The Power of One Conversation

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone tells you that something you said made a real difference in his or her life? Maybe it's a conversation you don't even remember, but it helped the other person make a change or shift perspective. As busy as we all are, it's important to realize how much you can affect another person with a single conversation. Just making someone feel validated, supported or heard makes a big impact and takes only a few minutes of your time.

We all have those times when we feel stuck or frustrated and need to talk through a challenge. To be a great conversation partner when someone needs a sounding board, you don't have to have all the answers or come up with an action plan. He may be in a frustrating situation that he can't change in the short term, but even helping him shift his attitude about the situation can be extremely valuable.

The key thing is just to be fully present for the other person. Take in what she's saying, both with her words and with her tone and her body language. That kind of deep listening is a gift. Take time to reflect what you notice: "You sound very upset about this." “You sound drained.” "You just don't seem like yourself."

These three questions can be helpful to ask the other person move forward:

• How do you feel right now?

• What do you really need right now?

• What do you most want right now?

(They're also great questions to ask yourself when you're feeling frustrated or stuck.)

The first two questions can help the other person identify her emotions and think strategically. Perhaps she feels disappointed and needs to feel appreciated. Sometimes we tend to stay "in our heads" about tough work challenges, so also getting in touch with our emotions can help us find the best solutions.

The "what do you want" question helps the other person start to take action to get centered again. That could mean getting positive encouragement from someone else, taking a break, getting some sleep, going for a stress-relieving run, or spending quality time with family.

This week, notice the colleagues around you who may need you to lend an ear or share your insight, and make yourself available for conversation. This small step for you can lead to big results for someone else.

What’s Next for You this Year?

As the year progresses or comes to a close, take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture. As high performers, we’re always pushing to achieve and tend to leap from one goal to the next without a pause.

Taking some reflection time, though, helps you be more strategic. Here are five questions to consider:

1. What have you accomplished this year? What has most excited you? What have you been most proud of? Those answers will give you insights on how to put your strengths and passions into play more powerfully.

2. What has helped or hindered your progress? Revisit any goals you set for the year. Do you need to shift your approach in any way to reach those goals this year?

3. What have you learned about your leadership? As you consider the answer to this question, identify what you want to take forward into the rest of the year, and what you want to leave behind.

4. How will you celebrate what you've done so far? However eager you are to keep moving forward, remember to pause to celebrate. You'll give your energy a boost.

5. What's next? Now that you've taken stock of where you are, be deliberate about how you want to move forward during the rest of the year. Where do you want to focus your energy and effort, given what you have learned so far this year?

This week, set aside some time to reflect on these questions and set your course for the rest of the year. You'll find more ideas on becoming proactive instead of reactive in my video "Making the Most of Your Time." Even pausing for a few minutes can open the door to new insights. Remember that small steps lead to big results.

FlyGirl's Tips to Soar in Your Career

As I mentioned in a past post, I spoke last month at the 2014 Working Mother Media Multicultural Women's National Conference in New York. As one of the U.S. Marine Corps’ first African American female pilots and America’s first African American female combat pilot, Vernice "FlyGirl" Armour was one of the most-talked-about presenters at the conference.

The consultant, trainer, speaker and author delivered an energetic keynote speech. I want to share some of the key points I took away from Armour's talk at the conference. I think you'll find them inspiring and energizing, and many are aligned with how I coach leaders.

• Look and act like you're already at the next level.

  As I always say, “Think about how you show up.” Consider what it says about your capabilities and potential. By noticing and aligning your behavior – in an authentic way – with what is valued at the next level, others will see more potential in you. Learn more about the importance of how you show up in this video, and check out my new booklet "Building Executive Presence" (part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM) for more strategies you can quickly put into play.

• Make a decision.

  Don't sit on the fence. Trust me; it will hurt after a while. If you need some extra motivation, learn how to escape three traps that keep you on the fence instead of moving forward.

• Acknowledge the obstacle in front of you, but don’t give it power.

  This was one of Armour’s biggest messages. She talked about the importance of recognizing the roadblocks, but simply as a way to strategize around moving past them. People often put too much emphasis on the obstacle itself, giving it a life of its own. She encourages you to avoid making excuses; commit to the commitment; take action — no matter how minor it may seem; and review, recharge and re-attack.

• What is your flight plan?

  Without clarity around your direction, it’s hard to move forward. By taking time to get really specific about the action you will take, and writing the steps down, you will increase the likelihood of achieving your goals.

• You have permission to engage now.

  Stop raising your hand waiting for others to give you permission and just move forward. You are more empowered than you may realize. Recognize when you just need to take action and inform.

