Where to Start When You're Ready to Grow

Growth

To stay successful, you have to invest in your own professional and personal development. As you do, though, it's important to make sure that the investment you're making is the right one for you.

I'm winding down a busy time in my life when I put a lot of time and money into a leadership program. It served as an impetus to make more time to focus on my goals, and to surround myself with a motivated peer group interested in growing and taking things to the next level. As I got deeper into my program, though, I realized that it wasn't teaching me any "secrets" I didn't already know. And the heavy travel and long hours were taking a personal toll on me and time out of my life that I wanted to use for other things.

So I canceled my trips for the last two conferences, and am continuing with investing in an executive coach for myself. I'm coming away from the experience with a critical reminder: We don't always have to look outward for the answers. Sometimes we just need to create capacity to leverage what we know.

At times my executive coaching clients think they need new or different ideas to keep moving forward. But I remind them that they already possess a gold mine of strategies and insights based on their experiences. Together, we tap into the wisdom that they already have (their personal best practices) and then determine if we need to supplement it.

When you want to grow and take things to the next level, start by defining the outcome you want to achieve before you brainstorm options to accomplish it. As you identify different ways to achieve your outcome, don’t overlook the importance of exploring what you already know before you sign up for something else. Try this simple, three-step process to access your own wisdom before you seek answers elsewhere.

Training programs and other development opportunities can help you get clear on who you are and who you aren't, and expand your network. To make the most of them, be intentional about what you want to get out of them and how you’ll apply what you learn to build on what you already know. And if you want that extra boost to help you take action, consider working with a coach.

If there are skills and knowledge you'd like to build, explore our products and services. You'll find options that fit your needs, whether you're looking for an in-depth program or quick-hit strategies from books, audio training or videos.

3 Keys to Catching Up After Vacation

Commercial jet flying above clouds.

Time away from work does wonders to help you recharge, keep things in perspective, and show up at your best. I recommend unplugging as much as you can while you're off.

The flip side of taking a break, though, is that feeling of being overwhelmed when you return to the office. That happened to me in a big way this summer. I had a week back home between two major international trips, and — wouldn't you know it? — I got sick during that time.     When I finally did get back to work, I was buried in emails and projects I was behind on. Here are the three strategies that helped me manage my stress and conquer the backlog.

1. Set Some Priorities

When you go back to work after a break, there's so much going on that it can be hard to know what to do first. If your mind is churning over everything on your to-do list, you might get overwhelmed and paralyze yourself into inaction. Remember that you don't have to do everything immediately. Start by identifying the top two or three things you should tackle first — where you can have the biggest impact. Once you get those done, you can worry about the next three.

1. Manage Your Energy

You just "refilled your tank" with some energy, so you don't want to drain it again in your first couple of days back at work! Even if you feel pressure to get caught up, take breaks. Don’t forget that the quality of the break matters much more than the quantity of time you spend taking it. Five minutes every hour and a half can do the trick (energy peaks and valleys go in 90-minute cycles). Even work you usually love can feel stressful if you're trying to slog through too much of it at once. Research shows that people who work 60-70 hours a week don’t have higher productivity. So, be mindful not to let fatigue set in because even simple tasks can take much longer to complete. Get that much-needed rest through breaks and a good night’s sleep.

1. Remember What Works For You

You probably already have some go-to time management or productivity strategies that consistently get results for you. But when we feel overwhelmed or stressed, our best practices can go straight out the window. Before you dive back into work, think about what has worked well for you in the past to get through hectic times. How can you put at least one or two of those practices into play now?

Keep these tips handy for the next time you return from time off. Some small steps in the right direction can make catching up a lot easier and keep that post-vacation glow going just a little longer. You'll find more tips on always being at your best in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens."  

Vulnerability as a Leadership Tool

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Recently, I had the chance to see Brené Brown speak about her well-known book, "Daring Greatly." She talked about vulnerability, which she defines as allowing yourself to be "seen" when the outcome is uncertain.  

This really resonated with me, especially since I coach executives on how to show up with authenticity and strength. Putting yourself "out there" can inspire others to do the same.

It doesn't always mean you have to take a massive leap into uncertainty. For example, sometimes vulnerability is allowing others to give you input and acknowledging that you don't have all the answers. Instead, you are relying on your team to find the answers with you.

I was coaching a client who shared how much he admired the way his boss showed vulnerability. He had no idea that he was doing the same, and that he had mastered it. His team viewed him as a strong leader because of his willingness to put himself out there as someone who doesn't know it all.

What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?

Brown also talked about the stories we tell ourselves — especially when we are vulnerable and things don't go our way. She explained that the brain looks for a story to make sense of things when something difficult happens. In fact, the brain chemically rewards the story, even if it is incorrect.

So be mindful of what you are telling yourself. Use powerful questions — like "What else could be going on?" or "What does the evidence really tell me?" — to help you take a broader view. Ask others who will be candid with you for input and perspective. My son is 10 years old, and we already do this together. It's never too early or too late to start.

Feedback and Appreciation: Our Best Advice

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Feedback and appreciation are some of the most requested topics. Here is a collection on giving feedback.

• Why is it so hard to give feedback? If you struggle with giving candid performance feedback, take a look at your mindset.

