Newberry Solutions in Forbes

If you follow me on LinkedIn, you know that I’ve become a regular contributor to Forbes through the Forbes Coaches Council. I love being part of this because it allows Newberry Solutions to have a bigger impact by sharing our proven strategies on a broader platform. 

Today I want to share the recent advice and insights that I and other coaches have shared. If any of these articles leave you wanting to learn more, you’ll also find links to additional resources from this blog.

Shift to a Positive Mindset

In the article “15 Hacks For Pessimists To Switch To A More Positive Point Of View,” I talked about how to notice your thoughts and feelings to recognize and combat your negative self-talk.

Learn more: “How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk.”

Cope with Change

We’ve all had to become more adaptable over the past few years. In the article “14 Coaches Explore What It Looks Like To Become An ‘Agile’ Leader, “ I stressed the importance of staying centered amid change.

Learn more: “5 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Centered Fast.”

Practice Empathy

Success is about relationships, and that includes relationships with customers or clients. So the topic “16 Ways To Treat Customers Like Humans Instead Of Numbers” is an important one.

Learn more: “Are You Being Strategic About Relationships?”

Network Effectively

What’s the best way to introduce yourself at your next networking event? I explain in the article  “14 Steps To Take A Networking Pitch To The Next Level.”

Learn More: “Networking for Results.”

Avoid DEI Mistakes

“11 Potentially Brand-Damaging Mistakes Corporations Make With DEI Initiatives” is a timely topic as more organizations put a stronger emphasis on diversity, equity and inclusion. As I point out in this article, commitments and allocation of resources must be aligned.

Learn more: “5 Eye-Opening Findings on Women at Work.”

Support Mental Health for All

Along with DEI, companies are also increasing attention on employee well-being. As the article  “How C-Level Leaders Can Address The Mental Health Needs Of Underserved Demographics” points out, this requires more than a one-size-fits-all approach. Different cultures in the workplace have different attitudes about seeking help with mental health.

Learn more: “What is Silencing? (And Why Your Company Must Care About It).”

Speak Up

Introverts have so much value to add to the workplace. The tips from me and other coaches in the article “How More Reserved Employees Can Make Their Voices Heard” will help you bring that value in a way that works for you.

Learn more: “Are You Keeping Your Gold Mine of Ideas to Yourself?”

Talk Face to Face

There’s a lot to navigate in this new world of hybrid work, including the best forms of communication in different situations. The article “14 Examples Where In-Person Communication Is Better Than Virtual At Work” is a guide that all leaders can use.

Learn more: “How to Deliver Tough Messages.”

Protect Your Capacity

Saying “yes” to everything has a cost. If you tend to keep your plate too full, check out the article “16 Ways Professionals Can Avoid Overcommitting Themselves At Work.”

Learn more: “4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over.”

Keep this roundup as a valuable resource for you, and share it with others. If these Forbes Coaches Council articles have you curious about what coaching can do for you or your organization, I invite you to explore our products and services, including the New Lens app. New Lens can help you bring the power of coaching to more employees, even when budgets and schedules are tight. Set up a demo now.

Bring Your 2022 Theme to Life

At the beginning of this year, I wrote in a LinkedIn post that I had chosen “ease” as my theme word for 2022. That sparked a great discussion about your theme words for the coming year. I loved the thoughtfulness behind what you chose, so I wanted to share some of the themes here along with resources to support each one.

Photo by Tj Holowaychuk on Unsplash

Peace

As I wrote recently, the leaders who stand out now are the ones who can show up in a calm and centered way. To do this, cultivate your own sense of inner peace. If your inner monologue of negative self-talk has you agitated, try these strategies for stopping the loop.

Pause

If you’re a regular reader, you already know that I am a big believer in the power of “the pause.” In today’s work environment, giving yourself some breathing room matters more than ever. Having trouble allowing yourself to slow down? Even a small break to notice what’s going on for you physically and mentally can help you course-correct and be more productive.

Simplify

The beauty of “simplify” as a theme word is that it can apply to so many situations. For example, reducing your physical and mental clutter can give you an energy boost while simplifying the way you communicate can build your executive presence.

Fairness 

This is a word we should all take to heart in 2022. The most recent Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In pointed out areas of inequity for women, especially women of color. Think about some ways you could make a difference for women at work. For example, help raise the visibility of qualified women who should be considered for opportunities.

Purposeful

As a coach who helps leaders get results through purpose, presence and power, “purposeful” gets me excited. To be more purposeful, take a moment to clarify what really matters most. Then redirect your time to making the highest and best use of your talents and skills in those critical areas.

If you have a theme word for 2022, I invite you to share it on my LinkedIn page. Looking for additional support to grow as a leader this year? Consider executive coaching with me or explore my self-paced tools, including the award-winning New Lens app.

