4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over

Meditation in office

The end of the third quarter is a great time to think about maintaining or even boosting your energy for the rest of the year. No one wants to feel drained and burned out a few weeks from now when they’re supposed to be filled with holiday cheer. But that can happen when you constantly push yourself without taking time to refill your tank. As high performers, we can easily fall into this trap.

You probably already know what helps you stay centered and energized. The trick is integrating those healthy practices into your busy life. Here are a few ideas that can help you get there.

Sleep

How many conversations have you had with co-workers lately about how little sleep you're all getting — or how much coffee you need to get through the day? That's not a badge of honor. A lack of sleep decimates your productivity. The CDC has even declared that widespread sleep deprivation is a public health problem. What one step can you take today to give yourself more time for some much-needed rest? How about getting to bed 15 minutes earlier tonight or putting your technology away sooner so your mind can unwind from the day (and you can get more restful sleep)?

Get Moving (Even a Little)

If you're tempted to skip your workout when things get busy, remember that exercise is the best thing you can do for your brain. When you keep your body moving, you're more creative and confident, you learn faster and you get sick less often. If you're an "all or nothing" perfectionist about exercise, cut yourself some slack. Yes, your week might be too busy to fit in a long workout or your usual number of runs or exercise classes, but most people can carve out 10-15 minutes for some physical activity. And even a few minutes of exercise can have real benefits. Just get started.

Tap into the Power of a Pause

We're always doing — but when's the last time you paused just to be? You've probably read about all the benefits of meditation, including reduced stress and a stronger immune system. You may also be assuming, though, that meditation will never fit it into your tight schedule. But, as with exercise, every little bit helps when it comes to mindfulness. One of my favorite tools to get centered and bring myself back to the present moment is diaphragmatic breathing: Inhale to a count of 3, exhale to a count of 6. You should feel your belly rising when you breathe, not your chest. This simple practice is enough to trigger your body's relaxation response, and you can even do it in meetings without sounding like Darth Vader!

Experience Nature’s Magic

It's amazing what a few brief minutes outside to appreciate the nature’s beauty can do for your stress level. Researchers have found that walking in nature protects us from depression by helping us stop obsessing about whatever's bothering us. A nature break also helps us focus when we do go back to our work. So find a good spot and take a 10-minute stroll to give your productivity an energy boost. If you absolutely can't get away from your desk, even looking at photos of nature can reduce your stress.

This week, identify one action you’d like to take – whether it’s implementing one of these strategies or one that has worked well for you in the past. You should see results quickly. For more ideas on how to thrive personally and professionally, check out my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." You can download five free chapters now.

3 Keys to Effective Team Communication

man and woman working

Do you ever feel like you spend most of your days communicating with your direct reports or others who need your support? It's a huge task, and it can affect your productivity if it takes too much time away from the “right work.” It also affects your team's productivity if they have trouble getting the information and feedback they need from you.  

Whether you're establishing practices with a new team or course-correcting with an existing team, you can manage communications in a way that respects everyone's time while still ensuring that essential information gets shared.

Maximize Meetings

One of the keys to effective team communication is setting a regular cadence of group and individual meetings.

For group meetings, get your team's input on frequency and what topics would be a worthwhile use of the team’s time. We all have plenty of meetings to go to already, so before you add new ones, make sure each has a well-defined purpose and that a team meeting is really the best way to serve that purpose.

  Group meetings work well if you need to share information across the team, get input or make important decisions. They can keep people from operating in silos and understand how what they do affects the team as a whole. On the other hand, status update meetings — which can eat up so much time— may not make the best use of the entire team’s time.

Use a clear agenda to clearly communicate the objectives and timeframe for each topic and keep the meeting on track.

Customize One-on-Ones

How often you schedule and approach one-on-ones may vary with different team members. With each team member, think about how hands-on he wants you to be — or how hands-on you feel that you need to be. How long has the team member been in his role, and how much coaching and support does he require from you? Experienced employees might need fewer meetings and less involvement.

Don't take your high performers for granted, though. Some leaders don’t invest much time with high performers because they are so self-sufficient. But everyone needs feedback, recognition and some degree of guidance.

Set Guidelines

When should team members call you, and when is it OK just to send an email? What warrants setting up a special one-on-one, and what should be discussed in team meetings? You and your team members may have very different ideas about the answers to those questions. So, take time to clarify the most effective ways to communicate, to reduce confusion and stay productive.

This week, review the communication practices and habits that are already in place for your team. What might you change or improve? For additional communication strategies to help you in any situation, pick up a copy of my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." You can download five free chapters now.

Setting the Tone with a New Team

Asian Businesswoman Leading Meeting At Boardroom Table

One of my executive coaching clients didn't know what to make of the new team he was leading. They kept coming to him to ask for approval and guidance on things he felt they should be able to handle. What was going on here?  

Your first days as the leader of a new team — or serving in a leadership role such as project manager — set the stage for your working relationship over the long term. So it's important to communicate clearly and set a positive tone from the start.

These strategies helped my client better understand and work more effectively with his new team, and may help you the next time you're in a similar situation.