• Making awkward feedback easier.Have you been putting off talking to an employee about a behavior, habit or mannerism that's giving people the wrong impression of him? This article can help.

• Fast, easy ways to recognize employees. Giving more praise and appreciation doesn't have to be time-consuming.

• The two-part feedback formula. This process can take a lot of the emotional charge out of giving feedback.

• Feedback and respect. Respect is closely tied to job satisfaction. And the setting you choose for delivering feedback can convey respect or disrespect.

• Develop others (without draining yourself). Sometimes the team members who need the most feedback are the very ones who sap your energy.

• Directness is key. If you shy away from telling team members what's holding them back, you're ultimately hurting them.

• Lead by helping your team grow. One of leaders' main jobs is developing others. Feedback is part of that process.

• How to help a 'stuck' employee. Have you ever been frustrated with a team member who isn’t performing as you need — and who’s showing no signs of changing?

• The power of celebrating successes. It's essential to do this for your team members — and for yourself!

You can learn much more about giving feedback and other ways to help your team succeed in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens." Follow the link to download five free chapters!

Leadership Lessons from an Olympic Athlete

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As you may know, I’m a huge supporter of United Way and have been volunteering with this organization for years. At a recent United Way Tocqueville event in Dallas, I had the rare opportunity to hear Olympic gold medalist Michael Johnson speak. As he shared what he had learned from his years of competition in the 200- and 400-meter sprints, I realized how much of what he said applies to leadership – especially to the high performers that I coach.  

Be Better Today Than You Were Yesterday

Sometimes we forget how much we can achieve by taking small steps. In the Olympics, shaving off a fraction of a second can be the difference between winning the gold medal or not — when you won't get another shot for four years. In both your professional and persona lives, taking even five minutes to stop and think about one small thing you can do better than you did yesterday can have a huge impact over time. I’m sure you’ve heard me say by now how small steps can lead to big results.

Have a Race Strategy

Even though sprints are for short distances, they still require careful thought and planning. In the workplace, it can be easy to tell yourself you can tolerate some things for a while, even when you are working crazy hours. When was the last time you sat back and thought about how you really want to achieve your goals? An “all out” strategy may burn you out before you cross the finish line. What one change do you want to make to manage your energy and ensure you have a sustainable approach?

What To Do When Times Get Tough

Everyone hits bumps in the road. Johnson talked about one of his: an injury that kept him from competing. He had skipped some basic steps — consistent stretching and weight lifting — that would have prevented it. What basics do you need to keep in mind to ensure you are getting stronger each day and that you don’t get derailed from what’s most important? For me, it’s making time to reflect so that I can be more strategic, no matter how busy things get.

Another strategy is to simply notice what you have done well and the impact it has had on others. To do that, many of my clients have used an accomplishment log. Reading your log when you feel stuck or when times get tough will help you recognize how much progress you have made.

This week, think about what you can do to invest in your own resilience and long-term performance as a leader, by applying one of Michael's strategies. Read some of the media coverage of Johnson's talk for more inspiration.

How to Unplug on Vacation

I hope you have some fun vacation time planned this summer! And I hope you'll truly leave the office behind when you're away.  

Taking breaks to recharge is one of the best ways to enhance your productivity and performance. But you miss out on those benefits if you still feel tethered to work while you're on vacation.

If you're anxious about what might go wrong back at the office while you're gone, think about answers to these questions before you take time off.

• What do you need to feel OK about being off? Sometimes your team's actions can keep you tied to the office while you're on vacation. But sometimes it's your own mindset. What do you need to tell yourself so that you feel comfortable unplugging? Define for yourself what you need to feel calm while you're off and to turn your attention away from the office.

• What are the big gaps? What are you most concerned about falling through the cracks or not being handled during your vacation? What plans can you put in place now to deal with those potential trouble spots?

• How will you communicate? How often will you check email while you're off (if at all)? What merits a text or phone call to you, and what should your team members decide on their own? Establishing boundaries around communication will go a long way toward easing stress for both you and your team while you're off.

• What happens in a crisis? Who on your team has the authority to make big decisions in your absence? Or should they clear things with another leader with while you're gone? Your team should feel empowered and capable enough to handle most things on their own so that you're not drawn back into work when you should be recharging.

If you can't get away from the feeling that the sky is going to fall where you're gone, that's a deeper issue to deal with. Think about how you can do more to set your team up for success and growth. Here are some past articles that can help:

• Lead by Helping Others Grow

• The Balancing Act Between Teaching and Solving

• Put Your Coaching Skills to Work

"Building a Strong Team," one of the titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM, has more ideas you can use.

If you have vacation time coming up, use these tips to make the most of your opportunity to recharge — and your team's opportunity to step up and shine.

What Most People Forget Before Negotiating

Businesspeople in a meeting

Plenty has been written about how to come out ahead in negotiations. But there's a key step that doesn't receive much attention even though it can be the difference between getting what you want and walking away empty-handed.  

That "missing link" in the negotiations process is preparing for how you might get in your own way.

Asking for what you want can trigger fears or anxieties that work against you when you're negotiating. That's why it's worth taking time before your next negotiation to think about how you've reacted during similar situations in the past.

