Getting a Leadership EDGE

How often has this thought crossed your mind? “I can’t afford time away to attend training and don't have the bandwidth to read yet another leadership book that may or may not help. I already have more than enough on my plate.”

We hear this all the time from people who want to get better results but struggle with finding the time to invest in their own development. So, today, I'm excited to announce the launch of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM of booklets — a new tool to help you succeed.

We designed the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets to give you what you need in a way that works for your busy schedule. Each booklet gives you practical, relevant information in manageable chunks to quickly help you get noticed, get results and get the edge.

Based on our experience advising and coaching leaders in Fortune 500 companies for over 20 years, we understand the challenges and skills that affect your ability to move up. No matter where you are in your career today, you'll come away with strategies you can use right away.

Choose which booklets make sense for you, based on your specific needs:

Building Executive Presence — Do others see you as someone who has leadership potential? Is your presence in sync with what you want others to notice about the value you bring? Use these everyday strategies to raise your self-awareness and quickly strengthen how you show up as a leader.

Strategically Standing Out —Do you wonder what others really think of you, and how that image hurts or helps your career and effectiveness? Do you want to get recognized for your contributions but just don’t know how to tastefully do so? This booklet will help you stand out among your colleagues and get the recognition you deserve.

Communicating with Impact — Does your communication style help others see you as someone with leadership potential? With valuable insight and information to share? Does your approach instill confidence in others? Learn how to send the right message, one that strengthens your brand and has a positive impact on business results.

Building Influence — As people move up in organizations, they have to get more done with and through other people to be successful. This requires understanding how to effectively build relationships and navigate organizational dynamics to create positive outcomes. Use the strategies in this booklet to minimize conflict and get faster results while building your credibility.

Staying Engaged — Are you losing that passion that helped you get where you are today? Are you ready for something to change, but don’t know exactly what or how to figure it out? Are you starting to feel disengaged? Gain more clarity and rediscover your passion so that you can get back in the game.

Staying in the Driver’s Seat —Do you have difficulty proactively creating the life that you want? Is how you invest your time and energy in sync with what matters most to you personally and professionally? Use these tools to get more of what you want personally, while moving forward in your career.

Building a Strong Team — Do you lead others, formally or informally, and want tools to help you manage and elevate their performance? Do you want to build more trust and promote more collaboration? This booklet has simple, effective strategies to help you do just that.

Building a Powerful Network — Do you understand the importance of a strong network, but struggle with finding the time or strategies that will work for you? Do you wish you had some simple tools to help you make progress? Learn how to develop lasting, genuine relationships that will help you get results for your career and the business.

Get immediate access to the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM of booklets, along with the other leadership tools we offer, in the Shop section of our website.

Step Out to Close the 'Confidence Gap'

Did you read the recent article "The Confidence Gap" in The Atlantic? The authors, broadcast journalists Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, explore the disparity in confidence between men and women and how that affects women's success in the workplace.  "Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities," Shipman and Kay write.   And they add, "A growing body of evidence shows just how devastating this lack of confidence can be. Success, it turns out, correlates just as closely with confidence as it does with competence."   But there is good news: Confidence can be learned, Shipman and Kay write.   A confidence makeover doesn't happen overnight. Instead, I believe that you start to build confidence as soon as you take just one small action to "put yourself out there" more than you have in the past.   Are you ready to take that first step toward more confidence? Here are a few ideas:

• Ask for something you want.

• Make a suggestion that you believe in, and that might meet with resistance.

• Speak up in a setting that’s less comfortable for you, such as meeting with senior leaders.

• Volunteer for an assignment that will require you to stretch beyond your comfort zone.

• Reach out to a leader you admire and respect but have hesitated to contact before.

After you've decided on what your action will be, try to get to the heart of what makes it challenging for you. What has held you back from actions like this in the past? Maybe you've worried you might lose credibility or even fail on that "stretch" assignment, or that you were wasting a senior leader's time by asking her for advice.   Once you clarify what's held you back in the past, consider the kind of support you need to make your bold move this time. What words of encouragement would you need to hear? Who do those words need to come from? You or someone else, such as a mentor or a former boss?   Finally, find a way to hold yourself accountable for your confidence-building move. What do you need to do to make sure you carry out your plan for putting yourself out there? Perhaps it's just scheduling time in your calendar to take action, or a follow-up call from someone you trust.   This week, identify the first step you want to take toward "stepping out" in a more visible way. Each small step will help you close that "confidence gap". And remember, small steps lead to big results.

Simple Steps to De-Stressing

It's not your imagination: People are feeling more stress these days. High performers, in particular tend to live packed lives and often work in dynamic, demanding environments. As you may have personally experienced, too much stress can hurt both your job performance and your health. And when you're overwhelmed, it can be hard to identify a first step toward finding a way out of your stress – especially if it feels like you have to make big changes to get there.

That's why I wanted to share three simple ideas to try the next time you are stressed. Choose any one of these to help you start getting centered again.

