Bring Your 2022 Theme to Life

At the beginning of this year, I wrote in a LinkedIn post that I had chosen “ease” as my theme word for 2022. That sparked a great discussion about your theme words for the coming year. I loved the thoughtfulness behind what you chose, so I wanted to share some of the themes here along with resources to support each one.

Photo by Tj Holowaychuk on Unsplash

Peace

As I wrote recently, the leaders who stand out now are the ones who can show up in a calm and centered way. To do this, cultivate your own sense of inner peace. If your inner monologue of negative self-talk has you agitated, try these strategies for stopping the loop.

Pause

If you’re a regular reader, you already know that I am a big believer in the power of “the pause.” In today’s work environment, giving yourself some breathing room matters more than ever. Having trouble allowing yourself to slow down? Even a small break to notice what’s going on for you physically and mentally can help you course-correct and be more productive.

Simplify

The beauty of “simplify” as a theme word is that it can apply to so many situations. For example, reducing your physical and mental clutter can give you an energy boost while simplifying the way you communicate can build your executive presence.

Fairness 

This is a word we should all take to heart in 2022. The most recent Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In pointed out areas of inequity for women, especially women of color. Think about some ways you could make a difference for women at work. For example, help raise the visibility of qualified women who should be considered for opportunities.

Purposeful

As a coach who helps leaders get results through purpose, presence and power, “purposeful” gets me excited. To be more purposeful, take a moment to clarify what really matters most. Then redirect your time to making the highest and best use of your talents and skills in those critical areas.

If you have a theme word for 2022, I invite you to share it on my LinkedIn page. Looking for additional support to grow as a leader this year? Consider executive coaching with me or explore my self-paced tools, including the award-winning New Lens app.

Add Some Zen to Your Leadership Style

These days, it might feel like the only certain thing in our lives is uncertainty. In this atmosphere, how you show up as a leader can make all the difference for your team.  

I’m coaching a couple of leaders who excel in showing up in a calm, positive way. Very Zen indeed. Their presence works wonders to help ground and center others. I’ve seen it in action, and it’s powerful. It not only benefits their organizations, but also differentiates them as leaders.

Image by Schäferle from Pixabay

So, I want to do my part to help you notice how you are showing up. Your presence as a leader matters even more right now in the midst of work environments full of stress and change.

Take a quick look at the list below and rate yourself from 1 (for things you never or almost never do) to 10 (for the things you always or almost always do).

_____ My tone of voice reflects positive energy.

_____ The pace of my speech is evenly paced and calm.

_____ I take a moment to personally connect with others before discussing the topic at hand.

_____ I let others finish speaking without interrupting.

_____ When I respond, my response reflects that I heard what the other person said.

_____ I am fully engaged and present during in-person or virtual meetings; I don’t multi-task.

_____ I notice the stress level of others around me and adjust my style accordingly.

_____ I thank others and recognize them for their contributions.

Now that you’ve assessed how you’re doing, identify one area to prioritize for the next week. For example, to minimize distractions during meetings you might turn off email and instant message notifications. If you need to look at something urgent on your device during a meeting, consider letting other attendees know. (“It looks like Greg just emailed me the report we were waiting for, so I have to take a quick look.”)

To help you address any root causes that keep you from feeling grounded and centered, take a look at some of my past blog articles below. After all, it’s a lot easier to exude calm and Zen when you feel calm yourself!

• How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

• Maintaining Focus in the Midst of Chaos

• Crazy Day? Here’s How to Get Centered

• How to Overcome Negative Feelings

• 4 Ways to Keep Your Busy Life from Taking Over

And if you’re ready to take the next steps in building your leadership presence, I invite you to consider executive coaching with me or explore my self-paced tools, including the award-winning New Lens app.

How to Focus on Your Well-Being in 2022

Before your schedule fills back up again after the holidays, it’s a good time to check in on your well-being. If you’re a regular reader, you know that I’ve always taught that the quality of your leadership (i.e., how you “show up”) depends on your physical and mental well-being.  In demanding times like these, that’s even more true. 

In the current environment, self-care is a critical strategy rather than something to get to when you have a spare moment. You and I both know that those spare moments may never come. So how can you start the year with a focus on you and your well-being?

3 Questions to Ask Yourself

First, let’s get a sense of how you’re doing right now. Life often gets so busy that we lose sight of this. This is why it helps to reflect before you take action.

1. How would you rate your energy level on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 is high)?

2. What one or two derailing behaviors do you want to eliminate from your daily routine? 

3. What are one or two simple changes you can make right now to support your well-being in 2022? Keep in mind the strategies that energize you and have already proven effective.

How I’m Making Shifts

To help you think about these questions, I want to share what answering them brought up for me.

I know from experience that I’m happier and more productive when I go to bed on time and exercise or meditate first thing in the morning. Leading up to the holidays, I had let this personal best practice fall by the wayside. I had gotten into the habit of working too late and then staying up even later doing something to decompress, like watching TV. Instead of jumping out of bed well-rested, I started hitting the snooze button each morning. This put a damper on my energy level. On top of that, I got drawn into reading the depressing news notifications on my phone when I finally woke up.

As I start off this year, I’m being much more intentional about my sleeping and waking habits. I have set more realistic expectations for myself, especially when I know I’ll be really busy, and have let go of all-or-nothing thinking. If I can’t do a full workout in the morning, a 10-minute walk or run still has benefits. I’ve adjusted the notifications on my phone and read the news when it’s less likely to affect my mindset. 

Another way I support my well-being is by proactively managing my calendar. This is a work-in-progress. I’ve been experimenting with blocking out time on my calendar for different kinds of work and then evaluating whether I used those blocks as planned. Over the past six months, I’ve tweaked my system three times to align with when I have the most energy, my clients’ needs, and the work I actually need to get done. 

