Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn

Over the past three years, my most requested presentation has been Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn. It may surprise you to know that individuals at all levels of organizations struggle with self-promotion. Many find self-promotion draining and difficult but absolutely essential - yes, a necessary evil.  I don’t like it any more than you do, but I learned how to do it over the years because I had to. At Deloitte, I worked on consulting projects all over the country, where the partners and directors who made decisions about my pay and promotion often had no direct visibility to my work. So, I had to find ways to talk about my results and accomplishments and arm others with that information – in a way that worked for me. Today, I help my clients do the same. To get you moving in the right direction, I want to share three common roadblocks to self-promotion and how to move past them.  

1. “My good work will speak for itself. I don’t have time for these games.”

I can’t tell you how often I hear this phrase. It’s usually from talented individuals who do great work but detest political games (i.e. affectionately called “the heads down” worker”).

If this sounds like you, recognize that most people are way too busy to notice all the ways you add value - even if they want to. I’m guessing that your boss has several direct reports, her own boss, and other key stakeholders who demand her time and attention. On top of that, she has her own goals to meet and distractions to manage. How much time does that really leave her to focus on you?

So, it’s up to YOU to make it happen – to take the initiative to give visibility to your work, to get recognized for your contributions and open up new possibilities for yourself. Your good work alone won’t get you there - and unfortunately you can’t win at a game that you won’t even play. Start by making a decision to get in the game.

2. “I don’t want to come across as obnoxious or full of myself.”

No one likes to listen to someone whose head can barely fit in the door. Yes, we’ve all met at least one of those people in our lives! The good news is that those negative experiences can give us clues about what NOT to do. So, if you don’t want to come across as arrogant, think about how you DO want to show up. To get started, come up with three words to describe the type of impression you’d like to leave about yourself when you are telling others about your accomplishments. If you have already defined your personal brand, use that as context as well.

Remember that having clarity about the imprint you want to leave on others will help you develop strategies that work for you.

3. “I’m bad at it. I just don’t know how to do it.”

You’re not alone if you feel ill equipped to tastefully toot your own horn. If you feel this way, think about how you can share information about your results and accomplishments in a way that is relevant and helpful to others.

I’ll give you two examples to think about. First, consider that someone else in the company may be faced with a challenge similar to what you just successfully overcame. By taking the time to share what you did and how you did it, you can help them tremendously.

Second, keep in mind that your boss has to make decisions about your performance, pay, and development (to ensure that you can continue to contribute to the company’s goals). Providing information to her on a regular basis will allow her to make those decisions easily, and will serve you and the company well. Remember that she will be held accountable for your results.

Finally, to give you more clues about how to tastefully self- promote, look for others around you who do it well. Simply notice what they do and say. You may find that you can adapt some of their strategies to fit your own style.

By recognizing what’s holding you back from self-promoting, you can determine how to move forward. Start by defining an action step you will take this week. Also, if you haven’t read it, take a look at Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn.

Making It Easier for Others to Help in Your Job Search

Nobody really enjoys job hunting – especially in this economy. It may require some soul searching to figure out what you want to do next and working on your resume can be quite an undertaking. We all know that is just the beginning. The good news is that we’ve all been there, and are generally willing to help others going through the process. But I have realized that people often overlook a crucial part of the process - how to make it easy for those who have graciously agreed to help. I offer my perspective as someone who has helped others with their job search, recruited for large companies, and coached individuals through career transition. I openly admit that these four strategies are simple but they can make a big difference in your level of success. So, here we go.

1. Think through the process from start to finish

The goal is to make the process as positive and efficient as possible for the person helping you. So before you dive in, ask yourself:

• What information will they need to know in order to help? How will I give it to them?

• What do I want to talk to them about and ask for help with? Be as specific as possible!

• How much time am I really asking for, between the initial conversation and the time they’ll spend taking action afterwards? How realistic is that?

• How can I help them take action quickly after a call/meeting with them, before other priorities take over?

2. Keep your message clear

Clearly and concisely state the type of role you really want. That doesn’t mean you have to pinpoint it down to the exact position, but please be able to describe the elements most important to you. No one wants to spend 20 minutes trying to draw it out of you...really. Make it brief but informative, and practice out loud a few times. This seems so obvious but many people don’t realize how they waste precious time here that could be spent strategizing about potential jobs or contacts.

