Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

As we talk this month about resilience, I want to share a resource to help you build your ability to bounce back.  These "Thinking Traps" were identified by the Hay Group, a global management consulting firm.   If we recognize when we fall into these traps, we can start to see new ways to move past a setback or challenge.   Take a look at this list. Which Thinking Traps have you experienced?  

Personalizing

When you personalize, you assume that a negative event — say, a meeting that went off the rails — is entirely your responsibility.   While you should always assess what went well and what you would do differently next time, routinely taking on all the blame may undermine your confidence and make you overlook the true root of the problem. Instead, try asking someone you trust to help you see the full picture of what happened and what action to take now.  

Externalizing

The other extreme, externalizing, means that you take no responsibility for a problem. If you externalize, you would blame the off-the-rails meeting on everyone else while overlooking how you contributed.   Passing the buck in this way can keep you from learning and growing and could block your success in the long run. Make it a practice to simply notice how others react, verbally and nonverbally, to what you say and do.  

Magnifying and Minimizing

Do you ever exaggerate the negative aspects of an event and ignore or downplay the positives? In our meeting example, perhaps you're overlooking that it was smooth and productive until the last few minutes.   As high performers, we have rigorous personal standards, but overemphasizing failure over success will limit your ability to put your strengths more powerfully into play. Take time to learn from your successes so you can repeat them. And you can't do that unless you first acknowledge them.  

Overgeneralizing

This means forming broad judgments about yourself or others without evidence. If, after one rough meeting, you declare that you're terrible at presenting, you're overgeneralizing.   By simply asking yourself what went well and what you should have done differently, you will begin to form a more accurate picture of your performance. This is another situation where it could help to get an outside viewpoint on how you're really doing.  

Mind Reading

When you fall into this trap, you assume that you know what someone else is thinking. You can psych yourself out when you believe the worst.   If you're prone to mind reading, make it a practice to ask more questions to confirm and clarify. You might be surprised at what you learn.  

Emotional Reasoning

This means assuming that your emotions are accurate indicators about the nature of the event, without looking for other evidence. Perhaps you're so upset about what went wrong at the meeting that you don't see what went well.   Get more information and evidence to make a more rational assessment. It also always helps to breathe and step back from your emotions.  

Catastrophizing

We've probably all been guilty of exaggerating the negative impact of an event: "The meeting was terrible — now I definitely don’t have a shot at getting promoted."   In this situation, bring yourself back to the here and now and out of your worries about the future. Simply ask yourself, "What is the first step I need to take after this setback?"   This week, notice whether you're falling into any of these Thinking Traps. What is one small step you will take to shift your thinking and make yourself more resilient? You'll find more ideas on building your resilience and effectiveness on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. And remember, small steps lead to big results.

How to Discover Your Resilience

A client I've worked with about six months just got some great news: a promotion! I'm very proud of her, especially because she had just gone through an experience that had shaken her confidence. When a new role left her battling self-doubt, we worked together to get her "back to herself" so she could be a star performer again (and show this to others).  She's a great example of resilience, our blog theme this month. And the secret to her resilience was all in her mindset. She was willing to explore what had worked in the past to figure out what to do going forward. Together, we looked back at another time when she had been in a new situation and got up to speed quickly. This helped us discover strategies to use now.   If you need some insights on how to get through your own difficult situation, try working with the questions below. First, think of a challenge or setback you faced in the past and how you got through it. Then ask yourself:

• What was going on?

• What did you do in response?

• What worked?

• What mindset did you have? How you look at things makes the biggest difference in whether you're resilient. What were you thinking and feeling? (And how accurate were those thoughts and feelings?) How did you frame the situation?

• How did you engage others?

• What did you have to let go of? (For example, a process, a situation or a belief)

• What worked that surprised you?

• What skills did you use?

• What is one thing that you did then that could help you today?

My client found clues in her past that unlocked the resilience she needed today. This week, use these questions to gain insights from your past successes to help with a current challenge. For more ideas on finding your best success strategies, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. Even taking a few small steps can lead you big results.

Spilled Drinks and Defining Leadership Moments

We all make mistakes at work — sometimes they're even really big, embarrassing mistakes. But no matter what happened, what matters a whole lot more is what you do afterward. I gave some impromptu coaching on this subject at a surprising time: after a waiter had just spilled a tray full of drinks all over me.

I was out with family members at a restaurant close to home when the waiter fumbled, giving me a sudden shower of iced tea and soft drinks. The spill was such a jolt that I jumped up out of my seat. But what was really surprising was the waiter's reaction: Instead of helping me or apologizing, he started to clean the table. I couldn’t believe I had to ask for a towel as I stood there dripping.