Get the Background

When you're leading a new team, one of the first things to do is to get a sense of the leadership style that they're used to. Ask about what the previous leader was like and how she worked with the team. In my client's case, he discovered that his predecessor was very hands-on and wanted to be involved with day-to-day decisions. My client's approach is totally different, so it's no wonder he felt surprised by how this team engaged him.

Manage Short- and Long-Term Expectations

The way that you operate at the outset of leading a new team might not be the same way you want to handle things over the long haul. For example, it's natural to focus on details and be more involved than you would normally be as you take on a new role. Remember, though, that your team is looking for clues about how you'll lead and may assume you'll always want to manage them closely. Give them a sense of where things are headed. You could say something like "I am more focused on diving into details now as I’m learning more about the team’s work and scope, but I'll back off over time."

Make Your Intent Clear

Let your team know how you like to work and communicate. Don't assume they should "just know," especially if the past leader had a very different style. Help them understand why you lead the way that you do. For example, my client explained to his new team that his style was more hands-off because his goal was to help them grow by giving them more responsibility and exposure and helping them develop new skills in a way they hadn't before.

Be Consistent

After you explain your intent, back it up with your actions. This will help build your team's sense of certainty about what to expect from you and what success looks like.

If you'll be leading a new team soon, take some time this week to get a head start by using these questions. To continue on the right track, pick up "Building a Strong Team," part of the Leadership EdgeSM series.

What Would It Take to Make You Unstoppable?

definition of unstoppable

Every now and then, I have an article pour out of my head. Today is one of those days. I’m about to launch a new app, and that’s what I should be working on during my three-hour flight. Instead, I’m writing this article. I’m trusting my gut that I should be doing this instead of being productive in other ways.  

I have been on an amazing journey over the past few months, really exploring how I can take things to the next level – for clients, my business and myself.  And I’m about to cross my next threshold.

It fills me with excitement and fear because I realize how much it means to me. At this stage of the game, it’s all about pursuing my passion — helping people really see who they are, truly own it and bring it in a much more powerful way to achieve unprecedented results —and it’s far less about hitting any type of financial target for myself. I am ready to have an even bigger impact, to create a huge ripple effect.

At times that feels daunting. When you feel like a lot is at stake, it can make you stop dead in your tracks. So, what does it take to keep moving forward, to be unstoppable? This hasn’t been an easy question to answer (especially as someone who’s been molded by the corporate world), and the answers may surprise you because they’re not focused on tactics like time management.

Get Out Of Your Head and Into Your Body

First, get out of your head and into your body. Regular exercise has been part of my life for at least 30 years, and continues to be a great way for me to relieve stress – whether it’s being outside playing baseball and basketball with my son, hiking somewhere or working out at the gym.

But this year, I’ve tapped into another way to get out of my head and into my body  – dancing.

Just cranking up a song that I love to dance to, whether it’s when no one is looking or when I’m driving my car, makes me smile and fill up with energy in less than five minutes. Yes, I often dance around like there’s no tomorrow (some of you have witnessed it – fortunately or unfortunately?). And, even better, I frequently start my day with a dance-athon in the kitchen with my son as we make breakfast. These simple moments of just being in your body fill you up with the energy you need to keep moving forward.

Get the Right Messages

Some of the most important words you need to hear will come from you – the everyday messages and stories you tell yourself. Notice what those are, write them down and replace them with more empowering ones. This takes practice, but it works.

You can also leverage the power of a song to pump you up. I recently came across a song by Sia called "Unstoppable." It has some of those key words that I need to hear when I feel stuck, and I listened to it as I wrote this article today.

Also be strategic about whom you allow in your core circle. That group affects your energy more than you realize. Over the past year, I have deliberately added more passionate, motivated people focused on making a difference and leaving a legacy. It has been so energizing. When you need that extra boost, your core circle will help keep you grounded and give you the encouragement you need in the way that you need to hear it.

Just Be

Being vs. doing?! Yes, this is one of the most powerful strategies of all so pay attention. A Type A personality like me (and most of my clients) can get so focused on charging ahead, especially when I’m focused on something I really care about. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forged ahead and then hit a roadblock. Sometimes, I simply don’t understand what’s keeping me from moving ahead. In the past, I would have tried to analyze it or just pushed even harder.

Now, I do the exact opposite. I focus far more on being more present and open, by meditating or simply taking a break. It helps slow me down and notice the lesson I should be taking from what’s happening.  Every single time it helps me move forward faster, despite my fear that I’m losing precious time. Simply trust that things are happening for you, and that all you need to do is be more present to notice it.

I want to challenge you to try one of these strategies this week. You may be surprised by the results. I know I have been – and I’m achieving more than I ever imagined.

Where to Start When You're Ready to Grow

Growth

To stay successful, you have to invest in your own professional and personal development. As you do, though, it's important to make sure that the investment you're making is the right one for you.

I'm winding down a busy time in my life when I put a lot of time and money into a leadership program. It served as an impetus to make more time to focus on my goals, and to surround myself with a motivated peer group interested in growing and taking things to the next level. As I got deeper into my program, though, I realized that it wasn't teaching me any "secrets" I didn't already know. And the heavy travel and long hours were taking a personal toll on me and time out of my life that I wanted to use for other things.

