a promotion for her) in three months! She moved into a very different type of role than she had held in the past. Even though this example is about career transition, the steps above can be applied to any goal. How do you want to put your network to work?

3 Ways to Build Trust With Colleagues

Authenticity often comes up as a theme with my clients. As leaders, to get anything done we have to work with and through others. That is so much harder to do if our colleagues question our intentions.

Take a look at the three questions below to better understand how you “show up” and what that might say about your authenticity.

1. Is what you say in sync with what you do? Take this example: You and a colleague agree on a course of action. In later discussions with others, you find out more information, realize that your original plan isn’t optimal, and set a new one. The next day, your colleague is caught off guard, hearing about your new plan at a meeting. Although you had good business reasons for changing direction, she now questions your motives. To prevent this from happening to you, don’t forget to close the loop to ensure that your actions and your intent are well understood.

2. Do you always walk in with an agenda? A drive for results can often cause this common misstep. Are you more focused on getting what you need from the other person, forgetting to assess what’s going on in his world and adjusting accordingly? Remember to be in the moment and be flexible. Is this really the right time to press forward with what you need, or does the person in front of you need something else right now?

3. Have you truly invested time to get to know your colleagues? Taking just a few minutes a week to find out what’s going on personally or professionally with colleagues or to offer help can go a long way. It will communicate a genuine interest and will increase their responsiveness when you need something.

From the questions above, choose one area to focus on in your interactions this week. You may find that minor tweaks to your approach can make a major difference in building trust. Remember small steps can lead to big results.

Top Women Leaders Share Their Advice

In honor of Women's History Month, Newberry Executive Solutions sponsored the Texas Women in Business segment which aired on WBAP/KLIF radio in Dallas. These segments featured interviews with some of the most inspiring women leaders I know. Here is just a sampling of the advice and insights.

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"Women should focus on the things that give them energy and make them want to get to work every day."

"Don’t underestimate the importance of having the right people in your corner to help you."

—Donna Epps

Partner, Deloitte Financial Advisory Services LLP

"I took on tough roles no one else wanted and then focused on demonstrating results within them."

"Be known for your unique skill set or the way you get things done."

— Nancy Loewe

Senior vice president and chief strategy officer, Kimberly-Clark Corp.

"I think about my relationships as a bank account. In order to make withdrawals from that relationship account, you have to take the time to make lots of deposits. I remind myself every day I benefit from people who were willing to sponsor and mentor me along the way."

"When you make a decision, embrace it and don’t lose sleep thinking about 'what if.'"

— Deborah Gibbins

Chief financial officer, Mary Kay Inc.

"The best leaders don’t necessarily have the best answers, but are highly skilled at knowing the right one when they see it."

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but few will capture your heart.  Pursue those."

— Debbie Storey

Senior vice president talent development and chief diversity officer, AT&T

"Find the place where you can excel. Each of us has strengths and passions, so figure out what role will allow you to leverage your strengths the majority of the time."

"Don’t sacrifice anything you believe in – especially your values and family."

— Lisa Amoroso

Senior director, Diversity and Inclusion, Frito-Lay North America

I want to express my gratitude to all the leaders who took part in this series. Listen to each of their 1-minute audio segments here. I hope that you'll be as inspired by their wisdom as I have been.

For more ideas on developing your leadership, take advantage of our special offer in March for the WOW! Highlight AudioSM. It gives you a sample of proven strategies and tips from all six modules of the full WOW! WomenOn theWay to Peak Performance ProgramSM and this month it's only $97 (a $100 savings).

Build Your Personal Brand by Claiming the Spotlight

You've heard me make the case for "tastefully tooting your own horn" as a way to build your personal brand. Well, recently, I got a chance to take this to a whole new level for myself – one way outside my comfort zone. At the tail end of 2014, I found out I was a finalist in four categories for the Stevie Awards for Women in Business.

Initially, I didn’t even consider going to the awards ceremony in New York, and the thought of stepping into that kind of spotlight made me really uncomfortable.

But then I had a change of heart during a conversation with my executive coach. As we talked, I realized the importance of raising the visibility of my personal brand. People who know me well know how much I care about having a bigger impact – to reach more people, give them valuable resources and make a difference. I realized that this would be an important step in that direction. So I bought a plane ticket and headed for New York.

I was surprised at how vulnerable I felt about the whole thing. After all, in a situation like this you are being evaluated by a panel of judges and compared to your peers. And not everyone goes home with an award. So, it was a big deal for me to show up at the awards ceremony, and it was an even bigger deal to take a friend along. I went into that evening figuring I had no chance at gold, and certainly no need to prepare an acceptance speech. The Stevies drew 12,000 nominations from more than 20 countries.