When someone pushes back during a negotiation, how do you typically respond? Some people sabotage themselves by backing down immediately. Others react too quickly, immediately firing back with counteroffers when they'd be better served by simply pausing and letting the silence work for them. And some get so focused on one option that they forget to generate other options that could lead to an agreement.

You might also get in your own way during a negotiation if you worry too much about what others will think of you or that you might damage the relationship. I once had a client who feared that her manager would think she was greedy for asking for a raise because she was already well-paid — even though she was notably underpaid relative to her peers.

Finally, if you tend to assume the worst, you may not even be willing to ask for what you really want. For example, another former client assumed that when she asked for a nontraditional work schedule that her company would simply tell her to leave if she wasn't happy. This kept her from noticing that her company was clearly willing to go to great lengths to retain a high performer like her.

Once you've identified how you might get in your own way, plan in advance the adjustments you’ll make. For example, you can decide now that if you start to back down in your negotiation for a raise, you'll pause, take a breath and remind yourself of all the ways you add value.

Every single client I have worked with to prepare for a negotiation, including both of the examples I mentioned, got everything they wanted in their negotiations. And you can, too.

To download our free tool “Preparing to Negotiate a Pay Increase”, complete the form below. And if you're in the Houston area, I'm speaking on "Negotiating for What You Want" for the Women's Energy Network Houston Chapter on May 18.

The Secret to More Energy Isn't What You Think

Happy business coworkers celebrating

You probably have some go-to strategies for when you need more energy, from listening to upbeat songs to squeezing in an extra workout to hitting your favorite coffee shop.  

Have you thought, though, about the energy you surround yourself with? The people we're around regularly have a huge effect on whether we feel lively and productive or depleted and crabby.

Researchers Rob Cross and Robert J. Thomas study how people succeed or fail based on their networks. They’ve found that "if those around you are enthusiastic, authentic, and generous, you will be, too. … Energizers bring out the best in everyone around them, and our data show that having them in your network is a strong predictor of success over time."

But Cross and Thomas also warn of de-energizers: "And our own research suggests that roughly 90% of anxiety at work is created by 5% of one’s network—the people who sap energy."

That's why I recommend taking an "energy audit" of the people in your life. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Who are the people you spend the most time around?

2. How does each person on that list affect your energy? Do you feel more energy or less after spending time with your boss (for example)? Or is she more of a neutral person?

3. What cumulative impact do these people have on your energy? Do the energizers counteract the energy drainers, or do you have an energy deficit?

With the results of your audit, you might decide to take one or both of the following actions to give yourself more energy.

1. Distance yourself from de-energizers. This has been a major change in my own life, especially during key periods where I know I need to maintain as much energy as I can. I've gotten a lot more selective about who's in my inner circle.

2. If you can't escape from someone who drains your energy, develop strategies for dealing with that person to protect and replenish your energy. If, for example, you have a colleague who's always negative, accept that she isn't capable of showing up with positivity. Knowing that, how do you want to engage with her? Can you limit your time with her or put a stop to her habit of swinging by your office every afternoon to complain? (This blog has some good strategies for dealing with a complainer.) What can you do before or after seeing this person to replace the energy she takes from you?

This week, pay attention to how others fuel or drain your energy. Surrounding yourself with people who bring out your best is key to your success. The small changes we've talked about here minimize the effects of the people who drag you down – and free up time to spend with people who fire you up.

I'll be speaking on how to get more energy on May 11 at a luncheon presented by the Plano Chamber of Commerce Women's Division. You can find additional tips in "Staying Engaged" and "Building a Powerful Network," two titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

Managing Stress When Work Goes Crazy

Over the past few months, I have found myself coaching several leaders facing major transitions and stress. Financial pressure has resulted in one or more rounds of restructuring. With fewer resources, achieving their business targets requires more from leaders who remain. With so much uncertainty in the environment, these leaders are often left wondering what will happen with their jobs, who else they will have to let go, and whether the company will still be a place where they want to work.  

If you find yourself in the midst of a similar situation or other big changes, your mind may be racing with thoughts like these:

There's too much going on. How much more can we really take on?

This is crazy! These changes don't make sense. How much will they really help?

How will my future be affected?

It would be a waste of time to bring forward my ideas right now — everyone is too distracted.

We’ve lost sight of who we are as a company in the midst of all this change.

Our leaders seem misaligned; we get conflicting messages.

Fear and uncertainty can increase your stress, keep you from engaging fully, or realizing that you can still have an impact no matter how out-of-control everything seems.

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3 Steps to Stop Negativity

Even the most optimistic leaders can have difficulty staying positive when operating in a high stress environment each day – especially if their bosses are also too overwhelmed to give them support.  If you find yourself rattled by stress and uncertainty, try one of these strategies:

Focus on what is certain (i.e., what isn't changing).

In times of upheaval, we tend to focus more on all the changes and unknowns and overlook what is constant. For example, even if your company alters some aspects of how it operates, the overarching values and priorities may still stay the same. Help your team notice these things to give them more stability.

Manage your energy.