So I canceled my trips for the last two conferences, and am continuing with investing in an executive coach for myself. I'm coming away from the experience with a critical reminder: We don't always have to look outward for the answers. Sometimes we just need to create capacity to leverage what we know.

At times my executive coaching clients think they need new or different ideas to keep moving forward. But I remind them that they already possess a gold mine of strategies and insights based on their experiences. Together, we tap into the wisdom that they already have (their personal best practices) and then determine if we need to supplement it.

When you want to grow and take things to the next level, start by defining the outcome you want to achieve before you brainstorm options to accomplish it. As you identify different ways to achieve your outcome, don’t overlook the importance of exploring what you already know before you sign up for something else. Try this simple, three-step process to access your own wisdom before you seek answers elsewhere.

Training programs and other development opportunities can help you get clear on who you are and who you aren't, and expand your network. To make the most of them, be intentional about what you want to get out of them and how you’ll apply what you learn to build on what you already know. And if you want that extra boost to help you take action, consider working with a coach.

If there are skills and knowledge you'd like to build, explore our products and services. You'll find options that fit your needs, whether you're looking for an in-depth program or quick-hit strategies from books, audio training or videos.

3 Keys to Catching Up After Vacation

Commercial jet flying above clouds.

Time away from work does wonders to help you recharge, keep things in perspective, and show up at your best. I recommend unplugging as much as you can while you're off.

The flip side of taking a break, though, is that feeling of being overwhelmed when you return to the office. That happened to me in a big way this summer. I had a week back home between two major international trips, and — wouldn't you know it? — I got sick during that time.     When I finally did get back to work, I was buried in emails and projects I was behind on. Here are the three strategies that helped me manage my stress and conquer the backlog.

1. Set Some Priorities

When you go back to work after a break, there's so much going on that it can be hard to know what to do first. If your mind is churning over everything on your to-do list, you might get overwhelmed and paralyze yourself into inaction. Remember that you don't have to do everything immediately. Start by identifying the top two or three things you should tackle first — where you can have the biggest impact. Once you get those done, you can worry about the next three.

1. Manage Your Energy

You just "refilled your tank" with some energy, so you don't want to drain it again in your first couple of days back at work! Even if you feel pressure to get caught up, take breaks. Don’t forget that the quality of the break matters much more than the quantity of time you spend taking it. Five minutes every hour and a half can do the trick (energy peaks and valleys go in 90-minute cycles). Even work you usually love can feel stressful if you're trying to slog through too much of it at once. Research shows that people who work 60-70 hours a week don’t have higher productivity. So, be mindful not to let fatigue set in because even simple tasks can take much longer to complete. Get that much-needed rest through breaks and a good night’s sleep.

1. Remember What Works For You

You probably already have some go-to time management or productivity strategies that consistently get results for you. But when we feel overwhelmed or stressed, our best practices can go straight out the window. Before you dive back into work, think about what has worked well for you in the past to get through hectic times. How can you put at least one or two of those practices into play now?

Keep these tips handy for the next time you return from time off. Some small steps in the right direction can make catching up a lot easier and keep that post-vacation glow going just a little longer. You'll find more tips on always being at your best in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens."  

Vulnerability as a Leadership Tool

brene-cc-880x1320

Recently, I had the chance to see Brené Brown speak about her well-known book, "Daring Greatly." She talked about vulnerability, which she defines as allowing yourself to be "seen" when the outcome is uncertain.  

This really resonated with me, especially since I coach executives on how to show up with authenticity and strength. Putting yourself "out there" can inspire others to do the same.

It doesn't always mean you have to take a massive leap into uncertainty. For example, sometimes vulnerability is allowing others to give you input and acknowledging that you don't have all the answers. Instead, you are relying on your team to find the answers with you.

I was coaching a client who shared how much he admired the way his boss showed vulnerability. He had no idea that he was doing the same, and that he had mastered it. His team viewed him as a strong leader because of his willingness to put himself out there as someone who doesn't know it all.

What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?

Brown also talked about the stories we tell ourselves — especially when we are vulnerable and things don't go our way. She explained that the brain looks for a story to make sense of things when something difficult happens. In fact, the brain chemically rewards the story, even if it is incorrect.

So be mindful of what you are telling yourself. Use powerful questions — like "What else could be going on?" or "What does the evidence really tell me?" — to help you take a broader view. Ask others who will be candid with you for input and perspective. My son is 10 years old, and we already do this together. It's never too early or too late to start.

Feedback and Appreciation: Our Best Advice

Group of friends showing feedback on speech bubble

Feedback and appreciation are some of the most requested topics. Here is a collection on giving feedback.

• Why is it so hard to give feedback? If you struggle with giving candid performance feedback, take a look at your mindset.

• Making awkward feedback easier.Have you been putting off talking to an employee about a behavior, habit or mannerism that's giving people the wrong impression of him? This article can help.

• Fast, easy ways to recognize employees. Giving more praise and appreciation doesn't have to be time-consuming.

