Stop Clashes that Stall Your Team

In this day and age, we all work in teams. There’s no getting away from it. Have you ever felt stuck in the middle when two of your team members can’t seem to get along?  

This kind of clash often creates silos and workarounds as people try to avoid each other, or suboptimal solutions because team members haven’t engaged in the right level of collaboration. It can put leaders in awkward situations, especially if they dislike conflict or expect their teams to just work it out.

As a leader, what you say and do in situations like this speaks volumes. Remember that you are always in the invisible spotlight. If you allow the situation to continue, people start wondering if you really know how to lead others. If you’re too involved in resolving the issue, people may ask if you know how to help your team members develop and grow.  Although there’s no cookie-cutter solution, let me share an example from one my executive coaching clients that may give you some insight.

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Reset Expectations and Focus on Common Goals

My client, Joe, had two team members who just couldn't get along, let alone collaborate to deliver a project. Almost every week, one of them would go to Joe and complain about the other team member. Not only did this create a negative work environment, it also took far too much of Joe’s valuable time. And with Joe in the center of the communication, it was easy for his employees to avoid each other and engage in passive-aggressive behavior, but difficult for Joe to figure out what was really going on.

Joe knew that something had to change. So, we evaluated his role in the process. As long as he continued to meet individually with each team member, we knew this endless cycle would continue. To shift the dynamics, he decided to meet with both team members together to tackle the situation head on.

Joe acknowledged the differences in his team members’ working styles but also shared what he saw as their complementary strengths and experiences, and what they could learn from each other. He then clarified the criteria for a successful project, to refocus them on a common definition of success and the business results he expected them to deliver.

By the end of the meeting, he had cleared the air, refocused the team members on common goals, and shared how they could benefit from a better working relationship.

Let Go of Owning the Solution

Finally, we examined who really owned the resolution of the issues at hand. In this case it was Joe, not his employees.  Resisting the temptation to take over, he gave ownership of the solution back to them. He let them know that he expected them to work together, and when and how to engage him if they needed his support and guidance. In other words, he expected them to make a good faith effort to first resolve the issues themselves. He and HR were additional resources.

This week, think about whether any tension is brewing within your team. What can you do to get your team members back to a more constructive place? Do you need to evaluate your role, reset expectations, communicate shared goals, or shift ownership of the solution? Sometimes people simply need to know that, as their boss, you’ve noticed the problem and something has to change.

You can find more advice like this in the booklet "Building a Stronger a Team," part of my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

P.S. Know another leader who's grappling with a team conflict? Forward this article as a resource.

4 Key Strategies to Prepare for the Changes Ahead

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We never know exactly what's ahead. But I can tell you a couple of things for certain: First, you'll deal with change in some form in your job this year. But you can still have an impact no matter how much changes if you follow these four strategies.  1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

The key to managing through change is managing yourself. If the changes you're going through stir up strong emotions, you may think you just need to "suck it up" and soldier on. But that's not the most effective strategy.

Instead, take a timeout and ask yourself “What am I feeling?" Find a safe way to let it all out, uncensored. It’s OK to feel how you feel! Acknowledging and naming your emotions, whatever they are, helps you process them and move forward.

2. Analyze Your Stories

It's also helpful to notice what stories you're telling yourself about this change. For example, maybe you've created a story that your boss doesn't care about you because she hasn't reassured you about a restructuring at your office.

The next step is looking the evidence to better understand your stories and whether they're accurate. When you step back a little, you might realize that your boss hasn't been as supportive as she usually is just because she's overwhelmed.

Taking this time to work through your emotions and examine your perceptions should give you a greater sense of control about how you handle the changes in your workplace.

3. Keep Your Energy Up

When you're in the midst of change and transition, it's more important than ever to manage your energy. If you have tasks and events on your calendar that you know will drain your energy, plan to counter them with some activities that will help you recharge.

You can also get positive energy from your connections to others. Cultivate a support system among your colleagues to lift each other up.

4. Remember What's Constant

Finally, it helps to reconnect with a key truth that we often overlook when work gets tumultuous. Even when a lot is changing, some things will remain constant. It can help to focus on those (and, if you're a leader, to help your team focus on them as well). For example, maybe your company is changing its leadership structure, but the values and priorities that drive your work remain the same.

Whatever 2017 brings for your career, I'm here to help you navigate from a place of purpose, presence and power. Our leadership development products can show you how to meet any challenge and get where you want to go as a leader faster.  

Leave the Baggage Behind and Take the Gems with You

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As we end this year, I want to leave you with two questions that I ask my clients:  

• What do you want to leave behind from 2016?

Is there something you experienced this year that taught you about something you should steer clear of going forward? A type of situation you don’t want to find yourself in again? Or a painful but invaluable lesson that you learned?

• What do you want to take forward into 2017?

Building on our last post, what enabled you to achieve the successes you did?  Of those practices, what do you want to put into play in a bigger way? What do you want to teach others, so that you can have a bigger ripple effect? What kind of work motivates you? What kind of people?