Even if you can’t see an end in sight in the near term, minimize the impact of tough spots in your schedule — the tasks and events that you know will sap your energy — and make sure you proactively infuse some positive energy to fill the tank. That could mean a morning workout before a stressful meeting or a few quick, deliberate breaks throughout the day. Take a look at your own agenda for the week right now. What energy-drainers do you see? How can you counteract them? Even something as simple as packing some healthy snacks to keep you from hitting the vending machines during a late night at the office can make a big difference.

Build a support system.

Even if your boss can’t offer much support, connect with colleagues and other people with positive energy so you can lift each other up. When your own optimism drops, tap into the energy of this group to help you recharge and refocus on what is working.

Change is always going to be part of your work environment, but remember that you can take small steps every day to help you feel more centered and in control. You'll find more ideas on managing your energy during difficult times in "Staying Engaged," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

A Leadership Roadblock People Are Afraid to Share

Some high performers have a surprising blind spot.  

They excel in many areas. They advance and get raises. But a gap in their people skills holds them back from being as successful as they could be.

We're not talking about major tantrums or tirades here. Instead, a pattern emerges over time in their daily interactions. They become known for their harsh tone or words, for their lack of respect, for feedback that shames others instead of empowering them.

And they're not setting out to be bullies, either. High performers who fit this pattern usually aren't aware of these problem behaviors or their impact — both on their colleagues and on their own careers. Their intent is typically to deliver high-quality results, and to do it quickly.

As an executive coach, I see this issue more and more as resources shrink and stress grows at most workplaces. What’s worse is that most people feel too intimidated to give you the feedback that you need to notice and correct the behavior. To determine whether you need to further assess or adjust your leadership style, ask yourself these questions:

• How often do you deliver individual feedback in group settings? When you give team members negative feedback in front of others, it can embarrass them and erode the trust in your relationships. Wait until you have some one-on-one time.

• How consistently do you demonstrate respect with colleagues at all levels? Some people interact well with senior leaders and peers, but then take on a less respectful tone when they talk to their direct reports. Remember to model the behavior you expect from others.

• How often do people approach you in the hall or linger after meetings to talk? If this happens infrequently, it may be a sign to take a look at how you engage with others. Simply pay more attention to the other person’s body language and tone during your interaction.

• How often do others push back on your ideas? If everyone typically goes along with whatever you propose, that's not always a good thing. Rather, take a look at how comfortable people seem in voicing their feedback or ideas, especially ones that may be different than yours

• How often do you work more than 55 hours per week? When you work that much, the odds of you operating from a place of stress and exhaustion increase. This can deplete your patience, making it harder for you to communicate constructively.

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In answering those questions, did you discover any red flags that your style may be harsher than you intend? If so, there are a couple of steps you can take to course-correct.

When you're abrupt or disrespectful to others because of stress, step up your self-care. What can you do today to help maintain your energy — and sanity — while still accomplishing what you need to do? Start by evaluating how much sleep and rest you’re getting. If you’re running short of sleep, bump up your daily total by 15 minutes as a starting point. If you’re plowing through each day without stopping, even a one- or two-minute break here and there can do wonders.

Next, think about what you want to be known for — in other words, what you want your leadership brand to be — and examine how consistently your behavior reflects that. Check out the story of one of my past clients and how identifying her values as a leader helped her stop acting in ways that diminished others. You can also find more advice and ideas in my Leadership EDGE Series^SM booklet, "Building Executive Presence." Remember: You bring a lot of value, so don't let a harsh tone or demeanor take away from that.

Six Types of Difficult People and How to Deal with Them

We all encounter difficult people or situations that leave us frustrated, especially as we’re trying to get more done with fewer resources. Fortunately, you get to choose how you want to show up regardless of how others show up. Keeping this in mind can ground you and keep you centered when you need it most.  

Let's look at six common situations you might find yourself in with difficult people and some communication strategies for handling them. Customize your response for the situation at hand, but look at the intent of each suggested response below to help you find the words that work for you.

The Naysayer

Behavior: Always tells you why your ideas can't work.

How to respond: "I understand your concerns and appreciate your perspective. What would it take to make this idea work?"

The Complainer

Behavior: Has a knack for seeing the glass as half empty and complaining instead of resolving the problem.

How to respond: "Take five minutes to vent so you can get it all out, and then let’s focus on finding a solution." (NOTE: You may want to actually time it or look at your watch so you can convey that you're serious about it).

The Derailer

Behavior: Finds ways to distract others from the core issue at hand.

How to respond: "I appreciate your comment. Just so I’m clear, please help me understand how it ties to what we’re trying to accomplish?"

The Person Lost in the Weeds

Behavior: Gets bogged down in details and loses sight of what's really important.

How to respond: "Let's take a look at the bigger picture to make sure we’re considering the 'what' before we get into the 'how', and that we’re meeting our objectives."

The 'Yes' Person

Behavior: Creates a bottleneck by taking on too much and getting overwhelmed.

How to respond: "If you take on this work, how much time will it entail? How does that fit in with other priorities you already have? What support might you need?"

The Master Delegator

Behavior: Keeps sending things your way without considering your existing workload.

How to respond: "I understand that you want me to complete this additional project. How important is this relative to other things I am working on? What would you like me to put lower on the priority list, or push out further, to create capacity for this?"