The other thing I see is people who don’t want to “limit their options” out of fear that they won’t find a job at all. So, they start talking more about the roles they would be willing to accept than the job they really want – especially if they think that ideal job may be hard to find. The end result is a diluted message and the person on the receiving end is wondering if they really do know what they want. So, figuring out how to help them just became harder.

3. Have concise, compelling written materials to support the process

Resumes don’t typically include all the information a person needs to refer you to the right people. So, consider creating a one-page personal marketing summary with your career objectives, a brief description of your qualifications and accomplishments, a description of the organization or culture that would be a good fit and a list of the companies and industries you are interested in. This will set the stage for the conversation.

After the conversation, forward a standard email message that the person can use to refer you to others. It should include the basics - who you are, what you’re looking for, and the appropriate attachments. This will make it easier for you to control the content AND for someone to quickly take action after your conversation with them.

4. Don’t just thank them. Ask them how you can help them.

Never leave a conversation like this without offering to help the other person. Just asking how you can help will leave a positive impression, and convey that you are more than willing to reciprocate.

We all recognize that job hunting can feel harder than having a full-time job, but it can ultimately lead you to a role you really want. So, the easier you can make it for others to help, the greater your likelihood of success.

Lessons on Leadership from Head Coach Jason Garrett

Last week, I had the privilege of facilitating a session with a group of leaders to teach them coaching skills. We kicked off our meeting with a surprise guest, Jason Garrett, the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. He spent 45-minutes telling us story after story about what he’s learned and how he views coaching and leadership. So, I want to share a few nuggets that serve as good reminders for all of us.

1. Remember that it all starts with you

As a former quarterback, Jason started by talking about the importance of the huddle, those 12 valuable seconds that you have to motivate your team members to execute to the best of their abilities. He emphasized that in that huddle, it all starts with you. He said, “You have to bring positive energy to the team, and remember that YOU BELONG there as a leader.” Jason recalled how intimidating it was earlier in his career to be a quarterback surrounded by veteran players with so much more experience. He said, “You have to recognize that you deserve to be there and need to show confidence – even when you don’t fully feel it.”

2. Be a life long learner

Jason had story after story about what he has learned from other coaches and business leaders throughout his life. He consistently carves out time to seek out people from all walks of life to understand what has led to their success, and identify what he can learn from them. He is like a sponge, soaking it all in from everyone in his life.

3. Clarify what’s expected

Jason emphasized that as a leader and coach, you have to make sure that everyone understands that the team comes first - their results and performance. So, you have to clarify what you expect from the team as a whole and each team member. But each team member also needs to articulate what they expect of you as a leader, and of each other.

Jason also firmly believes in the value of empowering his team to create standards for how they will function (vs. rules that they have to comply with). He picked up this practice from another coach. As Jason recalled the conversation with that coach years ago, he smiled about the simplicity and power of the standards their team developed at the time:

• Look each other in the eye and tell the truth

• Be on time

• No excuses

4. Make sure your players are invested

Finally, to make sure your players are invested, figure out what makes them tick and adapt your communication style and approach accordingly. Jason laughed as he said that he knew which players he had to yell at (although he wouldn’t recommend that approach for us), and which ones would retreat into their shells for days if he did that. One size just doesn’t fit all.

I want to end today’s article with a call to action. Take a look at the four items above, choose one that you want to focus on, and identify one small step that you can implement in the next week. Remember small steps can lead to big results.

Executive Coaching – What’s All the Fuss About?

Executive coaching – what is it exactly, and why should you care? In this world of customization, think of coaching as a development solution tailored just for you. Today you can get personalized M&Ms, custom- made athletic shoes, and computers built to your specifications. So why not work with an executive coach who can help you design a targeted approach to achieve what’s important to YOU – whether that’s going for that next promotion, being a more effective leader, or getting more of what you want from your career? More and more companies are using coaching for high potentials and executives to help boost individual performance and productivity. So, it’s no wonder that this industry is experiencing explosive growth. Coaching may sound intriguing, but are you a good candidate for coaching? Well, here are a few questions to consider. Are you motivated to improve now? Do you have some idea of what you want to accomplish through coaching (e.g., building skills, working through a tough business situation, positioning yourself for the next level)? Are you willing to be honest and open about your strengths and development areas, and willing to hear feedback? Will you make time for coaching, and follow through on commitments? If you answered yes to many of these questions, coaching might be worth exploring.

