The Secret to Creating an Engaged, Committed Team

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What's the No. 1 leadership quality when it comes to engaging employees? Providing lots of feedback? Inspiring them constantly with your vision? Implementing generous recognition or training programs?  

Actually, it's something much simpler. In her research, Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business, found that treating employees with respect trumps all else.

"No other leadership behavior had a bigger effect on employees across the outcomes we measured," she writes in Harvard Business Review.

My own experiences as an executive coach echo her findings. Treating your team members with respect takes employee loyalty and engagement to a whole new level. Here are three ideas for infusing your work style with more respect.

Respect the Roles that Others Play

One of my clients works with a boss who micromanages her. But he doesn't stop there — he also micromanages employees a couple of levels below her. As you'd expect, it's driving everyone crazy.

Although his intent is positive (to help drive high quality work and provide input and guidance), his style indirectly conveys disrespect for the knowledge and expertise his team members bring to the table, as well as their roles. As a result, his direct reports feel mistrusted because he doesn’t allow them to do their jobs without his constant intervention and input.

Sometimes letting go can be difficult, so try some of these ideas to help your team members grow by delegating with development in mind. Just remember that when you give employees the leeway to figure out how to tackle their work, they typically gain more confidence and develop skills faster (not to mention the fact that it takes work off your plate when you decide not to get so involved). They may make some mistakes along the way, but that will also accelerate their learning.

Choose the Right Setting for Feedback

How and where you give feedback often matters just as much as the feedback itself. Giving negative feedback in a group setting, whether it’s a meeting or conference call, can leave the recipient feeling embarrassed and disrespected (and her level of respect for you might drop a couple of notches, too). This doesn't mean you should hold back on giving feedback. Just choose the right time and place, and deliver it in a way that conveys how much you want to help the individual be successful.

Watch Your Tone

Although most of us know that little things can affect executive presence in big ways, we may not stop to think about it for ourselves. Leaders are always in the “invisible spotlight.” As you contemplate your communication style, think about how much respect you convey with your tone of voice and body language. To get a better sense, notice how others respond to you. In particular, pay attention to how often your team members seek true coaching and advice vs. approval (there is a difference, so don’t mistake one for the other). Remember that if employees don't feel respected, they may still comply with your requests — they just won’t have a strong level of commitment, which is key to taking performance and results above and beyond.

This week, look for opportunities to put at least one of these three strategies into action. And remember that respect is just one part of helping your team members achieve their best results. You can find many more strategies in "Building a Stronger Team," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets.

The High Cost of Not Being Direct

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As a leader, are you clear with others?  

Are you sure?

I'm always surprised at the number of companies where their culture is to communicate indirectly. A recent survey of 1,000 U.S. workers about communication issues that hamper leadership found something striking: 57 percent of respondents complained that their leaders do not give clear directions. That was the second-most-cited issue in the whole survey. Other common complaints also show employees' dissatisfaction with leaders' lack of directness. Just over half of respondents said leaders simply refuse to talk to subordinates. And 39 percent said their leaders fail to offer constructive criticism.

Confusion and Missed Opportunities

In my work as an executive coach, I've seen similar issues play out at many companies. People who have a more direct, transparent communication style can have trouble in such an environment, and are often asked by others to "soften their message." They struggle with knowing what they can bring up and how to do it in a way that fits in with the culture.

I also hear from employees who get frustrated because their bosses send conflicting messages or don’t clearly state their expectations. A boss may say he expects one thing, but his actions indicate something completely different.

Leaders with an indirect style often miss opportunities to give their team members valuable feedback. When employees don't understand specifically what others value about what they do and how they do it, they underutilize their strengths – which has an impact on them and the company. On the other hand, some leaders shy away from giving constructive feedback because they worry about damaging the relationship with the employee. But, as the results from the employee survey affirm, the real damage comes when leaders aren't open and honest enough to tell their team members what's holding them back.

How to Navigate through a Culture of Indirectness

I advise clients who work in a culture of indirectness to pay attention to what others are doing, not just what they're saying. If your boss doesn't give you feedback, you'll find ideas in this blog post to help you succeed despite a lack of specific direction.

I also have an earlier blog post with tips to help leaders be direct when delivering difficult feedback. Just remember to offer the feedback in the spirit of generosity and to frame it in a way that shows how much you care about the employee's success ("If I were you, I'd want to know this …"). When you offer this kind of feedback, you build trust and strengthen your relationship with your team members.