We all have important lessons from this year. Take a few minutes to remember them, and make a conscious decision to take them into 2017.

Don’t Miss the Chance to Give with Impact

This time of year, I am reminded of how much I already have – and how much I can impact the lives of others. This holiday season, I encourage you to give with impact. Here are two opportunities you don’t want to miss.  

Dallas Children’s Theater

As one of the top 5 theaters for youth in the US, Dallas Children's Theater produces engaging educational plays that promote social values, moral integrity, and cultural diversity. DCT's pioneering efforts to develop innovative “arts-in-education” programs have equipped Dallas-area schools with a powerful resource. DCT also provides up to 10,000 free or reduced fee tickets for children in low-income neighborhoods.

DCT

Support childhood education and get creative with your gift-giving

• Dedicate a performance to a loved one for $250

This includes an announcement of the dedication*, a certificate indicating the declaration of honoree’s official day, recognition in DCT materials and social media, a show poster signed by the entire cast, a special gift from the DCT store, and a youth admission ticket to an upcoming DCT show**.

*some productions excluded. **applied to new ticket orders only

Buy this gift online at dct.org/dedicate

• Sponsor an actor or character for $1,000

This includes a backstage tour, an autographed photo of their sponsored performer, and much more. Contact Michael Gonzales at michael.gonzales@dct.org or 214-978-0110 to buy your gift.

• Make a tax-deductible donation in someone’s name for $25, $50, $100 or more.

You choose the amount.  Donate online at dct.org/give

Akola

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Akola empowers economically disadvantaged women through the income and skills they gain in making Akola's jewelry. At Akola, each necklace made represents a single woman and a single story. Each necklace empowers the woman who made it to actually re-design their stories to become ones read with dignity, grace and honor.

Over the last seven years, the Akola Project has blossomed into a thriving social business that empowers women across the globe. Shop with a purpose this season and give beautiful handmade pieces that not only give back, but that tell a powerful story.

Give the gift of beauty and empowerment.  Shop at http://akolaproject.org/

Akola is a full-impact brand, reinvesting 100% of the proceeds in supporting the women.

How to Stop Tolerating Underperformance

It's a trap I see leaders fall into all too often. They have a team member who just doesn't deliver. But they keep tolerating it.  

What holds them back?

“I just don’t have the time or energy to deal with this (the problem employee) right now.”

“There are bigger issues to deal with! I’ll get to this later.”

“I don’t know where to start to solve this problem.”

As the situation drags on, it creates bigger issues. The quality of the team's work suffers, other team members begin to grow resentful and the team member fails to get much-needed feedback and coaching. Or, even worse, you begin to lose credibility as a leader.

If all this sounds familiar, I've got a game plan to help you get the situation back on track.

What's The Real Issue?

To address your employee's poor performance, start by identifying the root cause of the problem. This may take some detective work. Does the employee lack some core skills or experience? If you’re not sure, find out by creating opportunities for him to take on tasks or projects so you can better assess his capabilities. Pick opportunities that minimize the risk for you and the company, but that will help you gain clarity about what’s really going on.

If you discover that a skills gap is the primary issue for the employee, create a development plan. It could include giving exposure to projects to develop critical skills, opportunities to work with peers who have strengths in areas the employee needs to develop and more real-time coaching and feedback from you. And don’t forget to identify formal training opportunities for the employee. (My WOW! Highlight AudioSM enables even the busiest people to squeeze in career development training.)

Emphasize the Impact

Of course, underdeveloped skills or lack of experience may not be the problem. Another common reason for underperformance is lack of self-awareness. If you, or the employee’s prior managers, haven’t clearly communicated the derailing behavior along with at least three impacts of that behavior, the employee may consider your feedback a mere difference of opinion or simply nitpicking.

So, when you deliver the feedback, help the employee understand the consequences of his actions. This will ensure that he understands what he is communicating to others when he exhibits this type of behavior. For example, instead of simply pointing out that the employee missed a deadline, explain how that missed deadline affected you, the team as a whole and the quality of the work.

Other Reasons Employees Underperform

There are a couple of more factors to explore as you evaluate your employee's performance issues.

First, does she clearly understand the expectations for her role? Make sure the two of you are on the same page about what success really looks like for her role. This could include a conversation about priorities, the quality of the work and timelines.

And don’t forget to examine one of the most important factors: your own role in the employee's underperformance. Have you fallen into the trap of micromanaging (which keeps her from growing), being too hands off or relying on others to deliver feedback that you should?

This week, I challenge you to tackle that employee performance issue that’s been lingering too long. Identify the first two steps you will take to either clarify the root cause or to address it if you already know what it is. The stakes are simply too high not to act now. You’ll be glad you did.

Do People Think You Play Favorites?

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Many executive coaching clients have expressed frustration recently that people think they're playing favorites. They didn't realize that how — and with whom — they spend their time sends powerful messages.