Luckily my home is close enough to the restaurant that I could dash back, change clothes and return to salvage the meal. Back at our table, though, the mess from the spill wasn’t getting cleaned up, and the waiter was MIA. When I got back, I called the manager over to take our order.

At the end of our eventful lunch, over an hour later, our waiter finally reappeared with the check and an apology. He said was used to being a strong performer and nothing like this mishap had ever happened to him before. He was so shocked that he just didn’t know what to do.

I told him that I wasn't mad about the initial spill – because it wasn’t intentional – but what did trouble me was how he reacted afterward. The fact that he completely avoided a difficult situation told me that he wasn’t willing to take ownership. And was that really the message he intended to send? I encouraged him to not let one slip-up define him because he knows he’s better than that.

By the time we finished our conversation, he looked like a new person. As I stood in the parking lot with my family as we said our goodbyes, the manager ran out to tell me the waiter was beaming and thanked me for taking the time to coach him.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves in this waiter's shoes. We mess up; everyone knows; we wonder how we'll ever recover. These times can be defining moments in our leadership. Like the waiter, we can be remembered for the mistake or how we respond and recover — it's up to us. And remember, if you’re the person on the receiving end of the mistake, you can help the other person grow and learn from their mistake.

This week, take some time to think about your last big goof and how you recovered. What would you do differently next time? You'll find more ideas on defining yourself as a leader on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

4 Powerful Questions to Get You Moving Forward

Our blog topic this month is resilience. How you bounce back from challenges big and small is one of the keys to your success — not to mention your happiness. Sometimes finding the way forward takes some self-reflection. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated or tired of dealing with the same problems again and again, there might be solutions right in front of you that you just can’t see.

These four questions can help clear away your mental blocks so that you can move forward.

1. What’s your mindset? Start by looking at your attitude about your situation. What are you telling yourself? For example, it could be:

• “I don’t have the energy to deal with this.”

• “Why try harder? It won’t really make a difference.”

• “Things will never get better.”

Your mindset may be the very thing that's holding you back, because it affects your choices and how you engage with others. If you find that your self-talk is negative, what messages do you want to replace the current ones with so that you can make more progress?

2. What are you tolerating that you need to let go of? We all have things, large and small, that we tolerate in our lives. When you hold onto them for too long, they can significantly affect your progress. Take a look at the list below to see if any of these apply to you:

• Being disorganized, resulting in unproductive time

• Failing to plan ahead, allowing lower priority work to take over

• Doing work that others should be doing because of a failure to hold others accountable or delegate

What one small change can you make to free up some energy, and create capacity to find a solution?

3. What choices are you making that are keeping you where you are? Things typically don’t just happen to us. Outcomes are usually the result of a series or choices that we and others have made along the way. When we make some choices over and over again, they form patterns that may not serve us well.

So, if you’re frustrated by what’s going on around you, ask yourself how you are enabling that situation to continue. The following questions may provoke some ideas:

• Do you keep trying the same approach, but expect a different result?

• Are you putting off a difficult conversation?

• Have your engaged others in solving the problem with you (e.g., escalated the issue that needs to be addressed)?

As you consider the questions above, what do you notice about your own behavior?

4. Are you burnt out? Finally, your physical health could be a surprising factor that's keeping you from making progress. Are you getting enough sleep? What does your diet look like? Feeling physically drained can lead you to make more emotional rather than rational decisions. Even getting 15 minutes more of sleep, making sure you don’t skip a meal, or taking five-minute breaks throughout the day can make a big difference.

If you are having difficulty answering any of these questions, ask someone to think through them with you. Choose someone who will be candid with you. Remember that small changes lead to big results. For more practical ideas and resources, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

Increase Your Influence in One Conversation

We’re sharing ideas this month to help you be the kind of leader you want to be. This week, I want to tell you about a strategy that can make all the difference in managing a work relationship. I spent a large part of my career in various leadership roles at Deloitte. Every time I started a new project with a team, I would have a conversation with each person at the outset. Our discussion topics ranged from goals to strengths to communication styles.

First, we would talk about that person’s goals for the year and for her career as a whole.

• What skills and exposure do you want?

• Who do you want to work with and why?

• What are your specific goals for the current project?

• What would make you feel that the project was a great experience?

Next, I asked questions to get a handle on her strengths and preferences:

• In the context of the work we’re about to do, what should I know about what you’re really good at and any relevant past experiences? (This reveals critical information that otherwise might not surface as quickly and can be a good team exercise.)