1. Just breathe.

This is one of the simplest, most effective strategies you can use. Under stress, we tend to take shallow breaths or even hold our breath more often. But by practicing diaphragmatic breathing (in other words, taking breaths that make your stomach rise instead of your chest) you can avoid "fight or flight" mode and trigger your body's relaxation response. Try this exercise when you're feeling stressed: Breathe in to a count of 3, exhale to a count of 6.

You can also practice this exercise proactively a few times a day to help keep your stress levels manageable. You can even do it in the middle of a meeting. And don't worry — you won't sound like Darth Vader!

2. Check in.

Schedule reminders on your calendar to check in with yourself regularly about how you are doing and what you need in that particular moment — whether it's to grab some lunch, drink water, stretch your stiff muscles, or to put on a sweater to be more comfortable in your chilly office. When our schedules are packed, it's easy to ignore to basic physical needs like these. Noticing and tending to them will help keep stress in check.

3. Get a boost.

Do a quick activity that will energize you. Maybe that's taking a walk outside, listening to your favorite music, stopping by the desk of the co-worker who always makes you laugh, or just being in a different environment for five minutes. Tony Schwartz, CEO of The Energy Project, advocates taking "renewal breaks" not only to be happier, but also to do your best work. Research shows that the quality of the renewal, matters more than the length of it, and it can dramatically impact your engagement and results.

This week, try one or more of these strategies the next time your stress levels rise. Or even better, proactively build these strategies into how you work. When things seem overwhelming, taking one of these small steps will help you stay calm and grounded. Remember, small steps can lead to big results.

The Power of One Conversation

Have you ever had one of those moments when someone tells you that something you said made a real difference in his or her life? Maybe it's a conversation you don't even remember, but it helped the other person make a change or shift perspective. As busy as we all are, it's important to realize how much you can affect another person with a single conversation. Just making someone feel validated, supported or heard makes a big impact and takes only a few minutes of your time.

We all have those times when we feel stuck or frustrated and need to talk through a challenge. To be a great conversation partner when someone needs a sounding board, you don't have to have all the answers or come up with an action plan. He may be in a frustrating situation that he can't change in the short term, but even helping him shift his attitude about the situation can be extremely valuable.

The key thing is just to be fully present for the other person. Take in what she's saying, both with her words and with her tone and her body language. That kind of deep listening is a gift. Take time to reflect what you notice: "You sound very upset about this." “You sound drained.” "You just don't seem like yourself."

These three questions can be helpful to ask the other person move forward:

• How do you feel right now?

• What do you really need right now?

• What do you most want right now?

(They're also great questions to ask yourself when you're feeling frustrated or stuck.)

The first two questions can help the other person identify her emotions and think strategically. Perhaps she feels disappointed and needs to feel appreciated. Sometimes we tend to stay "in our heads" about tough work challenges, so also getting in touch with our emotions can help us find the best solutions.

The "what do you want" question helps the other person start to take action to get centered again. That could mean getting positive encouragement from someone else, taking a break, getting some sleep, going for a stress-relieving run, or spending quality time with family.

This week, notice the colleagues around you who may need you to lend an ear or share your insight, and make yourself available for conversation. This small step for you can lead to big results for someone else.

What’s Next for You this Year?

As the year progresses or comes to a close, take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture. As high performers, we’re always pushing to achieve and tend to leap from one goal to the next without a pause.

Taking some reflection time, though, helps you be more strategic. Here are five questions to consider:

1. What have you accomplished this year? What has most excited you? What have you been most proud of? Those answers will give you insights on how to put your strengths and passions into play more powerfully.

2. What has helped or hindered your progress? Revisit any goals you set for the year. Do you need to shift your approach in any way to reach those goals this year?

3. What have you learned about your leadership? As you consider the answer to this question, identify what you want to take forward into the rest of the year, and what you want to leave behind.

4. How will you celebrate what you've done so far? However eager you are to keep moving forward, remember to pause to celebrate. You'll give your energy a boost.

5. What's next? Now that you've taken stock of where you are, be deliberate about how you want to move forward during the rest of the year. Where do you want to focus your energy and effort, given what you have learned so far this year?

This week, set aside some time to reflect on these questions and set your course for the rest of the year. You'll find more ideas on becoming proactive instead of reactive in my video "Making the Most of Your Time." Even pausing for a few minutes can open the door to new insights. Remember that small steps lead to big results.

FlyGirl's Tips to Soar in Your Career

As I mentioned in a past post, I spoke last month at the 2014 Working Mother Media Multicultural Women's National Conference in New York. As one of the U.S. Marine Corps’ first African American female pilots and America’s first African American female combat pilot, Vernice "FlyGirl" Armour was one of the most-talked-about presenters at the conference.

The consultant, trainer, speaker and author delivered an energetic keynote speech. I want to share some of the key points I took away from Armour's talk at the conference. I think you'll find them inspiring and energizing, and many are aligned with how I coach leaders.

• Look and act like you're already at the next level.

  As I always say, “Think about how you show up.” Consider what it says about your capabilities and potential. By noticing and aligning your behavior – in an authentic way – with what is valued at the next level, others will see more potential in you. Learn more about the importance of how you show up in this video, and check out my new booklet "Building Executive Presence" (part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM) for more strategies you can quickly put into play.