Leaders often forget they're in an "invisible spotlight." Their teams notice their choices, including who gets the most face time with them. I’ve seen situations where high performers may get less formal meeting time because they are self-sufficient go-getters, but their leaders may engage in far more informal hallway conversation with them or choose to sit by them in meetings.

Frequent access to a leader can be seen as a form of recognition. That's true even if the time is for legitimate business reasons: problem solving or coaching and advising that individual. But others may believe that the team member gets more of your time for other reasons.

Making two small shifts can help you use your time in the way that you need to, with fewer questions about favoritism.

First, proactively share your priorities and what’s front and center for you. Don't assume that your team knows why you're interacting more with some people than with others right now. A quick explanation — like "You'll notice I'll be meeting a lot more with the marketing team over the next couple of weeks while we make some important organizational changes" — goes a long way.

Second, even though you have certain priorities and issues that need attention now, still reach out to others on the team. Focus more on the quality versus the quantity of time you spend with them. It can be a quick check-in to see how things are going, to ask what they need, and to let them know what’s going on in your world. The point is to touch base without investing a lot of time, and to maintain an important connection. A regular cadence of one-on-one meetings with each of your direct reports can also help with optics and with allocating time to each person.

This week, think about how you've been spending your time lately and what signals you might be sending — directly or indirectly.

If you'd like more tips on managing the "invisible spotlight" and the messages you send as a leader, pick up a copy of my book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out.” You can download five free chapters now.

Could This Mistake Derail Your Next Promotion?

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If you wanted to leave your job tomorrow for another opportunity, would someone on your team be ready to fill in the gap?  

The answer to that question matters not just to your employer, but to your career advancement.

With so much corporate emphasis on short-term results, succession planning often doesn't get the attention it deserves on a daily basis. But it plays a crucial role as companies constantly restructure and reorganize.

What if someone on your team (and that someone might be you) leaves a key position? What kind of ripple effect would it create? If you haven’t given this much thought, you may be putting business results and your next career move at risk.

If leadership lacks confidence in potential successors for your role, it will be hard to support a promotion or a lateral move for you until they feel like someone can adequately fill your shoes. And that timeline might get extended if they have to do an external search.

How to Start Succession Planning

As the first step in your succession plan, identify one or two individuals who could step into your role fully or take on key parts of your role. Get creative. This might include people outside your immediate department.

Next, think about the readiness of each person in the context of these three areas:

• Skill set. How well do their experiences and expertise fulfill the most critical requirements of the position?

• Credibility. Your potential successors don't just need the right skills. They also need a solid reputation within your organization. Do key leaders at your company know who they are and what they bring to the table? Do they support their transition into your role?

• Relationships. Effective leaders get things done with and through others. Your potential successors should have strong relationships with the people who influence decisions at your organization. What do their networks look like?

Prepare Your Potential Successors

Finally, create a plan that accelerates the process of preparing succession candidates.

• Seek out special projects or assignments to help them develop specific skills or gain business knowledge. Identify meetings they should attend with you to learn more about the business, certain processes and organizational dynamics.

• Look for natural opportunities, such as upcoming meetings or events, to give these candidates exposure to senior leadership. Take a look at the "Building Executive Presence" booklet in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM for practical strategies to enhance credibility and gain visibility.

• Another Leadership Edge title, "Building a Powerful Network," is a great resource for potential successors who want to develop authentic relationships that drive results.

This week, identify one step you can take to put succession planning on your radar. It will help clear the way for your next career move and minimize the risk to your company.

4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over

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The end of the third quarter is a great time to think about maintaining or even boosting your energy for the rest of the year. No one wants to feel drained and burned out a few weeks from now when they’re supposed to be filled with holiday cheer. But that can happen when you constantly push yourself without taking time to refill your tank. As high performers, we can easily fall into this trap.

You probably already know what helps you stay centered and energized. The trick is integrating those healthy practices into your busy life. Here are a few ideas that can help you get there.

Sleep

How many conversations have you had with co-workers lately about how little sleep you're all getting — or how much coffee you need to get through the day? That's not a badge of honor. A lack of sleep decimates your productivity. The CDC has even declared that widespread sleep deprivation is a public health problem. What one step can you take today to give yourself more time for some much-needed rest? How about getting to bed 15 minutes earlier tonight or putting your technology away sooner so your mind can unwind from the day (and you can get more restful sleep)?

Get Moving (Even a Little)

If you're tempted to skip your workout when things get busy, remember that exercise is the best thing you can do for your brain. When you keep your body moving, you're more creative and confident, you learn faster and you get sick less often. If you're an "all or nothing" perfectionist about exercise, cut yourself some slack. Yes, your week might be too busy to fit in a long workout or your usual number of runs or exercise classes, but most people can carve out 10-15 minutes for some physical activity. And even a few minutes of exercise can have real benefits. Just get started.