What Steps Can You Commit to?

As you think about how to better support your own well-being, remember that it’s not about perfection or having everything all figured out before you take action. It is a process of continuous improvement. Commit to just one or two small changes right now and then see how they affect your energy and well-being. Use what you learn to help you continue to refine your approach. And remember that small steps lead to big results.

If you’re looking for even more actionable strategies to start your year on the right foot, check out my award-winning New Lens app. It features bite-size lessons like the ones in this article that you can quickly absorb and apply.

4 Questions to Take You Into 2022

Annually on this blog, I share a series of questions that can have a profound effect on how you move forward into the new year. Consistently, I hear from both my coaching clients and my readers that this simple exercise yields big insights with just a brief time investment. Whether you answer these questions each year with me, or if this is your first time reading them, I hope that they’ll create “aha” moments and positive momentum as we head into 2022. All you need are a few distraction-free minutes (as little as 10 should do the job) and a pen and paper. (Yes, you can use your computer if you want, but you'll get the most out of this exercise if you write your answers out by hand.)

Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay

1. What Did You Learn About Your Leadership in 2021?

If there’s one thing we can say about the past couple of years, it’s that they’ve put us to the test. What have you observed about yourself amid the challenges of 2021?

2. What Did You Learn from Other Leaders?

You can learn a lot about the kind of leader you want to be — and the kind you don’t want to be — from the other leaders around you.

3. What Do You Want to Take Forward Into 2022?

Want to know a surprisingly common mistake that many high-performing leaders make? They don’t pause often enough to notice the results they’re creating and how they create those results. When you understand how you accomplish what you do, you can put your own personal best practices into play more deliberately — and help others leverage them. What were your wins in 2021? How did you make them happen? And how can you use those same strategies to achieve your 2022 goals?

4. What Do You Want to Leave Behind?

The end of the year is a good time to think about any setbacks, mistakes, conflicts or big changes that you find yourself dwelling on. Sometimes we can stay stuck in frustration even as we push ourselves to move forward and be more resilient. But resilience doesn’t mean simply powering through. Instead, it requires delving into our thoughts and feelings and taking a look at successes and failures – so we can learn from them and make different choices. My article “Why Can’t I Get Over This?” has some strategies you can use to get past any stumbling blocks you want to leave in 2021.

Planning for Next Year?

As the year winds down, arm yourself and your team with easy-to-use, high impact tools. If you haven’t already, check out the New Lens® app to start getting results immediately without breaking the budget.

This is my last blog article of 2021, and I want to thank all of you for reading this year. I’ll be back in the new year with more resources to help you accomplish what’s important to you.

Retain Women Amid ‘the Great Resignation’

I’ve written before about “the Great Resignation” — the record number of people who have been leaving their jobs this year. Now we’re seeing more and more headlines that women are driving this phenomenon.

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov from Pexels

The Women in the Workplace 2021 report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In highlighted the growing crisis:

One in three women says that they have considered downshifting their career or leaving the workforce this year, compared with one in four who said this a few months into the pandemic. Additionally, four in ten women have considered leaving their company or switching jobs—and high employee turnover in recent months suggests that many of them are following through. … The risk to women, and to the companies that depend on their contributions, remains very real.

As we look toward the new year, I wanted to share some ideas about how organizations can turn this situation around in 2022. Hopefully, you’ll find at least one strategy on this list that you can bring to your own workplace.

Offer More Flexibility

Remote work and flexible schedules skyrocketed during the pandemic. Now some companies, including tech giants, are making those changes permanent. For example, Microsoft now allows employees to work from anywhere for half of their work week, and even 100% remotely with manager approval.

Flexibility is especially important to women. That makes sense, considering that women make up 75% of caregivers. However, simply offering remote or hybrid work options is not a cure-all when it comes to retaining women. Such changes must be implemented thoughtfully to ensure that women who are working remotely are not penalized for being less visible at the office

Promote Mentorship and Sponsorship

Understandably, women are leaving their jobs when they don’t see opportunities for advancement. And one reason that women don’t move up the ladder at the same rate as men do is that men are sponsored more often. 

What’s the difference between a mentor and a sponsor? While both provide valuable career advice, sponsors also connect you to opportunities and advocate for you.

A program that connects women to mentors and sponsors sends a powerful message. That’s what companies like HERE Technologies have found.

Emphasize Wellbeing

During the pandemic, more organizations began to embrace the idea that employee wellbeing isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s essential for sustainable success. Because women are more stressed and burned out than men are, wellbeing initiatives are a powerful tool for retaining women employees. 

Your company can support employees by offering wellness subsidies, as Deloitte and DocuSign do. Or you could help employees access mental health services, as Starbucks and Target do.

Resources You Can Use

At Newberry Executive Solutions, our focus is providing resources that organizations can use to engage and retain the women leaders that are so crucial to their future. As your company makes plans for 2022, I invite you to explore our programs, books, New Lens app and other offerings that can help you invest in women.

Leadership Advice on the Go

This time of year, you might be spending more time traveling, whether for errands around town or holiday visits across the country. As you do, I wanted to share some of my interviews and presentations on leadership that you can take along with you. Just follow the links to listen.

Image by Markus Winkler from Pixabay

‘Beyond Barriers’

I recently joined Monica Marquez on the “Beyond Barriers” podcast. We discussed how to gain clarity on your career path and make decisions with confidence in the midst of uncertainty, risk-taking strategies, codifying your unique value proposition, and promoting your value without bragging. 