This week, challenge yourself to be just a little more direct in your communication style by acknowledging that what you are sharing is valuable to the other person — and that it can be done with care and concern. By simply asking yourself “How do I want to show up in this conversation?” you’ll notice what’s most important to you and will focus on how to convey that. And for more tips about effective communication that helps you succeed, be sure to check out my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." You can read an extended free sample on my website.

Fast, Easy Ways to Give the Recognition Your Employees Crave

Are you leveraging the power of recognition? Giving your team members feedback about what they're doing right and celebrating their achievements are simple but powerful leadership tools. 

And employees definitely notice when leaders fall short in offering recognition. In a recent poll, "not recognizing employee achievement" ranked first on a list of communication issues that prevent effective leadership. Sixty-three percent of the survey respondents in the poll said it was a problem for leaders at their company. Why is that number so high? Sometimes high-performing leaders tend to go without a break from one project to the next, not stopping to celebrate what everyone has achieved.   It takes only a small time investment, though, to make regular recognition a part of your leadership style. Here are a few ideas to try.

Use meetings to share successes.

Start team meetings by asking people to share their recent successes or what's been going well. This doesn't take long, and it makes people feel good because they start noticing what they're actually getting done. Your employees can emulate this practice in meetings with their own direct reports, which helps build a culture of recognition throughout your company. Besides boosting everyone's energy, getting into this habit gives you more information and insight about what is working.

Debrief often.

You don't have to block out time for a meeting to give employees feedback and recognition. Pull your team member aside for a few minutes after a meeting to talk about what she did well while the specifics are still fresh in your mind. Having these conversations is easier if you build a little breathing room into your schedule. Avoid back-to-back meetings so that you'll have time for these informal but valuable feedback sessions. You'll reap the benefits because employees will better understand what you value and want to see more of.

Write it down.

One of my coaching clients blocks out a few minutes every Friday to send a note praising someone for actions that were effective or that made a difference that week. My client even gives himself reminders to rotate the notes among different groups of employees so that recognition gets spread around. Think about how valued and motivated you could make your own team members feel with thoughtful emails or handwritten notes like the ones my client sends.

Recognize yourself, too.

Start keeping a log of your own accomplishments, no matter how small. Be sure to jot down the impact of each one so you recognize the “so what.” High performers frequently overlook their own value, so having strategies to help you notice your own is important. Use this information to proactively share your successes in a tasteful way. And take a look periodically to see what themes you notice. Reviewing this information can be a pick-me-up, especially when you don’t have a boss who gives you much feedback.

This week, choose one or more of these strategies to recognize your team members for their achievements. Even if you can invest only a few minutes, you'll start to see the impact quickly. For more ideas for your team, check out "Building a Strong Team," part of our Leadership EDGE SeriesSM. In this quick read, you'll find more easy-to-implement strategies.

How to Turn Conflict Into Teamwork

It isn't enough to talk about peace, one must believe it.And it isn't enough to believe in it, one must work for it.                                                                             - Eleanor Roosevelt

One of my clients is in a predicament that will feel familiar to a lot of leaders. On her team, two peers aren't collaborating, and they keep escalating their conflict. When she tries to intervene, they just dig in deeper.

This situation is an example of how a leader can set the tone. That's a theme we've been looking at throughout March in honor of Women's History Month. In this case, your leadership skills can make the difference in whether a conflict drags on (draining everyone's productivity) or gets resolved (boosting your team's results).

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If you have a couple of team members who just can't seem to work together, try these ideas to get everyone back on track.

1. Look at your role. How might you be enabling the conflict to continue? Has communication gotten fragmented between your quarreling team members because you've put yourself right in the middle of things? Remember that you can be supportive without being in the middle. Make it clear to the team members that while you can offer help, they own the problem and its resolution.

1. Establish the big picture. One good way to help without getting stuck in the middle of the conflict is by giving your team members a perspective check. Let's say that one of them is accountable for creating the highest margins for the company while the other is accountable for customer satisfaction. The two of them are being rewarded for very different things that can lead to different business decisions, which might explain one of the sources of conflict in the first place. As a leader, you can remind them to think in terms of the company's overall success and how both goals can be met, not just how well their individual area performs.

1. Help them see everyone's place in that picture. Talk with the team members about how they both fit into the company's larger goals, even though they are accountable for different things. Help them see how the big-picture success of the company might involve balancing their two individual goals. In our example, that could mean helping your team members understand that while margins are important, prices can't be so high that they run off customers. On the other hand, happy customers are vital, but so are sustainable margins. Sometimes as leaders we feel that employees should "just know" things like this and instinctively do what's right for the company. But you might have to help them connect the dots.