Once you’ve determined that you are a good candidate for coaching, you need to choose a coach that “fits.” So how do you pick the right one? The AMA/Institute for Corporate Productivity Coaching Survey 2008 identified the five most common criteria by which coaches are selected:

• business experience (with 68% saying they use this criteria frequently or a great deal)

• recommendations from a trusted source (59%)

• interview with the prospective coach (54%)

• consulting experience (52%)

• validated client results (48%).

Interviewing a prospective coach to ensure that there’s a good match in terms of personality and expertise clearly has the strongest relationship to a successful coaching program. Although professional standards for the industry are becoming more established, anyone can hang out a shingle today and claim that they are a coach. So, be sure to ask about experience, formal training, and certifications.

So, what’s the bottom line? Partnering with an executive coach could be a powerful combination. Just remember that hiring a good coach isn’t enough. The other part of the equation is YOU – what you want to get out of it and how much you’re willing to put into it.

How Much Courage Do You Have?

I love what I do and am so excited that I launched my business three years ago - even though I did it right as the economy started to tank. Every day, I get to work with high performing men and women who have the courage to pursue what matters to them and strive for more. They are going places and making great things happen. So, today I want to share what I see them doing – specifically as it relates to courage – that makes a huge difference in their ability to achieve results. It boils down to three things.

1. They take a hard look at themselves

Taking a hard look at yourself requires investing time and energy to get clearer about your passion, priorities, strengths, and development areas. As part of my coaching process, I usually conduct 360-interviews where I solicit feedback from my clients’ direct reports, peers, and leaders. Talk about a gold mine of valuable information...if you can see it that way.

I have to say that it takes courage to “put yourself out there” like that, especially when the feedback isn’t what you want to hear or you disagree with it. But we all have choices - to take the feedback or leave it, to use the information to grow or not. I find that strong leaders usually have the courage to say, “Ok, the feedback is what it is. What do I need to do about it?”

2. They recognize what they should do more or less of

If you’re like most people, you may do some things really well and you may unknowingly get in the way of your own success at times. That’s where feedback from others can really help. Whether or not you are willing to ask others for their input, take the time to ask yourself, “What should I do more or less of to be more effective in my role?”

Identify 2-3 small steps you can take NOW and think through what makes these actions or changes so important (i.e., What will the impact be? On you? Others?). By taking time to think about the “so what,” it will increase your commitment to implementing them.

3. They consistently take action

The leaders I work with achieve amazing results because they are willing to hold the mirror up to themselves, ask for honest feedback, identify the steps they need to take, and take action time and again.

When my clients say they couldn’t have done it without me, I find myself pointing out that our coaching sessions could have merely been a series of conversations. What made it more was their willingness to take risks and try something new. And when things didn’t play out exactly as they hoped, they made adjustments and tried again. Their commitment to consistently take action, to the point that they formed new habits, is what will help them continue to achieve results well after our coaching is over.

So, I want to leave you with a call to action. This week, ask one to two trusted friends or colleagues what you should do more or less of to be more effective in your role. Before you ask them, think about how you want to “show up” in the conversation. Keep in mind that how you respond to their feedback will impact whether they will ever give it to you again!

What is Really Driving Your Success?

The Newberry Leadership System for High Performing Women helps leaders build critical skills to the point where they become second nature (i.e., to the point of unconscious competence) – to help them get results they couldn’t before. So, today I want to share one simple technique I use in this System to accelerate this process. No matter what your gender, this can help you clarify specific behaviors and skills that drive your success.

1. Notice your results

This may sound basic but I cannot tell you how many of my high performing clients just don’t notice their accomplishments. They often move from one thing to the next with little to no acknowledgement or celebration in between.

Let me give you an example. One of my new clients recently received a prestigious award that truly distinguishes her from other executives. In my first meeting with her, she shared how she just couldn’t understand why she got the award and felt very uncomfortable with the recognition. It wasn’t until a close friend rattled off the evidence (a LONG list of her successes and contributions) to her that she realized how much she had really done to deserve it.

So, if this sounds even remotely familiar, you too may have to force yourself to notice. You can do this by taking 5-10 minutes a week to make a list of what you accomplished that week and the “so what.” For some of you, it may take having an external mechanism to force you to track your accomplishments. For example, another one of my clients begins each of her staff meetings by asking each person to share an individual or team success. This practice also forces her to think about what she has accomplished because she has to share it with her staff. These are just two ideas to stimulate some thought. You need to develop an approach that will work for you.