Tap into the Power of a Pause

We're always doing — but when's the last time you paused just to be? You've probably read about all the benefits of meditation, including reduced stress and a stronger immune system. You may also be assuming, though, that meditation will never fit it into your tight schedule. But, as with exercise, every little bit helps when it comes to mindfulness. One of my favorite tools to get centered and bring myself back to the present moment is diaphragmatic breathing: Inhale to a count of 3, exhale to a count of 6. You should feel your belly rising when you breathe, not your chest. This simple practice is enough to trigger your body's relaxation response, and you can even do it in meetings without sounding like Darth Vader!

Experience Nature’s Magic

It's amazing what a few brief minutes outside to appreciate the nature’s beauty can do for your stress level. Researchers have found that walking in nature protects us from depression by helping us stop obsessing about whatever's bothering us. A nature break also helps us focus when we do go back to our work. So find a good spot and take a 10-minute stroll to give your productivity an energy boost. If you absolutely can't get away from your desk, even looking at photos of nature can reduce your stress.

This week, identify one action you’d like to take – whether it’s implementing one of these strategies or one that has worked well for you in the past. You should see results quickly. For more ideas on how to thrive personally and professionally, check out my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." You can download five free chapters now.

3 Keys to Effective Team Communication

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Do you ever feel like you spend most of your days communicating with your direct reports or others who need your support? It's a huge task, and it can affect your productivity if it takes too much time away from the “right work.” It also affects your team's productivity if they have trouble getting the information and feedback they need from you.  

Whether you're establishing practices with a new team or course-correcting with an existing team, you can manage communications in a way that respects everyone's time while still ensuring that essential information gets shared.

Maximize Meetings

One of the keys to effective team communication is setting a regular cadence of group and individual meetings.

For group meetings, get your team's input on frequency and what topics would be a worthwhile use of the team’s time. We all have plenty of meetings to go to already, so before you add new ones, make sure each has a well-defined purpose and that a team meeting is really the best way to serve that purpose.

  Group meetings work well if you need to share information across the team, get input or make important decisions. They can keep people from operating in silos and understand how what they do affects the team as a whole. On the other hand, status update meetings — which can eat up so much time— may not make the best use of the entire team’s time.

Use a clear agenda to clearly communicate the objectives and timeframe for each topic and keep the meeting on track.

Customize One-on-Ones

How often you schedule and approach one-on-ones may vary with different team members. With each team member, think about how hands-on he wants you to be — or how hands-on you feel that you need to be. How long has the team member been in his role, and how much coaching and support does he require from you? Experienced employees might need fewer meetings and less involvement.

Don't take your high performers for granted, though. Some leaders don’t invest much time with high performers because they are so self-sufficient. But everyone needs feedback, recognition and some degree of guidance.

Set Guidelines

When should team members call you, and when is it OK just to send an email? What warrants setting up a special one-on-one, and what should be discussed in team meetings? You and your team members may have very different ideas about the answers to those questions. So, take time to clarify the most effective ways to communicate, to reduce confusion and stay productive.

This week, review the communication practices and habits that are already in place for your team. What might you change or improve? For additional communication strategies to help you in any situation, pick up a copy of my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." You can download five free chapters now.

Setting the Tone with a New Team

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One of my executive coaching clients didn't know what to make of the new team he was leading. They kept coming to him to ask for approval and guidance on things he felt they should be able to handle. What was going on here?  

Your first days as the leader of a new team — or serving in a leadership role such as project manager — set the stage for your working relationship over the long term. So it's important to communicate clearly and set a positive tone from the start.

These strategies helped my client better understand and work more effectively with his new team, and may help you the next time you're in a similar situation.

Get the Background

When you're leading a new team, one of the first things to do is to get a sense of the leadership style that they're used to. Ask about what the previous leader was like and how she worked with the team. In my client's case, he discovered that his predecessor was very hands-on and wanted to be involved with day-to-day decisions. My client's approach is totally different, so it's no wonder he felt surprised by how this team engaged him.

Manage Short- and Long-Term Expectations

The way that you operate at the outset of leading a new team might not be the same way you want to handle things over the long haul. For example, it's natural to focus on details and be more involved than you would normally be as you take on a new role. Remember, though, that your team is looking for clues about how you'll lead and may assume you'll always want to manage them closely. Give them a sense of where things are headed. You could say something like "I am more focused on diving into details now as I’m learning more about the team’s work and scope, but I'll back off over time."

Make Your Intent Clear

Let your team know how you like to work and communicate. Don't assume they should "just know," especially if the past leader had a very different style. Help them understand why you lead the way that you do. For example, my client explained to his new team that his style was more hands-off because his goal was to help them grow by giving them more responsibility and exposure and helping them develop new skills in a way they hadn't before.

Be Consistent

After you explain your intent, back it up with your actions. This will help build your team's sense of certainty about what to expect from you and what success looks like.