This week, take a look at whether there are any conflicts on your team that might come from team members being too focused on their own areas and not enough on the bigger picture. How can you help your feuding team members see beyond differences and align with higher level goals? This is a great opportunity to make a real impact with your leadership skills. In my online store, you can find many more resources to help your team members' leadership development, including the WOW! Highlight AudioSM.

Turning Down an Employee Who's Not Ready for a Promotion

“People are definitely a company’s greatest asset. It doesn’t make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A company is only as good as the people it keeps.” — Mary Kay Ash

March is Women's History Month, so we've been celebrating the words of some great women leaders and taking a look at the impact and influence of your own leadership. The way you lead makes a huge difference in your team members' difficult moments. Today, let's look at a really tricky one: What should you do when an employee wants a promotion but just isn't ready? How you lead through this situation can help determine whether the employee keeps improving and stays with your company or disengages and moves on.

Leaders have to get skilled at the art of tough conversations, and this one is among the toughest I see my clients face. If you're currently dreading having a talk like this with an employee, I have three ideas that can make the conversation easier for you both and more likely to help your team member's career growth.

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1. Set the stage.

How you frame this conversation is crucial. Communicate that you are here to help your team member succeed and that you're vested in her leadership development and her success. The key thing here is not just telling your employee that you're an ally, but reminding her of the evidence of how you've helped her develop and grow.

2. Agree on the criteria.

Lay out what the company is looking for from people at the level where she'd like to be. Then talk about your employee's strengths and where her gaps are. Maybe she's great at building a high-performing team, but she needs to improve her ability to focus on what matters most. Or she tends to get "in the weeds" with her direct reports while the position she wants requires more strategic thinking. Getting clear on criteria helps the conversation feel more objective and less personal.

3. Bring in the big picture.

People who are set on getting promoted often make the mistake of looking at it (and communicating about it) only from the standpoint of their own career path, not what's best for the company as a whole. If that's true of your employee, help her shift her thinking. The company is interested in making the highest and best use of her skills, and helping her grow and advance. It may seem a little counterintuitive to her, but when she focuses less on getting promoted and more on what’s best for the company, she will become more promotable.

If you have an employee who wants to move up but isn't ready, I encourage you to have this conversation as soon as you can. This is a difficult situation, but one where your leadership can really make the difference for the company and for your team member. In my online store, you can find many more resources to help your team members' leadership development, including the WOW! Highlight AudioSM.

Why Your Underperformer Isn't Changing

Have you ever been frustrated with a team member who isn't performing as you need — and who's showing no signs of changing?  

I've seen this issue come up several times lately with my executive coaching clients. And I've noticed that as frustrated as leaders are in this situation, sometimes they aren't giving employees the honest advice and specific feedback they need to change. They might be worried about damaging the relationship, or they think that an employee should "just know" what to do.

You can take an approach, though, that helps the employee (and keeps your relationship healthy) while getting you better results. Here's the process I advise for leaders who are dealing with a "stuck" employee.

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Look at Your Mindset

Think about how you've been engaging with this employee. What role are you playing in the current situation? How are you enabling it to continue as it is? For example, I’ve noticed that when a leader starts showing frustration or micromanaging, it can put his team member in a place of fear and self-doubt. That can make it much more difficult for the employee to make change happen. What would help you get centered so you can address the situation in a more constructive way?

Set Clear Expectations

Sometimes leaders assume an employee should know, without being told, how to handle an assignment. Then they're disappointed when the employee doesn't read their mind and meet all of those unvoiced expectations. You'll do more to boost the employee's performance when you delegate with clear expectations. Spell out the deliverables, define their decision-making authority, and specify how often the employee should check in and any other key parameters of the project.

One of my clients has a boss who's discouraged by her performance but doesn't communicate expectations. He gives her assignments to test her capabilities – but doesn't tell her this upfront, or let her know what skills he's looking to assess or build. That approach hasn’t served either one of them well. He would improve his effectiveness if he communicated at the outset, "I'm giving you this assignment to see how you'll do and where I need to coach you, to help you be successful."

Give Specific Feedback

Think about whether you're offering the employee tangible, specific feedback. Are you communicating regularly about what's working and what's not? If you want her to make a shift in a certain area — say, being more strategic instead of tactical — are you letting her know this and explaining why this would help her succeed?

I teach my executive coaching clients a two-part formula for giving feedback. This approach gives the employee useful information she can take action on and keeps the emphasis on performance and results instead of personal criticism.