Keep these communication strategies in mind as you go about your week — I’m sure you’ll find an opportunity to use at least one. You can learn more about how to convey credibility and get your ideas heard in "Communicating With Impact," part of my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

For Women's Day, Own Your Value — Then Share It

Observed since the early 1900s, this event celebrates the achievements of women and girls — and looks for more opportunities for progress.  

Check out the International Women's Day website for activities in your area. In Dallas, where Newberry Executive Solutions is based, former first lady Laura Bush will be part of the "Voices of Hope" event on March 8. I'm also excited about the graduation of the latest Women's Initiative Fellows Program class at the George W. Bush Institute the following day.

Memo: World Women´s Day

I started off my day by speaking at Ceridian’s global International Women's Day event.  I spoke about the power of recognizing your unique value and looking for ways to maximize your impact. And I want to challenge you to do the same, so that others can benefit from the value you bring.

As an executive coach who regularly works with high-performing women, I've seen that even accomplished leaders have trouble noticing what they bring to the table. I'll tell you what I tell my clients when they're having trouble seeing their own value: Think about how powerful it would be if someone else knew how to do what you do.

This is the first step to having impact on a larger scale. When you know how you make a difference, you can start identifying ways to amplify your contribution.

To help you get started with creating your own ripple effect, answer these questions:

• What results do you consistently deliver? Don’t worry about how easy it may be for you to get these results. When you’re using your core strengths, the work may not feel that difficult.

• How do those results that create value? In other words, how do they the impact others and the organization?

• How do you consistently get those results (i.e., how you accomplish what you do)? Break down what you do so that someone else can understand the essential steps, follow them and get similar outcomes. This makes the process repeatable and increases your impact. To map out the steps, try writing them down, drawing them out, or talking to someone about your process. Remember that these are your own personal best practices. ("Strategically Standing Out," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM, can help you zero in on what's helped you succeed in the past.)

Your answers to the questions above will have you well on your way to building more capability in others and magnifying your strengths.

Let me give you an example from my own business. In my work with executive coaching clients, I saw over and over that helping them implement small, seemingly simple steps or changes led to big results (e.g., over 65% of my clients get promoted). I have now taken the strategies that have proven successful with my clients and turned them into a variety of products, such as books and audio trainings, so that more people can put them to use. My products help spread my impact beyond the clients I work with directly. But I was only able to create them after clarifying what works, the process and tools I use time and again to get consistent results.

Doing the same thing for yourself is one of the most meaningful things you can do this International Women's Day. The issues facing women are complex, and there's no blanket solution, but I believe that individual shifts like these can be the start of powerful movements as we all inspire one another. Picture what would happen if every woman who thought she was "nothing special" started putting her unique gifts more fully into play into the world. Now that's something to celebrate.

6 Tips from LEAD 2016 That You Can Use Today

I just got back from the LEAD 2016 Conference and Awards in Nashville. Newberry Executive Solutions and Sysco Corporation received two awards for the results at Sysco for the WOW!Women On the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM: Winner’s Circle for the Best Executive Coaching and 3rd Place for Best Mentoring Program. We were up against some tough competition! Congratulations to my partners at Sysco, Sandra Carson and Raina Avalon, who are two amazing officers, leaders and role models making a difference every day.

I took much more away from this experience than awards and want to share leadership nuggets from some of the inspirational speakers:

1. Coach and author Devin C. Hughes: "Catch people doing awesome things every day. Don't underestimate the power of positive energy. It can be as simple as giving someone a 'high five.' Who will you 'high five' today?

2. Jim Kouzes, co-author of "The Leadership Challenge": Each day ask yourself, "How can I lead better tomorrow than a I did today?" Simply start strengthening your leadership by challenging yourself to improve a little each day.

3. Stephen M.R. Covey, CEO of Coveylink Worldwide: "Nothing is faster than the speed of trust (in getting results)." What are you doing to build trust each day?

4. Christine Ha the first blind "MasterChef USA" winner: "Always look for the intersection of passion, talent and opportunity to choose your vocation." You never know where it will lead you.

5. Bonnie St. John, the first African American Paralympic medalist in ski racing, shared a powerful diversity and inclusion exercise: Write down names of people who have impacted your life with their leadership. Then write down a list of people who would write your name down. Finally, examine the second list to see how diverse it is. How similar or different are they from you?

6. Tacy Byham, CEO of DDI: "Ladies, strike a power pose for two minutes before you have to go on stage to presnet. You will show up with more confidence."

How to Stay Grounded When Curveballs Come Your Way — Lessons From My Startup Journey

When I started Newberry Executive Solutions in 2008, I didn’t have a specific brand or company in mind that I wanted to emulate, but I did come from a company with a very strong brand – Deloitte. I learned a lot from my 14 years of consulting, coaching and leadership experience there. In particular, I understood the importance of consistently demonstrating value, living and breathing my company values and showing how my company was a leader in its field. When you do this, people will refer you business time and again because they know what to expect and know they can count on your company to get the job done well.

We all hit bumps in the road — those times when it feels hard to be an entrepreneur or to be in whatever role you hold. There are three key strategies that I leverage in my executive coaching work and that I still use for myself today.

• First, stop and remember what this business or role is really about for you. Tapping into the underlying passion that fueled the startup of your company or the pursuit of this career path is important. What are you really trying to accomplish?