If you'll be leading a new team soon, take some time this week to get a head start by using these questions. To continue on the right track, pick up "Building a Strong Team," part of the Leadership EdgeSM series.

What Would It Take to Make You Unstoppable?

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Every now and then, I have an article pour out of my head. Today is one of those days. I’m about to launch a new app, and that’s what I should be working on during my three-hour flight. Instead, I’m writing this article. I’m trusting my gut that I should be doing this instead of being productive in other ways.  

I have been on an amazing journey over the past few months, really exploring how I can take things to the next level – for clients, my business and myself.  And I’m about to cross my next threshold.

It fills me with excitement and fear because I realize how much it means to me. At this stage of the game, it’s all about pursuing my passion — helping people really see who they are, truly own it and bring it in a much more powerful way to achieve unprecedented results —and it’s far less about hitting any type of financial target for myself. I am ready to have an even bigger impact, to create a huge ripple effect.

At times that feels daunting. When you feel like a lot is at stake, it can make you stop dead in your tracks. So, what does it take to keep moving forward, to be unstoppable? This hasn’t been an easy question to answer (especially as someone who’s been molded by the corporate world), and the answers may surprise you because they’re not focused on tactics like time management.

Get Out Of Your Head and Into Your Body

First, get out of your head and into your body. Regular exercise has been part of my life for at least 30 years, and continues to be a great way for me to relieve stress – whether it’s being outside playing baseball and basketball with my son, hiking somewhere or working out at the gym.

But this year, I’ve tapped into another way to get out of my head and into my body  – dancing.

Just cranking up a song that I love to dance to, whether it’s when no one is looking or when I’m driving my car, makes me smile and fill up with energy in less than five minutes. Yes, I often dance around like there’s no tomorrow (some of you have witnessed it – fortunately or unfortunately?). And, even better, I frequently start my day with a dance-athon in the kitchen with my son as we make breakfast. These simple moments of just being in your body fill you up with the energy you need to keep moving forward.

Get the Right Messages

Some of the most important words you need to hear will come from you – the everyday messages and stories you tell yourself. Notice what those are, write them down and replace them with more empowering ones. This takes practice, but it works.

You can also leverage the power of a song to pump you up. I recently came across a song by Sia called "Unstoppable." It has some of those key words that I need to hear when I feel stuck, and I listened to it as I wrote this article today.

Also be strategic about whom you allow in your core circle. That group affects your energy more than you realize. Over the past year, I have deliberately added more passionate, motivated people focused on making a difference and leaving a legacy. It has been so energizing. When you need that extra boost, your core circle will help keep you grounded and give you the encouragement you need in the way that you need to hear it.

Just Be

Being vs. doing?! Yes, this is one of the most powerful strategies of all so pay attention. A Type A personality like me (and most of my clients) can get so focused on charging ahead, especially when I’m focused on something I really care about. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forged ahead and then hit a roadblock. Sometimes, I simply don’t understand what’s keeping me from moving ahead. In the past, I would have tried to analyze it or just pushed even harder.

Now, I do the exact opposite. I focus far more on being more present and open, by meditating or simply taking a break. It helps slow me down and notice the lesson I should be taking from what’s happening.  Every single time it helps me move forward faster, despite my fear that I’m losing precious time. Simply trust that things are happening for you, and that all you need to do is be more present to notice it.

I want to challenge you to try one of these strategies this week. You may be surprised by the results. I know I have been – and I’m achieving more than I ever imagined.

Where to Start When You're Ready to Grow

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To stay successful, you have to invest in your own professional and personal development. As you do, though, it's important to make sure that the investment you're making is the right one for you.

I'm winding down a busy time in my life when I put a lot of time and money into a leadership program. It served as an impetus to make more time to focus on my goals, and to surround myself with a motivated peer group interested in growing and taking things to the next level. As I got deeper into my program, though, I realized that it wasn't teaching me any "secrets" I didn't already know. And the heavy travel and long hours were taking a personal toll on me and time out of my life that I wanted to use for other things.

So I canceled my trips for the last two conferences, and am continuing with investing in an executive coach for myself. I'm coming away from the experience with a critical reminder: We don't always have to look outward for the answers. Sometimes we just need to create capacity to leverage what we know.

At times my executive coaching clients think they need new or different ideas to keep moving forward. But I remind them that they already possess a gold mine of strategies and insights based on their experiences. Together, we tap into the wisdom that they already have (their personal best practices) and then determine if we need to supplement it.

When you want to grow and take things to the next level, start by defining the outcome you want to achieve before you brainstorm options to accomplish it. As you identify different ways to achieve your outcome, don’t overlook the importance of exploring what you already know before you sign up for something else. Try this simple, three-step process to access your own wisdom before you seek answers elsewhere.

Training programs and other development opportunities can help you get clear on who you are and who you aren't, and expand your network. To make the most of them, be intentional about what you want to get out of them and how you’ll apply what you learn to build on what you already know. And if you want that extra boost to help you take action, consider working with a coach.