• The two-part feedback formula. This process can take a lot of the emotional charge out of giving feedback.

• Feedback and respect. Respect is closely tied to job satisfaction. And the setting you choose for delivering feedback can convey respect or disrespect.

• Develop others (without draining yourself). Sometimes the team members who need the most feedback are the very ones who sap your energy.

• Directness is key. If you shy away from telling team members what's holding them back, you're ultimately hurting them.

• Lead by helping your team grow. One of leaders' main jobs is developing others. Feedback is part of that process.

• How to help a 'stuck' employee. Have you ever been frustrated with a team member who isn’t performing as you need — and who’s showing no signs of changing?

• The power of celebrating successes. It's essential to do this for your team members — and for yourself!

You can learn much more about giving feedback and other ways to help your team succeed in my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out. Leadership Through a New Lens." Follow the link to download five free chapters!

Leadership Lessons from an Olympic Athlete

m_johnson_s

As you may know, I’m a huge supporter of United Way and have been volunteering with this organization for years. At a recent United Way Tocqueville event in Dallas, I had the rare opportunity to hear Olympic gold medalist Michael Johnson speak. As he shared what he had learned from his years of competition in the 200- and 400-meter sprints, I realized how much of what he said applies to leadership – especially to the high performers that I coach.  

Be Better Today Than You Were Yesterday

Sometimes we forget how much we can achieve by taking small steps. In the Olympics, shaving off a fraction of a second can be the difference between winning the gold medal or not — when you won't get another shot for four years. In both your professional and persona lives, taking even five minutes to stop and think about one small thing you can do better than you did yesterday can have a huge impact over time. I’m sure you’ve heard me say by now how small steps can lead to big results.

Have a Race Strategy

Even though sprints are for short distances, they still require careful thought and planning. In the workplace, it can be easy to tell yourself you can tolerate some things for a while, even when you are working crazy hours. When was the last time you sat back and thought about how you really want to achieve your goals? An “all out” strategy may burn you out before you cross the finish line. What one change do you want to make to manage your energy and ensure you have a sustainable approach?

What To Do When Times Get Tough

Everyone hits bumps in the road. Johnson talked about one of his: an injury that kept him from competing. He had skipped some basic steps — consistent stretching and weight lifting — that would have prevented it. What basics do you need to keep in mind to ensure you are getting stronger each day and that you don’t get derailed from what’s most important? For me, it’s making time to reflect so that I can be more strategic, no matter how busy things get.

Another strategy is to simply notice what you have done well and the impact it has had on others. To do that, many of my clients have used an accomplishment log. Reading your log when you feel stuck or when times get tough will help you recognize how much progress you have made.

This week, think about what you can do to invest in your own resilience and long-term performance as a leader, by applying one of Michael's strategies. Read some of the media coverage of Johnson's talk for more inspiration.

How to Unplug on Vacation

I hope you have some fun vacation time planned this summer! And I hope you'll truly leave the office behind when you're away.  

Taking breaks to recharge is one of the best ways to enhance your productivity and performance. But you miss out on those benefits if you still feel tethered to work while you're on vacation.

If you're anxious about what might go wrong back at the office while you're gone, think about answers to these questions before you take time off.

• What do you need to feel OK about being off? Sometimes your team's actions can keep you tied to the office while you're on vacation. But sometimes it's your own mindset. What do you need to tell yourself so that you feel comfortable unplugging? Define for yourself what you need to feel calm while you're off and to turn your attention away from the office.

• What are the big gaps? What are you most concerned about falling through the cracks or not being handled during your vacation? What plans can you put in place now to deal with those potential trouble spots?

• How will you communicate? How often will you check email while you're off (if at all)? What merits a text or phone call to you, and what should your team members decide on their own? Establishing boundaries around communication will go a long way toward easing stress for both you and your team while you're off.

• What happens in a crisis? Who on your team has the authority to make big decisions in your absence? Or should they clear things with another leader with while you're gone? Your team should feel empowered and capable enough to handle most things on their own so that you're not drawn back into work when you should be recharging.

If you can't get away from the feeling that the sky is going to fall where you're gone, that's a deeper issue to deal with. Think about how you can do more to set your team up for success and growth. Here are some past articles that can help:

• Lead by Helping Others Grow

• The Balancing Act Between Teaching and Solving

• Put Your Coaching Skills to Work

"Building a Strong Team," one of the titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM, has more ideas you can use.

If you have vacation time coming up, use these tips to make the most of your opportunity to recharge — and your team's opportunity to step up and shine.

What Most People Forget Before Negotiating

Businesspeople in a meeting

Plenty has been written about how to come out ahead in negotiations. But there's a key step that doesn't receive much attention even though it can be the difference between getting what you want and walking away empty-handed.  

That "missing link" in the negotiations process is preparing for how you might get in your own way.

Asking for what you want can trigger fears or anxieties that work against you when you're negotiating. That's why it's worth taking time before your next negotiation to think about how you've reacted during similar situations in the past.