• Next, get specific about what it would mean to achieve success. How would you be feeling? What would be happening? It’s important to write this out in detail and let yourself visualize it.

• Finally, surround yourself with people who can remind you of those things, when you cannot do it for yourself. It’s important to set this up in advance, before you hit an emotional dip, so people know when and how to help.

The nerve-racking headlines about the economy we're barraged with now remind me a lot of what was going on when I launched my business. I am a pretty confident person, but I wasn’t mentally prepared for the economy tanking just three months after I started my company. To help myself get over the anxiety I felt, I mapped out how much time I would give myself to be successful – and I defined what success would look like for different increments of time (three months, six months, nine months, one year, etc.). I also focused on just two or three steps at a time. This strategy of taking small steps and staying in the present (instead of the past or future), kept me from feeling overwhelmed by the task of launching a successful business that would develop strong business leaders and provide income comparable to or better than my income at Deloitte.

Fortunately, I didn’t have naysayers around me — because I chose to surround myself with people who have the right energy. Most people couldn’t imagine starting a company at the time I did it, but they didn’t discourage me. My family and friends know that it takes a lot for me to walk away from anything. So, please think about what kind of energy and support you need in your life, to maintain your passion and fuel your efforts. Those day-to-day messages and stories you tell yourself can be the difference between success and failure.

In 2008, I didn’t know I’d be relaunching my company two years later in 2010 in Dallas. These strategies, along with a few other simple ones, helped me double my business that year while retaining my original clients. And my business continues to grow. It’s been an unpredictable but exciting journey. Remember to enjoy every step of it.

Tap Into the Power of Passion to Create Your Ripple Effect

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When I left Deloitte, I was mentally and physically exhausted and knew I needed some space to figure out what was next. I am so grateful for each of my 14 years at that company, which helped me develop invaluable skills for the work I do today.  

As my wave of fatigue lifted in mid 2008, I began to reconnect with my passion and ultimately launched my leadership development company, right before the economy tanked. Yes, perfect timing! What I learned from building a business in a downturn is to never underestimate the power of passion. Not only does it fuel creativity, initiative and tenacity; it helps people overcome fear and roadblocks. When I started my company, I knew I wanted to use my experience and skills to have a bigger impact – to create a ripple effect. I just didn’t know exactly how. Today, I’m doing it, and my company continues to grow and have a broader reach.

But I’m certainly not the only one. Every day, I see people who want to make a difference in the lives of others, regardless of whether they are recognized for doing so.

For example, I recently attended a screening of an independent film called "I Dream Too Much." This was especially meaningful to me because I facilitated a strategy session with the team that made this movie a reality, The Pantheon of Women. The team reached out to me very early in their process, as they were strategizing about how to best use their passion for portraying women and girls differently in the media.

Pantheon of Women includes the CEO of a chemical company, a successful attorney and other successful businesswomen with limited experience in filmmaking. Despite this, their passion ignited their resourcefulness and they assembled a strong creative team to help them make it happen. Now they have a successful film to show for it, and are well on their way to making their second one. I was so excited to see "I Dream Too Much" with my dear friend Donna Cole, one of the key leaders who brought it to fruition.

As you go back to your day, think about one small step you can take to create a ripple effect. Perhaps it’s simply lifting someone else up, providing some words of encouragement or advice or moving forward on an idea you have been sitting on. And remember, small steps lead to big results.

3 Tips for Reaching Your Goals

If you haven’t already, it’s time to look forward and get specific about what you want out of this year. If you haven’t already done so, take time this week to get started. I’ve got three quick tips to help you:  

1. Keep it simple.

How do you want to stretch yourself? Remember not to overload yourself and choose just ONE area to focus on. Whether your goal is personal or professional, make it about getting the right work done. What does that mean? The "right work" is work that makes the highest and best use of your talents and that has the biggest impact.  Keep in mind that 20 percent of your effort typically yields 80 percent of your results.

2. Define the first step.

If you bog yourself down with coming up with the entire plan to reach your goal, you’ll never get started. Start by defining the first step that you will take to move forward in achieving your goal. Taking even one simple step will start building the momentum you need to keep going.

3. Find a supporter.

Accountability is critical to sticking with your goal, so don't go it alone. Whom will you tell about your goal by the end of this week, so that person can help you stay focused on it even when things get busy or tough?

Whatever goal you set, remember you can return to this blog to find ideas and resources to keep you motivated. When you're ready to invest in yourself even more powerfully, check out our products for both individuals and organizations to keep you moving toward the results you desire. Remember, I'm cheering for you in the background (can you see me?) – and that even seemingly small steps lead to big changes.

Top 5 Gifts That Raise Your Game [neena review]

5. Why Your Underperformer Isn't Changing

This year's No. 5 post deals with a common frustration for leaders. It also brings up a topic you'll see again on this list: the importance of honest and specific feedback

Give yourself the gift of pausing. When an employee is stuck in underperformance, take a few minutes to look at your mindset and what role you might be playing. How can you shift the way you show up with the employee in a way that will help you work together toward a solution? Learning more about effective feedback may also take some stress out of the situation for you. "Building a Strong Team," part of my Leadership EdgeSM series, has more tips on giving feedback.