• What is the best way to communicate with you (face-to-face or email)?

• If I need something from you quickly, what’s the best way to approach it?

As I learned more about each team member, I also shared what worked for me and my preferences as a leader.

From there, we set some agreements on working together. I let the team member know what I could offer through the current project that fit her goals. We could decide on a communication approach that worked for us both and on how we would gauge our progress along the way.

This conversation was a great way to set the stage for an open and effective working relationship. It allowed us to become more proactive about creating the right opportunities, and the team member understood that I was coming from a place of genuine interest in her goals and development.

Whether you’re working with a new team or an existing one, it’s never too late to ask some of these questions. This week, I challenge you to identify one conversation you’d like to have, or one question you would like to ask from the list above. You can find more ideas like this one in the chapter “Strategies to Create a High-Performing Team” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember, small steps can lead to big results

Do You Fall Into These Leadership Traps?

This month, we’re talking about what kind of leader you want to be. As an executive coach, I’ve helped many leaders identify and address their personal stumbling blocks so that they can reach their full potential. Take a look at this list of some of the most common leadership traps. Which ones strike a chord with you?

The trap: You get bogged down in the small stuff. You often get distracted from the work that’s going to make the most difference. The fix: Identify the top three areas that reflect where you can have the biggest impact on the business and make the highest and best use of your skills. This is where you should focus your energy.

The trap: You don’t connect the dots, so colleagues may misinterpret the meaning behind your actions. The fix: First, get clear about the top three things that guide your leadership. Then use it to frame up what you say and do. In other words, regularly give others insight on what you think is important, how you measure success and the results you are trying to achieve.

The trap: You aren’t communicating the bigger picture. Are you telling people what you want to do but leaving out the “why”? The fix: Connect what you are proposing to how it relates to what’s right for the business or team.

The trap: Emotions get the better of you. You have trouble managing your moods and reactions. Your tone and body language convey stress or frustration. The fix: Practice self-care to keep yourself centered, grounded and positive. Learn strategies to manage your emotions when your buttons get pushed.

The trap: You bring more negative energy than positive. The ability to spot and flag problems or risks is a strength, but you may be coming off as a naysayer. The fix: Frame your concerns more positively. There’s a big difference between “There’s a lot that could go wrong with this idea.” and “I really like Points A, B and C of this idea. And let’s also consider these other aspects…”

The trap: You don’t make the most of your team. You sense there’s untapped potential and a lack of engagement. The fix: Get to know the strengths and passions of your team members so that you can proactively assign them work that plays to them, and will get them excited.

The trap: You ignore office politics. Perhaps you’d prefer to remain above it all and let your work speak for itself, but what’s going on politically in your office affects your ability to get results. The fix:  Look at who has the resources, information and influence you need to get business results. How can you get those people in your corner?

The trap: You put networking on the backburner. I get it: You’re busy, and networking seems time-consuming or intimidating. But you need strong relationships to accomplish your goals and help your career grow. The fix: Make networking a habit. Even taking a few minutes each week to pass along an interesting article or make an introduction can strengthen your relationships.

Which of these traps do you fall into? This week, pick one of the areas that give you trouble and see what you can change. My book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens” has more resources you can use. Remember, you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Small steps can lead to big results.

Lead by Helping Others Grow

We're talking this month about what kind of leader you are. One of the leadership qualities that will help you succeed is the ability to develop others.  

Creating growth opportunities, though, can be easy to overlook in our rush to get things done. Take a look at the list below. Identify the strategies you already leverage well today and one or two that you would like to start doing to help others develop.

1. Ask people about their passions, interests and the type of opportunities they seek.

2. Give others opportunities to be the external face of the organization, such as with a professional association or community group.

3. Invite others to meetings that will give them exposure to senior leaders or raise their visibility.

4. Introduce people to others who can help them achieve their career goals.

5. Share a colleague’s accomplishments so that others can tap into their strengths, and to give them more visibility.

6. Give feedback in the moment on what your team members do well and suggestions about how to be even more effective.

7. Delegate work with a team member's professional development in mind.

8. Ask someone to deliver a presentation to share their knowledge and raise their profile.

9. Give an opportunity for a rotation or a special assignment (beyond a stretch project).

10. Give a team member an opportunity to provide peer mentoring.

What did you notice about how you're creating growth opportunities for others? I challenge you to put at least one of these ideas into play more powerfully this week. For more ideas on creating a high-performing team, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through A New Lens.