• As leaders, what seeds are you planting?

  Each of us has the opportunity to develop future talent. What are you doing to cultivate others? In my own work, I talk about the importance of delegating to help others grow. Another e-booklet in the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM. "Building a Strong Team," has more ideas on developing others.

• Who needs a runway? Take off from where you are.

  Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and go for it. I often hear stories of people who tie their commitment to taking action to another condition being met. At the end of the day, that may never happen. What would mean to you if you achieved what you want? What would be happening in your life? How would it feel? As you think through the answers to those questions, they will motivate you to take the first step.

What piece of Armour's advice resonates the most with you now? How can you put it into play this week? Remember, soaring like FlyGirl starts with small steps.

PhotoCredit - Wikipedia

Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

As we talk this month about resilience, I want to share a resource to help you build your ability to bounce back.  These "Thinking Traps" were identified by the Hay Group, a global management consulting firm.   If we recognize when we fall into these traps, we can start to see new ways to move past a setback or challenge.   Take a look at this list. Which Thinking Traps have you experienced?  

Personalizing

When you personalize, you assume that a negative event — say, a meeting that went off the rails — is entirely your responsibility.   While you should always assess what went well and what you would do differently next time, routinely taking on all the blame may undermine your confidence and make you overlook the true root of the problem. Instead, try asking someone you trust to help you see the full picture of what happened and what action to take now.  

Externalizing

The other extreme, externalizing, means that you take no responsibility for a problem. If you externalize, you would blame the off-the-rails meeting on everyone else while overlooking how you contributed.   Passing the buck in this way can keep you from learning and growing and could block your success in the long run. Make it a practice to simply notice how others react, verbally and nonverbally, to what you say and do.  

Magnifying and Minimizing

Do you ever exaggerate the negative aspects of an event and ignore or downplay the positives? In our meeting example, perhaps you're overlooking that it was smooth and productive until the last few minutes.   As high performers, we have rigorous personal standards, but overemphasizing failure over success will limit your ability to put your strengths more powerfully into play. Take time to learn from your successes so you can repeat them. And you can't do that unless you first acknowledge them.  

Overgeneralizing

This means forming broad judgments about yourself or others without evidence. If, after one rough meeting, you declare that you're terrible at presenting, you're overgeneralizing.   By simply asking yourself what went well and what you should have done differently, you will begin to form a more accurate picture of your performance. This is another situation where it could help to get an outside viewpoint on how you're really doing.  

Mind Reading

When you fall into this trap, you assume that you know what someone else is thinking. You can psych yourself out when you believe the worst.   If you're prone to mind reading, make it a practice to ask more questions to confirm and clarify. You might be surprised at what you learn.  

Emotional Reasoning

This means assuming that your emotions are accurate indicators about the nature of the event, without looking for other evidence. Perhaps you're so upset about what went wrong at the meeting that you don't see what went well.   Get more information and evidence to make a more rational assessment. It also always helps to breathe and step back from your emotions.  

Catastrophizing

We've probably all been guilty of exaggerating the negative impact of an event: "The meeting was terrible — now I definitely don’t have a shot at getting promoted."   In this situation, bring yourself back to the here and now and out of your worries about the future. Simply ask yourself, "What is the first step I need to take after this setback?"   This week, notice whether you're falling into any of these Thinking Traps. What is one small step you will take to shift your thinking and make yourself more resilient? You'll find more ideas on building your resilience and effectiveness on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. And remember, small steps lead to big results.

How to Discover Your Resilience

A client I've worked with about six months just got some great news: a promotion! I'm very proud of her, especially because she had just gone through an experience that had shaken her confidence. When a new role left her battling self-doubt, we worked together to get her "back to herself" so she could be a star performer again (and show this to others).  She's a great example of resilience, our blog theme this month. And the secret to her resilience was all in her mindset. She was willing to explore what had worked in the past to figure out what to do going forward. Together, we looked back at another time when she had been in a new situation and got up to speed quickly. This helped us discover strategies to use now.   If you need some insights on how to get through your own difficult situation, try working with the questions below. First, think of a challenge or setback you faced in the past and how you got through it. Then ask yourself:

• What was going on?

• What did you do in response?

• What worked?

• What mindset did you have? How you look at things makes the biggest difference in whether you're resilient. What were you thinking and feeling? (And how accurate were those thoughts and feelings?) How did you frame the situation?

• How did you engage others?

• What did you have to let go of? (For example, a process, a situation or a belief)

• What worked that surprised you?

• What skills did you use?

• What is one thing that you did then that could help you today?

My client found clues in her past that unlocked the resilience she needed today. This week, use these questions to gain insights from your past successes to help with a current challenge. For more ideas on finding your best success strategies, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. Even taking a few small steps can lead you big results.