• Make a decision.

  Don't sit on the fence. Trust me; it will hurt after a while. If you need some extra motivation, learn how to escape three traps that keep you on the fence instead of moving forward.

• Acknowledge the obstacle in front of you, but don’t give it power.

  This was one of Armour’s biggest messages. She talked about the importance of recognizing the roadblocks, but simply as a way to strategize around moving past them. People often put too much emphasis on the obstacle itself, giving it a life of its own. She encourages you to avoid making excuses; commit to the commitment; take action — no matter how minor it may seem; and review, recharge and re-attack.

• What is your flight plan?

  Without clarity around your direction, it’s hard to move forward. By taking time to get really specific about the action you will take, and writing the steps down, you will increase the likelihood of achieving your goals.

• You have permission to engage now.

  Stop raising your hand waiting for others to give you permission and just move forward. You are more empowered than you may realize. Recognize when you just need to take action and inform.

• As leaders, what seeds are you planting?

  Each of us has the opportunity to develop future talent. What are you doing to cultivate others? In my own work, I talk about the importance of delegating to help others grow. Another e-booklet in the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM. "Building a Strong Team," has more ideas on developing others.

• Who needs a runway? Take off from where you are.

  Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith and go for it. I often hear stories of people who tie their commitment to taking action to another condition being met. At the end of the day, that may never happen. What would mean to you if you achieved what you want? What would be happening in your life? How would it feel? As you think through the answers to those questions, they will motivate you to take the first step.

What piece of Armour's advice resonates the most with you now? How can you put it into play this week? Remember, soaring like FlyGirl starts with small steps.

PhotoCredit - Wikipedia

A Busy Summer: Taking Things Up a Notch

This summer has been packed with new opportunities to speak and teach about leadership. Here's a little bit of what I've been doing. And stay tuned: There's another big announcement ahead! 'Finding Balance' Interview on CBS11

PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi sparked a lot of discussion with her remarks during the Aspen Ideas Festival."I don’t think women can have it all; I just don’t think so," Nooyi said. "We pretend we have it all.”

CBS11 here in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex invited me to give my own take on this topic. During a live studio interview, I said women can "have it all" but we have to look at it from a long-term perspective. At any given moment in your life, some things will take higher priority than others. Keep the bigger picture in mind, and what success looks like for you regardless of what others think. Everyone has an opinion about what makes a good mom, a good wife, a good leader. When you have clarity about your own definition of success, you can make choices in sync with it.

Fox News Radio Interview on Narcissism

Recently, I was asked to give my perspective on another topic in the news with Fox News WILS 1320 radio in Lansing, Mich. I was interviewed about a story in the Wall Street Journal that shared recent research on narcissism and other "bad" behaviors that can sometimes help people rise as leaders. I talked about the detriments and benefits of narcissism, and that we all have a bit of it. When taken to the extreme, narcissism can certainly cause disruption.

To work with someone prone to narcissism, look for ways to find alignment between what you want to achieve and what's important to him or her. And remember not to take a narcissist's behavior personally or let it push your buttons.

Multicultural Women's National Conference

On July 16-17, I took part in Working Mother's 2014 Multicultural Women's National Conference.

At my session, I shared strategies to help attendees avoid burnout, stay engaged and be more fulfilled. In a lively discussion, we talked about how to maintain energy and focus when we're pulled in so many directions and we have high expectations for ourselves.

One of the major points I stressed was being mindful of your physical energy, especially when it comes to getting enough rest. However busy you are, it's important to take breaks, even if it's just to get away from your desk for a moment or to do a breathing exercise.

I'll share more about my own takeaways from the conference in a future post.

Liberty and Leadership at Bush Institute

I've written before about how much I love working with the George W. Bush Institute’s programs to develop and empower leaders. In July, I was honored to teach at a new program, the Liberty and Leadership Forum. The forum's first class is made up of young leaders from Burma. The program focuses on helping these democracy advocates, many of whom had been political prisoners, learn the skills they need to bring about change in their home country.

In my first session with them, I coached them on how to clearly and concisely articulate the value they offer. This excerpt from an article written by the Dallas Morning News reporter who sat in my session captures the experience.

“On one of the last afternoons of training, the young Burmese tittered as they took turns with their one-sentence speeches.

It helped that the 18 participants had grown close over three weeks. When one of them said he would someday run the country, the rest of the group teased him, calling him “Mr. President.” But they also eagerly gave one another feedback.

When Kyi Min Han’s turn arrived, his passion was unmistakable. Words tumbled out as he tried to explain his efforts to improve the skills of government workers. That, in turn, would strengthen government institutions and ultimately make the country more stable.

But he couldn’t distill it down to one concise sentence — key for focusing goals and capturing others’ attention. Try after try got him closer, as his peers urged him on. And then on what must have been his 10th attempt, he nailed it.

The room burst into applause.”

As I continue to do this type of work, it reinforces the fact that no matter where you are in the world, whatever your work is, it's critical to help others understand the value you bring in simple terms. Only then can they can connect you to people who can benefit from what you offer.