The Power of One

I just got back from an inspiring visit to Washington, D.C. and it left me realizing the Power of One – the difference one individual can make. As I stood at the US Capitol, I couldn’t help but think about the amazing men and women who laid the foundation for the freedom and rights we enjoy today.  Like the other community volunteers on this trip, I went to DC with United Way because I want to affect positive change and I believe in the impact one passionate individual can have. His or her passion can engage others, and quickly turn from individual to collective impact.

During this trip, we talked to legislators about partnering with them to address challenges around income, education and health in our community. As I think about the challenges I hear from the Tunisian women in the Bush Institute’s Fellowship Program who are working to catalyze change around the world, I realize how much access and influence each of us has in the US – if we choose to leverage it.

Although it’s still not an easy task to make big changes happen, we can make a difference one person at a time. By arming others with knowledge and tools they can pass on to others, and by helping them develop strong support networks, the Power of One quickly multiplies. In D.C., we did just that. We shared vital information and laid the foundation for collaborative relationships that will allow us to work together down the road to affect greater change.

So, I want to challenge you to think about how you currently use the Power of One in your own life. You don’t have to take a trip to D.C., or take on a big project or role to do this. Every day you have the opportunity to make a big difference through each and every individual you touch.

Whether or not you hold a formal leadership role, think about how much you advocate for the change and results you want to see. Notice how you:

• Show up, and how your energy affects those around you

• Use your passion to engage others in being part of a bigger vision

• Leverage your strengths and knowledge to build capability in others

• Help others build stronger support networks

As you consider these areas where you can demonstrate leadership, choose one to focus on and identify one small step will you take to put the Power of One into play this week. And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

The Power of Celebrating Successes

When was the last time you celebrated success — I mean, really celebrated? As high performers, we often go without a break from one project to the next, not pausing to look at what we learned or how far we and others have come.  

But taking time to notice and acknowledge is crucial. We're talking about lifting others up this month, and celebrating their successes is one of the key ways to do that.

The first step is getting in the practice of acknowledging your own successes and looking at what you did to make them happen. You can then expand that kind of thinking to your team. We're not talking about just taking "rah-rah" moments, but rather looking at the positive impact made by others and how they did it.

Here are five easy-to-implement strategies to get you started.

• Use regular debrief sessions. When a project or a meeting is complete, take a few minutes to talk about what went well. (Of course, you should also discuss what to do differently next time, but don't gloss over the positives in a rush to offer suggestions.)

• Ask people what they are the most proud of in how they accomplished something. You'll learn about what motivates them, which is important information to know as you work to lift others.

• Start meetings by asking people to share their successes or what's going well. This gives them permission to get excited about their victories, and it gives you more insight as a leader.

• Send handwritten notes to highlight something specific a team member did well, or make a point to give one-on-one praise outside of group debrief sessions. This reinforces what you value and want to see more of.

• Don't forget little symbolic gestures. A celebration of success doesn't have to be something formal or planned. Giving a funny memento of a project or taking the team out for an impromptu lunch or happy hour are meaningful ways to show appreciation,

Celebrating successes can help keep your team members engaged and give them insights on how they can repeat their successes. Whatever strategies you choose, take a few minutes to bring more celebration into your week. For more ideas on bringing out the best in yourself and others, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.

Get More Out of Your Meetings

This month, we've been talking about how to lift others up. We've already discussed helping them grow professionally and celebrating their successes. Another way you can bolster your team and your colleagues is by helping them work smarter and avoid practices that stand in the way of their best results. I'm willing to bet that most people would cite meetings as one of the things that hamper their productivity — and happiness — at work. But a few surprisingly simple tweaks can shift that.

• Request at least one expected outcome and objective when people ask to meet with you. Ask for these before you commit the time for the meeting. This will help you and the other person clarify what you want to get out of it and make better use of the time.

• For meetings that you lead, restructure your agenda so that the purpose of the topic is clear: to provide an update, get input, or make a decision. (See my gift to you below). If the agenda involves mostly updates, challenge the need for the meeting. Look for other more efficient ways to provide them. Reserve meetings for topics that require input and discussion.

• Set expectations about how far in advance you need meeting materials so that you can prepare and contribute to the meeting.

• Shorten your meetings. For example, reduce one-hour meetings to 45 minutes. This will give you time to process what happened in the meeting and follow up before your next one.

• Show up with intention and purpose. What would make this meeting worthwhile, and how can you make sure that occurs? By simply asking yourself this before you walk in, you will be more deliberate about how you use the time.