4 Powerful Questions to Get You Moving Forward

Our blog topic this month is resilience. How you bounce back from challenges big and small is one of the keys to your success — not to mention your happiness. Sometimes finding the way forward takes some self-reflection. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated or tired of dealing with the same problems again and again, there might be solutions right in front of you that you just can’t see.

These four questions can help clear away your mental blocks so that you can move forward.

1. What’s your mindset? Start by looking at your attitude about your situation. What are you telling yourself? For example, it could be:

• “I don’t have the energy to deal with this.”

• “Why try harder? It won’t really make a difference.”

• “Things will never get better.”

Your mindset may be the very thing that's holding you back, because it affects your choices and how you engage with others. If you find that your self-talk is negative, what messages do you want to replace the current ones with so that you can make more progress?

2. What are you tolerating that you need to let go of? We all have things, large and small, that we tolerate in our lives. When you hold onto them for too long, they can significantly affect your progress. Take a look at the list below to see if any of these apply to you:

• Being disorganized, resulting in unproductive time

• Failing to plan ahead, allowing lower priority work to take over

• Doing work that others should be doing because of a failure to hold others accountable or delegate

What one small change can you make to free up some energy, and create capacity to find a solution?

3. What choices are you making that are keeping you where you are? Things typically don’t just happen to us. Outcomes are usually the result of a series or choices that we and others have made along the way. When we make some choices over and over again, they form patterns that may not serve us well.

So, if you’re frustrated by what’s going on around you, ask yourself how you are enabling that situation to continue. The following questions may provoke some ideas:

• Do you keep trying the same approach, but expect a different result?

• Are you putting off a difficult conversation?

• Have your engaged others in solving the problem with you (e.g., escalated the issue that needs to be addressed)?

As you consider the questions above, what do you notice about your own behavior?

4. Are you burnt out? Finally, your physical health could be a surprising factor that's keeping you from making progress. Are you getting enough sleep? What does your diet look like? Feeling physically drained can lead you to make more emotional rather than rational decisions. Even getting 15 minutes more of sleep, making sure you don’t skip a meal, or taking five-minute breaks throughout the day can make a big difference.

If you are having difficulty answering any of these questions, ask someone to think through them with you. Choose someone who will be candid with you. Remember that small changes lead to big results. For more practical ideas and resources, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

Increase Your Influence in One Conversation

We’re sharing ideas this month to help you be the kind of leader you want to be. This week, I want to tell you about a strategy that can make all the difference in managing a work relationship. I spent a large part of my career in various leadership roles at Deloitte. Every time I started a new project with a team, I would have a conversation with each person at the outset. Our discussion topics ranged from goals to strengths to communication styles.

First, we would talk about that person’s goals for the year and for her career as a whole.

• What skills and exposure do you want?

• Who do you want to work with and why?

• What are your specific goals for the current project?

• What would make you feel that the project was a great experience?

Next, I asked questions to get a handle on her strengths and preferences:

• In the context of the work we’re about to do, what should I know about what you’re really good at and any relevant past experiences? (This reveals critical information that otherwise might not surface as quickly and can be a good team exercise.)

• What is the best way to communicate with you (face-to-face or email)?

• If I need something from you quickly, what’s the best way to approach it?

As I learned more about each team member, I also shared what worked for me and my preferences as a leader.

From there, we set some agreements on working together. I let the team member know what I could offer through the current project that fit her goals. We could decide on a communication approach that worked for us both and on how we would gauge our progress along the way.

This conversation was a great way to set the stage for an open and effective working relationship. It allowed us to become more proactive about creating the right opportunities, and the team member understood that I was coming from a place of genuine interest in her goals and development.

Whether you’re working with a new team or an existing one, it’s never too late to ask some of these questions. This week, I challenge you to identify one conversation you’d like to have, or one question you would like to ask from the list above. You can find more ideas like this one in the chapter “Strategies to Create a High-Performing Team” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember, small steps can lead to big results

Do You Fall Into These Leadership Traps?

This month, we’re talking about what kind of leader you want to be. As an executive coach, I’ve helped many leaders identify and address their personal stumbling blocks so that they can reach their full potential. Take a look at this list of some of the most common leadership traps. Which ones strike a chord with you?

The trap: You get bogged down in the small stuff. You often get distracted from the work that’s going to make the most difference. The fix: Identify the top three areas that reflect where you can have the biggest impact on the business and make the highest and best use of your skills. This is where you should focus your energy.