Early in the evening, though, things began to unfold differently than I had predicted: I won a gold award! By the time the whirlwind of an evening was over, I had two gold awards: Mentor and Coach of the Year-Business and Female Entrepreneur of the Year for businesses in my size and category. I also came away with one silver award and one bronze. Because I was seated with honorees from PepsiCo and AT&T, two of my clients, I had my own cheering section. By the end of the night, I was excited — and drained (in fact, too drained to go and celebrate that night in NYC)! When I got back to Dallas, my executive coach laughed out loud when I told her I “survived” my awards ceremony.

This story might surprise you, given how often I’m in the spotlight speaking and presenting and successfully coaching others on tasteful self-promotion. But being in this kind of spotlight was really different, and stretched me in new ways. I am so glad I went, and I urge you to find opportunities to step out, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Here's why:

• We all need to acknowledge and celebrate success. As high performers, we often push ahead to the next project without pausing to notice the impact of what we've already done and how many people we've affected. As I reflected about my company’s growth and performance, I realized how many lives we have touched and in what way. If I didn’t have to find a way to fit four awards in my luggage, I’m not sure I would have really noticed in the way I did that night.

• Increasing your own visibility can help others. To tap into your knowledge and strengths, people have to know what you have to offer! Look for opportunities to showcase your value, impact, and skills so that others can leverage and learn from them, and you can make a bigger difference.

• Being open to the possibilities can take you to places you never expected. I had to really stretch to put myself in a situation that might not have gone as well as I'd hoped. It has taught me lessons that will benefit me and my clients.

If you normally shy away from the spotlight, think about how you can step out more in 2015. Maybe it's applying for an award; maybe it's taking on a high-visibility role or project that scares you. Get motivated with my videos on self-promotion as a way to build your personal brand or the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklet "Strategically Standing Out." And remember, small steps can lead to big results.

P.S. Check out the full list of Stevie Awards for Women in Business winners.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

How Well Do You Toot Your Own Horn?

In April, we’re celebrating how your uniqueness is the key to your success. And while we’re at it, we want to encourage you to “toot your own horn” more about those successes.  

We’ve talked before about how self-promotion isn’t selfish if you’re providing your boss and others valuable info about your work and why you can’t assume that your accomplishments will speak from themselves.

This week, look a little more closely at how you’re doing with self-promotion. Which of these profiles best describes you?

Active self-promoter. You regularly put yourself out there to share valuable information about your results and how you are getting them. You know the right people to connect with and you focus on staying visible to them. The challenge for you may be to do this without coming across as self-centered.

Selective self-promoter. You get that self-promotion is important, but you have difficulty doing it on a consistent basis. Like many others, your activities here may be more externally driven (i.e., by the timing of promotion and pay decisions, restructuring at your company, or other events that drive the need to communicate more about your performance).

Heads-down worker. Your mindset is “I just need to get my work done.” You value results and quality, and you believe that if you do a good job people will notice (see our previous blog on why that’s not necessarily so). You may quickly dismiss self-promotion as a “game” that you don’t want to play.

Praise deflector. Do you have a shield that redirects any compliments you receive (“Ellen was the one who really made the project work!”) or minimizes your accomplishment (“Meeting that deadline wasn’t really a big deal.”)? If so, be mindful of the messages you are indirectly sending to others about your performance.

Most people tend to fall in the middle two categories. Active self-promoters and praise deflectors are more rare. You may also find that you fall into a couple of categories. If so, pay attention to how you are showing up and with whom.

This week, take a few minutes to simply notice how often you take opportunities to share your accomplishment and results with others. Where would you like to be on the self-promotion scale above?

This article is adapted from our video “Assess How Well You Toot Your Own Horn Today.” You can find it and other videos from our “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn” series on the Learn page of our website.

Self-Promotion Isn’t Selfish

This month, we’ve been exploring how to be bold about your unique strengths. Part of being bold, of course, is letting others know about those strengths and your accomplishments. Self-promotion makes some of us uneasy, so I want to debunk some of the negative stereotypes about it you may have.

“Bragging is self-centered.” Sharing information about what you’ve accomplished can be relevant and useful to others. Take your boss. Her job includes both leveraging your talents for the company and helping you develop. To do those things, she needs to hear about your strengths, talents and successes.

“My accomplishments should speak for themselves.” We all have lots of lots of people and priorities clamoring for our attention. Even when your boss or a client intends to note your successes, sometimes they’ll slip by unless you share them.

“I don’t have time to self-promote.” Making others aware of your strengths and successes isn’t an “extra,” it’s essential to your job.

These points are part of our video “Change How You View Self-Promotion.” You can find it and other videos from our “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn” series on the Learn page of our website.

Ready to go more in-depth on this topic? You’ll find more advice on effective, tactful self-promotion in our WOW! ProgramSM and WOW! Highlight AudioSM, as well as the book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.”

Do You Have Executive Presence?