‘Be a Wave Maker’

2020 was epic with lessons of a lifetime from my unexpected battle with cancer (I won), navigating through a pandemic and running a business. Don’t underestimate the power of one step at a time or any of the simple but powerful resilience strategies I mention here. They will lead you to big results. I talk more about "Building a Change Mindset" with Patti Johnson on the "Be a Wave Maker: Conversations on Change" podcast.  

‘The STaR Coach Show’

With tight schedules and budgets, how can you get the coaching that you need or provide coaching to your team? Our New Lens app gives you access to what has helped over 75% of our clients get promoted. Learn about it in this episode of “The STaR Coach Show” podcast with Meg Rentschler.

TWU Commencement Speech

In May 2019, I gave the commencement speech for the College of Business at Texas Woman's University. As a big fan of TWU and an inaugural advisory council member of its Institute for Women's Leadership, this opportunity meant a lot to me. Listen for a powerful, timeless message about how to achieve your goals in tough circumstances. I hope will give you a little inspiration and remind you of what is possible.

More Leadership Development Resources

Ready to hear more? My WOW! Program℠ is for high-performing women who want to elevate their careers and leadership skills, in a way that works for them. It contains six audio modules designed to take you from gaining insight to taking action. And you can access the information when, where, and as often as you like.

Tap Into the Power of Gratitude

With packed schedules at work and at home, it’s easy to lose sight of the whole point of this season of gratitude. Thinking about the things you are thankful for might even feel like just one more thing you’re supposed to do — not that you want to do.

Image by hudsoncrafted from Pixabay

However, expressing gratitude and appreciation has some pretty powerful benefits, both for others and ourselves:

• Feeling stressed? Even just thinking about the people you are grateful for can help.

• Gratitude can short-circuit negative emotions like envy, resentment and regret. 

• Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman found that when people shared letters of gratitude with someone they had never properly thanked for their kindness, they immediately became happier — and stayed happier for the next month!

Whether your year so far has been awesome, so-so or difficult, think about who has helped you get through it all. Who are the people who brought that positive energy and helped you be more resilient? And who supported you through the toughest moments?

Your list might include the boss who always thinks about opportunities for you even when they have a lot on their plate. Or you may feel grateful for team members who have really stepped up this year or peers who have helped you juggle work and life. And then there are the family members and friends who have cheered you on toward your goals or shared wisdom and advice. You can even feel grateful for the people who push your buttons – like a micromanaging boss or a gossipy colleague. After all, these people are showing you a lot about who you don’t want to be and surfacing your core values.

In my own life, I am grateful this year for: 

• My amazing team who constantly backs me up, especially when I went through my cancer treatment. 

• The executives that I coach who had the courage to show vulnerability as we partnered to navigate through major challenges in the current environment.  

• The opportunity to partner with other executives in the community to lift others up, raise money for those in need, and drive social change. It reminds me how much difference a single person or idea can make.

How about you? Who is on your personal gratitude list as Thanksgiving gets closer? And how will you express your appreciation?

The Great Resignation: How Leaders Can Respond

The headlines just keep coming about a phenomenon that’s being called “the Great Resignation.” A record number of Americans have been quitting their jobs. In August alone, the number was 4.3 million. With this trend showing no signs of reversing anytime soon, what can you do as a leader to retain employees in your organization?

Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

Why Are So Many People Quitting?

First, it’s important to understand what’s driving this wave of resignations. The reasons vary across different fields. But there are a few common themes among professionals:

• Necessity. Childcare has long been expensive and, in some regions, scarce. But now the field is experiencing its own labor shortage, which makes it even harder for families to find workable options. As a result, some moms are forced out of the job market.

• Burnout. According to the Women in the Workplace 2021 report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In, 42% of women often or almost always feel burned out. 

• Flexibility. Many of us got used to working from home and having more autonomy to control our own schedules during the pandemic. Now some professionals would rather quit than return to the office full time.

• Changing values. The pandemic has made us take a new look at what’s really important to us. That’s led some people to shift their focus away from work and seek new careers that offer them more balance and meaning.

How to Improve Retention

So what should leaders do to retain employees amid these rapid changes in the work environment?

• Adapt and evolve. We aren’t going “back to normal.” The pandemic-driven changes in how we work are here to stay. To retain employees (and recruit new ones), organizations must embrace this new reality and update their policies on things like flexible schedules and working from home. 

• Focus on results. As a leader, as much as you have autonomy to, emphasize outcomes instead of processes. In other words, evaluate your team members on what they accomplish vs. when or where they do their work.

• Prioritize well-being. This was one of the three key recommendations from the Women in the Workplace report. Promoting well-being goes beyond offering flexible schedules. It also involves understanding what else employees really need to honor both their professional and personal priorities, whether that’s a childcare stipend or quarterly mental health days.

• Collaborate, align and adjust. The solutions that will most improve retention are those that you develop with your employees to address both their needs and your organization’s. This isn’t a situation you can address once and then consider everything solved for good. Instead, check in with your team members regularly to see what’s changed for them and how their work arrangements need to change in response.

As you lead during these challenging times, products and services from Newberry Executive Solutions are a great way to support yourself and others. You can learn how to bring out the best in your team and stay centered yourself, even amid constant change.

Share Your Ideas

“One in three women says that they have considered downshifting their career or leaving the workforce this year, compared with one in four who said this a few months into the pandemic. Additionally, four in ten women have considered leaving their company or switching jobs—and high employee turnover in recent months suggests that many of them are following through. … The risk to women, and to the companies that depend on their contributions, remains very real.”

-Women in the Workplace 2021

How can companies hold on to their female employees? In an upcoming article, I’ll be sharing examples of strategies that work. And I’d love to hear from you about what’s happening at your organization. Drop by my LinkedIn page to share your ideas and join the discussion.