If there are skills and knowledge you'd like to build, explore our products and services. You'll find options that fit your needs, whether you're looking for an in-depth program or quick-hit strategies from books, audio training or videos.

3 Keys to Catching Up After Vacation

Commercial jet flying above clouds.

Time away from work does wonders to help you recharge, keep things in perspective, and show up at your best. I recommend unplugging as much as you can while you're off.

The flip side of taking a break, though, is that feeling of being overwhelmed when you return to the office. That happened to me in a big way this summer. I had a week back home between two major international trips, and — wouldn't you know it? — I got sick during that time.     When I finally did get back to work, I was buried in emails and projects I was behind on. Here are the three strategies that helped me manage my stress and conquer the backlog.

1. Set Some Priorities

When you go back to work after a break, there's so much going on that it can be hard to know what to do first. If your mind is churning over everything on your to-do list, you might get overwhelmed and paralyze yourself into inaction. Remember that you don't have to do everything immediately. Start by identifying the top two or three things you should tackle first — where you can have the biggest impact. Once you get those done, you can worry about the next three.

1. Manage Your Energy

You just "refilled your tank" with some energy, so you don't want to drain it again in your first couple of days back at work! Even if you feel pressure to get caught up, take breaks. Don’t forget that the quality of the break matters much more than the quantity of time you spend taking it. Five minutes every hour and a half can do the trick (energy peaks and valleys go in 90-minute cycles). Even work you usually love can feel stressful if you're trying to slog through too much of it at once. Research shows that people who work 60-70 hours a week don’t have higher productivity. So, be mindful not to let fatigue set in because even simple tasks can take much longer to complete. Get that much-needed rest through breaks and a good night’s sleep.

1. Remember What Works For You

You probably already have some go-to time management or productivity strategies that consistently get results for you. But when we feel overwhelmed or stressed, our best practices can go straight out the window. Before you dive back into work, think about what has worked well for you in the past to get through hectic times. How can you put at least one or two of those practices into play now?

Keep these tips handy for the next time you return from time off. Some small steps in the right direction can make catching up a lot easier and keep that post-vacation glow going just a little longer. You'll find more tips on always being at your best in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens."  

Vulnerability as a Leadership Tool

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Recently, I had the chance to see Brené Brown speak about her well-known book, "Daring Greatly." She talked about vulnerability, which she defines as allowing yourself to be "seen" when the outcome is uncertain.  

This really resonated with me, especially since I coach executives on how to show up with authenticity and strength. Putting yourself "out there" can inspire others to do the same.

It doesn't always mean you have to take a massive leap into uncertainty. For example, sometimes vulnerability is allowing others to give you input and acknowledging that you don't have all the answers. Instead, you are relying on your team to find the answers with you.

I was coaching a client who shared how much he admired the way his boss showed vulnerability. He had no idea that he was doing the same, and that he had mastered it. His team viewed him as a strong leader because of his willingness to put himself out there as someone who doesn't know it all.

What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?

Brown also talked about the stories we tell ourselves — especially when we are vulnerable and things don't go our way. She explained that the brain looks for a story to make sense of things when something difficult happens. In fact, the brain chemically rewards the story, even if it is incorrect.

So be mindful of what you are telling yourself. Use powerful questions — like "What else could be going on?" or "What does the evidence really tell me?" — to help you take a broader view. Ask others who will be candid with you for input and perspective. My son is 10 years old, and we already do this together. It's never too early or too late to start.

Feedback and Appreciation: Our Best Advice

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Feedback and appreciation are some of the most requested topics. Here is a collection on giving feedback.

• Why is it so hard to give feedback? If you struggle with giving candid performance feedback, take a look at your mindset.

• Making awkward feedback easier.Have you been putting off talking to an employee about a behavior, habit or mannerism that's giving people the wrong impression of him? This article can help.

• Fast, easy ways to recognize employees. Giving more praise and appreciation doesn't have to be time-consuming.

• The two-part feedback formula. This process can take a lot of the emotional charge out of giving feedback.

• Feedback and respect. Respect is closely tied to job satisfaction. And the setting you choose for delivering feedback can convey respect or disrespect.

• Develop others (without draining yourself). Sometimes the team members who need the most feedback are the very ones who sap your energy.

• Directness is key. If you shy away from telling team members what's holding them back, you're ultimately hurting them.

• Lead by helping your team grow. One of leaders' main jobs is developing others. Feedback is part of that process.

• How to help a 'stuck' employee. Have you ever been frustrated with a team member who isn’t performing as you need — and who’s showing no signs of changing?

• The power of celebrating successes. It's essential to do this for your team members — and for yourself!

You can learn much more about giving feedback and other ways to help your team succeed in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens." Follow the link to download five free chapters!