We ended the day by taking this concept one step further – discussing how to build and leverage their networks. Given their circumstances, many of the participants wanted more access to people with power and influence who could help them effect change. But equally important was their need for relationships that would give them critical support and encouragement to keep forging ahead.

I left that afternoon truly humbled to work with people who are fighting so hard for the privileges we often take for granted in the United States.

Coming Soon

In the next few days, look for an announcement about some exciting new offerings aimed at helping you fit leadership development into your busy schedule.

Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

As we talk this month about resilience, I want to share a resource to help you build your ability to bounce back.  These "Thinking Traps" were identified by the Hay Group, a global management consulting firm.   If we recognize when we fall into these traps, we can start to see new ways to move past a setback or challenge.   Take a look at this list. Which Thinking Traps have you experienced?  

Personalizing

When you personalize, you assume that a negative event — say, a meeting that went off the rails — is entirely your responsibility.   While you should always assess what went well and what you would do differently next time, routinely taking on all the blame may undermine your confidence and make you overlook the true root of the problem. Instead, try asking someone you trust to help you see the full picture of what happened and what action to take now.  

Externalizing

The other extreme, externalizing, means that you take no responsibility for a problem. If you externalize, you would blame the off-the-rails meeting on everyone else while overlooking how you contributed.   Passing the buck in this way can keep you from learning and growing and could block your success in the long run. Make it a practice to simply notice how others react, verbally and nonverbally, to what you say and do.  

Magnifying and Minimizing

Do you ever exaggerate the negative aspects of an event and ignore or downplay the positives? In our meeting example, perhaps you're overlooking that it was smooth and productive until the last few minutes.   As high performers, we have rigorous personal standards, but overemphasizing failure over success will limit your ability to put your strengths more powerfully into play. Take time to learn from your successes so you can repeat them. And you can't do that unless you first acknowledge them.  

Overgeneralizing

This means forming broad judgments about yourself or others without evidence. If, after one rough meeting, you declare that you're terrible at presenting, you're overgeneralizing.   By simply asking yourself what went well and what you should have done differently, you will begin to form a more accurate picture of your performance. This is another situation where it could help to get an outside viewpoint on how you're really doing.  

Mind Reading

When you fall into this trap, you assume that you know what someone else is thinking. You can psych yourself out when you believe the worst.   If you're prone to mind reading, make it a practice to ask more questions to confirm and clarify. You might be surprised at what you learn.  

Emotional Reasoning

This means assuming that your emotions are accurate indicators about the nature of the event, without looking for other evidence. Perhaps you're so upset about what went wrong at the meeting that you don't see what went well.   Get more information and evidence to make a more rational assessment. It also always helps to breathe and step back from your emotions.  

Catastrophizing

We've probably all been guilty of exaggerating the negative impact of an event: "The meeting was terrible — now I definitely don’t have a shot at getting promoted."   In this situation, bring yourself back to the here and now and out of your worries about the future. Simply ask yourself, "What is the first step I need to take after this setback?"   This week, notice whether you're falling into any of these Thinking Traps. What is one small step you will take to shift your thinking and make yourself more resilient? You'll find more ideas on building your resilience and effectiveness on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. And remember, small steps lead to big results.

How to Discover Your Resilience

A client I've worked with about six months just got some great news: a promotion! I'm very proud of her, especially because she had just gone through an experience that had shaken her confidence. When a new role left her battling self-doubt, we worked together to get her "back to herself" so she could be a star performer again (and show this to others).  She's a great example of resilience, our blog theme this month. And the secret to her resilience was all in her mindset. She was willing to explore what had worked in the past to figure out what to do going forward. Together, we looked back at another time when she had been in a new situation and got up to speed quickly. This helped us discover strategies to use now.   If you need some insights on how to get through your own difficult situation, try working with the questions below. First, think of a challenge or setback you faced in the past and how you got through it. Then ask yourself:

• What was going on?

• What did you do in response?

• What worked?

• What mindset did you have? How you look at things makes the biggest difference in whether you're resilient. What were you thinking and feeling? (And how accurate were those thoughts and feelings?) How did you frame the situation?

• How did you engage others?

• What did you have to let go of? (For example, a process, a situation or a belief)

• What worked that surprised you?

• What skills did you use?

• What is one thing that you did then that could help you today?

My client found clues in her past that unlocked the resilience she needed today. This week, use these questions to gain insights from your past successes to help with a current challenge. For more ideas on finding your best success strategies, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠. Even taking a few small steps can lead you big results.

Spilled Drinks and Defining Leadership Moments

We all make mistakes at work — sometimes they're even really big, embarrassing mistakes. But no matter what happened, what matters a whole lot more is what you do afterward. I gave some impromptu coaching on this subject at a surprising time: after a waiter had just spilled a tray full of drinks all over me.

I was out with family members at a restaurant close to home when the waiter fumbled, giving me a sudden shower of iced tea and soft drinks. The spill was such a jolt that I jumped up out of my seat. But what was really surprising was the waiter's reaction: Instead of helping me or apologizing, he started to clean the table. I couldn’t believe I had to ask for a towel as I stood there dripping.