5 Eye-Opening Findings on Women at Work

The Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In is always an important look at what women are experiencing at work and the barriers we face to our success. With the coronavirus pandemic driving women out of the workforce, it’s even more vital to be aware of these challenges and what we can do to address them. That’s why I wanted to share with you a few of the most striking findings from this year’s report, as well as some ideas for taking action.

1. Women Are Promoted to Manager Less Often Than Men Are

According to the report, for every 100 men who receive a promotion to manager, only 86 women do. This disparity hurts women’s representation all the way to the top levels of leadership. After all, women can’t “climb the ladder” when the bottom rung is broken. The report urges companies to take concrete steps to make promotions more equitable.

If you’re aiming for a promotion yourself, you can increase your odds by honing your communication style and making sure others are aware of your value, even if you’re working remotely.

2. There’s an ‘Allyship Gap’

While this year’s report found that women are champions of diversity, equity and inclusion, it also identified areas for improvement. For example, 25% of women of color said that mentoring or sponsoring is one of the actions that most conveys meaningful allyship. That compares with 16% of white women.

In my article “Do You Have Mentors or Sponsors?” you can learn about the difference between the two — and why you need both. Want to create more opportunities for others? Check out my list of ways you can help them grow.

3. Burnout Is a Big Problem

Of the women surveyed this year, 42% say they often or almost always feel burned out. For women who manage teams, the crisis is even worse. More than half of women leaders report experiencing burnout.

Again, the report urges companies to do more to support their employees’ well-being amid the added stresses of today’s work environment. If you’re experiencing symptoms of burnout, here are a few ideas for getting out of crisis mode and asking for help. 

4. Flexible Schedules Have a Downside

Over the past couple of years, many of us have gained more flexibility in when and where we do our jobs. This can be a real boon for work-life balance, but it can also create its own set of anxieties. According to McKinsey and Lean In: “More than a third of employees feel like they need to be available for work 24/7, and almost half believe they need to work long hours to get ahead.”

If you feel that you must be “always on,” it’s time to re-examine your mindset and boundaries around work. It’s also important to help others understand your schedule.

5. Microaggressions Have a Big Impact

Microaggressions are defined as “the everyday, subtle, intentional — and oftentimes unintentional — interactions or behaviors that communicate some sort of bias toward historically marginalized groups.” Examples of microaggressions that people experience at work include getting interrupted more often than others do or overhearing insults about their culture or people like them.

The report found that all women are more likely to experience microaggressions than men are. But Black women, LGBTQ+ women and women with disabilities experience even more microaggressions than women overall do. Those experiences take a toll. Microaggressions are one way that women experience silencing, which can derail their whole careers.

Investing in Women Pays Off

As the Women in the Workplace 2021 report says, companies “need to create a culture that fully leverages the benefits of diversity—one in which women, and all employees, feel comfortable bringing their unique ideas, perspectives, and experiences to the table. When women are respected and their contributions are valued, they are more likely to be happy in their jobs and to feel connected to their coworkers.”

If your organization is seeking ways to cultivate your women leaders, Newberry Executive Solutions has a full range of products and services that can help, from executive coaching to an award-winning app to books.

3 Powerful Questions to Finish 2021 with Intention

We’re now in the last quarter of 2021. For many of us, that means navigating both a final push at work as well as the hectic holiday season.

While your schedule might be full right now, you may also feel like your fuel tank is running on empty. And you’re not alone. The new Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Company and Lean In found that 42% of women say they often or almost always feel burned out. For women who manage teams, the crisis is even worse. More than half of women leaders report experiencing burnout.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The unprecedented demands on us these days amplify the need to be intentional in how we approach these busy final weeks of the year. Answering these three questions can help you reduce your stress and increase your sense of control.

1. What Does the Road Ahead Look Like?

When there’s a lot going on, life can feel overwhelming. Getting everything out of your head and onto a piece of paper can do wonders to make it feel more manageable. So, take a moment to jot down what you foresee happening at work and in your personal life through the end of 2021. This will reduce the level of uncertainty for you, start to set your expectations and allow you to strategize. 

2. What Can You Do for Yourself?

As you think about the rest of the year, determine what would help you the most. Start by identifying strategies that have worked well for you this year and choose one to use proactively. For example, if distractions and interruptions are out of control, talk to your team about alternative ways to effectively communicate and work with them. Or if delivering performance reviews stresses you out, set aside some time to explore how to make feedback easier and more effective. Or if you have to spend time with family members who drain your energy, counteract that by scheduling time doing something fun or energizing.

3. Whose Support Do You Need?

Even before Covid-19, loneliness was being called an epidemic in its own right. Amid our busy lives, it’s all too easy to let our connections with others fray. But those connections can be the very thing that gets us through busy or stressful times. Don’t try to soldier through on your own. Instead, reach out in advance to someone who can give you the kind of support you need over the coming weeks. Describe the “warning signs” of stress that they should look for and how they can best help you if they arise. For example, you could ask your spouse, “If you notice that I’m working long hours and getting irritable, could you please remind me that starting my day with a walk or run always helps me feel better and be more productive?” 

If the person whose support you really crave is no longer with you, write down the words you would need to hear from that person and keep them accessible. If, for example, your late mom always used to know what to say to help you bounce back, keep some of her words of wisdom in the notes app on your phone.

By spending a few minutes this week to answer these questions, you’ll be taking a powerful step to protect your health, energy level and peace of mind as the year winds down. For a deeper dive into managing your energy as a leader, check out our tools and resources, ranging from the New Lens® app to books and audio training to executive coaching. You’ll find solutions that fit both your needs and your busy schedule.