The trap: You don’t connect the dots, so colleagues may misinterpret the meaning behind your actions. The fix: First, get clear about the top three things that guide your leadership. Then use it to frame up what you say and do. In other words, regularly give others insight on what you think is important, how you measure success and the results you are trying to achieve.

The trap: You aren’t communicating the bigger picture. Are you telling people what you want to do but leaving out the “why”? The fix: Connect what you are proposing to how it relates to what’s right for the business or team.

The trap: Emotions get the better of you. You have trouble managing your moods and reactions. Your tone and body language convey stress or frustration. The fix: Practice self-care to keep yourself centered, grounded and positive. Learn strategies to manage your emotions when your buttons get pushed.

The trap: You bring more negative energy than positive. The ability to spot and flag problems or risks is a strength, but you may be coming off as a naysayer. The fix: Frame your concerns more positively. There’s a big difference between “There’s a lot that could go wrong with this idea.” and “I really like Points A, B and C of this idea. And let’s also consider these other aspects…”

The trap: You don’t make the most of your team. You sense there’s untapped potential and a lack of engagement. The fix: Get to know the strengths and passions of your team members so that you can proactively assign them work that plays to them, and will get them excited.

The trap: You ignore office politics. Perhaps you’d prefer to remain above it all and let your work speak for itself, but what’s going on politically in your office affects your ability to get results. The fix:  Look at who has the resources, information and influence you need to get business results. How can you get those people in your corner?

The trap: You put networking on the backburner. I get it: You’re busy, and networking seems time-consuming or intimidating. But you need strong relationships to accomplish your goals and help your career grow. The fix: Make networking a habit. Even taking a few minutes each week to pass along an interesting article or make an introduction can strengthen your relationships.

Which of these traps do you fall into? This week, pick one of the areas that give you trouble and see what you can change. My book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens” has more resources you can use. Remember, you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Small steps can lead to big results.

Lead by Helping Others Grow

We're talking this month about what kind of leader you are. One of the leadership qualities that will help you succeed is the ability to develop others.  

Creating growth opportunities, though, can be easy to overlook in our rush to get things done. Take a look at the list below. Identify the strategies you already leverage well today and one or two that you would like to start doing to help others develop.

1. Ask people about their passions, interests and the type of opportunities they seek.

2. Give others opportunities to be the external face of the organization, such as with a professional association or community group.

3. Invite others to meetings that will give them exposure to senior leaders or raise their visibility.

4. Introduce people to others who can help them achieve their career goals.

5. Share a colleague’s accomplishments so that others can tap into their strengths, and to give them more visibility.

6. Give feedback in the moment on what your team members do well and suggestions about how to be even more effective.

7. Delegate work with a team member's professional development in mind.

8. Ask someone to deliver a presentation to share their knowledge and raise their profile.

9. Give an opportunity for a rotation or a special assignment (beyond a stretch project).

10. Give a team member an opportunity to provide peer mentoring.

What did you notice about how you're creating growth opportunities for others? I challenge you to put at least one of these ideas into play more powerfully this week. For more ideas on creating a high-performing team, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through A New Lens.

The Power of Celebrating Successes

When was the last time you celebrated success — I mean, really celebrated? As high performers, we often go without a break from one project to the next, not pausing to look at what we learned or how far we and others have come.  

But taking time to notice and acknowledge is crucial. We're talking about lifting others up this month, and celebrating their successes is one of the key ways to do that.

The first step is getting in the practice of acknowledging your own successes and looking at what you did to make them happen. You can then expand that kind of thinking to your team. We're not talking about just taking "rah-rah" moments, but rather looking at the positive impact made by others and how they did it.

Here are five easy-to-implement strategies to get you started.

• Use regular debrief sessions. When a project or a meeting is complete, take a few minutes to talk about what went well. (Of course, you should also discuss what to do differently next time, but don't gloss over the positives in a rush to offer suggestions.)

• Ask people what they are the most proud of in how they accomplished something. You'll learn about what motivates them, which is important information to know as you work to lift others.

• Start meetings by asking people to share their successes or what's going well. This gives them permission to get excited about their victories, and it gives you more insight as a leader.

• Send handwritten notes to highlight something specific a team member did well, or make a point to give one-on-one praise outside of group debrief sessions. This reinforces what you value and want to see more of.

• Don't forget little symbolic gestures. A celebration of success doesn't have to be something formal or planned. Giving a funny memento of a project or taking the team out for an impromptu lunch or happy hour are meaningful ways to show appreciation,

Celebrating successes can help keep your team members engaged and give them insights on how they can repeat their successes. Whatever strategies you choose, take a few minutes to bring more celebration into your week. For more ideas on bringing out the best in yourself and others, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.