As our gift to you, we're offering a free, downloadable agenda template to focus your meetings by clarifying the purpose of each topic. It is simple, but effective. Give it a try this week and let me know how it worked for you. Find more tips for working smarter and having more impact in the "Getting the Right Work Done" module of the WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM and in the WOW! Highlight AudioSM.

What I Learned from a Sprained Ankle and Black Eye

It's been quite a spring! Nine weeks ago, I severely sprained my ankle. Then, five weeks into my recovery, just as I was transitioning from a boot to a brace with my ankle, I got a facial fracture and black eye playing baseball! At this point, I have six to nine months to go before my fracture fully heals and at least two more months to go on the ankle. For those of you who know me well, you know I am very physically active. And it’s not something I just do; it’s part of who I am. These injuries have taught me a lot about myself as I have been, and continue to be, stretched in new ways. As we explore our May theme of lifting up others, I want to share what I have learned on this subject from my journey.

Mindfulness as a Way to Build Resilience

First and foremost, I have been forced to be more mindful about everything as I have had to pay attention to the details of daily life in a way that I haven’t before. With a sprained ankle, things that I mastered long ago (like walking) became difficult and simple decisions more complex. What clothes would work with a big boot on my leg? Which shoe would fit with an ankle brace? How could I relieve stress without my regular runs? This experience has caused me to notice the simple pleasures in life, feel more gratitude for them, and to be much more intentional about helping others notice the positive aspects of their lives.

Beyond physical considerations, I am much more mindful about the energy I bring to a conversation. The more people ask about my injuries and feel sorry for me, the more my optimism kicks in. So, even though I have my ups and downs, I know this is a minor physical setback in the big picture, not a major disruption. I know that my energy, positive or negative, affects my resilience…and it is contagious. I fully recognize that others have far bigger challenges to deal with than I do, like life threatening diseases. So, I find myself being more deliberate about how I Show Up and the positive impact I want to have on others.

Staying in the Moment as a Strategy to Increase Patience

I know I still have more work to do before someone would say I am a patient person! I am usually ready to take the bull by the horns, so when it comes to limitations I focus primarily on how to get past them. In this case, I really can’t accelerate my healing process and I have a big hiking trip in the Grand Canyon coming up in 4 weeks. As I have wrestled with this, I realized that when can I focus on the “here and now”, I worry far less about what might or might not happen in the future. In other words, I noticed that the more I can stay in the moment, the more patience I have.This has helped me make the most of my current situation, and be more resourceful and creative as I do so. For example, without the ability to run, I found other ways to stay physically and mentally strong like lifting weights, cycling on a recumbent bike with one leg, and meditating more regularly.

Caring and Concern Works

Finally, the most surprising part of my experience was what I learned from how others reacted to my injuries. In the first few weeks, when I was wearing the boot, strangers and friends would immediately ask about the story behind my injury. But once I had a black eye to go with the ankle injury, people held back. It felt so odd when people acted like they didn’t see this blatantly obvious injury and, at first, I took it personally.

Then, I remembered how often someone’s behavior is more about them. In other words, people often want to avoid potentially awkward or difficult conversations. As I thought about this, I realized that when someone approaches a situation from a place of genuine care and concern, the questions feel more supportive than intrusive. Even saying something as simple as, “You look like you’re hurt. Are you okay?” can go a long way.

Although life isn’t quite back to normal, I'm thankful for the self-awareness and insight I have gained. So, I want to leave you with the following questions to help you get as sense of how you lift others up.

• How often do you help others see how the glass is half full versus half empty when they face adversity?

• What kind of energy do you usually give to others? Positive or negative?

• How often do you stay in the moment, increasing your patience and resourcefulness?

• How often do you defuse or get past potentially awkward or difficult situations by demonstrating genuine care and concern?

As you answer these questions, pick one area that you would like to focus on this week to lift others up. And remember small steps can lead to big results.

Learn from Your Own Advice

The advice you give can tell you a lot about yourself. I was thinking about this recently during an event at the George W. Bush Institute. I’ve written before about my passion for the institute’s Women’s Initiative Fellows Program, and I am honored to be faculty and a mentor for the current fellowship class. This class is made up of 18 women from Tunisia who are enhancing their leadership skills and working together to empower women to catalyze change.

Earlier this month, the women completed the first part of the yearlong program, a five-week stay in the U.S. During the closing event at the Bush center, they shared what they have learned through the fellowship.

One of the women said something that really resonated with me. She explained how she would use the letters ABCD to remember the most important advice she had received in the program

A is for “Add value.” Whatever you do, focus on creating value.

B is for “Be passionate.” You’ll be more creative and resourceful if you’re passionate about what you’re doing.