Luckily my home is close enough to the restaurant that I could dash back, change clothes and return to salvage the meal. Back at our table, though, the mess from the spill wasn’t getting cleaned up, and the waiter was MIA. When I got back, I called the manager over to take our order.

At the end of our eventful lunch, over an hour later, our waiter finally reappeared with the check and an apology. He said was used to being a strong performer and nothing like this mishap had ever happened to him before. He was so shocked that he just didn’t know what to do.

I told him that I wasn't mad about the initial spill – because it wasn’t intentional – but what did trouble me was how he reacted afterward. The fact that he completely avoided a difficult situation told me that he wasn’t willing to take ownership. And was that really the message he intended to send? I encouraged him to not let one slip-up define him because he knows he’s better than that.

By the time we finished our conversation, he looked like a new person. As I stood in the parking lot with my family as we said our goodbyes, the manager ran out to tell me the waiter was beaming and thanked me for taking the time to coach him.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves in this waiter's shoes. We mess up; everyone knows; we wonder how we'll ever recover. These times can be defining moments in our leadership. Like the waiter, we can be remembered for the mistake or how we respond and recover — it's up to us. And remember, if you’re the person on the receiving end of the mistake, you can help the other person grow and learn from their mistake.

This week, take some time to think about your last big goof and how you recovered. What would you do differently next time? You'll find more ideas on defining yourself as a leader on my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

4 Powerful Questions to Get You Moving Forward

Our blog topic this month is resilience. How you bounce back from challenges big and small is one of the keys to your success — not to mention your happiness. Sometimes finding the way forward takes some self-reflection. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated or tired of dealing with the same problems again and again, there might be solutions right in front of you that you just can’t see.

These four questions can help clear away your mental blocks so that you can move forward.

1. What’s your mindset? Start by looking at your attitude about your situation. What are you telling yourself? For example, it could be:

• “I don’t have the energy to deal with this.”

• “Why try harder? It won’t really make a difference.”

• “Things will never get better.”

Your mindset may be the very thing that's holding you back, because it affects your choices and how you engage with others. If you find that your self-talk is negative, what messages do you want to replace the current ones with so that you can make more progress?

2. What are you tolerating that you need to let go of? We all have things, large and small, that we tolerate in our lives. When you hold onto them for too long, they can significantly affect your progress. Take a look at the list below to see if any of these apply to you:

• Being disorganized, resulting in unproductive time

• Failing to plan ahead, allowing lower priority work to take over

• Doing work that others should be doing because of a failure to hold others accountable or delegate

What one small change can you make to free up some energy, and create capacity to find a solution?

3. What choices are you making that are keeping you where you are? Things typically don’t just happen to us. Outcomes are usually the result of a series or choices that we and others have made along the way. When we make some choices over and over again, they form patterns that may not serve us well.

So, if you’re frustrated by what’s going on around you, ask yourself how you are enabling that situation to continue. The following questions may provoke some ideas:

• Do you keep trying the same approach, but expect a different result?

• Are you putting off a difficult conversation?

• Have your engaged others in solving the problem with you (e.g., escalated the issue that needs to be addressed)?

As you consider the questions above, what do you notice about your own behavior?

4. Are you burnt out? Finally, your physical health could be a surprising factor that's keeping you from making progress. Are you getting enough sleep? What does your diet look like? Feeling physically drained can lead you to make more emotional rather than rational decisions. Even getting 15 minutes more of sleep, making sure you don’t skip a meal, or taking five-minute breaks throughout the day can make a big difference.

If you are having difficulty answering any of these questions, ask someone to think through them with you. Choose someone who will be candid with you. Remember that small changes lead to big results. For more practical ideas and resources, check out my WOW! Program Highlight Audio℠.

Leading Without Authority

I often hear complaints from people having trouble getting what they need from colleagues who don’t report to them. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Demonstrating leadership is possible (and important) in your job even if a word like “executive” or “officer” is not part of your job title. It takes understanding yourself and those around you.

When you aren't in a position of authority, you can't just direct people to take action. So, what strategies can you use instead? Here are three to try.

Determine how others view you

You'll be most effective in influencing others if you first examine your own reputation. What others think of you will affect how they interpret your suggestions. If, for example, you're known for always doing the right thing for the business, it may make it easier to get traction. Also consider whether any part of your reputation could stand in the way of what you're trying to accomplish. Perhaps your directness rubs some people the wrong way, so you may need to consider that as you develop the best approach.

Leverage your advocates

Get clear on who does have power and influence to help you in the current situation, and remember to consider informal and formal leaders. Based on the messages that need to be delivered, who would be most effective in conveying them? Who would have the biggest impact? Request the involvement of these individuals by explaining the bigger picture, the key business results you are trying to achieve.

Build alignment

To more effectively lead without authority, find the alignment between your goals and what's important to others. Look for the common ground you already share with the people you want to influence, and frame your suggestions in that context. Perhaps it's a commitment to innovation or customer service.

You can then work to drive alignment in other areas. People will be more receptive to what you want when you invest in taking time to understand their needs. How will what you're asking of them affect their results, their credibility and their relationships? What data and other information can you give them to show how will they benefit?