2. Identify the 2-3 key practices you used to achieve those results

For each of your more notable accomplishments, think about what made the biggest difference in achieving them. I went through this exercise with a client last week. She lit up as she realized how much she has consciously focused on adapting her communication style and approach with each of her team members based on what she knows about them (e.g., what motivates them, what they care about, their goals, etc.). As a result, she has seen big shifts in how her team engages with her and how they view her as a leader.

With senior management, she has worked hard to consistently provide “strategic snapshots” of her performance (see my article on this topic if you missed it), and they view her as a much stronger leader today than they did a few months ago.

By talking through what helped her achieve the results, my client got much clearer about what she needed to keep doing. She also realized that she was more purposefully using strengths she already had and implementing some new practices.

3. Maintain consistent focus on your successful practices

Once you realize what works for you, you need to keep doing it. Remember that he ultimate goal is to consistently achieve strong results over time. So, your skills or practices need to become habits (i.e., reach a level of unconscious competence). But before this occurs, you may need some targeted strategies to keep your practices front and center.

For example, one of my clients blocks 30 minutes each week to review her upcoming meetings and identify at least one specific outcome or goal for each of them. This forces her to notice opportunities to implement the practices that work for her and be more intentional. This small change has helped her get results much faster because she is making the most of each opportunity in front of her.

Finally, in this step, keep in mind that you may need to adapt your practices for the specific situation at hand. When you recognize what’s at the heart of your practice, that’s much easier to do.

Let me leave you with one last thought. I see high performers achieve great results time and again, but the ones who have the most success over time realize what led to their success. Remember that it doesn’t take a huge investment of your time to go through the three steps above. So, get started today. You may be surprised at what you learn about yourself.

Do You See the Choices In Front of You?

In my role as an executive coach, I have the privilege of working with my high performing clients on so many different challenges and opportunities. It’s one of the things I really love about what I do. In particular, I really get excited when I can help my client see an open door or window that helps them move forward. Helping them get to that “aha” moment is priceless. So, today’s article is inspired by one of those important “aha” moments. In my coaching sessions, I often see my clients failing to see the choices right in front of them or failing to see the indirect choices they are making day-to-day. And both significantly influence their level of success.

To explain what I mean, let me share an example. I recently worked with a senior executive whose board suggested he work with a coach. To give you some context, he is an incredibly talented individual who dramatically turned around the financial performance of his company within a short timeframe. Given his unprecedented business results, he questioned the value of working with a coach. But his board felt he needed to adjust his working style despite his results.

The first time we talked, I remember wondering if he would see the choice and the opportunity in this situation. I could tell he was frustrated and going through the motions because he had to “check the box” for the board. And I think it may have been a bit of a blow to his ego – like there was something that needed to be “fixed.” So, I asked, “Whether or not you agree with the board, how can you turn this into an opportunity?”

I wanted him to understand that he had a choice sitting in front of him, to fully take advantage of the resources in front of him or not. His frustration had kept him from even seeing this as a choice or opportunity. I have to say that he is one of the most fun clients I have ever worked with. Once he viewed this situation less as a risk and more as an opportunity, he was so willing to take a hard look at himself and take action.

Let me give you another example. I have another client who has been very successful in her career, getting promotions at an unprecedented pace in her company. However, like most, she hit the natural place in her career where her pace of progression slowed down because there were skills she needed to further develop to take it to the next level. However, she was so focused on getting that next promotion that she didn’t see the opportunity or choices in front of her...and she was frustrated.

Take a look at the questions I asked her, and her responses. These may help you the next time you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, and don’t think you really have a choice.

1. How do you see the situation? What are your underlying assumptions?

“This situation is unfair. I deserve a promotion and I’m ready for it.”

“I have all the right skills, but this is a tough environment and I just don’t have the right team.”

2. What is outside your control?

“Although I can influence their perceptions, I can’t change who makes the decision about my promotion. Several team members do not have the level of commitment or work ethic that I think is necessary, but my boss disagrees with me. So, I have to make it work with this team.”

3. What is within your control?

“My own attitude, thoughts, actions, and performance.”

4. If you can assume for a moment that you are in this situation for a reason, what choice can you make right now that will help you make the most of this situation?

“Although I disagree about whether or not I am ready for a promotion, putting that aside will help me focus more on what I can control. At the end of the day, that’s all I can do.”