Learn from Your Own Advice

The advice you give can tell you a lot about yourself. I was thinking about this recently during an event at the George W. Bush Institute. I’ve written before about my passion for the institute’s Women’s Initiative Fellows Program, and I am honored to be faculty and a mentor for the current fellowship class. This class is made up of 18 women from Tunisia who are enhancing their leadership skills and working together to empower women to catalyze change.

Earlier this month, the women completed the first part of the yearlong program, a five-week stay in the U.S. During the closing event at the Bush center, they shared what they have learned through the fellowship.

One of the women said something that really resonated with me. She explained how she would use the letters ABCD to remember the most important advice she had received in the program

A is for “Add value.” Whatever you do, focus on creating value.

B is for “Be passionate.” You’ll be more creative and resourceful if you’re passionate about what you’re doing.

C is for “Connect.” Develop genuine, authentic relationships.

D is for “Do it.” Be willing to put yourself out there.

Our articles this month have focused on being bold about what makes you unique. The areas this Tunisian woman highlights reveal a lot to us about what makes her unique as leader.

My challenge to you this week is to think about what you would have said in her shoes. If you were asked to share your best advice on what drives success, how would you respond? Your answers will give you insight into what works for you and what makes you unique. I’ll be drawing inspiration from these Bush Institute fellows as they change the world, and I hope you will be, too.

Celebrate Your Success Story

Your shoes would be hard to fill. As we continue our April theme of being bold about what makes you unique, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on how you've succeeded so far. Even accomplished leaders sometimes take their distinctive skills and abilities for granted.

What themes do you see in your success story? Think about the kinds of work that you typically get asked to do. That's a good indicator of your strengths. What have you heard others say about why they value you work? What skills and perspectives do you have that would be hard to replace?

For inspiration, here are some stories of women with humble beginnings whose boldness took them to the top of their fields:

Marissa Mayer, CEO at Yahoo Long before her Silicon Valley days, Marissa Mayer worked as a grocery store clerk. But even then, she was known for fast results. To work in the express lane, she had to scan 40 items a minute.

Indra Nooyi, chairman and CEO at PepsiCo Showing early on that she could take on tough challenges, Indra Nooyi paid her own way through college. When she came to the U.S. to attend graduate school at Yale University, she took a job as a receptionist in her dorm. She worked the late-night shift — from midnight to 5 a.m.— because it paid 50 cents more per hour.

Tina Fey, writer/producer/actress Living in Chicago in the mid-'90s, Tina Fey worked as the child-care registrar at a YMCA before famed improv troupe Second City invited her to join. In 1997, she sent scripts to "Saturday Night Live" producer Lorne Michaels, who then hired her as a writer.

This week, I challenge you to look back on how far you've come in your career and identify the top two things that have helped you get where you are. From this, you'll see how you've been bold and all of the unique things you've already done. And, I hope, you'll be inspired to do more.

How Well Do You Toot Your Own Horn?

In April, we’re celebrating how your uniqueness is the key to your success. And while we’re at it, we want to encourage you to “toot your own horn” more about those successes.  

We’ve talked before about how self-promotion isn’t selfish if you’re providing your boss and others valuable info about your work and why you can’t assume that your accomplishments will speak from themselves.

This week, look a little more closely at how you’re doing with self-promotion. Which of these profiles best describes you?

Active self-promoter. You regularly put yourself out there to share valuable information about your results and how you are getting them. You know the right people to connect with and you focus on staying visible to them. The challenge for you may be to do this without coming across as self-centered.

Selective self-promoter. You get that self-promotion is important, but you have difficulty doing it on a consistent basis. Like many others, your activities here may be more externally driven (i.e., by the timing of promotion and pay decisions, restructuring at your company, or other events that drive the need to communicate more about your performance).

Heads-down worker. Your mindset is “I just need to get my work done.” You value results and quality, and you believe that if you do a good job people will notice (see our previous blog on why that’s not necessarily so). You may quickly dismiss self-promotion as a “game” that you don’t want to play.

Praise deflector. Do you have a shield that redirects any compliments you receive (“Ellen was the one who really made the project work!”) or minimizes your accomplishment (“Meeting that deadline wasn’t really a big deal.”)? If so, be mindful of the messages you are indirectly sending to others about your performance.

Most people tend to fall in the middle two categories. Active self-promoters and praise deflectors are more rare. You may also find that you fall into a couple of categories. If so, pay attention to how you are showing up and with whom.

This week, take a few minutes to simply notice how often you take opportunities to share your accomplishment and results with others. Where would you like to be on the self-promotion scale above?