Everyone has his or her own ideas about what executive presence looks and sounds like. Regardless of what someone’s personal definition may be, let’s look at three areas that can affect whether others consider you to be executive material:

1. Strategic focus

I constantly hear senior leaders noticing the difference between people who think strategically and those who focus more on tactics. Your ability to consistently tie what you say and do to what matters to the business can help others see that you “get it” – that you understand the big picture and won’t get derailed by details. Ask yourself how often you intentionally make these connections for others.

2. Confidence

I’m sure you’ve come across people who can be very convincing even when they are way beyond their scope of expertise. Remember that it is often less about what they say and more about how they say it. Think about yourself for a minute. How often does your tone convey a strong sense of conviction, high energy, or confidence? How does your body language add to or detract from your message? Nuances like this can make a big difference.

3. Competence

Your ability to integrate your life experiences into your message can quickly help others understand what you bring to the table – and why it matters. Integrating short contextual phrases helps others understand your strengths and skills and their relevance to the business. Take this brief example: “I learned three key principles from my experience marketing global products and brands. One of those applies to this situation today.”

At the end of the day, you may believe that you are strategically focused, confident, and competent. But the question is whether others see you that way. So, this week I urge you to take one small step, whether it’s asking others for feedback or focusing on one of the three areas above. I have found that starting with tweaks to how and what you communicate can dramatically affect your executive presence. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Little Things Can Say A Lot

As an executive coach working with high-performing leaders, I regularly hear candid feedback about my clients, often information that no one has shared with them. Over the years, I have noticed how managers can draw big conclusions about their direct reports based on the “little things” they do. Unfortunately, most people can’t see their own detracting behaviors unless someone points them out. Take a look at the examples below, note which ones you do, and the indirect messages those behaviors may be sending. If you’re unsure whether some of these apply to you, ask others you trust.

1. Nervous Habits

• Fidget with or flip your hair

• Shake your leg when sitting

• Tap a pen or the table

• Keep checking your phone

What these behaviors may tell others: You can’t focus, are nervous, or would rather spend your time elsewhere.

2. Presentation style

• Casually lean against something (e.g. podium, chair, etc.) when presenting

• Present seated instead of standing

• Let others take over or divert a discussion you are leading

• Focus more on detail than headlines/key messages

What these behaviors may tell others: You don’t understand the importance of the meeting, have the influence and capability to command a room, have confidence, or see the big picture.

3. Use of time

• Consistently run over in one-on-one or group meetings

• Spend too much time on topics outside the scope of the discussion (e.g., personal or business) before you cover the agenda items

• Have difficulty adjusting your approach when your presentation time gets compressed

What these may tell others: You lack time management skills, can’t manage your workload effectively, are not ready to take on more responsibility, or don’t respect others’ time.

Each of these behaviors should be considered in the context of your working environment, the company culture and what’s expected. If you engage in some of these behaviors, ask yourself (and possibly others) how they serve you or get in your way. That will help you decide what action to take, if any.

The point is to raise your awareness and make an intentional choice that aligns with your desired leadership brand. So, this week, ask others for feedback and identify one small step you will take to convey the right message to others about your capabilities. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.

Is That Meeting Really Optional?

A theme has recently emerged with several of my clients. Some have expressed frustration when one of their direct reports misses a meeting that they consider to be important. I have also heard about this from the other vantage point, from my clients who have opted out of meetings like this when a legitimate scheduling conflict arises – and they just don't understand why it is a problem. Although it may seem minor in the grand scheme of things, remember that people draw conclusions about you from the small snapshots they see. They may not have time to explore what led to your decision, or to challenge their own conclusions about your decision, because of the competing demands on their time and attention.

So when you decline a meeting that your boss considers to be important, you may inadvertently send the wrong message – one that raises questions about your level of engagement, ability to manage your time effectively, or understanding of key priorities.

Here are three tips to help others take the right messages away:

1. Reverse roles

Put yourself in your boss's shoes. Even if you don't think missing that meeting is a big deal, your boss might. What is it really about for her? Perhaps it's less about the topics to be discussed and more about you showing your support, by making time to be there or contributing your valuable ideas. There is usually something bigger at play, so challenge yourself to notice it.

2. Clarify your underlying intent

If you decline a meeting, be sure to convey your underlying intent and distill it down to a few key messages. It could be this simple: you want to be there, you understand the importance of the meeting, and you are trying to balance it with moving another competing priority forward.

If you can't attend because you are spread too thin, then it may be time to reexamine how to leverage others or explore other strategies (perhaps with your boss).

3. Take responsibility for your absence

Have a game plan ahead of time, so that someone is prepared to share your input at the meeting and to give you a debrief afterwards. Sharing this with your boss may put her at ease. In some cases, your boss may want to be the person to update you on what you missed. Just be mindful not to create more work for her to do so.

I hope this article got you thinking about what you may be inadvertently communicating. Start by using the three tips as a checklist to help you notice what you already do well or may need to do more of, to send the right messages about your leadership.

© 2013 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.