1. As objectively as possible, tell the employee what you observed her doing. Share facts without interpreting them.

1. Describe the impact of those actions. Your goal is to help the employee understand what she did and how it affected others. For example, did the actions she took (or didn't take) lead to a missed deadline? Misalignment of goals? Wasted time?

This week, apply at least one of these ideas to help a team member grow and improve. You'll find more ideas on giving feedback and helping your team members develop in Building a Strong Team, part of my Leadership EdgeSMseries. And you can get a sampling of the team-building advice from the WOW! Women on the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSMin the WOW! Highlight AudioSM. Start taking some small steps and you'll see big changes with your employee.

PS: If you're on the other side of this situation — dealing with a boss who's frustrated with you but not telling you how to improve — I'll have tips for you next week.

Making It Easier to Give Performance Feedback

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Why is it so hard to give feedback?

I recently spoke to an executive who asked me about an issue that's probably troubled a lot of other leaders. She asked, “Why do leaders [at my company] continue to struggle with giving candid performance feedback although they've been given supporting tools and training time and again?”

It's an important question because feedback can make a huge difference in helping your people grow, and your company thrive.

I told her that no matter how much training people receive, it all starts with how you personally view the act of giving feedback. In other words, is feedback a gift that you give to someone or something painful for the other person to endure?

Mindset About Feedback

Let’s take a closer look at your thoughts about giving feedback. Which statements sound the most like you?

1. I worry that negative feedback will hurt the other person’s feelings.

2. I know how to depersonalize feedback by putting the focus on results and impact, rather than the individual’s personality.

3. I hesitate because I don’t want negative feedback to strain my relationship with the other person.

4. I see feedback as valuable information that someone should have.

5. Giving feedback takes more energy and effort than it is worth.

6. I don’t wait for annual performance reviews. I give feedback daily or weekly.

7. I dread giving feedback because of how poorly it has been delivered to me in the past.

8. If I prepare well, I can get more comfortable in giving feedback.

Feedback Tips

If the odd-numbered statements above resonated more with you than the even-numbered ones, you may be missing some valuable opportunities to help your employees grow through candid feedback. Here are a few ideas to make it easier for you.

• Reframe feedback as key to success.

Feedback works best when you approach it with a spirit of generosity. You're not being the "bad guy" by criticizing. Instead, remember that you're giving the employee valuable information to help her be successful. Wouldn't you be grateful if someone took the time to tell you what you should know – how you get in your own way, or the impact you have on others with certain behaviors? Convey to the recipient that this conversation is about setting her up for success, and that she may not be aware that she's doing something that could limit that. Presenting feedback in this way can put both of you at more ease.

• Use this feedback formula.

1. Describe what you observed the employee doing as objectively as possible by sharing the facts without interpreting them. 2. Describe at least 2-3 consequences of what you observed to help your employee understand the impact of her actions. This makes feedback sound less nitpicky by clarifying what’s really at stake. Your goal is to help your employee see that she has choices — and that there are consequences to each of them.

• Seize the moment.

Feedback doesn't have to take a lot of time or buildup. Get in the habit of sharing what you noticed right after you observe it. Even a couple of minutes after a meeting to point out what worked well and what would have been more effective can go a long way.

• Practice.

Giving feedback can be easier if you say it out loud before your actual conversation with the recipient. Ask someone you trust to role-play with you or to at least help you think through what might trigger your employee, based on how you've described the employee's personality. Anticipating the reactions the employee might have and how you would respond to them, will give you more confidence.

Giving feedback gets easier the more you do it and the more you see how helpful it is to recipients. If you usually feel uncomfortable giving feedback, challenge yourself to reframe it as something valuable, a gift. It will help you find the language you need to convey the intent of your feedback. You'll find more ideas on giving (and receiving) feedback in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember that small steps to improve how you give feedback can lead to big results, for you and others.

Fantasy Football: Time-waster or Team-Builder?

How is your fantasy football team doing? If you don't play fantasy football yourself, chances are you've heard colleagues who do talking about their lineups and trades at the office. The outplacement consulting firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas estimates (with tongue somewhat in cheek) that all the fantasy football talk at work costs employers $13 billion a year in lost productivity.

Does that mean that workplaces should banish fantasy football? Let's call a timeout and talk about the issue a little more.

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Fantasy football (if managed well) can actually benefit a workplace. It brings a dose of fun and positive energy, and it strengthens relationships by helping co-workers get to know each better.