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4. Early Morning Habits of Successful People

Are you resolving to become a morning person in 2016? This blog post lays out some compelling reasons for rising early.

Give yourself the gift of being intentional. Getting up earlier will give you time to review your priorities and set a plan for the day. Need help identifying the areas where you can make the most impact? Try the strategies in the Getting the Right Work Done module in the WOW! Women on the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM.

3. How to Communicate Negative Stuff in a Positive Way

The same message can come off as negative ("I’m bored or frustrated in this job.") or positive ("I want to more fully utilize my skills to support the business and have a bigger impact."). It all depends on how you frame it.

Give yourself the gift of clarity. When you get clear about what a situation is really about for you, you can communicate about it in a more positive way. Don't assume that others know what's motivating you to voice concerns. Instead, help them see that you're dedicated to the bigger picture. For more tips, check out our Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklet on "Communicating with Impact."

2. Making Awkward Feedback Easier

This is the second post about feedback that really struck a chord with readers this year. It gives some advice about an especially tricky kind of feedback: Talking with an employee who has a behavior, habit or mannerism that isn't affecting her performance, but is damaging how people perceive her.

Give yourself the gift of transparency. Simply acknowledging that this conversation is an awkward one for both of you can go a long way toward defusing the tension. In addition to the tips on feedback you can find in the Leadership EdgeSM series and the WOW!  ProgramSM, you can also get ongoing support for your leadership challenges through our executive coaching offerings.

1. Crazy Day? Here's How to Get Centered

As packed as our days are, it's no surprise that this post was the most popular one of the year. And it's timely reading during the hectic holiday season. One tip from this article may come in just as handy at your family gatherings as it does at the office: Think about the people or situations that set off negative emotions you have trouble letting go of. Then decide how you want to show up when you encounter them. Taking just a few minutes to mentally rehearse your response can make a big difference.

Give yourself the gift of self-care. When you take care of your own basic needs, it's a lot easier to stay calm and centered when things are chaotic around you. Set reminders to take a few deep-breathing breaks during the day or shift your routine so that you can get more sleep. To satisfy your need for personal development and enrichment, you don't have to wait until your schedule calms down. (When does that ever happen anyway?) My WOW! Highlight AudioSM delivers quick but powerful lessons on leadership that you can listen to any time you have a spare moment and put to use immediately.

Be generous to yourself and others this holiday season by putting at least one of these ideas into play. And remember small steps can lead to big results.

What’s Your Ripple Effect?

What excites me the most as an executive coach is the ripple effect that just one person can create. When I work with one leader in a company, I love seeing not only how things change for her but also how she takes what she learns to lift others up and create even more positive change throughout her company.  

As I invest more of my time in the nonprofit world, I am also inspired by what I see happening there. Change starts when a committed person, or a handful of people, sees a need and commits to addressing it. As we enter this season of giving, I wanted to tell you about some dedicated people I know who are creating powerful ripple effects — and to remind you of your own potential to make an impact.

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I recently visited Vogel Alcove, which is changing the lives of homeless children in Dallas. A child isn’t typically the first image most of us envision when we think about homelessness, but the numbers are astounding. Vogel Alcove started in 1985 when members of the Social Action Committee of Congregation Shearith Israel visited a homeless shelter and were moved to take action. That led to a coalition of other Jewish congregations and organizations in Dallas. From those roots, Vogel Alcove has gone on to help more than 13,000 children.

I also recently joined the advisory board for Akola, a nonprofit that empowers women through holistic development. Research shows that when women thrive, communities thrive. The roots of Akola go back to founder Brittany Merrill Underwood's college days, when she began to learn about poverty in Uganda. Through her work there, Brittany met women who were caring for 10 or more children in their homes. She saw how providing a reliable income for those women transformed their families and communities. Akola teaches women a marketable skill, to make jewelry that's then sold online and through retail partners. The project has been so successful that the Akola model expanded in 2014 to the US to help sex-trafficking victims in Dallas.

With each of these organizations, I'm in awe of the ripple effect that their founders have created. They remind us of the tremendous difference we can all make. And that's my challenge for you today: What's the ripple effect you want to start right now, in your community or your company? What opportunities do you see around you? You can simply start by taking one small step, and then committing to taking one more step after you’ve completed that one.  Whether or not you’ve had a transformative experience like Brittany's, you do have the ability to create an even bigger ripple effect.

I also want to invite you to explore our resources, packed with strategies to help you and your team to amplify your impact. You don't have to solve all the world's problems — or even all your company's.  But you can commit to being more deliberate about the ripple effect you want to create.

Why Can't I Get Over This?

Have you ever caught yourself wondering why you can’t get over a setback, a mistake (yours or someone else's), a conflict or a big change?  

Sometimes we easily shrug off frustrations or difficulties. Other times, they really get under our skin. We may stay stuck in frustration even as we push ourselves to move forward and be more resilient.

I’ve found that people often misunderstand resilience. It doesn't mean that we will move past roadblocks effortlessly or just have to find a way to survive them. Instead, true resilience requires delving into our thoughts and feelings and taking a look at successes and failures – so we can learn from them and make different choices.