C is for “Connect.” Develop genuine, authentic relationships.

D is for “Do it.” Be willing to put yourself out there.

Our articles this month have focused on being bold about what makes you unique. The areas this Tunisian woman highlights reveal a lot to us about what makes her unique as leader.

My challenge to you this week is to think about what you would have said in her shoes. If you were asked to share your best advice on what drives success, how would you respond? Your answers will give you insight into what works for you and what makes you unique. I’ll be drawing inspiration from these Bush Institute fellows as they change the world, and I hope you will be, too.

Celebrate Your Success Story

Your shoes would be hard to fill. As we continue our April theme of being bold about what makes you unique, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on how you've succeeded so far. Even accomplished leaders sometimes take their distinctive skills and abilities for granted.

What themes do you see in your success story? Think about the kinds of work that you typically get asked to do. That's a good indicator of your strengths. What have you heard others say about why they value you work? What skills and perspectives do you have that would be hard to replace?

For inspiration, here are some stories of women with humble beginnings whose boldness took them to the top of their fields:

Marissa Mayer, CEO at Yahoo Long before her Silicon Valley days, Marissa Mayer worked as a grocery store clerk. But even then, she was known for fast results. To work in the express lane, she had to scan 40 items a minute.

Indra Nooyi, chairman and CEO at PepsiCo Showing early on that she could take on tough challenges, Indra Nooyi paid her own way through college. When she came to the U.S. to attend graduate school at Yale University, she took a job as a receptionist in her dorm. She worked the late-night shift — from midnight to 5 a.m.— because it paid 50 cents more per hour.

Tina Fey, writer/producer/actress Living in Chicago in the mid-'90s, Tina Fey worked as the child-care registrar at a YMCA before famed improv troupe Second City invited her to join. In 1997, she sent scripts to "Saturday Night Live" producer Lorne Michaels, who then hired her as a writer.

This week, I challenge you to look back on how far you've come in your career and identify the top two things that have helped you get where you are. From this, you'll see how you've been bold and all of the unique things you've already done. And, I hope, you'll be inspired to do more.

What is Your Unique Energy Pattern?

I was having a low energy day last week and wondered why. I was not ill, and nothing terrible or even unpleasant had happened. We’ve all had days like that. But it prompted me to think about energy patterns and how they affect our daily work lives.  

Our bodies change daily. Hormone levels, hours of sleep and our emotional and physical well-being all affect our energy levels. You can assess your unique energy pattern with this method developed by Joseph Michael Levry, a yoga and self-healing expert.

For one week, monitor your energy level every couple of hours. Keep a log of this information. At the end of the week, take a look at the data to see:

• What days were you the most energetic? And what hours during the day did you tend to have the most energy?

• What days did your energy dip, even if you hadn't done anything unusually strenuous? What times of day were the least energetic for you?

• When did you most feel like communicating and collaborating with others?

• When did you most feel like being alone and contemplative?

If you see patterns in your energy levels, think about what can you do with that information. Are you more energetic and social in the morning? Try to schedule your challenging meetings then. Does your energy slump midday? Be mindful of your actions in team settings.

You may even want to consider tracking your energy over several months. Many people who struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder are not aware of its impact on their work life.

Getting to know your own energy patterns is part of noticing how you show up in different situations. You can explore this topic further in the WOW! Highlight AudioSM, which contains strategies to give your productivity an energy boost and strategies from all six of the modules in the full WOW! Program SM.

How Well Do You Toot Your Own Horn?

In April, we’re celebrating how your uniqueness is the key to your success. And while we’re at it, we want to encourage you to “toot your own horn” more about those successes.  

We’ve talked before about how self-promotion isn’t selfish if you’re providing your boss and others valuable info about your work and why you can’t assume that your accomplishments will speak from themselves.

This week, look a little more closely at how you’re doing with self-promotion. Which of these profiles best describes you?

Active self-promoter. You regularly put yourself out there to share valuable information about your results and how you are getting them. You know the right people to connect with and you focus on staying visible to them. The challenge for you may be to do this without coming across as self-centered.

Selective self-promoter. You get that self-promotion is important, but you have difficulty doing it on a consistent basis. Like many others, your activities here may be more externally driven (i.e., by the timing of promotion and pay decisions, restructuring at your company, or other events that drive the need to communicate more about your performance).

Heads-down worker. Your mindset is “I just need to get my work done.” You value results and quality, and you believe that if you do a good job people will notice (see our previous blog on why that’s not necessarily so). You may quickly dismiss self-promotion as a “game” that you don’t want to play.