When someone pushes back during a negotiation, how do you typically respond? Some people sabotage themselves by backing down immediately. Others react too quickly, immediately firing back with counteroffers when they'd be better served by simply pausing and letting the silence work for them. And some get so focused on one option that they forget to generate other options that could lead to an agreement.

You might also get in your own way during a negotiation if you worry too much about what others will think of you or that you might damage the relationship. I once had a client who feared that her manager would think she was greedy for asking for a raise because she was already well-paid — even though she was notably underpaid relative to her peers.

Finally, if you tend to assume the worst, you may not even be willing to ask for what you really want. For example, another former client assumed that when she asked for a nontraditional work schedule that her company would simply tell her to leave if she wasn't happy. This kept her from noticing that her company was clearly willing to go to great lengths to retain a high performer like her.

Once you've identified how you might get in your own way, plan in advance the adjustments you’ll make. For example, you can decide now that if you start to back down in your negotiation for a raise, you'll pause, take a breath and remind yourself of all the ways you add value.

Every single client I have worked with to prepare for a negotiation, including both of the examples I mentioned, got everything they wanted in their negotiations. And you can, too.

To download our free tool “Preparing to Negotiate a Pay Increase”, complete the form below. And if you're in the Houston area, I'm speaking on "Negotiating for What You Want" for the Women's Energy Network Houston Chapter on May 18.

The Secret to More Energy Isn't What You Think

Happy business coworkers celebrating

You probably have some go-to strategies for when you need more energy, from listening to upbeat songs to squeezing in an extra workout to hitting your favorite coffee shop.  

Have you thought, though, about the energy you surround yourself with? The people we're around regularly have a huge effect on whether we feel lively and productive or depleted and crabby.

Researchers Rob Cross and Robert J. Thomas study how people succeed or fail based on their networks. They’ve found that "if those around you are enthusiastic, authentic, and generous, you will be, too. … Energizers bring out the best in everyone around them, and our data show that having them in your network is a strong predictor of success over time."

But Cross and Thomas also warn of de-energizers: "And our own research suggests that roughly 90% of anxiety at work is created by 5% of one’s network—the people who sap energy."

That's why I recommend taking an "energy audit" of the people in your life. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Who are the people you spend the most time around?

2. How does each person on that list affect your energy? Do you feel more energy or less after spending time with your boss (for example)? Or is she more of a neutral person?

3. What cumulative impact do these people have on your energy? Do the energizers counteract the energy drainers, or do you have an energy deficit?

With the results of your audit, you might decide to take one or both of the following actions to give yourself more energy.

1. Distance yourself from de-energizers. This has been a major change in my own life, especially during key periods where I know I need to maintain as much energy as I can. I've gotten a lot more selective about who's in my inner circle.

2. If you can't escape from someone who drains your energy, develop strategies for dealing with that person to protect and replenish your energy. If, for example, you have a colleague who's always negative, accept that she isn't capable of showing up with positivity. Knowing that, how do you want to engage with her? Can you limit your time with her or put a stop to her habit of swinging by your office every afternoon to complain? (This blog has some good strategies for dealing with a complainer.) What can you do before or after seeing this person to replace the energy she takes from you?

This week, pay attention to how others fuel or drain your energy. Surrounding yourself with people who bring out your best is key to your success. The small changes we've talked about here minimize the effects of the people who drag you down – and free up time to spend with people who fire you up.

I'll be speaking on how to get more energy on May 11 at a luncheon presented by the Plano Chamber of Commerce Women's Division. You can find additional tips in "Staying Engaged" and "Building a Powerful Network," two titles in my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

Managing Stress When Work Goes Crazy

Over the past few months, I have found myself coaching several leaders facing major transitions and stress. Financial pressure has resulted in one or more rounds of restructuring. With fewer resources, achieving their business targets requires more from leaders who remain. With so much uncertainty in the environment, these leaders are often left wondering what will happen with their jobs, who else they will have to let go, and whether the company will still be a place where they want to work.  

If you find yourself in the midst of a similar situation or other big changes, your mind may be racing with thoughts like these:

There's too much going on. How much more can we really take on?

This is crazy! These changes don't make sense. How much will they really help?

How will my future be affected?

It would be a waste of time to bring forward my ideas right now — everyone is too distracted.

We’ve lost sight of who we are as a company in the midst of all this change.

Our leaders seem misaligned; we get conflicting messages.

Fear and uncertainty can increase your stress, keep you from engaging fully, or realizing that you can still have an impact no matter how out-of-control everything seems.

young stressed overwhelmed man with piles of folders on his desk

3 Steps to Stop Negativity

Even the most optimistic leaders can have difficulty staying positive when operating in a high stress environment each day – especially if their bosses are also too overwhelmed to give them support.  If you find yourself rattled by stress and uncertainty, try one of these strategies:

Focus on what is certain (i.e., what isn't changing).

In times of upheaval, we tend to focus more on all the changes and unknowns and overlook what is constant. For example, even if your company alters some aspects of how it operates, the overarching values and priorities may still stay the same. Help your team notice these things to give them more stability.

Manage your energy.