This article is adapted from our video “Assess How Well You Toot Your Own Horn Today.” You can find it and other videos from our “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn” series on the Learn page of our website.

Introverts Can Be Bold Too

With all the meetings, presentations and networking events, sometimes the business world can feel like the domain of extroverts. But introverts can be some of the most successful leaders. People often assume that introversion means being shy or antisocial in some way. Instead, it has to do with how you respond to stimulation.  It is not merely a preference; it operates at the level of the nervous system.

Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” opened a great discussion about the unique value of introverts, who, according to Cain, make up one-third to one-half of Americans.

As we talk this month about being bold, remember that an introvert’s quiet strength is its own form of boldness.  Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert (as I am), here’s some basic information you should understand.

Recognize the value you bring

Although introverts and extroverts are equally intelligent (as measured by their IQs), they have different problem-solving styles. Cain points out that introverts usually think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, and are less likely to give up.  This means greater accuracy and persistence in their work, which offers tremendous value to a team or organization.

Introverts can also be less reward-sensitive than extroverts. This means that they can focus on the end-goal and take time to process the valuable lessons they learn as they pursue the goal. In other words, they can downplay the reward to consider other important factors and compare the results against their expectations.

Extroverts, on the other hand, may not reflect long enough to glean these insights. As they face roadblocks, they often increase their pace in an effort to knock down roadblocks and reach the goal quickly. When forced to slow down, an extrovert will do just as well as an introvert.

Manage your energy

Although they like people, introverts recharge by spending time alone. After a day full of stimulating meetings designed to drive collaboration, introverts may feel depleted. Introverts should plan quiet time to keep their energy up, especially if they work in an open environment. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, remember that some activities will drain you while others will energize you. Recognize the difference and proactively plan your day to manage your energy.

As you think about your leadership, explore the work of Susan Cain to learn more about introversion and the value of the quieter side of leadership. And remember that every introvert and extrovert may not fit these descriptions.

Be Bold – Be Unique: The Power of Risks and Relationships - Deborah Gibbins, Chief Financial Officer, Mary Kay Inc.

We are going to look at how to make your mark by leveraging your unique strengths.

Deb Gibbins employs her skills by taking risks and building strong relationships. As the chief financial officer at Mary Kay Inc., Deb oversees the company's strategic planning and financial growth. Before joining Mary Kay in 2013, Deb held senior leadership roles within PepsiCo’s Frito-Lay North America division and Arthur Andersen LLP.  She serves on the board of directors for the United Way of Metropolitan Dallas.

In her professional life and her community roles, Deb is viewed as a connector.  She consistently looks for ways to build a bridge or initiate a relationship that would help people she meets.

I asked Deb to participate in the WBAP/KLIF Texas Women in Business series, sponsored by Newberry Executive Solutions. Her input was enlightening.

Q.  What has contributed to your successful career?

A. First, a willingness to embrace discomfort. I’ve accomplished far more by accepting messy assignments, the ones no one else wanted, than seeking the assignments that appeared to be a piece of cake.  I’ve learned so much by closing my eyes and jumping into a pool of problems and figuring out how to solve those problems, one by one.

Second, I approach most issues with a sense of humor and not taking myself too seriously. Lastly, I recognize that I have to lean on the support of my friends and family.  I think about my relationships as a bank account.  In order to make withdrawals from that relationship account, you have to take the time to make lots of deposits. I remind myself every day I benefit from people who were willing to sponsor and mentor me along the way.

Q. Tell us about a challenge you overcame in your career.

A. I find that most people struggle with knowing the right time to make a career change – a new assignment, a new function, a new company. Trading off the comforts of the known with the rewards of trying something new is always a challenge. When I am faced with a career change, I consult my trusted advisors – sponsors, mentors, friends and my husband — for their advice.  And then I make an old-fashioned list of pros and cons. I weigh the benefits with the risks and assess what I can do, if anything, to mitigate the risks. More often than not, I opt for the change, and once I do, I never look back. When you make a decision, embrace it and don’t lose sleep thinking about “what if.”

Q. How does the future look for women leaders in business?

A. The future for businesswomen who want and have the aptitude for leadership is bright. But not all women want to lead. For those who do, I increasingly see more recognition for the value of female perspective and a woman’s approach to strategic decision-making and risk-taking. The biggest challenge will be ensuring there is a solid pipeline of talented women leaders. Today, there is often a gap in the pipeline as talented women step out of the work force to raise a family.