Praise deflector. Do you have a shield that redirects any compliments you receive (“Ellen was the one who really made the project work!”) or minimizes your accomplishment (“Meeting that deadline wasn’t really a big deal.”)? If so, be mindful of the messages you are indirectly sending to others about your performance.

Most people tend to fall in the middle two categories. Active self-promoters and praise deflectors are more rare. You may also find that you fall into a couple of categories. If so, pay attention to how you are showing up and with whom.

This week, take a few minutes to simply notice how often you take opportunities to share your accomplishment and results with others. Where would you like to be on the self-promotion scale above?

This article is adapted from our video “Assess How Well You Toot Your Own Horn Today.” You can find it and other videos from our “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn” series on the Learn page of our website.

Introverts Can Be Bold Too

With all the meetings, presentations and networking events, sometimes the business world can feel like the domain of extroverts. But introverts can be some of the most successful leaders. People often assume that introversion means being shy or antisocial in some way. Instead, it has to do with how you respond to stimulation.  It is not merely a preference; it operates at the level of the nervous system.

Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” opened a great discussion about the unique value of introverts, who, according to Cain, make up one-third to one-half of Americans.

As we talk this month about being bold, remember that an introvert’s quiet strength is its own form of boldness.  Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert (as I am), here’s some basic information you should understand.

Recognize the value you bring

Although introverts and extroverts are equally intelligent (as measured by their IQs), they have different problem-solving styles. Cain points out that introverts usually think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, and are less likely to give up.  This means greater accuracy and persistence in their work, which offers tremendous value to a team or organization.

Introverts can also be less reward-sensitive than extroverts. This means that they can focus on the end-goal and take time to process the valuable lessons they learn as they pursue the goal. In other words, they can downplay the reward to consider other important factors and compare the results against their expectations.

Extroverts, on the other hand, may not reflect long enough to glean these insights. As they face roadblocks, they often increase their pace in an effort to knock down roadblocks and reach the goal quickly. When forced to slow down, an extrovert will do just as well as an introvert.

Manage your energy

Although they like people, introverts recharge by spending time alone. After a day full of stimulating meetings designed to drive collaboration, introverts may feel depleted. Introverts should plan quiet time to keep their energy up, especially if they work in an open environment. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, remember that some activities will drain you while others will energize you. Recognize the difference and proactively plan your day to manage your energy.

As you think about your leadership, explore the work of Susan Cain to learn more about introversion and the value of the quieter side of leadership. And remember that every introvert and extrovert may not fit these descriptions.

Be Bold – Be Unique: The Power of Risks and Relationships - Deborah Gibbins, Chief Financial Officer, Mary Kay Inc.

We are going to look at how to make your mark by leveraging your unique strengths.

Deb Gibbins employs her skills by taking risks and building strong relationships. As the chief financial officer at Mary Kay Inc., Deb oversees the company's strategic planning and financial growth. Before joining Mary Kay in 2013, Deb held senior leadership roles within PepsiCo’s Frito-Lay North America division and Arthur Andersen LLP.  She serves on the board of directors for the United Way of Metropolitan Dallas.

In her professional life and her community roles, Deb is viewed as a connector.  She consistently looks for ways to build a bridge or initiate a relationship that would help people she meets.

I asked Deb to participate in the WBAP/KLIF Texas Women in Business series, sponsored by Newberry Executive Solutions. Her input was enlightening.

Q.  What has contributed to your successful career?

A. First, a willingness to embrace discomfort. I’ve accomplished far more by accepting messy assignments, the ones no one else wanted, than seeking the assignments that appeared to be a piece of cake.  I’ve learned so much by closing my eyes and jumping into a pool of problems and figuring out how to solve those problems, one by one.

Second, I approach most issues with a sense of humor and not taking myself too seriously. Lastly, I recognize that I have to lean on the support of my friends and family.  I think about my relationships as a bank account.  In order to make withdrawals from that relationship account, you have to take the time to make lots of deposits. I remind myself every day I benefit from people who were willing to sponsor and mentor me along the way.

Q. Tell us about a challenge you overcame in your career.

A. I find that most people struggle with knowing the right time to make a career change – a new assignment, a new function, a new company. Trading off the comforts of the known with the rewards of trying something new is always a challenge. When I am faced with a career change, I consult my trusted advisors – sponsors, mentors, friends and my husband — for their advice.  And then I make an old-fashioned list of pros and cons. I weigh the benefits with the risks and assess what I can do, if anything, to mitigate the risks. More often than not, I opt for the change, and once I do, I never look back. When you make a decision, embrace it and don’t lose sleep thinking about “what if.”