4 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Energy

Recently, I shared a photo on LinkedIn that struck a chord with thousands of people. The photo shows a sign posted at an Indiana University Health facility which reads:

Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

Your words matter. Your behaviors matter. Our patients and our teams matter.

Take a slow, deep breath and make sure your energy is in check before entering.

Thank you.

I wonder if those words resonated with so many people because we all know what it’s like to be affected by someone else’s energy — for better or for worse.

As leaders, we have to watch the energy we project. We don’t have to be perfect but do have to remember that we’re always in the “invisible spotlight” and that our behavior and presence sets the tone for others. 

So how can you take ownership for the energy you bring as a leader — even when things get crazy and stressful? Here are a few strategies that consistently work for my executive coaching clients.

1. Take Care of Yourself

You can’t bring positive energy if you’ve depleted your own tank. Are you getting enough sleep, breaks, exercise or healthy food? Too many of us fall into the trap of thinking, “How can I possibly take time for ME right now when there’s so much to do?” But experience and research show that self-care will boost your productivity and help you better support others. Taking care of yourself is not “nice to have” but rather a critical leadership strategy that affects how you show up.

2. Notice Your Energy Patterns

To maximize your energy, plan your activities with your personal energy patterns in mind. For example, if you typically feel more energetic in the morning, complete your most challenging or creative work then. Don’t save it for when your energy is already drained. And don’t schedule most of your draining work activities on one day. Your body will always give you clues about when it’s time to walk away (such as headaches, back pain, fatigue, and the inability to focus) and give yourself a break.

3. Build Your Executive Presence

Think about all the times when someone else’s energy affected you. Their energy probably had less to do with what they said and more to do with how they said it – perhaps with an edge to their tone, impatience, or frustration. Before you dial into your next call or log into your next videoconference, ask yourself, “How do I want to show up? What energy do I want to bring?” By simply pausing to do this, it will affect your executive presence including your tone, body language, and energy.

4. Boost Your Confidence

Your confidence level significantly impacts how you show up with others. Sometimes, all it takes to give yourself a confidence boost is setting aside a little more time – even 15 minutes – to prepare more fully. Go beyond the subject matter to think through the audience, their potential questions and resistance, and your own presence. And remember that taking even 5 minutes a week to jot down a few of your accomplishments and the value they created for your organization, will build your confidence over time.

Your energy as a leader has a ripple effect on other people. I want to challenge you to identify one strategy that you will use to keep your energy in check this week. To take a deeper dive into the topics explored here — including self-care, boosting your energy, developing your executive presence, and building confidence — take a look at our tools and resources ranging from the New Lens® app to books and audio training to executive coaching.  You’ll find solutions that fit both your needs and your busy schedule.

How to Stop the Loop of Negative Self-Talk

I’m usually a positive person, but earlier this summer, I noticed that my inner voice (and sometimes my outer one!) was starting to drone on like Charlie Brown’s teacher. 

During my treatment for and recovery from cancer, I was vigilant about maintaining a positive mindset and keeping people with positive energy around me. But as the ongoing challenges of recovery and a global pandemic continued, I found it hard to consistently be positive. My attention shifted more to my fatigue and desire for things to be different.

Photo by Julia Avamotive from Pexels

What I experienced is sometimes called ruminative thinking. The thing about rumination is that the more you do it, the easier it is to keep doing it.

I knew I needed more than resilience tools to snap me out of the cycle. A vacation did the trick. It was my first “real” time off in a year and a half, where I could unplug instead of dealing with medical issues. And it allowed me to break the loop of negative thoughts and feel like myself again. 

After vacation, I had the mental energy to start using the resilience tools that I know work for me. And I discovered that many of my clients couldn’t seem to shut off their negative thoughts. It’s understandable, given that stressful events can lead to rumination. And we’ve certainly had no shortage of stress lately! But when negative thoughts start spiraling, you can break the cycle. Here are a few strategies to try.

Give Your Brain a Break

Shaking things up and taking a break from the grind of daily routines can reboot your brain – especially if you focus on what energizes you.

I did this by using my vacation to reconnect with close friends, get out in nature, and challenge myself — hiking, rafting, ziplining and other outdoorsy adventures. Being in the middle of nowhere and away from my technology helped me unplug. Researchers have found that a 90-minute walk in nature or exercise reduces ruminative thinking. Learning is another research-backed way to short-circuit rumination because it helps you focus your thoughts on the moment. For my son and I, learning to fly fish did the trick.

How can you shake things up and recharge? Even a one-day staycation can be mentally invigorating. Do something to get you out of your daily patterns and reconnect you with your authentic self.

Honor Your Feelings

Until you can make time for a break, you can turn down the volume on your ruminative thoughts.

I work with high performers, who often use logic as a key driver in how they approach the world. Logic is valuable but you can’t rationalize your way out of a loop of negative thinking.

Your logical mind may tell you that it makes more sense to forget about whatever is bothering you and just move on. But your emotional mind won’t let go as easily. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of your feelings, see what happens when you acknowledge what’s happening. By giving yourself permission to feel the way that you do — even if you don’t want to feel those emotions – you will move through your emotions more quickly.

Enlist Some Help

Get an outside perspective to help you stop ruminating. Ask someone whom you trust and who will be honest with you to help you snap out of negative thinking. Give them some guidance about how to help you in advance. For example, tell them that if they notice you complaining about the same things over and over, to remind you of the tools and tactics that help you feel more resilient. Below are some resources you can have on hand for when you need them.

• How to Discover Your Resilience

• Escape These 7 Thinking Traps

• How to Move Forward Amid Uncertainty

• 10 Ways to Use Your Body to Change Your Mind

• How to Overcome Negative Feelings

Remember that the goal isn’t to stop negative self-talk from ever happening. It’s to help you break the cycle more quickly. If you’ve found yourself ruminating lately, what’s the first step you will take this week to make a shift?