Allowing some football talk at the office also sends a message that leaders are flexible and trust employees to deliver quality results without micromanaging how and when they work.

All of that is important because it contributes to employee engagement. Deloitte Human Capital Research concluded that workplaces where employees are engaged and thriving share qualities including autonomy and a flexible, fun environment. And when your employees are engaged, your business is more successful.

By the way, what I'm saying here about fantasy football also applies to any other nonwork activity that helps your team bond, whether that's rehashing awards show fashions together or trading info on Black Friday sales.

Playing Fair

Of course, there are a few things to be mindful of if your team spends time on fantasy football or similar activities at the office. Keep an eye on whether deadlines or work quality suffer. If productivity problems do come up, look at whether they're an issue for the whole team or just certain individuals. Finally, make sure that the people who aren't part of the activity don't feel overtly excluded.

If you'd like to explore this topic more, check out my radio interviews on fantasy football at the office on KURV (McAllen, Texas) and WHBC (Canton, Ohio). And you can find more tips on strengthening your team in my new Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklet, “Building a Stronger Team.” Sometimes the little touches, like giving employees enough flexibility to enjoy fantasy football or other fun activities at the office, can lead to big payoffs in engagement.

The Power of One Conversation

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone tells you that something you said made a real difference in his or her life? Maybe it's a conversation you don't even remember, but it helped the other person make a change or shift perspective. As busy as we all are, it's important to realize how much you can affect another person with a single conversation. Just making someone feel validated, supported or heard makes a big impact and takes only a few minutes of your time.

We all have those times when we feel stuck or frustrated and need to talk through a challenge. To be a great conversation partner when someone needs a sounding board, you don't have to have all the answers or come up with an action plan. He may be in a frustrating situation that he can't change in the short term, but even helping him shift his attitude about the situation can be extremely valuable.

The key thing is just to be fully present for the other person. Take in what she's saying, both with her words and with her tone and her body language. That kind of deep listening is a gift. Take time to reflect what you notice: "You sound very upset about this." “You sound drained.” "You just don't seem like yourself."

These three questions can be helpful to ask the other person move forward:

• How do you feel right now?

• What do you really need right now?

• What do you most want right now?

(They're also great questions to ask yourself when you're feeling frustrated or stuck.)

The first two questions can help the other person identify her emotions and think strategically. Perhaps she feels disappointed and needs to feel appreciated. Sometimes we tend to stay "in our heads" about tough work challenges, so also getting in touch with our emotions can help us find the best solutions.

The "what do you want" question helps the other person start to take action to get centered again. That could mean getting positive encouragement from someone else, taking a break, getting some sleep, going for a stress-relieving run, or spending quality time with family.

This week, notice the colleagues around you who may need you to lend an ear or share your insight, and make yourself available for conversation. This small step for you can lead to big results for someone else.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

Increase Your Influence in One Conversation

We’re sharing ideas this month to help you be the kind of leader you want to be. This week, I want to tell you about a strategy that can make all the difference in managing a work relationship. I spent a large part of my career in various leadership roles at Deloitte. Every time I started a new project with a team, I would have a conversation with each person at the outset. Our discussion topics ranged from goals to strengths to communication styles.

First, we would talk about that person’s goals for the year and for her career as a whole.

• What skills and exposure do you want?

• Who do you want to work with and why?

• What are your specific goals for the current project?

• What would make you feel that the project was a great experience?

Next, I asked questions to get a handle on her strengths and preferences:

• In the context of the work we’re about to do, what should I know about what you’re really good at and any relevant past experiences? (This reveals critical information that otherwise might not surface as quickly and can be a good team exercise.)

• What is the best way to communicate with you (face-to-face or email)?

• If I need something from you quickly, what’s the best way to approach it?

As I learned more about each team member, I also shared what worked for me and my preferences as a leader.

From there, we set some agreements on working together. I let the team member know what I could offer through the current project that fit her goals. We could decide on a communication approach that worked for us both and on how we would gauge our progress along the way.

This conversation was a great way to set the stage for an open and effective working relationship. It allowed us to become more proactive about creating the right opportunities, and the team member understood that I was coming from a place of genuine interest in her goals and development.

Whether you’re working with a new team or an existing one, it’s never too late to ask some of these questions. This week, I challenge you to identify one conversation you’d like to have, or one question you would like to ask from the list above. You can find more ideas like this one in the chapter “Strategies to Create a High-Performing Team” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember, small steps can lead to big results

Lead by Helping Others Grow

We're talking this month about what kind of leader you are. One of the leadership qualities that will help you succeed is the ability to develop others.  