Leadership Lessons from an Olympic Athlete

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As you may know, I’m a huge supporter of United Way and have been volunteering with this organization for years. At a recent United Way Tocqueville event in Dallas, I had the rare opportunity to hear Olympic gold medalist Michael Johnson speak. As he shared what he had learned from his years of competition in the 200- and 400-meter sprints, I realized how much of what he said applies to leadership – especially to the high performers that I coach.  

Be Better Today Than You Were Yesterday

Sometimes we forget how much we can achieve by taking small steps. In the Olympics, shaving off a fraction of a second can be the difference between winning the gold medal or not — when you won't get another shot for four years. In both your professional and persona lives, taking even five minutes to stop and think about one small thing you can do better than you did yesterday can have a huge impact over time. I’m sure you’ve heard me say by now how small steps can lead to big results.

Have a Race Strategy

Even though sprints are for short distances, they still require careful thought and planning. In the workplace, it can be easy to tell yourself you can tolerate some things for a while, even when you are working crazy hours. When was the last time you sat back and thought about how you really want to achieve your goals? An “all out” strategy may burn you out before you cross the finish line. What one change do you want to make to manage your energy and ensure you have a sustainable approach?

What To Do When Times Get Tough

Everyone hits bumps in the road. Johnson talked about one of his: an injury that kept him from competing. He had skipped some basic steps — consistent stretching and weight lifting — that would have prevented it. What basics do you need to keep in mind to ensure you are getting stronger each day and that you don’t get derailed from what’s most important? For me, it’s making time to reflect so that I can be more strategic, no matter how busy things get.

Another strategy is to simply notice what you have done well and the impact it has had on others. To do that, many of my clients have used an accomplishment log. Reading your log when you feel stuck or when times get tough will help you recognize how much progress you have made.

This week, think about what you can do to invest in your own resilience and long-term performance as a leader, by applying one of Michael's strategies. Read some of the media coverage of Johnson's talk for more inspiration.

How to Unplug on Vacation

I hope you have some fun vacation time planned this summer! And I hope you'll truly leave the office behind when you're away.  

Taking breaks to recharge is one of the best ways to enhance your productivity and performance. But you miss out on those benefits if you still feel tethered to work while you're on vacation.

If you're anxious about what might go wrong back at the office while you're gone, think about answers to these questions before you take time off.

• What do you need to feel OK about being off? Sometimes your team's actions can keep you tied to the office while you're on vacation. But sometimes it's your own mindset. What do you need to tell yourself so that you feel comfortable unplugging? Define for yourself what you need to feel calm while you're off and to turn your attention away from the office.

• What are the big gaps? What are you most concerned about falling through the cracks or not being handled during your vacation? What plans can you put in place now to deal with those potential trouble spots?

• How will you communicate? How often will you check email while you're off (if at all)? What merits a text or phone call to you, and what should your team members decide on their own? Establishing boundaries around communication will go a long way toward easing stress for both you and your team while you're off.

• What happens in a crisis? Who on your team has the authority to make big decisions in your absence? Or should they clear things with another leader with while you're gone? Your team should feel empowered and capable enough to handle most things on their own so that you're not drawn back into work when you should be recharging.

If you can't get away from the feeling that the sky is going to fall where you're gone, that's a deeper issue to deal with. Think about how you can do more to set your team up for success and growth. Here are some past articles that can help:

• Lead by Helping Others Grow

• The Balancing Act Between Teaching and Solving

• Put Your Coaching Skills to Work

"Building a Strong Team," one of the titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM, has more ideas you can use.

If you have vacation time coming up, use these tips to make the most of your opportunity to recharge — and your team's opportunity to step up and shine.

What Most People Forget Before Negotiating

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Plenty has been written about how to come out ahead in negotiations. But there's a key step that doesn't receive much attention even though it can be the difference between getting what you want and walking away empty-handed.  

That "missing link" in the negotiations process is preparing for how you might get in your own way.

Asking for what you want can trigger fears or anxieties that work against you when you're negotiating. That's why it's worth taking time before your next negotiation to think about how you've reacted during similar situations in the past.

When someone pushes back during a negotiation, how do you typically respond? Some people sabotage themselves by backing down immediately. Others react too quickly, immediately firing back with counteroffers when they'd be better served by simply pausing and letting the silence work for them. And some get so focused on one option that they forget to generate other options that could lead to an agreement.

You might also get in your own way during a negotiation if you worry too much about what others will think of you or that you might damage the relationship. I once had a client who feared that her manager would think she was greedy for asking for a raise because she was already well-paid — even though she was notably underpaid relative to her peers.

Finally, if you tend to assume the worst, you may not even be willing to ask for what you really want. For example, another former client assumed that when she asked for a nontraditional work schedule that her company would simply tell her to leave if she wasn't happy. This kept her from noticing that her company was clearly willing to go to great lengths to retain a high performer like her.

Once you've identified how you might get in your own way, plan in advance the adjustments you’ll make. For example, you can decide now that if you start to back down in your negotiation for a raise, you'll pause, take a breath and remind yourself of all the ways you add value.