Even if you can’t see an end in sight in the near term, minimize the impact of tough spots in your schedule — the tasks and events that you know will sap your energy — and make sure you proactively infuse some positive energy to fill the tank. That could mean a morning workout before a stressful meeting or a few quick, deliberate breaks throughout the day. Take a look at your own agenda for the week right now. What energy-drainers do you see? How can you counteract them? Even something as simple as packing some healthy snacks to keep you from hitting the vending machines during a late night at the office can make a big difference.

Build a support system.

Even if your boss can’t offer much support, connect with colleagues and other people with positive energy so you can lift each other up. When your own optimism drops, tap into the energy of this group to help you recharge and refocus on what is working.

Change is always going to be part of your work environment, but remember that you can take small steps every day to help you feel more centered and in control. You'll find more ideas on managing your energy during difficult times in "Staying Engaged," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

A Leadership Roadblock People Are Afraid to Share

Some high performers have a surprising blind spot.  

They excel in many areas. They advance and get raises. But a gap in their people skills holds them back from being as successful as they could be.

We're not talking about major tantrums or tirades here. Instead, a pattern emerges over time in their daily interactions. They become known for their harsh tone or words, for their lack of respect, for feedback that shames others instead of empowering them.

And they're not setting out to be bullies, either. High performers who fit this pattern usually aren't aware of these problem behaviors or their impact — both on their colleagues and on their own careers. Their intent is typically to deliver high-quality results, and to do it quickly.

As an executive coach, I see this issue more and more as resources shrink and stress grows at most workplaces. What’s worse is that most people feel too intimidated to give you the feedback that you need to notice and correct the behavior. To determine whether you need to further assess or adjust your leadership style, ask yourself these questions:

• How often do you deliver individual feedback in group settings? When you give team members negative feedback in front of others, it can embarrass them and erode the trust in your relationships. Wait until you have some one-on-one time.

• How consistently do you demonstrate respect with colleagues at all levels? Some people interact well with senior leaders and peers, but then take on a less respectful tone when they talk to their direct reports. Remember to model the behavior you expect from others.

• How often do people approach you in the hall or linger after meetings to talk? If this happens infrequently, it may be a sign to take a look at how you engage with others. Simply pay more attention to the other person’s body language and tone during your interaction.

• How often do others push back on your ideas? If everyone typically goes along with whatever you propose, that's not always a good thing. Rather, take a look at how comfortable people seem in voicing their feedback or ideas, especially ones that may be different than yours

• How often do you work more than 55 hours per week? When you work that much, the odds of you operating from a place of stress and exhaustion increase. This can deplete your patience, making it harder for you to communicate constructively.

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In answering those questions, did you discover any red flags that your style may be harsher than you intend? If so, there are a couple of steps you can take to course-correct.

When you're abrupt or disrespectful to others because of stress, step up your self-care. What can you do today to help maintain your energy — and sanity — while still accomplishing what you need to do? Start by evaluating how much sleep and rest you’re getting. If you’re running short of sleep, bump up your daily total by 15 minutes as a starting point. If you’re plowing through each day without stopping, even a one- or two-minute break here and there can do wonders.

Next, think about what you want to be known for — in other words, what you want your leadership brand to be — and examine how consistently your behavior reflects that. Check out the story of one of my past clients and how identifying her values as a leader helped her stop acting in ways that diminished others. You can also find more advice and ideas in my Leadership EDGE Series^SM booklet, "Building Executive Presence." Remember: You bring a lot of value, so don't let a harsh tone or demeanor take away from that.

Six Types of Difficult People and How to Deal with Them

We all encounter difficult people or situations that leave us frustrated, especially as we’re trying to get more done with fewer resources. Fortunately, you get to choose how you want to show up regardless of how others show up. Keeping this in mind can ground you and keep you centered when you need it most.  

Let's look at six common situations you might find yourself in with difficult people and some communication strategies for handling them. Customize your response for the situation at hand, but look at the intent of each suggested response below to help you find the words that work for you.

The Naysayer

Behavior: Always tells you why your ideas can't work.

How to respond: "I understand your concerns and appreciate your perspective. What would it take to make this idea work?"

The Complainer

Behavior: Has a knack for seeing the glass as half empty and complaining instead of resolving the problem.

How to respond: "Take five minutes to vent so you can get it all out, and then let’s focus on finding a solution." (NOTE: You may want to actually time it or look at your watch so you can convey that you're serious about it).

The Derailer

Behavior: Finds ways to distract others from the core issue at hand.

How to respond: "I appreciate your comment. Just so I’m clear, please help me understand how it ties to what we’re trying to accomplish?"

The Person Lost in the Weeds

Behavior: Gets bogged down in details and loses sight of what's really important.

How to respond: "Let's take a look at the bigger picture to make sure we’re considering the 'what' before we get into the 'how', and that we’re meeting our objectives."

The 'Yes' Person

Behavior: Creates a bottleneck by taking on too much and getting overwhelmed.

How to respond: "If you take on this work, how much time will it entail? How does that fit in with other priorities you already have? What support might you need?"

The Master Delegator

Behavior: Keeps sending things your way without considering your existing workload.