One Thing Video Series: Reclaiming Yourself

Have you gotten lost in the shuffle with everything going on in the world? In the latest installment of my One Thing You Can Do Video Series, listen for what you can do to reclaim more of who you are and recharge.

One Thing Video Series: Dealing with Difficult People

Some people just have a knack for pushing our buttons. You can’t avoid them forever — no matter how much you might want to. But what can you do instead to protect your sanity? In my latest One Thing You Can Do Video, I share a simple strategy that might surprise you.

One Thing Video Series: Pause and Reflect

With so much going on these days, you might not feel like you even have a moment to pause and catch your breath. But in times like these, it’s more important than ever to check in with yourself. Why? All of these challenges you’ve been facing do have a silver lining: They’re teaching you so much that you can use going forward. In my latest One Thing You Can Do Video, I talk about the power of looking at where you are and setting your course for the rest of the year.

What to Do When You Can’t Get a Response

You have a simple question. Or at least that's what you thought. But, for some reason, the colleague you are asking keeps saying they'll have to get back to you. Or perhaps they do respond to you, but their answer isn't relevant to what you need to know.

Image by Ernesto Eslava from Pixabay

When someone isn’t responsive to your questions, you might feel frustrated or even invisible. Getting the information you need while maintaining a good relationship with the other person takes both strong communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Clarify the Core Message

One reason the other person may not respond is that they may be getting lost in the details. Whether you're asking a question in conversation or via email, remember to present your "headlines” first. In other words, directly ask about what you want to know. Save the backstory and details. The other person will ask for more information if they need it.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Perhaps more than ever, many of us spend our days in a state of stress and distraction. When we're busy, our listening skills suffer. So even if you are clearly stating your question, the other person may not be processing what you are really saying. Consider your audience and tailor the approach accordingly.  What tends to work best? How can you make things easier?

Maybe They Just Don't Know

Some people are reluctant to say "I don't know" out of fear of coming across as incompetent or incapable.

Usually, the leaders I coach have already tried different strategies to make sure they are understood. But they often don't pick up that the other person is uncomfortable admitting they don't have an answer — especially if they themselves have no problem saying they don't know something.

Consider whether this might be going on in your situation. What does the evidence tell you about whether the other person actually has an answer to your question? Don't let their title or level distract you.

If you suspect they don't have an answer, you may have to help them figure one out in a way that spares their ego. For example, give them a couple of ideas to consider and get their reaction.

If you'd like to learn more strategies for leading confidently in any situation, check out my WOW! (Women on the Way to peak performance) Program℠. I've delivered WOW! at top corporations, and now it's available as a self-paced program that you can complete on your own, with a colleague or through your own informal learning circle.

How to Overcome Negative Feelings

Even as we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the coronavirus pandemic, we're also experiencing stress and exhaustion after more than a year of disruption. Many of us are still not feeling quite like ourselves — and with good reason.

So, I thought it was a good time to revisit the core ideas of positivity. These principles have made a big difference for both me and my clients over the years. And they can be an important part of our toolkits for dealing with stress and restoring and replenishing ourselves as these challenging times continue.

Image by ShonEjai from Pixabay

Negative Emotions Are Big, But Brief

Positive and negative emotions both play important roles in our lives. Because negative emotions help us deal with threats, we're wired to pay a lot of attention to them, according to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, a researcher on the science of emotions. (Be sure to check out her books Positivity and Love 2.0). However, over time, negative emotions may create “lingering lenses" — for example, the tendency to see danger in every situation. It's helpful to remember that emotions, by nature, are brief. If you're having negative emotions right now, it may not feel like they'll ever pass. But they will. Also remind yourself that a negative emotion might feel "big" not because of its actual magnitude, but rather because that's just how our brains work.

Positivity Is Good Medicine

It's not just important to manage our negative emotions right now. We also need to cultivate positive emotions. Positivity has very real effects on our physical and emotional well-being and is tightly linked to how long we live and how healthy we are. Research shows a direct correlation between positive emotions and heart health, immune health and resilience. Positive emotions can even increase your sense of purpose. If this is a time of transition for you, positive emotions can help you find your new path.

3 Steps to More Positivity

Using the power of positivity to tackle your pandemic fatigue doesn't mean telling yourself to "just think positive" or constantly reading positivity quotes or memes on social media. To become more positive, you need intentional strategies. It isn't about suppressing negative feelings.

As an example, let's say that you want to start working out regularly again after letting your fitness habits slide during the pandemic. Based on Dr. Frederickson’s teachings, you could use this simple reflection to get started:

1. Notice how often you actually think about the activity – in this case, exercising. Once or multiple times a day? Weekly? Never? 

2. Identify what percentage of your thoughts about the activity is positive and what percentage is negative. 

3. Finally, think about how positive your experience is while you are engaging in the activity.

In other words, tweak the experience so that it becomes more enjoyable, rather than just focusing on the accomplishment. When I used to go to spinning classes regularly with friends, I loved it — even when I was too tired to do it. I enjoyed catching up with my friends, listening to the upbeat music and picking a person in the class to secretly “compete” with. If I had been focused only on the outcome (getting through the one-hour class) I wouldn’t have enjoyed it nearly as much. 

Reprogram Your Negative Thoughts

Once you have greater awareness about your thoughts about an activity, you can actually “program” your spontaneous thoughts to be more positive. Frederickson suggests using an “if (this), then (that)” approach. Continuing with our example of exercise, here’s what it would look like in practice:

• If I am too tired to exercise after work, then I will remind myself how good I will feel once I start exercising.