This week, think about something you're working on and one step you can take to leverage one of these strategies to make further progress. Even if you do have formal authority, this exercise can still be useful. Remember that small steps lead to big results. For more ideas on this topic, see the modules on Getting the Right Work Done and Building a Network of Advocates in the WOW! Lite Program℠

Increase Your Influence in One Conversation

We’re sharing ideas this month to help you be the kind of leader you want to be. This week, I want to tell you about a strategy that can make all the difference in managing a work relationship. I spent a large part of my career in various leadership roles at Deloitte. Every time I started a new project with a team, I would have a conversation with each person at the outset. Our discussion topics ranged from goals to strengths to communication styles.

First, we would talk about that person’s goals for the year and for her career as a whole.

• What skills and exposure do you want?

• Who do you want to work with and why?

• What are your specific goals for the current project?

• What would make you feel that the project was a great experience?

Next, I asked questions to get a handle on her strengths and preferences:

• In the context of the work we’re about to do, what should I know about what you’re really good at and any relevant past experiences? (This reveals critical information that otherwise might not surface as quickly and can be a good team exercise.)

• What is the best way to communicate with you (face-to-face or email)?

• If I need something from you quickly, what’s the best way to approach it?

As I learned more about each team member, I also shared what worked for me and my preferences as a leader.

From there, we set some agreements on working together. I let the team member know what I could offer through the current project that fit her goals. We could decide on a communication approach that worked for us both and on how we would gauge our progress along the way.

This conversation was a great way to set the stage for an open and effective working relationship. It allowed us to become more proactive about creating the right opportunities, and the team member understood that I was coming from a place of genuine interest in her goals and development.

Whether you’re working with a new team or an existing one, it’s never too late to ask some of these questions. This week, I challenge you to identify one conversation you’d like to have, or one question you would like to ask from the list above. You can find more ideas like this one in the chapter “Strategies to Create a High-Performing Team” in my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens. Remember, small steps can lead to big results

Do You Fall Into These Leadership Traps?

This month, we’re talking about what kind of leader you want to be. As an executive coach, I’ve helped many leaders identify and address their personal stumbling blocks so that they can reach their full potential. Take a look at this list of some of the most common leadership traps. Which ones strike a chord with you?

The trap: You get bogged down in the small stuff. You often get distracted from the work that’s going to make the most difference. The fix: Identify the top three areas that reflect where you can have the biggest impact on the business and make the highest and best use of your skills. This is where you should focus your energy.

The trap: You don’t connect the dots, so colleagues may misinterpret the meaning behind your actions. The fix: First, get clear about the top three things that guide your leadership. Then use it to frame up what you say and do. In other words, regularly give others insight on what you think is important, how you measure success and the results you are trying to achieve.

The trap: You aren’t communicating the bigger picture. Are you telling people what you want to do but leaving out the “why”? The fix: Connect what you are proposing to how it relates to what’s right for the business or team.

The trap: Emotions get the better of you. You have trouble managing your moods and reactions. Your tone and body language convey stress or frustration. The fix: Practice self-care to keep yourself centered, grounded and positive. Learn strategies to manage your emotions when your buttons get pushed.

The trap: You bring more negative energy than positive. The ability to spot and flag problems or risks is a strength, but you may be coming off as a naysayer. The fix: Frame your concerns more positively. There’s a big difference between “There’s a lot that could go wrong with this idea.” and “I really like Points A, B and C of this idea. And let’s also consider these other aspects…”

The trap: You don’t make the most of your team. You sense there’s untapped potential and a lack of engagement. The fix: Get to know the strengths and passions of your team members so that you can proactively assign them work that plays to them, and will get them excited.

The trap: You ignore office politics. Perhaps you’d prefer to remain above it all and let your work speak for itself, but what’s going on politically in your office affects your ability to get results. The fix:  Look at who has the resources, information and influence you need to get business results. How can you get those people in your corner?

The trap: You put networking on the backburner. I get it: You’re busy, and networking seems time-consuming or intimidating. But you need strong relationships to accomplish your goals and help your career grow. The fix: Make networking a habit. Even taking a few minutes each week to pass along an interesting article or make an introduction can strengthen your relationships.

Which of these traps do you fall into? This week, pick one of the areas that give you trouble and see what you can change. My book “Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens” has more resources you can use. Remember, you don’t have to tackle it all at once. Small steps can lead to big results.

Lead by Helping Others Grow

We're talking this month about what kind of leader you are. One of the leadership qualities that will help you succeed is the ability to develop others.  

Creating growth opportunities, though, can be easy to overlook in our rush to get things done. Take a look at the list below. Identify the strategies you already leverage well today and one or two that you would like to start doing to help others develop.

1. Ask people about their passions, interests and the type of opportunities they seek.

2. Give others opportunities to be the external face of the organization, such as with a professional association or community group.