Creating growth opportunities, though, can be easy to overlook in our rush to get things done. Take a look at the list below. Identify the strategies you already leverage well today and one or two that you would like to start doing to help others develop.

1. Ask people about their passions, interests and the type of opportunities they seek.

2. Give others opportunities to be the external face of the organization, such as with a professional association or community group.

3. Invite others to meetings that will give them exposure to senior leaders or raise their visibility.

4. Introduce people to others who can help them achieve their career goals.

5. Share a colleague’s accomplishments so that others can tap into their strengths, and to give them more visibility.

6. Give feedback in the moment on what your team members do well and suggestions about how to be even more effective.

7. Delegate work with a team member's professional development in mind.

8. Ask someone to deliver a presentation to share their knowledge and raise their profile.

9. Give an opportunity for a rotation or a special assignment (beyond a stretch project).

10. Give a team member an opportunity to provide peer mentoring.

What did you notice about how you're creating growth opportunities for others? I challenge you to put at least one of these ideas into play more powerfully this week. For more ideas on creating a high-performing team, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through A New Lens.

The Power of Celebrating Successes

When was the last time you celebrated success — I mean, really celebrated? As high performers, we often go without a break from one project to the next, not pausing to look at what we learned or how far we and others have come.  

But taking time to notice and acknowledge is crucial. We're talking about lifting others up this month, and celebrating their successes is one of the key ways to do that.

The first step is getting in the practice of acknowledging your own successes and looking at what you did to make them happen. You can then expand that kind of thinking to your team. We're not talking about just taking "rah-rah" moments, but rather looking at the positive impact made by others and how they did it.

Here are five easy-to-implement strategies to get you started.

• Use regular debrief sessions. When a project or a meeting is complete, take a few minutes to talk about what went well. (Of course, you should also discuss what to do differently next time, but don't gloss over the positives in a rush to offer suggestions.)

• Ask people what they are the most proud of in how they accomplished something. You'll learn about what motivates them, which is important information to know as you work to lift others.

• Start meetings by asking people to share their successes or what's going well. This gives them permission to get excited about their victories, and it gives you more insight as a leader.

• Send handwritten notes to highlight something specific a team member did well, or make a point to give one-on-one praise outside of group debrief sessions. This reinforces what you value and want to see more of.

• Don't forget little symbolic gestures. A celebration of success doesn't have to be something formal or planned. Giving a funny memento of a project or taking the team out for an impromptu lunch or happy hour are meaningful ways to show appreciation,

Celebrating successes can help keep your team members engaged and give them insights on how they can repeat their successes. Whatever strategies you choose, take a few minutes to bring more celebration into your week. For more ideas on bringing out the best in yourself and others, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.

The Balancing Act Between Teaching and Solving

Has this ever happened to you? One of your team members comes to you to talk about how to deal with an issue. But by the end of the conversation, you find that somehow the issue has become yours to solve. In a situation like this, you’re typically faced with balancing the need to solve the problem quickly and using it as an opportunity to build your team member’s capabilities.

When leaders feel significant time pressure or stress, they may intervene in their team’s problems more often than they should. What typically happens to you? When someone approaches you with an issue, how often do you dive right in and take action? How often do you start by asking questions to help the team member resolve the issue himself?

If your inclination is to jump into problem-solving mode, consider asking your team member the following questions first:

• “What’s most important to you about the issue?”

• “What problem are you really trying to solve?”

• “What have you tried already, and what did you learn from that?”

• “What would you like me to do in this situation?”

That last one is especially important: Get to the heart of what someone is truly asking before taking action. Does your team member just need you to listen, does she need your help brainstorming or would she like you to remove an obstacle to her progress? Don’t make assumptions.

Finally, pay attention to who owns implementation of the solution before you have finished the conversation. In some instances, you may want to take over due to the nature of the issue and sensitivity of the situation. However, challenge yourself to consider how you can help the individual be successful in resolving it himself or with the support of others.

This week, notice how you respond when your team approaches you with problems. Pay attention to your patterns and look for ways to guide your team to resolve more on their own. By keeping your priorities and your team’s development front and center, you will accomplish far more in the long run – by building a stronger team and strategically focusing your energy and effort.

Develop Your Team While Managing Your Energy

One of my clients recently struggled with a leadership dilemma: Her high performers energized her, while the team members who need more development — and thus more of her time — often left her drained. If her situation rings true for you, here are three ideas to help you guide your team’s growth while managing other priorities as well.  