I have to say that this client has achieved, and continues to achieve amazing results. Her leadership team views her so differently today, and her next move within the organization is in the works.

So, I want to leave you with this. Just remember that we all have choices in front of us – even in the most difficult, frustrating, or demanding situations. The question is, “Do you see them?”

Can Coaching Really Make a Difference?

Are you intrigued by the thought of working with a coach, but skeptical about whether it can really make a difference? I know I was the first time I had an executive coach. At the time, I worked at Deloitte, one of the largest professional services firms in the world. The organization was in flux (so politics were running high) and my new leadership role was stretching me in ways I hadn't anticipated. Recognizing this, my firm invested in my success by offering me an executive coach. Although I wasn't sure what to expect, I jumped at the chance. I can tell you that I have participated in many training classes and leadership development programs over the years (and even designed some myself), but none could have taken the place of a coach - an objective third party with an approach tailored to my needs and goals.

Consistent with what my clients tell me, one of the most valuable aspects of the coaching was having dedicated time to reflect and to be much more strategic about my choices and business results. Like many professionals who work with coaches, deep down I already knew what I needed to do to achieve my goals. It was just taking me longer to see it, because I was getting caught up in the whirlwind and stress of each day. So, I remember being really surprised by how even as little as 30-45 minutes of coaching twice a month helped me get clarity and accelerated my results.

Another key piece was selecting the right coach, someone who I could really open up to and trust. After defining my criteria, I reviewed three bios and talked to two coaches before deciding. I chose my coach not only for her coaching credentials and business experience but also because of the personality fit - which is SO IMPORTANT. Our coaching relationship truly was a partnership, where she brought the coaching expertise and process and I brought the expertise about me, my situation, and goals. Together we turned that into insight, action, and results over a six-month period. Had she just told me what to do, rather than help ME discover my own answers through thought-provoking questions, I would have lost most of the value of the coaching.

Finally, the most important ingredient was my own commitment - to defining clear goals for the coaching, making time for coaching, being open to different perspectives, and turning the insight I gained with the help of my coach into action. Without that, IT JUST WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED.

So, I can honestly say that coaching made a huge difference in my career by helping me see my blind spots, make change more quickly and take my performance to the next level. It ultimately helped set the stage for my next leadership role.

I have no doubt that coaching can do the same for you if you set it up for success - by selecting the right coach, setting concrete goals for the coaching, co-designing a partnership between you and your coach, and committing to making the most of the coaching process.

Get the Results You Want

It's that time again when we ask ourselves, "What do I want to accomplish this year?" Some of us write New Year's resolutions, many which never come to fruition. We may start out with a lot of energy and excitement, but don't recognize how we set ourselves up for failure. Read on for tips to help you get better results this year - in how you write goals and your approach to achieving them.

1. Unbundle and be specific

Let me take an example of Judy who sets a goal to get 20 new clients this year. We all know that she won't find all of these clients immediately and it may take a while to meet her goal. So, first she needs to unbundle her large goal into its component parts. For example, revising her goal to get 5 new clients by the end of each quarter will still allow Judy to meet her overall goal but breaks her goal into manageable pieces. She will also know when she's achieved her goal because it is measurable and time-bound with specific interim milestones.

2. Identify what makes it so important

Judy should also think about what makes this goal so important to her. Perhaps, it's about feeling good about herself, making more money, or getting promoted. Whatever it is, reminding herself of the underlying reason will motivate her - especially when she feels stuck. Often, having a visual reminder (e.g., a note in a visible place, a screensaver) or someone who periodically reminds Judy of the importance of her goal can be very powerful.

3. Think about what it will really take

Is Judy's goal realistic and attainable for her? What will it really take to meet her goal and what obstacles might get in her way? For example, does she need support from someone who is more skilled in developing new business? How should Judy prioritize her time and leverage her team so she can focus more on sales? Does she have the budget she needs? Answering these questions as she's formulating her goals and developing supporting strategies will help Judy be more successful.

4. Assess and Adjust

Periodically, Judy should assess what's working and what's not and make adjustments to her approach. For example, if she's not spending enough time on developing new business, what's getting in her way? What does she need to change about her strategy? She should schedule checkpoints often enough that she can make adjustments before it is too late to meet her goal.

So, I challenge you to try these tips in 2010. I have no doubt that you will get better results. Who knows, maybe this will be the first year you follow through on your resolutions!