3. Invite others to meetings that will give them exposure to senior leaders or raise their visibility.

4. Introduce people to others who can help them achieve their career goals.

5. Share a colleague’s accomplishments so that others can tap into their strengths, and to give them more visibility.

6. Give feedback in the moment on what your team members do well and suggestions about how to be even more effective.

7. Delegate work with a team member's professional development in mind.

8. Ask someone to deliver a presentation to share their knowledge and raise their profile.

9. Give an opportunity for a rotation or a special assignment (beyond a stretch project).

10. Give a team member an opportunity to provide peer mentoring.

What did you notice about how you're creating growth opportunities for others? I challenge you to put at least one of these ideas into play more powerfully this week. For more ideas on creating a high-performing team, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through A New Lens.

The Power of One

I just got back from an inspiring visit to Washington, D.C. and it left me realizing the Power of One – the difference one individual can make. As I stood at the US Capitol, I couldn’t help but think about the amazing men and women who laid the foundation for the freedom and rights we enjoy today.  Like the other community volunteers on this trip, I went to DC with United Way because I want to affect positive change and I believe in the impact one passionate individual can have. His or her passion can engage others, and quickly turn from individual to collective impact.

During this trip, we talked to legislators about partnering with them to address challenges around income, education and health in our community. As I think about the challenges I hear from the Tunisian women in the Bush Institute’s Fellowship Program who are working to catalyze change around the world, I realize how much access and influence each of us has in the US – if we choose to leverage it.

Although it’s still not an easy task to make big changes happen, we can make a difference one person at a time. By arming others with knowledge and tools they can pass on to others, and by helping them develop strong support networks, the Power of One quickly multiplies. In D.C., we did just that. We shared vital information and laid the foundation for collaborative relationships that will allow us to work together down the road to affect greater change.

So, I want to challenge you to think about how you currently use the Power of One in your own life. You don’t have to take a trip to D.C., or take on a big project or role to do this. Every day you have the opportunity to make a big difference through each and every individual you touch.

Whether or not you hold a formal leadership role, think about how much you advocate for the change and results you want to see. Notice how you:

• Show up, and how your energy affects those around you

• Use your passion to engage others in being part of a bigger vision

• Leverage your strengths and knowledge to build capability in others

• Help others build stronger support networks

As you consider these areas where you can demonstrate leadership, choose one to focus on and identify one small step will you take to put the Power of One into play this week. And remember that small steps can lead to big results.

The Power of Celebrating Successes

When was the last time you celebrated success — I mean, really celebrated? As high performers, we often go without a break from one project to the next, not pausing to look at what we learned or how far we and others have come.  

But taking time to notice and acknowledge is crucial. We're talking about lifting others up this month, and celebrating their successes is one of the key ways to do that.

The first step is getting in the practice of acknowledging your own successes and looking at what you did to make them happen. You can then expand that kind of thinking to your team. We're not talking about just taking "rah-rah" moments, but rather looking at the positive impact made by others and how they did it.

Here are five easy-to-implement strategies to get you started.

• Use regular debrief sessions. When a project or a meeting is complete, take a few minutes to talk about what went well. (Of course, you should also discuss what to do differently next time, but don't gloss over the positives in a rush to offer suggestions.)

• Ask people what they are the most proud of in how they accomplished something. You'll learn about what motivates them, which is important information to know as you work to lift others.

• Start meetings by asking people to share their successes or what's going well. This gives them permission to get excited about their victories, and it gives you more insight as a leader.

• Send handwritten notes to highlight something specific a team member did well, or make a point to give one-on-one praise outside of group debrief sessions. This reinforces what you value and want to see more of.

• Don't forget little symbolic gestures. A celebration of success doesn't have to be something formal or planned. Giving a funny memento of a project or taking the team out for an impromptu lunch or happy hour are meaningful ways to show appreciation,

Celebrating successes can help keep your team members engaged and give them insights on how they can repeat their successes. Whatever strategies you choose, take a few minutes to bring more celebration into your week. For more ideas on bringing out the best in yourself and others, check out my book Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens.

Get More Out of Your Meetings

This month, we've been talking about how to lift others up. We've already discussed helping them grow professionally and celebrating their successes. Another way you can bolster your team and your colleagues is by helping them work smarter and avoid practices that stand in the way of their best results. I'm willing to bet that most people would cite meetings as one of the things that hamper their productivity — and happiness — at work. But a few surprisingly simple tweaks can shift that.

• Request at least one expected outcome and objective when people ask to meet with you. Ask for these before you commit the time for the meeting. This will help you and the other person clarify what you want to get out of it and make better use of the time.

• For meetings that you lead, restructure your agenda so that the purpose of the topic is clear: to provide an update, get input, or make a decision. (See my gift to you below). If the agenda involves mostly updates, challenge the need for the meeting. Look for other more efficient ways to provide them. Reserve meetings for topics that require input and discussion.

• Set expectations about how far in advance you need meeting materials so that you can prepare and contribute to the meeting.

• Shorten your meetings. For example, reduce one-hour meetings to 45 minutes. This will give you time to process what happened in the meeting and follow up before your next one.

• Show up with intention and purpose. What would make this meeting worthwhile, and how can you make sure that occurs? By simply asking yourself this before you walk in, you will be more deliberate about how you use the time.