Recently, I worked with an executive coaching client to help her navigate through a tough situation. Someone at her office “threw her under the bus” in a meeting by doing exactly the opposite of what he had committed to doing. Not only did his behavior fall short of my client’s expectations, it also felt dishonest and disrespectful.

She kept telling herself, "Fine, it happened. I’m not happy about it. But I need to just get over it." Instead of allowing herself to fully explore her feelings, she kept trying to set them aside like they didn’t matter. As you might expect, she just couldn’t. She kept replaying the scenario in her head again and again. Does this sound familiar? When you are stuck in anger or frustration for days, it’s typically an indicator that a core value that you hold near and dear is involved. By taking the time to identify which specific value was violated (in this case, honesty) instead of ignoring it, my client figured out how to work through this challenging situation. She gave the other party constructive feedback about what happened and how it affected her, which finally allowed her to move on.

To help her further develop her resilience, we used a simple two-step process. Here's how it works.

Step 1: Increase Your Self-Awareness

Although it might seem counterintuitive, it’s important to ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" Let it all out, uncensored. It's OK to feel how you feel, even if you're not feeling very kind in that moment! Acknowledging and naming your emotions, whatever they are, will go a long way toward helping you process them.

The next question to ask yourself is "What am I thinking?" Are you falling into any thinking traps, such as assuming you know what others are thinking or downplaying positives while exaggerating negatives? Notice the story you are telling yourself about what happened in this situation.  Take a few minutes to write your specific thoughts and feelings down. It may help you make connections you otherwise might not notice.

Next, ask yourself "How am I framing the situation?" For example, maybe you're framing a colleague's lack of enthusiasm for your idea as dismissive or disrespectful.  Look at the evidence to better understand how you're interpreting the situation, and whether or not it is accurate.  You might realize that your colleague’s behavior had nothing to do with you.

Step 2: Make a Different Choice

Once you’ve identified your feelings and thoughts, and how they are helping or getting in your way, you will notice more options in front of you.  And remember that you get to decide how you want to show up in this situation, regardless of how others are showing up. You may still decide to let all your frustration go and just move on, but that's very different than just "sucking it up" and repressing your feelings.  By treating yourself with compassion and by gaining more insight about yourself and others, it will serve you well. You'll also be a lot happier and more effective without those repressed feelings threatening to bubble up at any moment.

This week, give yourself a little more space to process any setbacks, changes or frustrations that come your way. Take time to notice what you’re thinking and feeling — it's the first step toward true resilience. And remember, that small steps can lead to big results.

Planning for Next Year?

As the year winds down, arm yourself and your team with easy-to-use, high impact tools. Check out our products (including the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets and Show Up. Step Up. Step Out) to start getting results immediately without breaking the budget.

The Secret to Creating an Engaged, Committed Team

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What's the No. 1 leadership quality when it comes to engaging employees? Providing lots of feedback? Inspiring them constantly with your vision? Implementing generous recognition or training programs?  

Actually, it's something much simpler. In her research, Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business, found that treating employees with respect trumps all else.

"No other leadership behavior had a bigger effect on employees across the outcomes we measured," she writes in Harvard Business Review.

My own experiences as an executive coach echo her findings. Treating your team members with respect takes employee loyalty and engagement to a whole new level. Here are three ideas for infusing your work style with more respect.

Respect the Roles that Others Play

One of my clients works with a boss who micromanages her. But he doesn't stop there — he also micromanages employees a couple of levels below her. As you'd expect, it's driving everyone crazy.

Although his intent is positive (to help drive high quality work and provide input and guidance), his style indirectly conveys disrespect for the knowledge and expertise his team members bring to the table, as well as their roles. As a result, his direct reports feel mistrusted because he doesn’t allow them to do their jobs without his constant intervention and input.

Sometimes letting go can be difficult, so try some of these ideas to help your team members grow by delegating with development in mind. Just remember that when you give employees the leeway to figure out how to tackle their work, they typically gain more confidence and develop skills faster (not to mention the fact that it takes work off your plate when you decide not to get so involved). They may make some mistakes along the way, but that will also accelerate their learning.

Choose the Right Setting for Feedback

How and where you give feedback often matters just as much as the feedback itself. Giving negative feedback in a group setting, whether it’s a meeting or conference call, can leave the recipient feeling embarrassed and disrespected (and her level of respect for you might drop a couple of notches, too). This doesn't mean you should hold back on giving feedback. Just choose the right time and place, and deliver it in a way that conveys how much you want to help the individual be successful.

Watch Your Tone

Although most of us know that little things can affect executive presence in big ways, we may not stop to think about it for ourselves. Leaders are always in the “invisible spotlight.” As you contemplate your communication style, think about how much respect you convey with your tone of voice and body language. To get a better sense, notice how others respond to you. In particular, pay attention to how often your team members seek true coaching and advice vs. approval (there is a difference, so don’t mistake one for the other). Remember that if employees don't feel respected, they may still comply with your requests — they just won’t have a strong level of commitment, which is key to taking performance and results above and beyond.

This week, look for opportunities to put at least one of these three strategies into action. And remember that respect is just one part of helping your team members achieve their best results. You can find many more strategies in "Building a Stronger Team," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM booklets.