How to respond: "I understand that you want me to complete this additional project. How important is this relative to other things I am working on? What would you like me to put lower on the priority list, or push out further, to create capacity for this?"

Keep these communication strategies in mind as you go about your week — I’m sure you’ll find an opportunity to use at least one. You can learn more about how to convey credibility and get your ideas heard in "Communicating With Impact," part of my Leadership EDGE SeriesSM.

For Women's Day, Own Your Value — Then Share It

Observed since the early 1900s, this event celebrates the achievements of women and girls — and looks for more opportunities for progress.  

Check out the International Women's Day website for activities in your area. In Dallas, where Newberry Executive Solutions is based, former first lady Laura Bush will be part of the "Voices of Hope" event on March 8. I'm also excited about the graduation of the latest Women's Initiative Fellows Program class at the George W. Bush Institute the following day.

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I started off my day by speaking at Ceridian’s global International Women's Day event.  I spoke about the power of recognizing your unique value and looking for ways to maximize your impact. And I want to challenge you to do the same, so that others can benefit from the value you bring.

As an executive coach who regularly works with high-performing women, I've seen that even accomplished leaders have trouble noticing what they bring to the table. I'll tell you what I tell my clients when they're having trouble seeing their own value: Think about how powerful it would be if someone else knew how to do what you do.

This is the first step to having impact on a larger scale. When you know how you make a difference, you can start identifying ways to amplify your contribution.

To help you get started with creating your own ripple effect, answer these questions:

• What results do you consistently deliver? Don’t worry about how easy it may be for you to get these results. When you’re using your core strengths, the work may not feel that difficult.

• How do those results that create value? In other words, how do they the impact others and the organization?

• How do you consistently get those results (i.e., how you accomplish what you do)? Break down what you do so that someone else can understand the essential steps, follow them and get similar outcomes. This makes the process repeatable and increases your impact. To map out the steps, try writing them down, drawing them out, or talking to someone about your process. Remember that these are your own personal best practices. ("Strategically Standing Out," part of the Leadership EDGE SeriesSM, can help you zero in on what's helped you succeed in the past.)

Your answers to the questions above will have you well on your way to building more capability in others and magnifying your strengths.

Let me give you an example from my own business. In my work with executive coaching clients, I saw over and over that helping them implement small, seemingly simple steps or changes led to big results (e.g., over 65% of my clients get promoted). I have now taken the strategies that have proven successful with my clients and turned them into a variety of products, such as books and audio trainings, so that more people can put them to use. My products help spread my impact beyond the clients I work with directly. But I was only able to create them after clarifying what works, the process and tools I use time and again to get consistent results.

Doing the same thing for yourself is one of the most meaningful things you can do this International Women's Day. The issues facing women are complex, and there's no blanket solution, but I believe that individual shifts like these can be the start of powerful movements as we all inspire one another. Picture what would happen if every woman who thought she was "nothing special" started putting her unique gifts more fully into play into the world. Now that's something to celebrate.

6 Tips from LEAD 2016 That You Can Use Today

I just got back from the LEAD 2016 Conference and Awards in Nashville. Newberry Executive Solutions and Sysco Corporation received two awards for the results at Sysco for the WOW!Women On the Way to Peak Performance ProgramSM: Winner’s Circle for the Best Executive Coaching and 3rd Place for Best Mentoring Program. We were up against some tough competition! Congratulations to my partners at Sysco, Sandra Carson and Raina Avalon, who are two amazing officers, leaders and role models making a difference every day.

I took much more away from this experience than awards and want to share leadership nuggets from some of the inspirational speakers:

1. Coach and author Devin C. Hughes: "Catch people doing awesome things every day. Don't underestimate the power of positive energy. It can be as simple as giving someone a 'high five.' Who will you 'high five' today?

2. Jim Kouzes, co-author of "The Leadership Challenge": Each day ask yourself, "How can I lead better tomorrow than a I did today?" Simply start strengthening your leadership by challenging yourself to improve a little each day.

3. Stephen M.R. Covey, CEO of Coveylink Worldwide: "Nothing is faster than the speed of trust (in getting results)." What are you doing to build trust each day?

4. Christine Ha the first blind "MasterChef USA" winner: "Always look for the intersection of passion, talent and opportunity to choose your vocation." You never know where it will lead you.

5. Bonnie St. John, the first African American Paralympic medalist in ski racing, shared a powerful diversity and inclusion exercise: Write down names of people who have impacted your life with their leadership. Then write down a list of people who would write your name down. Finally, examine the second list to see how diverse it is. How similar or different are they from you?

6. Tacy Byham, CEO of DDI: "Ladies, strike a power pose for two minutes before you have to go on stage to presnet. You will show up with more confidence."

How to Stay Grounded When Curveballs Come Your Way — Lessons From My Startup Journey

When I started Newberry Executive Solutions in 2008, I didn’t have a specific brand or company in mind that I wanted to emulate, but I did come from a company with a very strong brand – Deloitte. I learned a lot from my 14 years of consulting, coaching and leadership experience there. In particular, I understood the importance of consistently demonstrating value, living and breathing my company values and showing how my company was a leader in its field. When you do this, people will refer you business time and again because they know what to expect and know they can count on your company to get the job done well.