As our gift to you, we're offering a free, downloadable agenda template to focus your meetings by clarifying the purpose of each topic. It is simple, but effective. Give it a try this week and let me know how it worked for you. Find more tips for working smarter and having more impact in the "Getting the Right Work Done" module of the WOW! Women On the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM and in the WOW! Highlight AudioSM.

What I Learned from a Sprained Ankle and Black Eye

It's been quite a spring! Nine weeks ago, I severely sprained my ankle. Then, five weeks into my recovery, just as I was transitioning from a boot to a brace with my ankle, I got a facial fracture and black eye playing baseball! At this point, I have six to nine months to go before my fracture fully heals and at least two more months to go on the ankle. For those of you who know me well, you know I am very physically active. And it’s not something I just do; it’s part of who I am. These injuries have taught me a lot about myself as I have been, and continue to be, stretched in new ways. As we explore our May theme of lifting up others, I want to share what I have learned on this subject from my journey.

Mindfulness as a Way to Build Resilience

First and foremost, I have been forced to be more mindful about everything as I have had to pay attention to the details of daily life in a way that I haven’t before. With a sprained ankle, things that I mastered long ago (like walking) became difficult and simple decisions more complex. What clothes would work with a big boot on my leg? Which shoe would fit with an ankle brace? How could I relieve stress without my regular runs? This experience has caused me to notice the simple pleasures in life, feel more gratitude for them, and to be much more intentional about helping others notice the positive aspects of their lives.

Beyond physical considerations, I am much more mindful about the energy I bring to a conversation. The more people ask about my injuries and feel sorry for me, the more my optimism kicks in. So, even though I have my ups and downs, I know this is a minor physical setback in the big picture, not a major disruption. I know that my energy, positive or negative, affects my resilience…and it is contagious. I fully recognize that others have far bigger challenges to deal with than I do, like life threatening diseases. So, I find myself being more deliberate about how I Show Up and the positive impact I want to have on others.

Staying in the Moment as a Strategy to Increase Patience

I know I still have more work to do before someone would say I am a patient person! I am usually ready to take the bull by the horns, so when it comes to limitations I focus primarily on how to get past them. In this case, I really can’t accelerate my healing process and I have a big hiking trip in the Grand Canyon coming up in 4 weeks. As I have wrestled with this, I realized that when can I focus on the “here and now”, I worry far less about what might or might not happen in the future. In other words, I noticed that the more I can stay in the moment, the more patience I have.This has helped me make the most of my current situation, and be more resourceful and creative as I do so. For example, without the ability to run, I found other ways to stay physically and mentally strong like lifting weights, cycling on a recumbent bike with one leg, and meditating more regularly.

Caring and Concern Works

Finally, the most surprising part of my experience was what I learned from how others reacted to my injuries. In the first few weeks, when I was wearing the boot, strangers and friends would immediately ask about the story behind my injury. But once I had a black eye to go with the ankle injury, people held back. It felt so odd when people acted like they didn’t see this blatantly obvious injury and, at first, I took it personally.

Then, I remembered how often someone’s behavior is more about them. In other words, people often want to avoid potentially awkward or difficult conversations. As I thought about this, I realized that when someone approaches a situation from a place of genuine care and concern, the questions feel more supportive than intrusive. Even saying something as simple as, “You look like you’re hurt. Are you okay?” can go a long way.

Although life isn’t quite back to normal, I'm thankful for the self-awareness and insight I have gained. So, I want to leave you with the following questions to help you get as sense of how you lift others up.

• How often do you help others see how the glass is half full versus half empty when they face adversity?

• What kind of energy do you usually give to others? Positive or negative?

• How often do you stay in the moment, increasing your patience and resourcefulness?

• How often do you defuse or get past potentially awkward or difficult situations by demonstrating genuine care and concern?

As you answer these questions, pick one area that you would like to focus on this week to lift others up. And remember small steps can lead to big results.

Learn from Your Own Advice

The advice you give can tell you a lot about yourself. I was thinking about this recently during an event at the George W. Bush Institute. I’ve written before about my passion for the institute’s Women’s Initiative Fellows Program, and I am honored to be faculty and a mentor for the current fellowship class. This class is made up of 18 women from Tunisia who are enhancing their leadership skills and working together to empower women to catalyze change.

Earlier this month, the women completed the first part of the yearlong program, a five-week stay in the U.S. During the closing event at the Bush center, they shared what they have learned through the fellowship.

One of the women said something that really resonated with me. She explained how she would use the letters ABCD to remember the most important advice she had received in the program

A is for “Add value.” Whatever you do, focus on creating value.

B is for “Be passionate.” You’ll be more creative and resourceful if you’re passionate about what you’re doing.

C is for “Connect.” Develop genuine, authentic relationships.

D is for “Do it.” Be willing to put yourself out there.

Our articles this month have focused on being bold about what makes you unique. The areas this Tunisian woman highlights reveal a lot to us about what makes her unique as leader.

My challenge to you this week is to think about what you would have said in her shoes. If you were asked to share your best advice on what drives success, how would you respond? Your answers will give you insight into what works for you and what makes you unique. I’ll be drawing inspiration from these Bush Institute fellows as they change the world, and I hope you will be, too.