How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

I’m usually a positive person, but earlier this summer, I noticed that my inner voice (and sometimes my outer one!) was starting to drone on like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 

During my treatment for and recovery from cancer, I was vigilant about maintaining a positive mindset and keeping people with positive energy around me. But as the ongoing challenges of recovery and a global pandemic continued, I found it hard to consistently be positive. My attention shifted more to my fatigue and desire for things to be different.

Photo by Julia Avamotive from Pexels

What I experienced is sometimes called ruminative thinking. The thing about rumination is that the more you do it, the easier it is to keep doing it.

I knew I needed more than resilience tools to snap me out of the cycle. A vacation did the trick. It was my first “real” time off in a year and a half, where I could unplug instead of dealing with medical issues. And it allowed me to break the loop of negative thoughts and feel like myself again. 

After vacation, I had the mental energy to start using the resilience tools that I know work for me. And I discovered that many of my clients couldn’t seem to shut off their negative thoughts. It’s understandable, given that stressful events can lead to rumination. And we’ve certainly had no shortage of stress lately! But when negative thoughts start spiraling, you can break the cycle. Here are a few strategies to try.

Give Your Brain a Break

Shaking things up and taking a break from the grind of daily routines can reboot your brain – especially if you focus on what energizes you.

I did this by using my vacation to reconnect with close friends, get out in nature, and challenge myself — hiking, rafting, ziplining and other outdoorsy adventures. Being in the middle of nowhere and away from my technology helped me unplug. Researchers have found that a 90-minute walk in nature or exercise reduces ruminative thinking. Learning is another research-backed way to short-circuit rumination because it helps you focus your thoughts on the moment. For my son and I, learning to fly fish did the trick.

How can you shake things up and recharge? Even a one-day staycation can be mentally invigorating. Do something to get you out of your daily patterns and reconnect you with your authentic self.

Honor Your Feelings

Until you can make time for a break, you can turn down the volume on your ruminative thoughts.

I work with high performers, who often use logic as a key driver in how they approach the world. Logic is valuable but you can’t rationalize your way out of a loop of negative thinking.

Your logical mind may tell you that it makes more sense to forget about whatever is bothering you and just move on. But your emotional mind won’t let go as easily. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of your feelings, see what happens when you acknowledge what’s happening. By giving yourself permission to feel the way that you do — even if you don’t want to feel those emotions – you will move through your emotions more quickly.

Enlist Some Help

Get an outside perspective to help you stop ruminating. Ask someone whom you trust and who will be honest with you to help you snap out of negative thinking. Give them some guidance about how to help you in advance. For example, tell them that if they notice you complaining about the same things over and over, to remind you of the tools and tactics that help you feel more resilient. Below are some resources you can have on hand for when you need them.

• How to Discover Your Resilience

• Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

• How to Move Forward Amid Uncertainty

• 10 Ways to Use Your Body to Change Your Mind

• How to Overcome Negative Feelings

Remember that the goal isn’t to stop negative self-talk from ever happening. It’s to help you break the cycle more quickly. If you’ve found yourself ruminating lately, what’s the first step you will take this week to make a shift?

How to Set Yourself Up for Success

Over the past few weeks, I've shared a series of articles about taking stock of where you are, what you're really about and what you want to create for yourself. We've talked about getting unstuck, defining success on your own terms and using passion to overcome fear.

No matter what you're working toward in your life, there's one more factor that can make a big difference in whether you achieve it: the messages you hear from both yourself and others.

Talk Back to Your 'Gremlins'

Some of the most important words you need to hear will come from you – the everyday messages and stories you tell yourself. When you're making a change in your life, the negative voices in your head can really kick into overdrive. I call them our "gremlins." Your gremlins might be pretty harsh, especially if you typically expect a lot from yourself. Maybe you’re thinking about leaving your company for new opportunities, but your gremlin keeps saying, “You’ll never find a job that is better than this one. You’re crazy to leave this well-paid position and start over somewhere else.”

But it's important to realize our gremlins are notoriously unreliable. Usually they're just our fear of change trying to be heard. And they'll pipe down when you talk back to them. You can do that by reminding yourself of your strengths, your past successes and the positive feedback you consistently receive. Replace your gremlins' doom-and-gloom stories with more empowering ones. This takes practice, but it works.

Build Your Support System

No matter how great a cheerleader you are for yourself, you need support from other people, too. Get the right supporters by your side and let them know how they can best lift you up. Spend time with people who energize you, especially if there are other people in your life who drain your energy. You might even discover that you need to add more passionate, motivated people to your circle and let go of some people who leave you depleted.

And no matter what career stage you are in, seek out mentors who can help you with the goals that are important to you now. To think and play bigger, you need to interact with people who can offer you fresh ideas, experiences and perspectives.

Take a couple of moments now to think about the messages you need to hear from both yourself and others as you work toward your goals. What's one step you can take this week to either give yourself more support or to accept more support from others? As you consider this question, I invite you to explore the tools that Newberry Executive Solutions offers to help you keep building your success.