Notice Your Energy On any team, some people will take more of your time and energy. How does spending time with them affect you? And how does it affect the way you engage with the rest of your team? Based on what you notice from your answers to these questions, proactively plan energizing activities or interactions right after draining situations. Remember that the quality of the activity matters more than the quantity of time you spend doing it, so it can be quick.

Express Gratitude Acknowledge and appreciate what each team member is doing right. We often take for granted that people know what’s working and focus our feedback on what should change, but your team needs to hear what they’re doing well so that they know to keep doing it. Be specific. Just saying “You’re doing a good job” doesn’t provide much useful information. And be prompt. Take a minute to pull your team member aside after a meeting or conference call to review what she did well. I also have clients who carve out a few minutes each week to send emails acknowledging good work. Quick tactics like these will give you energy while maximizing your team members’ strengths.

Cultivate the Right Mindset When working with the team members who require more of your energy, go in with a mindset of acceptance: They are who they are. What’s the best way to engage with them? And do you need to set any boundaries? Of course, you’re focused on helping the team member succeed, but also think about what you need in order to participate in a positive way. For example, I have a client who often lets feedback conversations drag on too long. And that has turned into reluctance to initiate this kind of conversation, even when it is important. By simply setting some time limits for these conversations, he changed his whole energy around these interactions.

This week, identify which of these strategies you will put into play. And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

Working with Millennials…and Everyone Else

Millennials are all around us. These young, enthusiastic Generation-Y professionals are gaining a foothold in the workplace and the world. Born in the early 1980s, these workers have been viewed across a broad spectrum from adaptable and skilled multitaskers to lazy, entitled and unmanageable job hoppers. Media outlets touting “30 under 30” and “The Young Entrepreneurs” are feeding the stereotype. A recent study by Cornerstone OnDemand focused on three generations' views of workplace technology. The State of Workplace Productivity study shared some interesting insights…as well as misconceptions about the working preferences of younger versus older workers.

The Cornerstone study revealed that millennials prefer in-person team work and are pro-gadget, but also may be hitting their tech limit. "Gen-Y workers, whom we have largely pigeonholed as having an insatiable appetite for technology, are expressing both a desire for more human, face-to-face interaction and frustration with information and technology overload," said Jason Corsello of Cornerstone OnDemand, which released its survey in November 2013.

So how do you work with – and for – them? In my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out., one of the chapters offer four practical strategies on creating a high performing team (among a host of other strategies to boost your effectiveness). Check it out to see if these easy-to-implement tips can help you reach your goals.

Set the Tone for 2014 with the Right Conversations

As last year ended, I encouraged you to reflect on what you learned in 2013 and what you want to take forward and leave behind. To support your goals and set the tone for the new year, consider three potential conversations that could move the ball in the right direction:

Your boss Kick off the year with a clear idea about what’s expected of you and your priorities for the next twelve months. To avoid misdirected time and energy, clarify and confirm with your boss what success really looks like. If your boss can’t articulate it for you, define success as you see it and ask for feedback.

Your team Make the highest and best use of your time and talent while building stronger capability within your team. Talk to individual team members about potential projects that can help them expand their skills and/or expertise. Look for opportunities within existing projects, whether that involves delegating some of your own work or redefining project roles. It may free up some of your time, and give you capacity to focus on where you can add the most value.

Your support staff Leverage your support staff to keep you focused. Have a conversation to make sure they are clear about your highest priorities (e.g., specific projects, relationships, and results) so they can help you focus and manage your time more effectively.  Enlist your staff to protect time for what matters most, including appointments with yourself to reflect and follow up, and to ensure that you are accessible.

Whether it’s these topics or others, this week I challenge you to initiate at least one conversation to lay the groundwork for a successful 2014. And remember, small steps can lead to big results.

How Do You Influence Others?

As leaders, we depend on the ability to influence those around us to garner support, drive organizational changes, and execute on our day-to-day responsibilities. If you’ve been feeling less than influential lately, start by evaluating your approach. The Center for Creative Leadership identifies three tactics for influencing: Head, Heart and Hand.

• Head – a logical appeal focused on organization and individual benefits and typically full of data and facts

• Heart – an emotional appeal linked to something the person cares about such as individual goals and values

• Hand – a cooperative appeal that offers collaboration, consultation, and alliances

First, identify which approach typically influences you.  Then consider which one you typically rely on to influence others.  They are often one in the same. Remember that persuasive leaders can skillfully use all three methods and select the approach most effective for the audience at hand.