Q. How does the future look for women leaders in business?

A. The future for businesswomen who want and have the aptitude for leadership is bright. But not all women want to lead. For those who do, I increasingly see more recognition for the value of female perspective and a woman’s approach to strategic decision-making and risk-taking. The biggest challenge will be ensuring there is a solid pipeline of talented women leaders. Today, there is often a gap in the pipeline as talented women step out of the work force to raise a family.

Q. What advice would you give to women who are looking to make their mark in business?

A. I am so fortunate to work for a company founded 50 years ago by one of America’s greatest female entrepreneurs, Mary Kay Ash. Mary Kay wrote several books full of advice for succeeding in business. The principles of Mary Kay Ash are just as relevant today, and I look to them when offering advice on making a mark in business. Two of my favorites go hand in hand. First, "be a risk taker” and encourage those around you to take risks. Second, “don’t rest on your laurels." In today’s fast-paced world, you are either moving forward through self-improvement or falling behind.

As you consider the two prominent themes in Deb’s interview, risk-taking and relationships, challenge yourself to step out a little further –  and leverage your relationships to give you the support you need.  For more tips on how to do this, check out the chapter “What is sitting on the fence costing you?” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. available on Amazon.

Photo Credit:  Mary Kay

Self-Promotion Isn’t Selfish

This month, we’ve been exploring how to be bold about your unique strengths. Part of being bold, of course, is letting others know about those strengths and your accomplishments. Self-promotion makes some of us uneasy, so I want to debunk some of the negative stereotypes about it you may have.

“Bragging is self-centered.” Sharing information about what you’ve accomplished can be relevant and useful to others. Take your boss. Her job includes both leveraging your talents for the company and helping you develop. To do those things, she needs to hear about your strengths, talents and successes.

“My accomplishments should speak for themselves.” We all have lots of lots of people and priorities clamoring for our attention. Even when your boss or a client intends to note your successes, sometimes they’ll slip by unless you share them.

“I don’t have time to self-promote.” Making others aware of your strengths and successes isn’t an “extra,” it’s essential to your job.

These points are part of our video “Change How You View Self-Promotion.” You can find it and other videos from our “Tastefully Tooting Your Own Horn” series on the Learn page of our website.

Ready to go more in-depth on this topic? You’ll find more advice on effective, tactful self-promotion in our WOW! ProgramSM and WOW! Highlight AudioSM, as well as the book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.”

Finding Your Career Temperament

This month, we're exploring what makes you unique and how to boldly “own” it. Although there are many tools and resources available to raise your self-awareness, today I want to share some information about the Keirsey Temperament Theory. Dr. David Keirsey, noted psychologist and personality theorist, introduced his Temperament Theory in the early 1970s. The assessments developed from this Theory are still used by many global companies today and Keirsey’s books have become international best sellers.

Dr. Keirsey asserts that your temperament reflects traits which are observable in your behavior (i.e., in your communication, attitude and values), your personal needs, and how you want to contribute.  The four primary temperaments are Guardians, Artisans, Idealists and Rationals. Each temperament shows up in everything you say and do, offers something of value, and has its challenges.

Guardians keep things running smoothly and pride themselves on being dependable, trustworthy, loyal, and hard working. Follow through is important to them, and they take their responsibilities and rules seriously.  Finding membership and belonging within their work surroundings is important. The keys to Guardians' sense of well-being and success include contributing to society and having a sense of security and confidence in their abilities.

Artisans tend to focus on the here and now and are typically fun-loving, optimistic, and realistic. Often seen as risk-takers, they pride themselves on being unconventional, bold, and spontaneous. Artisans are usually in the middle of the action, seek variety, and thrive in positions that afford them independence. Some seek leadership positions.

Idealists are passionate about developing themselves and helping others realize their potential. An Idealist values authenticity and integrity and does not want to copy someone else, but rather be seen as unique and valuable.  Individuals with this temperament are the most attuned to values and seeking the greater good.

Finally, Rationals excel at complex problem-solving and will work tirelessly to achieve their goals.  Grounded in logic, they seek to understand how things work and how to make them better. Rationals commonly have a vision of the future along with the ability to make it come true, making them strong candidates for leadership roles.

Each and every one of these Temperaments offers value. After reading the descriptions, which one most closely describes you?  Which one would be second?  As you review the characteristics and skills, I want to challenge you to identify one that you would like to put into play more powerfully, and just one action step will take in the next week to do so.  Remember, small steps can lead to big results.