Is the Economy Taking a Toll on Your Career Plans?

The economy is taking a toll on finances, but does it have to take a toll on your job satisfaction? I have talked to so many people who want to make a change in their careers or jobs or switch companies, but are "staying put" until the economy improves. It's reasonable to expect that a major economic downturn would make anyone think twice about their timing; even more so if they are telling themselves:

"I just have to stick it out. I should feel lucky to have a job." "It's too risky to make a change right now." "I'd be crazy to do something now. After all, I am still getting a decent paycheck."

In this situation, there are two very important elements at odds with each other: the need for financial security and the need for more job satisfaction or fulfillment. This might lead someone to feel like they are trapped in a no-win situation. If you are in this predicament, here are three steps to help you work through it:

1. Assess your mindset

Are you starting each day with dread or some other draining negative feeling? If so, how could you start it in a way that would give you a more positive mindset? What energizing activities could you incorporate into your day whether it's exercising, having lunch with someone whose company you enjoy, or something else that's worked well for you in the past? Just remember that these don't have to be time consuming activities (e.g., reading something funny or inspirational), but they should energize you and make you feel more positive.

2. Focus on what you CAN do

Although there are many things beyond our control, we often overlook what we can do to improve our own situations. Start by identifying one or two things that would make working in your current role or company more satisfying. For example, you could volunteer for a project in an area you find exciting. These don't have to be huge changes, but should be changes in a direction that is important to you. What would it take to make those things happen? If you are not sure where to start, find someone who could help you brainstorm. Focusing on these things will make you feel more positive and empowered.

3. Take steps towards what you really want to do

Identify steps you can take right now that will make it easier for you to make a transition when you are ready to make a change. They don't have to be big or risky steps, but they do need to help you make progress towards what you really want. For example, you might focus on increasing your visibility internally in the company, networking with people who work in areas in which you have an interest, or saving more money.

We all know that the need for safety and security are essential, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of being miserable day-to-day. Small steps combined with even a small shift in your mindset can make a big difference.

Can Others Really Read Your Mind?

When you are a high performer and working in a fast-paced environment, it's easy to fall into the trap of "moving too fast." Because you have already thought through the issue at hand and the best way to address it, you might inadvertently leave out some important information in your communication - because YOU KNOW what you mean and how you got there. But the person on the receiving end may need clarification about your conclusion, assumptions and supporting data. They can't read your mind. Let me give you a really simple example. The other day I coached someone through her frustration about her relationship with her board. She couldn't understand why her board wouldn't step up to help her with fundraising. Her board chair explained what he needed from her to give her more support, and she responded by saying she needed something else. So, her board chair left with the distinct impression that she disagreed with his request, when in fact she agreed with most of what he asked for. However, she never said she agreed with him. Instead, she skipped over that important statement because she knew what she was thinking - and quickly moved on to her own ideas.

Had she said, "I agree and to build on that, I also think we need....," it would have shifted the entire interaction. This broken pattern of communication had been playing out between the two of them time and again, leaving both of them frustrated.

I am also working with another talented leader whose good intentions are often misunderstood. His team observes his actions, and draws their own conclusions about what they think his actions demonstrate. When I interviewed his direct reports to get feedback about his effectiveness as a leader, the gap between what he intends and what they take away from his actions became crystal clear.

So, what should you do to remove mind-reading from the equation? Here are three tips to get you started:

1. Remember that each person has their own filter

People typically filter through information and draw conclusions based on their life experiences and their relationship with you. So, take time to think about the other person's perspective and they might interpret your actions, especially if they have a strong opinion about you. Often, people are evaluating each of your actions against their hypotheses or conclusions - to validate what they believe.

2. Notice people's reactions

Notice how your actions and words are "landing" on others. Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, energy level, and other reactions. What did they say in response? Really listen, instead of focusing on how you will respond. You may start to notice patterns and clues about how they interpreted your actions.

3. Be more transparent

Think about the one or two things you want others to know, to put your specific action, decision or behavior in the right context. Be careful not to get into too much detail, so they can hear your key messages or headlines. Remember that just because YOU KNOW what you are talking about and what you mean, it doesn't mean that others will!!

By making slight tweaks to make your thoughts and intentions more transparent, you can vastly improve communications and relationships...and we can all get out of the business of mind-reading.