Q. What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business?

A. I am so fortunate to work for a company founded 50 years ago by one of America’s greatest female entrepreneurs, Mary Kay Ash. Mary Kay wrote several books full of advice for succeeding in business. The principles of Mary Kay Ash are just as relevant today, and I look to them when offering advice on making a mark in business. Two of my favorites go hand in hand. First, "be a risk taker” and encourage those around you to take risks. Second, “don’t rest on your laurels." In today’s fast-paced world, you are either moving forward through self-improvement or falling behind.

As you consider the two prominent themes in Deb’s interview, risk-taking and relationships, challenge yourself to step out a little further –  and leverage your relationships to give you the support you need.  For more tips on how to do this, check out the chapter “What is sitting on the fence costing you?” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. available on Amazon.

Photo Credit:  Mary Kay

Be Bold – Be Unique: Debbie Storey, the Servant Leader

I’d like to highlight my colleague Debbie Storey. Debbie is senior vice president talent development and chief diversity officer at AT&T. Debbie leads AT&T’s efforts to foster an inclusive workforce and develop diverse talent. She also participated in our Texas Women in Business segment, airing on WBAP/KLIF radio in Dallas, Texas. I work with many leaders at AT&T, and Debbie’s name comes up frequently in conversations as someone they look up to as a role model. She is one of the few leaders you will meet who truly invests in others. She wholeheartedly believes in the power of coaching and developing others, and makes herself accessible to do so. In Debbie’s world, there is no hierarchy. She treats each person with respect, takes a genuine interest in them, and offers support.  Her leadership style is truly a differentiator and has notable business impact. I have seen how it fosters greater commitment, loyalty, and results.

During her Texas Women in Business interview, Debbie shared some insights into her career and strategies that have helped her gain success.

Q. What has contributed to success in your career?

A:  I wanted to be a leader from an early age but never wanted others to follow me because of my position. Rather, I wanted them to follow because they were inspired to achieve a vision. I have always cared most about helping people grow, achieve, and succeed. I focus on creating a vision, connecting them to that vision, and then coaching them to do their part to achieve it.  That means challenging them to innovate, take risks, and celebrating big and small contributions and successes.

I also believe that I am not the smartest person in the room. In other words, that I alone don’t hold the answers. The higher you go in an organization, the more you have the opportunity to move into new roles or unfamiliar territory and the less you have to rely on others around you for answers.  The best leaders don’t necessarily have the best answers, but are highly skilled at knowing the right one when they see it. I am not focused on executing my own mission, but on serving those I am leading (whose care I am charged with) and truly listening.

Q. In your opinion, how does the future look for women leaders in business?

A: Women are more educated than ever before, studies show that women excel at the skills considered essential for top leadership, women enter the workforce with as much ambition as men, and companies with more women at the top and on boards outperform in terms of business and financial performance. The data is irrefutable – women are good for business.

There are more conversations taking place – in the media, the board room, and at the highest levels. So, there is more awareness and focus, which will ultimately lead to more opportunities. On the other hand, we are not making progress rapidly so we still have a lot of ground to cover. The bottom line is that success will not be measured by the number of women at the top, but rather when every woman has a choice about the path she wants to pursue – without artificial barriers and with abundant opportunities and resources.

Q. What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business?

A: There are four things I would advise women to do:

1. There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but few will capture your heart. Pursue those.

2. Understand the importance and power of building the right network and never hesitate to leverage that network to get feedback, advice and sponsorship

3. Make your interests and your aspirations known. You will be overlooked for opportunities if others aren’t aware of what you aspire to

4. Remember that comfort and growth cannot peacefully coexist. If you want to grow – and I think we all innately want to grow – you have to get out of your comfort zone. Your knees may shake but as you begin to step forward they will strengthen and carry you forward.

As I reflect on Debbie’s comments, I want to challenge you to think about how you will take the lessons from her career and apply them to your own life. For more strategies that you can start putting into play today, take a look at Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens available on Amazon.

What's Worked for Me

Recently, I have done several radio and podcast interviews and have had many mentoring conversations. All of this has forced me to think about what I’ve learned and what’s guided me in my career. Identifying what’s worked for you is the first step toward repeating your successes, because it allows you to more deliberately put it into play. As I look back at my experiences in the corporate world, three things stand out for me. Differentiating myself. When I started my company, I underestimated the importance of truly helping others realize what I brought to the table and how those skills and experience could help them address the high priority issues in front of them. Newberry Executive Solutions has a niche focused on high performing women leaders (although we do a good amount of work with both men and women). Getting to a place where I became really clear about what differentiates me and my company has been vital.

So, before you can tell others what makes you stand out, you have to recognize it in yourself. To get started, answer these questions:

• If someone had to describe you to someone else, what three words or phrases would you want them to say?

• How has each of those three attributes affected your success and results? Identify at least one example for each.