Every single client I have worked with to prepare for a negotiation, including both of the examples I mentioned, got everything they wanted in their negotiations. And you can, too.

To download our free tool “Preparing to Negotiate a Pay Increase”, complete the form below. And if you're in the Houston area, I'm speaking on "Negotiating for What You Want" for the Women's Energy Network Houston Chapter on May 18.

The Secret to More Energy Isn't What You Think

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You probably have some go-to strategies for when you need more energy, from listening to upbeat songs to squeezing in an extra workout to hitting your favorite coffee shop.  

Have you thought, though, about the energy you surround yourself with? The people we're around regularly have a huge effect on whether we feel lively and productive or depleted and crabby.

Researchers Rob Cross and Robert J. Thomas study how people succeed or fail based on their networks. They’ve found that "if those around you are enthusiastic, authentic, and generous, you will be, too. … Energizers bring out the best in everyone around them, and our data show that having them in your network is a strong predictor of success over time."

But Cross and Thomas also warn of de-energizers: "And our own research suggests that roughly 90% of anxiety at work is created by 5% of one’s network—the people who sap energy."

That's why I recommend taking an "energy audit" of the people in your life. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Who are the people you spend the most time around?

2. How does each person on that list affect your energy? Do you feel more energy or less after spending time with your boss (for example)? Or is she more of a neutral person?

3. What cumulative impact do these people have on your energy? Do the energizers counteract the energy drainers, or do you have an energy deficit?

With the results of your audit, you might decide to take one or both of the following actions to give yourself more energy.

1. Distance yourself from de-energizers. This has been a major change in my own life, especially during key periods where I know I need to maintain as much energy as I can. I've gotten a lot more selective about who's in my inner circle.

2. If you can't escape from someone who drains your energy, develop strategies for dealing with that person to protect and replenish your energy. If, for example, you have a colleague who's always negative, accept that she isn't capable of showing up with positivity. Knowing that, how do you want to engage with her? Can you limit your time with her or put a stop to her habit of swinging by your office every afternoon to complain? (This blog has some good strategies for dealing with a complainer.) What can you do before or after seeing this person to replace the energy she takes from you?

This week, pay attention to how others fuel or drain your energy. Surrounding yourself with people who bring out your best is key to your success. The small changes we've talked about here minimize the effects of the people who drag you down – and free up time to spend with people who fire you up.

I'll be speaking on how to get more energy on May 11 at a luncheon presented by the Plano Chamber of Commerce Women's Division. You can find additional tips in "Staying Engaged" and "Building a Powerful Network," two titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

Managing Stress When Work Goes Crazy

Over the past few months, I have found myself coaching several leaders facing major transitions and stress. Financial pressure has resulted in one or more rounds of restructuring. With fewer resources, achieving their business targets requires more from leaders who remain. With so much uncertainty in the environment, these leaders are often left wondering what will happen with their jobs, who else they will have to let go, and whether the company will still be a place where they want to work.  

If you find yourself in the midst of a similar situation or other big changes, your mind may be racing with thoughts like these:

There's too much going on. How much more can we really take on?

This is crazy! These changes don't make sense. How much will they really help?

How will my future be affected?

It would be a waste of time to bring forward my ideas right now — everyone is too distracted.

We’ve lost sight of who we are as a company in the midst of all this change.

Our leaders seem misaligned; we get conflicting messages.

Fear and uncertainty can increase your stress, keep you from engaging fully, or realizing that you can still have an impact no matter how out-of-control everything seems.

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3 Steps to Stop Negativity

Even the most optimistic leaders can have difficulty staying positive when operating in a high stress environment each day – especially if their bosses are also too overwhelmed to give them support.  If you find yourself rattled by stress and uncertainty, try one of these strategies:

Focus on what is certain (i.e., what isn't changing).

In times of upheaval, we tend to focus more on all the changes and unknowns and overlook what is constant. For example, even if your company alters some aspects of how it operates, the overarching values and priorities may still stay the same. Help your team notice these things to give them more stability.

Manage your energy.

Even if you can’t see an end in sight in the near term, minimize the impact of tough spots in your schedule — the tasks and events that you know will sap your energy — and make sure you proactively infuse some positive energy to fill the tank. That could mean a morning workout before a stressful meeting or a few quick, deliberate breaks throughout the day. Take a look at your own agenda for the week right now. What energy-drainers do you see? How can you counteract them? Even something as simple as packing some healthy snacks to keep you from hitting the vending machines during a late night at the office can make a big difference.

Build a support system.

Even if your boss can’t offer much support, connect with colleagues and other people with positive energy so you can lift each other up. When your own optimism drops, tap into the energy of this group to help you recharge and refocus on what is working.

Change is always going to be part of your work environment, but remember that you can take small steps every day to help you feel more centered and in control. You'll find more ideas on managing your energy during difficult times in "Staying Engaged," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.