Making the Most of Transition

Over the years, I have worked with many individuals and organizations to help them transition through major changes - even more so in this economic climate. So, whether you're personally dealing with change or leading your organization through change, this article has tips to help you work through it more effectively. William Bridges, author of bestseller Managing Transitions - Making the Most of Change, has a simple but powerful way of framing change and understanding what it really takes to make transition happen. He distinguishes change from transition, explaining that change is situational and external (e.g., getting a new boss, role, etc.) while transition is internal and refers to "the psychological process that people go through to come to terms with their new situation."

So, why does this distinction really matter? Most of the time, when we talk about change, we focus on the ultimate outcome or result of the change (e.g., 20% cost reduction). Bridges argues that what enables the outcome is transition. Take a look at the overview of his three-step model below to understand how to put this concept into play:

Step 1: Recognize that transition starts with an ending

Every transition starts with an ending, so the first step is to really understand what you have to let go of as a result of the change. In other words, what is "the ending you will have to make to leave the old situation behind?" For example, even something positive like a promotion may mean leaving behind a peer group, a strong sense of security about your ability to do your job, or a work schedule you really enjoyed.

The same concept applies for organizational change. Use the following questions to help you identify who's losing what:

• What is actually going to change? Be really specific.

• What may be the ripple effects of the change?

• Who will have to let go of something as a result of these changes?

• What is ending for everyone?

Step 2: Understand the neutral zone

The second step is to understand the neutral zone, "the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new." Bridges explains that the neutral zone can be a place where we see tremendous creativity, innovation and revitalization. However, it can also feel confusing, discouraging or chaotic - making people want to escape it entirely. This is why we often see an increase in turnover in major organizational changes. The key is to recognize that the neutral zone has its place and is where old habits start getting replaced with new ones, setting the stage for a new beginning.

Step 3: Make a new beginning

The last step is to make a new beginning. New beginnings are what most companies emphasize when they make changes, often failing to recognize the existence and importance of the two steps above.

So, if you take away just one thing from this article, remember that every transition starts with an ending. Recognizing this will go a long way in helping you navigate through your own transitions and leading others through theirs.

Looking from the Outside In

I remember the first time I worked with an executive coach when I was a Director at Deloitte. It was truly eye-opening. People who know me well know that I'm a self-help book junkie and my own worst critic. However, when you're in the thick of the day-to- day pressures and demands there are some things that you just can't "see" on your own. It usually has nothing to do with your intelligence, but has more to do with whether you can find ways to "look at the situation from the outside in." Let me give you an example of a recent client, Suzy, a leader frustrated about an employee's subpar performance. She was convinced he had potential and was trying to figure out how to help him improve. I asked Suzy to explain in detail how she was working with this particular person. As we got deeper into the conversation, she shared that she was giving him recommendations, checking in with him daily, and personally investing a lot of her time. Nonetheless, she saw no notable change in his performance.

I asked whether she thought he had the intellectual horsepower and capacity to do the job, and Suzy immediately said, "Yes." Hearing this, I realized that Suzy may have some blind spots about the situation. So, I asked her a series of questions to help her "look at the situation from the outside in." These questions might come in handy the next time you find yourself in a perplexing situation:

1. What is your underlying intent in this situation?

"I want to keep this employee in the company. His technical skills and knowledge are valuable and hard to replace, and he has potential. I want to help him in any way that I can."

2. What is at stake?

"I'm relatively new in my role. If this fails, I will be viewed as a failure. It will take forever to find a good replacement. I have to make this work."

3. What messages are you sending through your words and actions, regardless of your intent?

Words - "I am willing to invest my time to help you improve. I am concerned about your performance but think you have potential. I want to keep you in this company."

Actions - "Daily meetings with him and sometimes his team, offering numerous recommendations, dedicating hours of my time to him each week despite other priorities."

Messages Conveyed by these Actions - "I don't trust you, so I need to look over your shoulder every day. I don't think you can do the job, so I'm going to do it for you. My way is the best way, so this is how you should do it."

4. If roles were reversed, how would you feel in this situation?

"Incompetent, embarrassed, like I'm about to be fired and should be looking for another job."

By answering these questions, Suzy realized the pressure she felt and how she was sabotaging her own efforts to improve her employee's performance. So, we took her insight and came up with a different approach - one that engaged her employee in the solution without micromanaging him. I'm pleased to say that she is finally seeing that potential turn into performance.

So, keep these four questions handy and find someone to help you objectively look at your situation "from the outside in."

Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman

I just read Play Like A Man, Win Like a Woman by Gail Evans, a senior executive at CNN. Because I specialize in working with high achieving women, the challenges she highlighted were all too familiar. I thought I'd share four pieces of advice that may be a valuable reminder to both men and women.

1. Ask for What You Want

Time and again, I coach women who are reluctant to ask for the raise, promotion, or assignment that they want. I recently interviewed a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company who remembers to this day how she got passed over for a promotion because her boss had no idea of her interest in the position (or the extent of her qualifications). Sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that the boss already knows, or we might simply be afraid of rejection. After her painful lesson, she made sure that key stakeholders understood her capabilities and career goals. A few months later, a similar position opened up and she got the promotion. When you really want something, don't hint. Ask for what you want.

2. Toot Your Own Horn

I give presentations on this topic all the time, and I know that many women fall into the trap of thinking that their good work will speak for itself. Well, I'm here to tell you that in this 24/7 world, most people are just too busy to notice all the ways that you are contributing. So, it's important to proactively provide snapshots of your performance, in a way that works for you. Women often wrestle with how to tastefully self-promote (i.e., without seeming like they are bragging). One simple idea is to send your boss a concise email every week to let him/her know about your progress on an important project or what your team is doing. When you think about self-promotion as sharing important information, it's much easier to do it.

3. Sit at the Table

Imagine if you were in a situation where your boss has called a meeting, and there are fewer chairs at the table than the number of participants. However, there are other chairs along the wall. Would you take a seat at the table or would you offer it to someone else? The author, Gail Evans, asserts that women often sit in one of the peripheral chairs because they think "the table is for the boss, key people or those who would be disgruntled sitting anywhere else." Remember that if you want to be considered a key player, take a seat at the table.

4. Speak Out

Have you ever been in a meeting that you're well prepared for, but you just don't speak up because there's something you lack information about? Meanwhile, the man sitting next to you confidently shares his ideas and perspective although he doesn't have all the facts. Just remember that if you don't talk, no one will know that you're really there. So, before each meeting take a few minutes to think about what you will say, even if it's asking a thought-provoking question.

I'll leave you with the final thought from this book: remember to be yourself. Women can build genuine, lasting relationships by allowing the natural, nurturing side of themselves to be available. This can be a real advantage in the workplace.

Are You Doing the Right Work?

Time is a precious resource that we just can't get back, so use it wisely. Time management strategies can help, but yield minimal results if you aren't focusing on the "right work" - areas where you can have the biggest impact on the business.  Here are three simple steps to help you focus your efforts:  

Step 1: Determine your "Big 3" - the three critical areas where you can make the biggest business impact this year

As you define your Big 3, also think about what your boss would say should be your Big 3. If your boss hasn't clearly stated what is most critical, there are usually clues in his/her actions or behavior. If you're unsure, take the mystery out of the equation and get clarity through a conversation. A common definition of the "right work" will ultimately shape how you and your boss define and measure YOUR success.  

Step 2: Understand the gap in how you spend your time

After you've identified your Big 3, draw a pie chart. Determine how many work hours your pie represents over a one-week period (e.g., 40 hours, 50 hours, etc.). Then, carve your pie into slices that represent major areas of your work (e.g., getting new clients, developing your team, etc.), with the size of each slice indicating the percentage of hours you SHOULD spend on that area each week. For example, if you should spend 50% of your time on getting new clients, that slice would be half of the pie. Be sure to include your Big 3 as separate slices in this pie.   Then, compare this pie chart to one that shows how you ACTUALLY spend your time.  You can do this by tracking your time for a week, noting your activities in increments of 30 minutes, and then summarizing how much time you dedicated to the Big 3. If it's easier, review your calendar for a recent week that represents how you typically spend your time.   It's up to you how specific you want to get, but the ultimate goal is to recognize the gap between what you should be doing and what you are doing.  

Step 3: Develop strategies to redirect

If you reach the conclusion that you need to shift your focus, figure out what's getting in the way today. Is it perfectionism, too many distractions, or just that you weren't clear on the Big 3? Whatever it is, determine 1-2 strategies you can start implementing tomorrow to help redirect you. Often starting small with just a couple of strategies can start building the momentum you need to achieve big change.   Just remember that when you say "yes" to too much time on less critical areas, you are saying "no" to the "right work" - and your potential impact on the business!!