Focusing on value. In my world, value to my corporate clients means providing them with practical, high-impact services and products that accelerate performance and results, in a high pressure work environment. For the individuals that I coach, it’s about helping them realize their potential and achieve what matters to them. This often means helping them really own and leveraging their strengths in a way they haven’t before.

What does providing value look like for you? It may be developing strong teams, or making positive change happen or shaping strategic direction. Once you’ve pinpointed how you like to provide value, what one thing can you do right now to further leverage it? Who could benefit from your skill set?

Investing in relationships. Focusing on cultivating genuine relationships with people outside of my day-to-day areas (i.e., different industries, functions, and levels) has helped me personally and professionally. Looking back to my 20s, I didn’t realize how important this would be. Those relationships helped me successfully navigate through significant career transitions every 3-4 years. And I have also had the opportunity to give back as well, by making connections, sharing information, and providing support.

Before you move on with your day, take a few minutes to think about what has worked for you – whether it was in your last meeting, on your last project, in your last role, or in your current role.  You can decide how big or small you’d like to make the scope of your question. The point is to start asking the question more often.

5 Ways to Feed Your Creativity

No matter what field you work in, creativity is a big part of being a leader. It helps with everything from bringing new products to life to guiding your team be their best. As we continue our April theme of exploring how to be unique and bold in your career, let's look at a few ways to nurture your unique creativity. Observe more

Creative people see possibilities everywhere and constantly take in information. Whether you use a notebook or a smartphone app, get in the habit of being more present. If it helps, jot down your observations. As you do this more often, you'll start noticing patterns, making new connections, and gaining more insight.

Ask the big questions

When you run into the "that's the way we've always done it" mindset, challenge yourself to take a fresh look. Where do the improvement opportunities lie in those situations?  Ask the right questions to help others look at things from a different perspective and “connect the dots” in ways they haven’t been before.

Seek new experiences

Openness can spark creative output. By pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, personally or professionally— you'll see the creative payoff in your work. Remember that this could also include challenging yourself to spend time with people with different experiences and points of view than your own.

'Fail up'

Sometimes creativity means looking for the lessons or new opportunities in an obstacle or setback. Reframing failures this way increases resilience by depersonalizing tough situations, and seeking the gems within them.

Make a linkage to internal motivators

Psychologists have shown that creative people are energized by challenging activities, a sign of intrinsic motivation. Research suggests that simply thinking of inherent reasons to perform an activity may be enough to boost creativity. In other words, think beyond the task to the value it offers or what it would mean to you if you accomplished it.

This week, take a few minutes to notice how you feed your creativity, and select one strategy to put into play more fully. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

Be Bold – Be Unique: Lisa Amoroso, Senior Director, Diversity and Inclusion, Frito-Lay North America

During April, we continue to focus on what makes each of us unique. As part of our Texas Women in Business sponsorship on WBAP/KLIF, we asked Lisa Amoroso to share what has really helped her get traction in her career. Lisa is the senior director of diversity and inclusion for Frito-Lay North America. She joined Frito-Lay in 2003 as a supply chain manager and has continued to advance in the company. One of the things I appreciate about Lisa is her boundless energy – her spark. She brings it to every role and task. During the years that I have known her, she has always been willing to push the envelope to do the right thing, and has gotten a lot done with limited resources.  Here are a few nuggets from her interview:

Q: What has contributed to success in your career?

A: There are four key competencies that have benefited me the most in my career.

1. Agility: The ability to flex to cultures, work approaches and people’s style and to shift priorities

2. Relationships: Building a comprehensive network and leveraging it effectively

3. Execution: Being clear on the outcome and delivering it

4. Perseverance: Pushing through adversity

Q: How does the future look for women leaders in business?

A: I believe the future is brighter than ever before. Companies are more aware of how critical women are to business outcomes, so they are working on becoming more attractive to women. For example, at Frito-Lay, our leaders have engaged our associates in cultural changes that will drive a more inclusive environment where women can thrive.

Q: What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business?

A: Three things come to mind.

1.  Find the place where you can excel. Each of us has strengths and passions, so figure out what role will allow you to leverage your strengths the majority of the time. I was fortunate to find a company early in my career that allowed me to explore different roles to discover those that I am passionate about.

2.  Don’t doubt yourself.  Stop the negative inner voice and exude inner and outer confidence.

3.  Don’t sacrifice anything you believe in – especially your values and family.

Lisa has her sights clearly set, and definitely leverages her passion and energy to achieve her goals. To help you keep your passion in the forefront, check out the chapter, “Keep Your Passion Front and Center”, in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out.  available on Amazon.

Photo Credit: Lisa Amoroso