By consistently matching your influence style to the individual, you will see people shift from resistance or compliance to true commitment – which can generate results with less effort.

This week, strategically consider what approach will resonate with the next person you want to influence, based on what you know about him or her. This small step can affect whether or not your message is heard or any action is taken on your behalf.

Making Awkward Feedback Easier

Whether you’re a new manager or veteran executive, there’s a certain kind of employee conversation that never seems to get any easier.

I’m sure you’ve been faced with it: An employee has a behavior, habit, or mannerism that’s giving people the wrong impression of her or diminishing her effectiveness. It’s not a performance issue, but it affects how the employee is perceived. And she probably doesn’t even realize she’s engaging in it.

I’ve worked with clients who dread these conversations and put them off. They’re worried that their feedback will be misunderstood, that they might damage the relationship or create needless drama. To help them take action, I remind them that as difficult as this kind of feedback can be to deliver, they are offering it out of genuine concern for the employee and a desire to help her succeed.

Here are three simple steps that can make these conversations easier.

1. Start with your intent

Remember that you’re having this conversation because you care about the employee and want to help her remove an obstacle that’s holding her back. You can always acknowledge that this is an awkward situation for both of you, but that it’s important to talk about the behavior. If you were in her shoes, you would want to hear the feedback. Expressing compassion and your own vulnerability can create a stronger connection in the moment and may help defuse the tension.

2. Communicate the impact

Help the employee understand her behavior by identifying it, providing information on when and where you’ve noticed it occurring, and sharing its impact. For example, maybe her sour expression surfaces primarily in long meetings with a key stakeholder group. Talk about the effect, from what you see or what you’ve heard from others. “I know this isn’t what you intend, but I’ve heard others say that your facial expressions sometimes leave them with the impression that you are resistant to their ideas.”

3. Be part of the solution

Offer ideas about what she should do more or less of. Sometimes it can be very powerful to ask the employee to focus on how she wants to show up in the interaction. In other words, by helping her identify what she does want others to notice or take away from their interaction with her (e.g., openness to ideas), she may stop engaging in the other limiting behavior.

After that, it’s a matter of finding tactics that work for her. That could mean using a visual reminder like a note with the word “open” on it, so she can see it during her meeting and pay more attention to her body language. If an employee is receptive to it, offer to help her monitor the behavior. That could involve giving a cue when the employee starts to engage in the distracting behavior during a meeting or setting aside time for feedback after the meeting.

This week, consider whether there’s an awkward conversation you’ve been putting off and decide how you will approach it with the mindset of helping your employee succeed. While it may be a difficult moment for both of you in the short term, ultimately you will find that it strengthens your relationship and builds trust in the long run. Remember, small steps lead to big results.

Put Your Coaching Skills to Work

As you know, I returned from ICF Conference in London two weeks ago. Now that I have had a chance to think about the experience a bit more, I realized how much change coaching can affect. Yes, I know it sounds weird coming from an executive coach. But as I sat in a ballroom of almost 1000 coaches from 58 countries, hearing example after example of how coaches have rallied together to help local communities recover after massive natural disasters, helped companies drive unprecedented business results, and collaborated to build coaching skills; I was truly proud to be part of the profession. It inspired me to do more and think about how I can continue to work with my clients and our local ICF chapters to think even bigger. So today, I want to challenge you to think about how you will put your coaching skills to work.

When was the last time you asked someone how you could help them achieve their career goals?

Throughout the years, I have regularly asked each of my teams what they want to get out of a particular project or experience, whether it was something work-related or a volunteer opportunity. Doing this allowed me to think more strategically about their development and how I could put my network to work for them. Many of you may have conversations about career goals as part of the performance management process (goal setting, mid-year, and year end), but I encourage you to revisit them throughout the year.

How often do you delegate with development in mind?

As you gain experience, certain aspects of your job may feel routine. So you may underestimate how much you can teach others about what you do and how you do it. The next time you delegate something, do it with the other person’s development in mind. How can you stretch them? How can you leverage their strengths? Asking these questions may shift how you position the work and how you work with the person to complete it.

How much do you advise versus coach?

Although there are times when people truly need your advice (perhaps because they don’t know what they don’t know), there’s so much power in asking thought-provoking questions to generate new insight. This can change a person’s perspective and the choices they ultimately make about the path forward. So before you think about jumping straight to giving advice, stop and ask yourself whether an open-ended question could be more impactful.

So, I urge you to put your coaching skills to work this week. Identify one step you’ll take to make a difference. And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

© 2012 Neena Newberry | All rights reserved.