• If it is a nice day outside, then I will go for a walk in my favorite park or trail.

These quick strategies will help you develop effective ways to counteract some of the challenges and negative thoughts you may be facing lately. I have been trying them myself and am surprised at how quickly they start to work. How can you put positivity into action in your own life this week? For more self-care strategies like the ones in this article, pick up a copy of "Staying in the Driver's Seat," part of my Leadership EDGE℠ series.

Women Leaders Shine at Two Events

As a board member for Texas Women’s Foundation, I’m passionate about the organization’s mission to make Texas a better place for women and girls. These past few weeks, it’s been especially exciting to be part of the foundation, thanks to two events that addressed some of the major challenges of our times.

Leadership Forum & Awards

On April 29, TWF presented its Leadership Forum & Awards Celebration to celebrate the impact of women leaders across Texas.

The keynote speaker was Adriana Gascoigne, the founder and CEO of Girls in Tech, a nonprofit organization that empowers, educates and engages women in the tech industry.

Gascoigne talked about how we've lost 50 years in gains for women during the pandemic. The time to invest in women is now. She also shared research from her organization about the tech industry. Findings include a high rate of burnout among women with male bosses.

Gascoigne left her audience with this advice:

• Every failure is an opportunity to learn and build resilience. Fail fast and be open to change.

• Keep your voice. Find your passion and purpose and stick with them.

• Partner with the right people and get advocates.

Congratulations to co-chairs Hattie Hill and Jana Etheridge for this meaningful and valuable event. I also want to extend warm congratulations to the award honorees: Trisha Cunningham, Jin-Ya Huang, Rani Puranik, Judy Treviño, Cheryl Polote Williamson, Diana Mao and Kim Roxie.

Orchid Giving Circle POWER Leadership Forum

Orchid Giving Circle at Texas Women’s Foundation is an Asian sisterhood that provides grants and fosters philanthropy primarily within and for the North Texas Asian community. On May 7, the Circle hosted the POWER Leadership Forum. I was honored to be on the planning committee for this event and to serve as one of the conversation leaders. Sponsors also receive access to my New Lens® app. I’m excited to share that we had almost 600 attendees and 100% of the funds will go to nonprofit organizations.

One key component of the forum was the Fireside Chat with Anne Chow, CEO of AT&T Business. Anne addressed the recent rise in bias against Asian Americans. A few of her key points:

• Asian Americans are often talked about as the “model minority” (successful, overachievers). Remember to lean on the power of your core cultural values — to serve, achieve and perform.

• We have to take care of ourselves. Have people in your life with who you can talk to truthfully. Let it out.

• We all own a part of helping each other be better.  We all have biases. Start with yourself by understanding and reframing your own biases.

Anne also talked about how to manage your energy in challenging times:

• It’s not about achieving work/life balance. Balance is bogus — you have one life to live; not separate personal and professional lives.  In your time-pressed life, focus on the quality of time you spend with others, not the quantity.  Optimize your life to the success measures that you define.

• We all face choice points about where to put our time and energy. When you are making a choice, think about whether it is a “no do-over” moment  — one when you or the other person would always remember that you weren’t there. 

• No one needs to know what your “no do-over” moments are or should tell you what they should be.  You can frame it as an “immovable commitment.”

• Science shows that we are not truly happy unless we are helping others. Pick your head up, get involved in your community, and lift others up.

I also appreciated the takeaways from other panelists:

• Be intentional with your time. Manage your moments.

• Ask for what you need; wish out loud.

• Do not just focus on tasks; take time to consistently invest in relationships.

• Learn from your mistakes and quickly move forward.

• Strategically use your energy.

• Your voice matters, especially during this challenging time for the Asian community.

• Volunteering in the community is a way to grow your skills in a safe environment and build your network of influence.

I hope that you’ll consider joining in Texas Women’s Foundation’s work to drive change for women. To learn more about donating or volunteering, visit the Get Involved page on the organization’s website.

The 5-Minute Strategy to Prepare for a Meeting

Meetings are opportunities to both advance your business goals and strengthen your personal brand as a leader. To make the most of every meeting, your preparation should include not just reviewing the subject matter, but also paying attention to the critical nuances that really drive success. Taking just five minutes to review these five questions can make a real difference in how your next meeting goes.

1. How Do You Want to Show Up?

If you only have time to think about one question from this article before your next meeting, make it this one.

Every meeting you attend affects how others perceive you as a leader. What do you want your colleagues to understand about your leadership? And how can you convey that through your presence and behavior during the meeting?

Also think about how you can align your demeanor with the qualities people associate with strong leadership. For example, if you tend to talk fast, you might be perceived as stressed and harried. So you can make a point at your meeting to speak in a way that sounds grounded.

2. How Will Others Show Up?

It's a pretty safe bet that the other people at your meeting are going to behave in the ways they typically do. Today is probably not going to be the day that your grumpy co-worker becomes optimistic or that the chronic interrupter starts allowing others to speak. If you go into the meeting expecting others will behave in their usual ways, you may take their actions less personally and be more open to engaging in a different way.

At the same time, though, it's important to be aware of any events or situations that could change how others show up. Does anyone attending have an especially heavy workload right now? Is anyone dealing with a family situation? If you have trouble answering questions like those about your colleagues, that could be a sign to start paying some extra attention to strengthening your relationships with them.

3. What Questions Might Others Have?

Many times, if someone questions your ideas, opinions or decisions at a meeting, it's because they don't understand the connection between your actions and the big picture of what's right for the organization. If you speak just about your (or your department’s) goals and priorities, others may wonder whether your motivation is self-serving. So, as you prepare for your meeting, think about how you can "connect the dots" and help others understand your intent if they ask questions.