We all hit bumps in the road — those times when it feels hard to be an entrepreneur or to be in whatever role you hold. There are three key strategies that I leverage in my executive coaching work and that I still use for myself today.

• First, stop and remember what this business or role is really about for you. Tapping into the underlying passion that fueled the startup of your company or the pursuit of this career path is important. What are you really trying to accomplish?

• Next, get specific about what it would mean to achieve success. How would you be feeling? What would be happening? It’s important to write this out in detail and let yourself visualize it.

• Finally, surround yourself with people who can remind you of those things, when you cannot do it for yourself. It’s important to set this up in advance, before you hit an emotional dip, so people know when and how to help.

The nerve-racking headlines about the economy we're barraged with now remind me a lot of what was going on when I launched my business. I am a pretty confident person, but I wasn’t mentally prepared for the economy tanking just three months after I started my company. To help myself get over the anxiety I felt, I mapped out how much time I would give myself to be successful – and I defined what success would look like for different increments of time (three months, six months, nine months, one year, etc.). I also focused on just two or three steps at a time. This strategy of taking small steps and staying in the present (instead of the past or future), kept me from feeling overwhelmed by the task of launching a successful business that would develop strong business leaders and provide income comparable to or better than my income at Deloitte.

Fortunately, I didn’t have naysayers around me — because I chose to surround myself with people who have the right energy. Most people couldn’t imagine starting a company at the time I did it, but they didn’t discourage me. My family and friends know that it takes a lot for me to walk away from anything. So, please think about what kind of energy and support you need in your life, to maintain your passion and fuel your efforts. Those day-to-day messages and stories you tell yourself can be the difference between success and failure.

In 2008, I didn’t know I’d be relaunching my company two years later in 2010 in Dallas. These strategies, along with a few other simple ones, helped me double my business that year while retaining my original clients. And my business continues to grow. It’s been an unpredictable but exciting journey. Remember to enjoy every step of it.

Tap Into the Power of Passion to Create Your Ripple Effect

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When I left Deloitte, I was mentally and physically exhausted and knew I needed some space to figure out what was next. I am so grateful for each of my 14 years at that company, which helped me develop invaluable skills for the work I do today.  

As my wave of fatigue lifted in mid 2008, I began to reconnect with my passion and ultimately launched my leadership development company, right before the economy tanked. Yes, perfect timing! What I learned from building a business in a downturn is to never underestimate the power of passion. Not only does it fuel creativity, initiative and tenacity; it helps people overcome fear and roadblocks. When I started my company, I knew I wanted to use my experience and skills to have a bigger impact – to create a ripple effect. I just didn’t know exactly how. Today, I’m doing it, and my company continues to grow and have a broader reach.

But I’m certainly not the only one. Every day, I see people who want to make a difference in the lives of others, regardless of whether they are recognized for doing so.

For example, I recently attended a screening of an independent film called "I Dream Too Much." This was especially meaningful to me because I facilitated a strategy session with the team that made this movie a reality, The Pantheon of Women. The team reached out to me very early in their process, as they were strategizing about how to best use their passion for portraying women and girls differently in the media.

Pantheon of Women includes the CEO of a chemical company, a successful attorney and other successful businesswomen with limited experience in filmmaking. Despite this, their passion ignited their resourcefulness and they assembled a strong creative team to help them make it happen. Now they have a successful film to show for it, and are well on their way to making their second one. I was so excited to see "I Dream Too Much" with my dear friend Donna Cole, one of the key leaders who brought it to fruition.

As you go back to your day, think about one small step you can take to create a ripple effect. Perhaps it’s simply lifting someone else up, providing some words of encouragement or advice or moving forward on an idea you have been sitting on. And remember, small steps lead to big results.

3 Tips for Reaching Your Goals

If you haven’t already, it’s time to look forward and get specific about what you want out of this year. If you haven’t already done so, take time this week to get started. I’ve got three quick tips to help you:  

1. Keep it simple.

How do you want to stretch yourself? Remember not to overload yourself and choose just ONE area to focus on. Whether your goal is personal or professional, make it about getting the right work done. What does that mean? The "right work" is work that makes the highest and best use of your talents and that has the biggest impact.  Keep in mind that 20 percent of your effort typically yields 80 percent of your results.

2. Define the first step.

If you bog yourself down with coming up with the entire plan to reach your goal, you’ll never get started. Start by defining the first step that you will take to move forward in achieving your goal. Taking even one simple step will start building the momentum you need to keep going.

3. Find a supporter.

Accountability is critical to sticking with your goal, so don't go it alone. Whom will you tell about your goal by the end of this week, so that person can help you stay focused on it even when things get busy or tough?

Whatever goal you set, remember you can return to this blog to find ideas and resources to keep you motivated. When you're ready to invest in yourself even more powerfully, check out our products for both individuals and organizations to keep you moving toward the results you desire. Remember, I'm cheering for you in the background (can you see me?) – and that even seemingly small steps lead to big changes.