4. What Resistance or Objections Might Arise?

Even if you're proposing something at this meeting that seems like it should be a slam dunk, take a moment to think about any obstacles you might run into. What concerns might the other meeting attendees have? Preparing for pushback will keep you from being blindsided and help you disagree without being disagreeable.

5. How Will You Respond to Those Objections?

If you do encounter resistance, you can respond to it in a way that helps others feel heard and respected even as you are trying to win them over to your way of thinking. Different people can be influenced in different ways. The Center for Creative Leadership identifies three styles of influencing: 

• Head – a logical appeal focused on organization and individual benefits and typically full of data and facts

• Heart – an emotional appeal linked to something the person cares about such as individual goals and values

• Hand – a cooperative appeal that offers collaboration, consultation and alliances

The best tactic, of course, depends on your audience. So consider which approaches would work best for the different people at your meeting.

If you have a few minutes right now, answer these questions for the next meeting you have coming up. Want more leadership strategies you can put to use immediately? Pick up a copy of my book "Show Up. Step Up. Step Out." It will help you start taking small steps that lead to big results.

10 Ways to Use Your Body to Change Your Mind

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

As high performers, we're used to thinking of solutions for challenges. But sometimes all that thinking just doesn't work. Trying to think your way out of feeling stressed, frustrated or stuck often ends up making things worse. In the same way, it's hard to think yourself into feeling energetic, confident or calm.

Instead, there's another approach that can be a lot more effective — and a lot more fun. I'm a big believer in using your body to change your mind. More and more research shows us the power of the mind-body connection. Because of this connection, some activities that might not feel productive can actually help you be at your best.

So the next time you find yourself thinking about how to solve or fix something (especially if that "something" is your own mood or mindset), turn your brain off for a while and try one of these ideas instead. 

1. Get Moving

Exercise doesn't just enhance your physical fitness. It also gets your brain in shape. Studies have found a pretty amazing list of mental benefits from exercise. To name just a few, a good workout helps your brain produce feel-good endorphins, improves your stress response, boosts your confidence and reduces anxiety. The next time you feel stressed or stumped, step away from your desk for a walk. Even a quick break for some physical activity can lift your mood and clear mental blocks.

2. Go Outside

That walk will benefit your productivity even more if you can take it outside. Time in nature is a scientifically proven mood booster. It lowers your blood pressure and levels of cortisol, the "fight or flight" hormone. And when it comes to boosting your energy, a nature break is right up there with a cup of coffee. When you return to your desk, it should be easier to focus and concentrate.

3. Laugh It Up

If you tend to check social media during your breaks, skip your news feeds and go straight to the page of your friend who shares the funniest memes. Or perhaps watch a few minutes of a standup special or comedy series. I don't have to tell you that a good laugh feels great. But it also has profound effects on your body and mind. Laughing raises your energy and lowers stress and negative feelings. It can even help you process something that's been bothering you.

4. Let the Tears Flow

Crying may not feel as good in the moment as laughter does. But it's just as beneficial for you. When you cry, your body releases chemicals that can actually help ease both physical and emotional pain and leave you feeling calmer. Some researchers even think crying purges stress hormones and other toxins from your body. If you tend to hold back tears and "push through," see what happens when you give yourself the time and privacy to release all that tension in a good cry.

5. Give and Get Hugs (Safely)

One of the hardest things about the Covid pandemic is that it has limited our physical contact with people we care about. But now, as more of us get vaccinated, there should be more hugs in our future. And not a moment too soon. Touch lowers stress hormones and raises our body's feel-good chemicals, like serotonin. If you live with others, don't forget to spread the hugs to them, too. Sometimes we get lost in our phones in an effort to de-stress. But it would actually lower your stress a lot more to put down the phone and call for a group hug.

6. Maintain Your Appearance

As the pandemic continues on, many of us are feeling lethargy and apathy. In the words of one woman interviewed by The New York Times, remote work has us stuck in "deep pajamaville." Getting out of pajamaville can help us cope with pandemic fatigue. We often talk about maintaining a professional appearance in terms of how it makes others perceive us. But don't forget that the way you look, and the level of care you put into your appearance, also affects how you perceive yourself. This week, devote a little extra time to getting ready even when you don't have a Zoom call. Pull a favorite outfit or accessory back out. Pay attention to how changing your physical appearance affects your confidence and energy.

7. Boogie Down

One advantage of remote work? You have the privacy to get your groove on to your favorite music when you need a break. Dancing can help you stave off anxiety and depression, research has shown. Need some new moves? Get your kids to teach you viral dance trends from TikTok.

8. Belt One Out

While you're dancing, feel free to sing along (even if your kids cringe). Like spending time in nature or getting a big hug, singing lowers the stress hormone cortisol. So go ahead and unleash your inner Beyonce or Bruno Mars.

9. Strike a Pose

No time to take a walk — or stage your own mini musical production number? Just take a moment to stand up and put your hands on your hips (think Wonder Woman). Researcher Amy Cuddy has found that "power poses" like this one help us become "happier, more optimistic, more confident, more creative, more likely to take action, more likely to seek rewards and opportunities, (and) more physically energetic."

10. Be Still

A lot of the ideas in this article involve moving your body in some way. But sometimes what we need most is to quiet the body and, in turn, the mind. Meditation allows us to pause our relentless doing to just be. Practicing mindfulness meditation changes your brain activity — even when you are not meditating.

Your body holds as much wisdom as your mind does. What is it telling you it needs right now? Commit to trying at least one of these ideas this week. For more self-care strategies like the ones in this article, pick up a copy of "Staying in the Driver's Seat," part of my Leadership EDGE℠ series.